Sector LN, Part 2: Uncharted Territory

Luna Nova; Team Akko's Room

"Mmmm…uuuhhn…" Vision finally returned to Akko's eyes. She could make out a blurry figure with a greenish, banana-colored top, which was revealed to be Diana with her usual, disapproving stare. "You really are a pain to deal with, you know?" she asked.

Akko realized she was on her bed, and their friends were all bundled in her room. Akko herself had several bruises and an ice bag on her head. "I guess Sheila really got me good…" She spoke through gaps in her teeth.

"You should consider yourself lucky. You could have gotten brain damage, or worse." Diana said furiously. "Honestly, it's like you don't even care if you live or die sometimes. Imagine how people would feel if you were gone. Your friends would be crying for months."

"Geez," Amanda remarked, painting Lotte's nails on the top bunk, "why don't you two just hook up and be gay already?"

"Please." Diana sighed. "The point is, Akko, you're incredibly reckless, and that's going to get you in trouble in more ways than one. The Supreme Leader heard about the fight from Earth's leader and deducted points from us for picking a fight without permission. So, once you're all healed, I expect you to clean the base from floor to ceiling."

"That's not faaaiiiir."

"Come on, Diana." Lotte smiled. "We may've lost points, but we did make some new friends." She bent over the side of the bunk and held her crystal ball down. "Just look."

After Sheila laid one last good punch against Akko, the battered witch finally fell in defeat. "Heh… blimey." Sheila panted in exhaust. "I was afraid… she'd never go down…" And she fell beside Akko, snoring away.

"That girl is something else, let me tell you." Diana said, standing up.

"She sure is." Aurora replied. "Congratulations, you passed the test."

"Huh?"

"We said we would give you a test fight and you passed. So, now we'll schedule a serious fight with your sector."

"Oh, I appreciate the gesture, but that was just an impulse idea. I don't think we're ready."

"Oh, we make those all the time!" Aurora beamed. "We'll let you pick the time and date. Take all the time you need to get ready, but we hope to see you again in the future." She reached a hand.

"Hm… Thank you, Aurora." Diana shook her hand.

The crystal ball showed a picture of the two sectors interacting. Is this a sector alliance?! Are they another planet's top sector? Oh gosh, Haruka/Sucy, best of friends!! I love that red-haired witch! These were some of the comments.

"Yes… in spite of your reckless actions," Diana said, "we have gained some recognition. In fact, if I'm being honest… seeing you fight, Akko… it was like seeing a whole new side to you. It was… motivating."

"You just can't stay mad at her, can you, Diana?" Hannah replied.

"Do you remember what I told you, Akko?" Diana asked, facing upward. "I believed that you could change the world if you tried, and I still believe that. But we are one sector out of thousands on one of thousands of planets. We may never come close to the level of Sector V, but that does not mean we cannot set an example. As the pride of Luna Nova, it is my duty to be the greatest and give my peers something to strive for. So, with that in mind… I've decided on our next mission."

They headed down into the base located under Team Amanda's room. Diana brought up an image on the screen. "This is the GKND's Guide to the Galaxy, a digital booklet describing all the planets under the KND's name. There is also a list of known planets that either have no KND, or have not been explored by any KND." She showed them the list. "Any sector that were to explore these planets and return with new information would receive extra points and be credited for the deed. So, my proposal is that we select one of these planets and go on an adventure."

"YAY!" Akko cheered, kicking her feet and arms up. "An adventure on a new planet! I'm so excited, I can't stand it!" The shifted weight caused her to fall back in her chair. "Ueck!"

"You all should count yourself lucky Diana's letting you in on this." Barbara said. "She could lead an expedition all by herself if she wants to."

"Yes, well, I wouldn't be much of a leader if I didn't have my team. So, let's take a look at our options. First, there is Sweetopia, the Food Planet. However, this has long been under the control of the Big Mom Pirates, and given the resurrection of their queen, this planet has become forbidden territory for us operatives."

"But it looks so delicious." Jasminka said sadly.

"I doubt even you could stomach that much food, Jasminka." Lotte replied, giggling.

"But Sheila was the one who defeated Big Mom!" Akko got back up, raising a fist. "I'll bet the nine of us could take that 5,000-year-old queen down easy!"

