13.1.3

He wondered if they would cry.

Subaru wondered if the people important to him would be sad about his death.

In the world he would leave through selfishly experiencing death, would the irreplaceable people he left behind miss him? Would they be sad at his passing?

As Subaru repeated Return by Death, would they, too, be chagrined?

There were people who he thought of as precious, who he believed he had to protect, who he yearned to save.

—Did he have enough worth to make these previous people miss him?

Is it fine to be that conceited?

Do precious people think of a guy like me…as a precious existence?

Is it all right for me to believe that?

To believe I'm needed by the people I want to protect, enough that they want to protect even a guy like me?

Is it forgivable to even wish for it?

To wish that even a guy like me is worth enough that people would cry if they lost me, that they'd reach a hand out because they want to save me?

—Is it all right for me to even think it?

To think I don't wanna die.

To think I don't want to give up, to say this is the only way.

To think I don't want to become the cornerstone that protects the future of the people precious to me, and then disappear.

To think I want to be with those precious people in the future I've protected, together.

Is it all right to think like that?

Do I have that kind of worth?

If I really do—

"I don't…wanna die…"

A clump of blood made a sound as it fell. There was a sound of air leaking out, and it brought along a different sound.

His breathing eased. His consciousness was returning. His hazy vision had begun to return, and with it, color returned to the world.

And then—

"I knew that's how you really felt all along…you jerk!!"

…As he tenaciously crawled, the face of Wrath came into focus, right as she healed him with a headbutt.