Chapter 24: {Dinner With My Girlfriend's Parents}

"I'm scared. Not of her dad, but of her mom. I've only met her twice. I've seen her multiple times, but have only talked to her twice." I say to myself while walking to her house. I bring something I made. Her dad cooks a lot, I said that I'd bring something. It's just Fettuccine Alfredo. Her mom's vegetarian so I couldn't put chicken in there.

In most cultures, it's the woman that cooks. My girlfriend though, can't cook for JACKSON OR Mississippi (a saying I heard from my Puerto Rican cousins don't ask). I don't really care, I like cooking.

Here I look like an absolute idiot carrying a large bowl of pasta walking down the street...

{Her mom's gonna be the worst I bet.}

"It's been a while DPHM since you've talked like that."

{Systems get lazy too!}

"Eh fair."

Knowing DPHM is running like crazy, I know I'm just absolutely either gonna kill this impression, or K I L L this impression.

{What's the difference?}

"Killing it is a slang for acing it, and also getting wrecked."

{I get it now. More random stuff to add to my dictionary of stupid slang terms Hyun learns from his cousins.}

My dad gets home at like 8 and knows so it's whatever. My mom's cleaning for the first time in forever (I normally do it, or my dad does), I think she wants to "enjoy" time with my dad. She normally works 6 days a week, but I guess she got the day off today. Just in case, even if I have to leave early, I'll just go to a game cafe afterwards. I don't wanna know.

"Don't come til 10 pm today. Love mom." she texted me.

{Disgusting.}

"I know!"

I finally make it there. Took about 10 minutes give or take.

I ring the electric doorbell outside the gate.

"Hello? Who the hell is this?" It's her mom it sounds like.

"Jugyeong's boyfriend." I reply while waving at the camera.

"Is this your boyfriend? I thought Hyun was the skinny gamer kid." Jugyeong's mom asked Jugyeong NEXT TO THE DOORBELL.

"No, this is my Hyun." Jugyeong replies.

"You're dating a fatty? What the hell? You're pretty, MY DAUGHTER, and your dating a walking chicharron? Is he rich at least?"

"No and? I love him. Isn't that what matters? You wouldn't know, you're here 8 days a month. I bet you already stopped loving dad and me."

"I love y'all! But I want what's best for you. Do you really think this wombat is a good man for you?"

"Even dad loves Hyun. Let him make an impression on you then."

"I'll see him try."

{Main Mission 10: Impress Jugyeong's Mom by roasting her when she berates you today. Reward: +10 CHM, +10 INT, +10 CSE, +10 FAT, +10 Skill Points. Punishment for Failure: Your girlfriend's mom won't respect you, and will be against your relationship}

"WHAT THE HELL?!" I scream at DPHM in my mind.

{This woman is a jerk. She already has no respect for you. You gotta stand up for yourself.}

"I'll try."

{Also this is main mission 10 ;) have fun brother}

I come inside.

"What did ya bring?" A tall, model-like woman that's the spitting image of Jugyeong plus some chubby cheeks, a black eye, and a few wrinkles "welcomes" me without EVEN saying hi.

"Hello Mrs. Keum, thank you for letting me into your husband and your daughter's home. I brought Fettuccine Alfredo, I made it myself. It's the authentic stuff, a fatty like me should at least know food right?" Don't ask how that came out of my mouth.

{That's a start. Not good enough though bro.}

"He heard, sounds like a snarky boy. Maybe he has a bit of guts. Not impressed yet." Mrs. Keum said to herself.

"Thanks for the tip!" I reply.

"Hey babe how are you. I told you my mom's a jerk." Jugyeong grabs me close and kisses me.

"Hi babe how are you doing? I'm doing greaaaaaaat if you know what I mean." I reply.

"Hello Mr. Keum. How are ya?! How's your 10th book coming along?" We do the broshake and everything. It's been a while since I've been to their house. But Mr. Keum is cool.

"It's doing good kid, made a half a milly off of it. I'm doin alright." He always speaks in English. I think he said his parents are from like Hong Kong which explains the English. He speaks Korean though (of course), but it's broken-ish, I dunno how they were able to change their last name to Keum. Maybe his dad spoke good Korean or something.

They're young too, don't get it twisted. Mrs. Keum is like 35 and Mr. Keum is like 34. They got married in highschool.

We sit at the table.

"You're a halfie right kid? Half Pork, Half Beef Barbecue?" Mrs. Keum says after we start eating.

"Throw in some egg and rice noodles in there and you're about right." I reply.

"You a masochist? You seem used to this like you like being called this stuff. Also look at all your bruises and that black eye. Did you get beat up?"

"MOM!" Jugyeong yells.

"It's fine. Lacrosse actually. We won. Just we had hockey masks instead to make it more dangerous. I'm not a masochist at all. You may be if you enjoy torturing yourself being away from your family, unless..."

Meanwhile Mr. Keum texts Jugyeong...

"It's getting heated. Should we stop them?"

"It's her initiation." Jugyeong replies.

"True, let's get it out of their systems. The faster they get their differences out, the faster we can have grandkids."

"Dad!"

"Oh come on neither of you can go to college, it's not like it would ruin y'all's life out of highschool."

"No comment."

(Back to Hyun)

"..." I shut that woman up.

"Dang that was genuinely good. You stood up for yourself. Respect. Hyun. Like straight up did Jugyeong tell you to act like that? I dunno, that took a pair kid. Now WORK OUT." Mrs. Keum.

{Be happy! I pushed you to prepare to be on defense mode! Take your rewards.}

"I go to the gym twice a week." I reply.

"What's your routine?"

.

.

.

It ends up being a GREAT night.

Now I know why Jugyeong is the way that she is. She's like her mom, just nicer and more of a bro, like her dad.

"Come again kid. I like you. Sorry for being a jerk." Mrs. Keum said. If Jugyeong is a 15 year old boy in a 17 year old girl's body. Mrs. Keum is a 12 year old boy in a 35 year old woman's body.

"Believe me, I'll be back." I reply.

Jugyeong told me she'd drive me home.

"Babe, thanks for coming. Also, I'm surprised you broke my mom's shell so easily." she tells me.

"She thought out loud when I made a snarky remark. That was my go ahead for having no reins to hold me back. Thanks for teaching me how to snap back. Now I know where you get it from."

"Pfffft! Hahaha yeah. That was great when you said the unless... I was like Sheeeeeesh. Yeah that woman doesn't like a buttkisser. She surprised me, I thought it was gonna be leagues harder to break that shell to be honest."

"I saw you in her. My love for you and knowledge of how you are helped me break that woman's shell. Had to get her approval you know?"

"I get you. Wait...didn't your mom want you to come back at 10? It's 9:30..."

"Yeah I'm gonna have to wait outside for a bit."

"I have a better idea...Pull your seat down~"

<Author's Note: Lots of stuff happened. But no acts of baby making or that same act protected was involved. This is a PG-10 book.>