"Forget it, Akko. We don't even know a way to stop Gruntilda, yet, so we're best staying off that planet for as long as we can."

"I know." Sucy began with a wicked grin. "Let's explore Planet Venom." She pointed at a dark-yellowish planet with gas-green clouds floating around it. "I bet it smells amazing."

"The air is toxic, the sea is acidic, and in the past, it was consumed in war for about 30 years."

"Yeah," Barbara replied, "if we're gonna colonize a planet, I want one with a little more civilization."

"Hey!" Hannah beamed. "Let's go to Planet Yarn! I hear they make the most beautiful dresses in the universe!"

"Not a bad choice." Amanda smirked. "I wonder how it'll look if I set it all on fire?" Hannah shot her a glare.

"What about the planets in New Galaxia?" Lotte asked. "I'm sure there's a BUNCH of fun places to explore there."

"WAAAIIIT!" Akko's eyes sparkled, charging up and stamping her finger on one. "We'll go to THIS planet!!"

Their eyes fixed on the wacky planet with bulgy-eyed clown heads with nosehair roller coasters and big bouncy jelly balls. "Bobopolis?" Diana read.

"It's the planet that was created by that Zach boy on Field Day! It says that all operatives are too scared to set foot on this planet because of Zach's crazy sense of humor! Imagine if WE were the first operatives! I mean, just how bad can it be compared to the other ones?"

"That planet looks so childish." Hannah said with disgust. "How could anyone be scared of it?"

"I have heard rumors of Zach Murphy's method of fighting." Diana folded her arms in thought. "Apparently, while it isn't designed to hurt people, it drives them to such insanity that they faint. It even resulted in the death of Dr. Nefarious, the most wanted criminal of the Solana Galaxy. I would question how such a style is productive, but the results speak for themselves. We directly witnessed the planet spawn from Zach's body. The very thought of such power… is terrifying…"

"So, what? We aren't gonna go?" Akko asked.

Diana faced her with a confident smile. "I'm far used to YOUR childish antics by now, Akko. Whatever this planet brings, I think we'll be able to handle it." She balled her fist and announced passionately, "We have our mission, team! Tomorrow, we explore Planet Bobopolis!"

"YAAAAAAY!"

Tomorrow

Sector LN rode to Bobopolis on Constanze's Stanship, a huge red ship with a golden hull. It was rebuilt with a roof, windows, and interior cockpit so it would be suitable for space travel. The girls were dressed in casual attire – Akko had an orange T-shirt with a blue star, black shorts, and green sandals, and Constanze had a green "E=mc^2" shirt and blue jean skirt for instance. Diana, however, insisted on wearing her witch's attire to represent Luna Nova pride.

Bobopolis was located right next to Amazonia. "I can't believe those poor Amazons have to put up with that planet." Hannah said.

"I can't believe they didn't explore the planet their selves if they're so close." Akko followed. "Is it because it was made by a boy, or are they just that scared?"

"We'll see for ourselves soon enough." Diana said, sitting in the captain's seat. "Amanda, set a course for that giant bag of bird tails. That seems like an interesting place to start."

"Aye-aye, Cap'ndish." Amanda remarked, riding a broom to steer the ship. They drew ever closer to the unexplored planet, excitement and anxiety filling their hearts. They were moments from passing the atmosphere and seeing the surface in its glory.

Then, their ship crashed into an invisible, rubbery substance and bounced backward. "What?!" questioned Diana. They watched as a charming, friendly face formed before them, covering the central chunk of the planet.

"Hi there! I'm the Bobopolan Atmosphere. I protect the planet's oxygen, ensuring life for all the wonderful creatures that live inside me."

"Oh God, we can't go to this planet." Barbara said in fear.

"Patience, my children. All I wish is for you to have a fun, oxygenated experience on your trip to Bobopolis. If you wish to continue, simply fly through my left tear duct. It is the only entrance big enough to support your vessel."

"All right… I won't question it." Diana sighed. "Do what he says, Amanda."

"Hmmmph." Constanze grunted, angry that her precious ship had to make a journey so degrading.

Amanda steered the ship toward the atmosphere's left tear duct, and the second they entered, they were whisked into hyperspace. Amanda kept the ship steady until they reached the light at the end of the tunnel, and once there, Amanda immediately pulled her broom to a halt before they crashed on a giant plum with a troll face. "Grrr. We haven't even landed and I'm sick of this planet. The sooner we're done here, the better."

Amanda parked the Stanship next to the plum as everyone stepped outside. "YAHOOOOO!" Akko cheered to the heavens. "A WHOLE NEW WORLD! Quick, Hannah, get my picture!" She ran ahead and posed before a mountainous landscape, which looked like sloping CDs with sunglasses. "Sheila's gonna be SO jealous when she sees I landed here first!"

"You'll adjust to this world quicker than anybody." Hannah remarked, taking the picture.

"Hahaha! Yay!" Akko twirled.

"This planet doesn't seem too bad so far." Lotte smiled. "They were probably overselling it. Well, where should we go first? The CD Mountains? That Nosehair Forest? The Screaming Wallpaper Cliff?"

"We need to go to a town and collect information from the locals." Diana replied. "I say those buildings shaped like arm-wrestlers are a good place to start. …As odd as it feels to say that sentence."

"Alright. Let's hop to it." Akko said, skipping in that direction.

"HOLD ON, GIRLS." They gasped and whipped around: the other three landscapes had grown angry faces. "What the hell does Arm-Wrestleville got over US?!" asked CD Mountains. "We ain't good enough to explore?!"

"YEAH!" shouted Nosehair Forest. "We're SICK of people overlooking us because we cheated in the golfing tournament! LET'S GET 'EEEEM!"

Some gangster music started to play as the landscapes began bashing the girls back and forth like angry desk portraits. To and fro and fro and to, and even a "Q", and when the girls were flying toward the Wallpaper Cliff, they screamed, "GAAAAAAAHH!" and fired a cannonball shaped like a traffic cone with a baseball bat. The cone swung its massive bat and sent the witches flying at breakneck speeds.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" They were flying so fast, it rivaled even Sheila's speed, Akko thought. "HUH?" They looked around, seeing a flock of stuffed lions munching on music note cereal.

♪ "Sooooaaaaar above the clouds and chew sweet muuuuusic all around!" ♪

"At least Zach knows how to add charm to a planet!" Lotte said. "This whole thing is probably an elaborate welcome party. I bet you we'll land safely on a big, bouncy talking gum-"

"DAAAAH!" They were SQUASHED under a giant football with Glenn Quagmire's face. "Hey girls, ever heard of this thing called fanservice?"

"Our show is clean and family friendly!" Lotte yelled.

"Sorry, you're in the world of shōnen now! Giggity-giggity-otaku-giggity!"

"Huuuurrrrr!" Jasminka lifted the football with all her strength and kicked it as far as she could, which was only 20 feet. "Huff…huff… that football weighed 10 tons. You guys aren't hurt, are you?"

Akko quickly got up, bending her back straight again. "Compared to Sheila's punches, it was nothing!"

"Actually, it does feel like nothing." Diana replied, the others standing with little pain. "We were just beaten around and sent flying across the world completely unscathed. I wonder if anything on this world is real or it's all in our heads."

"That's a very good question to ask, girls. And like any good question, it deserves to be sprinkled on quality sausage." A masculine voice spoke. The Nine Witches looked up, seeing a muscular man with a golden afro sitting on a throne that looked like an armpit.

"Who are you?" asked Akko.

"My name is Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, the King of Bobobo-bo Bo-bobopolis, known as Bobopolis for short, of course I wanted to call it Sushirama, but the tax payers wouldn't let me. You girls must have flown into my castle's throat, but you traveled down the wrong pipe, so now you're in my throne room located in the armpit. You should know that ignoring sensitive landscapes is a Code 31 offense, but I'll overlook it seeing as you're tourists."

"So, you're the king of this world?" Diana inquired as Hannah was taking pictures of all the giant purple hair strands with faces.

"Temporary king, actually. Y'see, even though the universes were restored, the IDA are havin' trouble figuring out what goes where in MY world, since we forgot to design it with an auto-repair system. Luckily, Zach offered me sanctuary in the safety of his central lobe."

"Well, we're from the Avalaran Kids Next Door, and we're here to collect information about this planet's geography and economy." Diana conjured a magic notepad and feather pen. "So, if you wouldn't mind…"

"YOU BETCHOR FOLLICLES I WOULDN'T MIND!" Bo-bobo thundered, scaring them out of their skin. "Listen girls, if you come to this planet with a solid mind, you're going home in an insane asylum! This world is without law, so you better obey the law and get CRAZY!"

"But if that's true, then there shouldn't be a king." Sucy figured.

"WHAT?! Er, that is to say, I…"

"Hey! Did you hear that, Jojojo-jo Jo-jojo?!" Bo-bobo flinched, hearing a soft voice. Behind his throne were two giants; their legs were comparatively small, but they had massive bulging muscles.

"You bet I did, Popopo-po Po-popo!" replied the grey-haired giant with a hat and goatee. He was talking to a black-skinned, Arab-like man with pointy ears. "It's finally time for the Muscle Monarch to begin!"

"Whoa, they're even bigger than the giant sector!" Amanda exclaimed.

"That's not what we agreed on!" Popo said. "We promised to begin the Genie Regime!"

"Screw yo' meanie genies! Muscles are the way of the future, baby!"

"My muscles are far bigger than yours!"

"Oh yeah?! HRRRNNNN!" JoJo's muscles puffed even bigger.

"Of course! HOOOOO!" Popo did the same.

"BIGGER!" JoJo's increased further.

"MORE! HOOOO!" Popo made his larger. "Hmmmfff… ulp! Oh no!" He gasped for breath. "My… muscles are so large… I can't… breathe! Uuuulp…" He fell dead.

"Foolish Popo! You gave your muscles so much helium, it made your lungs as flimsy as balloons. Thankfully, my lungs are reinforced with Sticky Tape."

"Astounding indeed." Hannah said, taking pictures of the sight.

"Huh?!" JoJo saw the camera flash and looked over. "IS THAT A 40,000 YEN CAMERA?!"

"Uhh… It was 10,000 gems."

"OH NOOOO!" Bo-bobo screamed. "He LOVES to smash expensive cameras! RUN FOR IT!"

"AAAAAHHH!" Hannah ran for her life, clasping the camera in both hands. "DIANA, HELP ME!"

"Leave her alone!" Diana shouted. "Confringo Incendio!" She tried to cast an explosive flame spell, but all that came out was a spinning baseball head. "Huh?!"

"Diana, don't you see?!" Akko asked. "This world is probably filled with powerful Psychic Chi, which means we have to use our imaginations! I summon a golden chariot with white Pegasi!" Instead, what she got was a body pillow of Service Man. "Uh… or not."

"NOOOO!" JoJo had grabbed Hannah by the camera and was squeezing it. "PLEASE, NOT MY CAMERA! Do you know how rare this model is?!"

"Grrr… I see." Diana said. "I guess I don't have a choice. CANDY BATHTUB SPELL!" She whooshed her wand, firing a bathtub filled with M&M's.

"AAAAHH!" The tub engulfed JoJo, who dropped Hannah. "No, please! I'm allergic to the orange ones! OH NOOOOO!"

POP! JoJo exploded into fireworks, which shaped like Spongebob characters. Everyone faced Diana with mouths agape, Hannah and Barb especially. Her cheeks were red on her flawless face. "Uh… did that actually work?"

"Diana, that spell was one of Bo-bobo's attacks in the manga." Lotte said. "Did you just come up with it yourself, or…?"

"Ooo, is Diana a young mangaka?" Akko asked with a cheeky grin.

"Hmmmff…" Diana shut her eyes, still blushing. "Sigh, when I was a little girl, I… saw the book in the library. It looked so atrocious and juvenile, even to me, so I read it out of sheer curiosity."

"And how much of it did you read?"

"Mmmmhh… Ten volumes."

"YA HA HA!" Akko fell on her back, clutching her stomach in laughter. "Diana, you're such a NERD!"

"Please, I'm not as obsessive as SOME people! I merely read or watch things for the sake of review."

"What's that?!" asked an armpit hair tree. "Someone's going to review us?!"

"Oh, no! I haven't cleaned my house since Cousins Day!"

"We gotta do something, Arm Hairs! Quick, get your Play-Doh!" They blew Play-Doh out of their noses, and they took the forms of various humans, like Johnny Depp, Queen Elizabeth, and that Kiss guy everybody hates. They all began to charge at the sector with golf clubs.

"Girls, let's get out of here!" Diana yelled, mounting her broom with Akko at her back. The witches flew away from the throne room, with the Play-Doh Men giving chase on flying turtle shells.

"Diana, if nothing can hurt us on this world, why do we bother running?!" Akko asked.

"We can't take the risk. Girls, move to the side for a bit, I'll dispose of them." The teammates obeyed, leaving nothing to obstruct their leader from the Play-Doh Men. "Super Fist of Luna Nova: Professor Badcock's Wrinkle Cream!" Badcock's head peeped out the brush of her broom, spewing a stream of cream from her nose. That stream became a wave, which the Play-Doh Men began to surf, soaring far away from the witches.

"YAHOOOO! You got 'em, Diana!"

"We do not speak of this to the professors."

"I dunno if I wanna keep my lips sealed on this one." Amanda smirked.

"I dunno if I wanna stay on this planet any longer." Barbara replied. "Don't you think we've collected enough info?"

"But we've barely even scratched the surface." Akko said. "It isn't that bad so far, we can handle it. Look, why don't we go check out that forest?" She pointed to a forest of pompadours.

"I'm afraid we can't go there." Diana replied.

"Why not?"

Diana turned to her with a steak on her forehead. "They don't accept Steakheads."

"DWAAAAH!" Akko fell off the broom in absolute shock.

"Get a grip on yourself, Try Hard." Amanda grabbed her by the ankle. "Actually, it looks like I should tell Diana that. 'Guess there's a first for everything."

"The People of Pompadouria have assaulted us Steakheads for too long!" Diana shouted, whirling a maelstrom of magic around. "I'll get my revenge with old-fashioned cheese graters!" A storm of cheese graters rained down onto the pompadours.

"ACK!" one of them screamed, the pompadours growing faces. "The cheese graters are still mad at us for taking their mouse pads! PROTECT US, JOSUKE!"

Gigantic patties fell from the heavens and crushed the graters against an even bigger pompadour, the top of which looked like a grill. The witches gaped when the massive head of its owner rose from the earth. "We Pompadours just want to live in peace. But if this is the path you choose, so be it. DORARARARARA!" The patties began rapidly flipping and flattening the graters underneath, completely restructuring them into a pencil sharpener, cement churner, a Walgreens, and other things.

"Hmmm…" A second face emerged from the giant's hair, one with big eyelashes beautiful pink eyes, and soft, tender lips.

"EYAAAAAAHHH!" Needless to say it freaked the girls out.

"Who are you girls? Are you from the Hair Kingdom or Stand Kingdom?"

"W-W-W-We're from Avalar." Lotte stuttered.

"Hmmm…" The face seemed to study them. "Yes… you girls seem to qualify. Please, grab onto my eyelashes." Its gorgeous eyelashes grew like beanstalks.

"Waaaaahhhh!" the witches screamed as they were rising into the heavens. "What's that?!" Akko asked, seeing what they were rising toward. "A giant Little Mermaid 2 case?!"

"Never mind that!" Hannah shouted. "Why are OURS covered in BARB WIRE?!" Indeed, she and Barbara were bleeding from their prickly lashes. "And PLEASE don't say it's because her name is Barbara!"

"Brace yourselves!" Amanda yelled. "We're about to enter! WHOOOAA!" They burst through the movie case, and Ariel's face came off to reveal Donkey Kong's face.

The girls moaned as they recovered, finding their selves in a wooden, Japanese-style house. "Finally, someplace normal." Diana said. "But for how long?"

"Hello, ladies." A boy with massive muscles and a purple uniform towered behind them, his head and pompadour the same as the one outside.

"AAAAAAAHHHHH!"

"So… you must be the ones who destroyed my father, Jo-jojo just now." He spoke with a vengeful glare.

"What?! I'm terribly sorry!" Diana panicked. "I didn't mean to destroy him, I was only trying to help my friend!"

"Hm hm, it's okay." The boy smiled. "It's impossible to die on this planet." He calmly pulled his nose off, leaking a bunch of air and shrinking out of his clothes. He was now as skinny as a stick, save for his head and hands. "I'm Josuke."

"YOU LEAKED TOO MUCH AIR!" they screamed.

"I have to keep a level of insanity to survive on this planet." Josuke went to get a spare uniform, fit for his smaller size. "You can rest your minds. This place is a sanctuary of sorts. The only way to enter this place is to present something extremely rare. Such as a Speed Limit sign that doesn't end in '0' or '5', an anime with no fanservice, or a shōnen series with more female protagonists than boys. Because the Gameverse has been considered a shōnen universe, you girls fit the bill."

"Not the fanservice?" Lotte cocked a brow.

"Foot close-ups, Yuri pairings," Josuke skimmed a list, "Giant/Tiny scenes, Jasminka inflated herself-"

"Never mind."

"As for me, I'm probably the most sane person on this planet. And meeting people from the outside is very pleasant. You see, sane people are practically magnets to the denizens of this world." As he spoke, Hannah was trying to peel Diana's steak off her face. "And our sanity tastes like candy." Hannah succeeded, exposing a stoic frowny face bulging on Diana's forehead.

Jasminka was licking an ice cream brain. "Sanity tastes good!"

"While it's not possible to die, people will go insane when exposed to this world for too long. So insane that they won't be able to leave. And even if they could leave… I wonder for how long? This world is secluded from the Law that defines the rest of the universe. Nothing here is permanent and anything can happen. But outside this world, while Bo-bobo Kempo is used as an effective fighting style, anything caused by it can be erased."

"Well, that's not technically true." Akko said. "I mean, this world exists, doesn't it? Bobopolis was created by Bo-bobo Kempo."

"Hmm… true." Josuke viewed the sky beyond the window. "In fact, I always wondered… is it possible for me to survive beyond the atmosphere? Or would I disappear in the ocean that is Law?"

"Why don't we find out?" Akko asked, grinning.

"Hm? What do you mean?"

"Well, we have a ship! We'll take you onboard and get you off this crazy planet!"

"Th-That's crazy! Everyone that has tried to leave this planet has failed, by one random thing or another!"

"Well, our policy is to keep trying, no matter how impossible it seems! After all, this planet is built around crazy, right? Well, if we're crazy enough to try and escape, then we'll succeed! Who's with me, team?!"

"Well, our duty as operatives compels us to help those in need." Diana said, her forehead face still present. "Very well. I think we've collected enough info on this world to be of service, and we could always ask Josuke for more."

"Great!" cheered Akko. "Then let's rush back to the Stanship! It was next to a giant plum with a troll face, if I recall."

"Hmm…" Josuke smiled. "Around you girls, I actually feel hopeful… wait, TROLL FACE PLUM?! OH NOOO!"

"Oh, boy…" Amanda sighed.

"Every day at noon, the Qwark Comet crushes that plum under its left butt cheek! In just a few minutes, your ship will be flattened!!"

"HUUUUH?!?"

"Let me tell you how it all went down. I was hired to save this little town." A gigantic model of Captain Qwark was slowly descending from a hole in the clouds, the left of its rear bottom directly positioned over the Stanship. "Theeeey were trying to sink the city; I jumped in to save the daaaay! I swam right under it… and plugged the leak… with just my left – butt – cheek."

"Then our mini vacation is over!" Akko decided. "Jasminka: CARRY US TO FREEDOM!"

The 10 BURST out of the sanctuary; Jasminka's arms had become feathers, carrying all of her friends plus Josuke by the shirts in her teeth. "Constanze, can you use the Auto Accio to summon the Stanship?!"

"Mm-mm." She shook her head, pointing down at the ground. A bunch of fish with big smiles were hopping all around the surface.

"Damn. We need an open space to use the Auto Accio." Amanda said.

"The Troll Plum is that way." Josuke pointed. "Whatever you do, don't get hit by the—" They crashed face-first into a pair of crescent moon spectacles. "Dumbledore Glasses…"

The glasses turned into sunshades as Dumbledore's face appeared, albeit with a bigger mouth and few teeth, which were golden. "YA-HEY, wassa happen', wicka witchas? Y'all reddy to flick them wicka wands?"

"Darn it!" Akko shouted. "Why is he a different actor in every movie?!"

"HEY, DUMBLEDUMB!" Amanda shouted with sunshades and an equally big mouth. "So ya like them golden teeth, do ya?! I bet they hain't no good against this: the Super Fist of the Rebel, TEEN BEACH KICKAPOW!" She kicked one foot up at Dumbledore's teeth, and it divided into a bunch of legs, which soon became the actors of Teen Beach Movie, bending the head's upper half back until he shriveled up like Pac-Man.

"Hurry, girls!" Josuke shouted, seeing the Qwark Comet in the distance. "It's going to crash any second!"

"Not on my watch!" Lotte declared, whipping out her Night Fall volume. "Super Fist of the Fangirl, Arthur's Rocket of ROMANCE!" She ripped the book open, letting loose a rocket that depicted the nude forms of Arthur and Bella. The rocket flew directly for the comet, but Qwark's eyes glanced down to see it. His teeth opened, firing a giant Snoopy head that barked, "RUFF WOFF woof" and completely tore through the spacecraft. "AAAAAHHH!" The girls screamed as their fates were sealed.

But just as the explosion cleared away, the group realized they had been turned into mushrooms. "Huh? Sucy, I assume this is YOUR attack." Akko figured.

"I needed something comfy to rest on." They felt her giant weight lie down on them.

"Is this really the time for a nap-" Akko looked up at herself. "WAIT, WHY DID YOU TURN INTO ME?!"

"There is nothing faster than the flow of time when Akko sleeps during library duty." Sucy replied in Akko's form and pajamas. "Nighty-night." She fell asleep with her legs arched up.

"WAAAAAHHHH!" The mushrooms flew like the speed of light. "We're about to crash into it!" Akko shouted. "Somebody do something!"

"Now it's OUR turn!" The Hannah-Barbara shrooms chorused. "Super Fist of Pureblood, DIANA'S GOLDEN GLORY!" They erected a great golden statue of Diana.

It crashed headfirst against Qwark's bottom, but the slow-moving comet seemed less than impressed. "…Really? Is that the best you got?"

The two former bullies exchanged worried glances. "But… Diana's the best at everything."

Qwark rolled his eyes as a fighter plane flew out of his nose, shooting holes all over the statue before it exploded. The girls screamed again as they were blown away. "Actually, that gold is just what I needed!" said Diana. "When I absorb its reflective light into my eyes," her eyes glimmered, "I can create THIS: the Dwayne Johnson Spring Pad!" In a flash, Dwayne Johnson appeared behind them, and the second they hit his rock-hard abs, they sprung back toward the comet at terrific speed. "It's up to you now, Akko!"

"Right! Super Fist of the Shiny Rod!" Akko drew her bow and pulled back an arrow.

"Ooooo, pretty bow." Qwark said tauntingly. "What's that supposed to do to-"

"Shinyyyyy VOLCANO!" Instead of an arrow, Akko loosed an entire volcano.

"WAAAAAH!" Qwark's eyes popped out as the mountain hit him dead on, the comet flying across the horizon.

"I don't believe it!" Josuke exclaimed. "You actually stopped the Qwark Comet?!"

"BELIEVE IT, Joruto! Constanze, fire this baby up and get us off this rock!"

The ten boarded the Stanship as Constanze began to activate the engines. She then pointed skyward, signaling Amanda to pull up the broom and take off. "Alright! We're about to escape!" Akko exclaimed. "Soon, our names will be in the headlines as the first kids to set foot on—THE ATMOSPHERE!!" The charming face of the Bobopolan Atmosphere loomed in their wake.

"Hello, children. My apologies, but I cannot allow you to leave the ozone. It is my turn to pay the air bill this month, and I wish to savor it as much as possible."

"Grrrrr!" Constanze glared with spite and pressed a button, firing a chainsaw cannon. Unfortunately, it had no effect.

"Ha ha ha! Very funny, children. Your ozone is much stronger than you think."

Constanze grit her teeth and turned the engines up to full force. "WHOA!" Amanda yelped. "Alright, Constanze, you want me to ram this sucker, I'LL RAM HIM!"

"I hope you know what you're doing, Constanze!" Akko yelled, forced back against her seat.

"WAAAAAAAHHH!" The ship crashed dead against the atmosphere, exploding into millions of pieces.

"Alas, my children… you will breathe the tickly scent of Bobopolis's air forevermore. …Huh?" The atmosphere spotted a tiny Stanbot.

"Master Constanze says, 'Super Fist of the Creator: God's Constructive Hands.'"

"Oh?" A godly pair of gloved hands appeared over the atmosphere. "AAAAAAHHH!" They began to set to work on the ozone. "No, please! Not that! Anything but that! EEAAAAAHHH!" Constanze had reformed the ozone into a trapezoidal shape. "No no NOOOO! I can't relive the days of the trapezoid! I don't know how to measure its area! IT MADE ME FAIL 4TH GRADE! NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

And so, the Stanbot was able to escape from his gaping mouth. They flew miles away from Bobopolis, observing the planet from a much safer view. "I…I don't believe it." Josuke said, gazing down at his planet for the first time in his life. "I'm the first Bobopolan… to ever escape from my world."

"It turns out, no amount of insanity is a match for the friendship of the Nine New Witches!" Akko declared.

"Yes… you're right." Josuke closed his eyes. "You know, I think I would like to go back."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" they all outbursted. "After all that drama, you're suddenly homesick?!" Amanda finished.

"You girls are Kids Next Door. Your job is to bring hope to kids and adults everywhere." He spoke with shining passion in his eyes. "I wonder… if there are other people like me in that world? People who struggle to maintain their sanity in the midst of chaos? I think… I would like to find those people. And we'll start the Bobopolan Kids Next Door."

The witches didn't know how to respond. They were only so awestruck by his decision. Not only would they be credited for exploring that world… but they may have caused the creation of a brand new Kids Next Door branch. "But I don't have to head back now, I suppose." Josuke smiled. "Perhaps I'll explore a new planet first. Ah, like that one!" He pointed at Amazonia.

"Uh, hate to break it to you, but men aren't allowed on that planet." Lotte said sheepishly.

"Oh, that's okay. Gender-swapping is a basic power for us Bobopolans." So with that, he pulled off just a single strand of pompadour hair, causing it to drop behind his neck and for his very build to change. "Okay: let's go meet the ladies." He spoke in a feminine voice.

The Nine Witches went absolutely pale, jaws discarded on the floor. "Oh, great." Deadpool said, reading this story. "Another chick flick."

Luna Nova, the next day

"EXTRA, EXTRA! Read all about it!" Wangari, Luna Nova's dark-skinned reporter was throwing newspapers everywhere, kicking her bare legs high with each step. "A planet that billions have feared to set foot on was explored by our very own team of operatives!" The front page showed a picture of Sector LN with the female Josuke, Bobopolis in the background. "Why does Diana have steak on her forehead?! Was Jasminka ALWAYS part-bird?! These are the questions that will keep us up at night! The whole universe will be talking about it!"

Inside their base, Diana was smiling at the newspaper, while Akko was busy scrubbing the floors. "Well, Diana, if that isn't inspiration, I'm not sure what is."

"Mmm… part of me feels I don't deserve this victory. It felt… too simple. More simple than baking my first potion."

"Of course it was simple. You had the eight best witches of Luna Nova to help you! No way you would've survived that planet all by yourself!"

"The problem is, she just ain't used to sharing the spotlight." Amanda remarked, leaning against the wall with arms behind her head.

"Well, to be fair, I did more than you did." Diana retorted.

"Man, you just can't go one day without insulting me."

"Ah, cut Diana some slack, Amanda. That forehead face hasn't left her since yesterday." Akko said.

"WHAT?!" Diana immediately grabbed a mirror. "WHY HASN'T ANYONE SAID ANY…?" Her forehead was as clear and beautiful as it has always been. "Grrrrr… THAT'S IT, you're cleaning the Stanship, too!"

"But it was just a joooooke!" Akko cried while the others giggled.

"Don't make me repeat myself!"

Akko poofed and changed into a mouse with big eyes. "Pwease have mercy on me, Diana. Squeak, squeak."

"Ugh… I swear, Atsuko, sometimes I feel like you ARE from Bobopolis."