webnovel

My Non-existent System

Are you sick of normal system novels that are all fantasy and all that? Well, that's not what this novel is! 17 year old Hyun Ferrari is an ugly, fat, tall, pizza-loving nerd boy that reads manga and webnovels and watches anime. He's always wanted to be handsome so he could attract the ladies, but he never thought it was gonna happen since he's lazy and 50 pounds overweight. He has a lot of friends though, but he gets bullied a lot since none of his friends can fight, nor he can either, except his one girl friend Jugyeong Keum, who's in the Taekwondo team at school. But one day, out of nowhere, Hyun sees a screen pop up and it says {System Start}. He thought it was like those novels that have those screens pop up and tell you to do tasks for immediate rewards like "your punches are stronger", or "your ugly black eyes are now green like your father's." Though he thinks he's getting buffs and all that, in all actuality, he's hallucinating, he's having delusions, his brain is telling him to do what he's been telling himself to do for 4 years. Work out, gain self-esteem, ask out a girl, take care of your skin, and QUIT EATING PIZZA! But since he's been ignoring it, his slightly psychotic mind decided that it had to go to desperate measures to make it happen... WARNING! THIS BOOK IS LIKE 80% DIALOGUE IF YOU HATE THAT THEN SORRY XDDDDDDD!

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60 Chs

Chapter 2: {System Start}

{SYSTEM START}

A pop-up saying those words floats in front of my face.

{Passive Mission 1: Don't Eat Garbage}

(Reward: Lose 1 pound a week for each week you don't eat pizza, other excessive carbs, or junk food)

"Woah this a sweet reward!"

[Deep Part of Hyun's Mind (DPHM) that Hyun ignores says this is just common sense]

"Let's see how long I can last." I say.

Another window pops up:

{Main Mission 1: Run to School in 9 minutes, Time Limit: 30 minutes}

(Reward: Athletic Stat +1 Bonus Reward if done on the way back home: Consistency stat +1)

"This seems easy. Like those RPG games and those really terrible Chinese novels that make a ton of cash."

"System, open my stats window!" I ask it.

{Say my full name and I will show it!}

"What is it system?"

{Dumb Pathetic Helpless Moron System. DPHM System for short. Oh yeah remember to talk to me in your mind unless you want to open your status window.}

"I don't have to say the whole thing do I?"

{Say the acronym and it'll suffice OUT LOUD}

"DPHM System, show my stats window!"

"What the hell are you talking about over there Hyun, get ready for school! You take forever to walk to school! You'll be late!" My dad yells.

{Status Window Open}

Hyun Ferrari

17 Years old

250 pounds

5'11"

Atheticism (ATC): 100

Consistency (CSY): 100

Charm (CHM): 50

Intelligence (INT): 500

Common Sense (CSE): 100

Friendability (FAT): 700

(All stats are out of 1000)

"FAT IS 700/1000 that has to be on purpose. Oh wait that's Friendability, nevermind."

I get ready for school.

My mom gets out of work at 11 so she sleeps in the mornings. My dad got some leftover p i z z a from work.

Bruh, I'm gonna have to sell it.

I run to school with my 20 pound backpack and since it's close I think I made it. Then...

{Mission Accomplished: Reward: ATC +1. Currently: ATC 101. Bonus Reward Conditions: Not met}

I make it to class sweating.

"Wow the piggy made it to class fast! Look at all that sweat! Is that gravy?" Jun messes with me.

"Yo Jun, want my pizza?" I ask him because he'll honk it down right now so I don't have the urge to eat it during passing period. It sucks that I have Jun first period, it was a positive in this case.

"The piggy doesn't wanna be a cannibal today? Okay, you only will get hit later. For being a good piggie you don't get the swirly today. Be grateful disgusting pig. Hehehe."

At least I only will get punched today. Jun hates lying so I know he's being serious.

Class starts with Mr. Jeong. I hate this dude. He's my History teacher and he gives homework, not even my math teacher gives homework.

The man annoys the hell out of me.

"Alright class, we got a pop quiz."

{Main Mission 2: Pop Quiz, Get a B or higher. Time limit: Til end of class)

(Reward: +1 INT)

Dang this is hard.

"Today you have a pop quiz on what we've been learning this week." Mr. Jeong said.

I hate Korean History.

It's on a Scantraun too.

Question 1: Which country saved our butts in the Korean War?

1. Great Britain

2. United States

3. Canada

4. All of the Above.

This one is definitely All of The Above.

I wish all the questions were like this.

A bunch of even worse questions were posted. Some I knew but most were super obscure things that he somehow expected us to remember.

I line up behind Jun of all people waiting to stick the test in for my score.

Jun got an A. Doesn't surprise me one bit, History is the only subject he likes besides P.E. I hate that I have 5 classes with this bozo.

Alright... Time to get the score....

"F! F! F! F! F! F! F! F!" Jun and his girlfriend start chanting.

DUN!

I got...

A C HECK!

{Main Mission 2: Pop Quiz, Get A B or Higher. FAILED. Punishment: You have to ask to work 5 hours instead of 4 hours today}

"A PUNISHMENT? You didn't say anything about a punishment." I say in my mind.

{Dude I thought you read those bad Chinese or Korean System Novels you fat moron? You should know that there's mostly a punishment when you mess up!}

"What happens if I don't do it?" I ask.

{I'll torment you with pop-ups in your dreams til you piss your pants}

"Fine."

So after school today I have to go to work for 5 hours.

Ring!

Time to go to second period.

I go to the restroom (what's wrong with me?)

"Heyyyy Hyun."

DANGIT IT'S JUN!

"Like I said, you only get punched today." Jun said. This man is more annoying than intimidating but his punches hit like a truck.

He punched me really hard in the stomach, then slapped me for good measure.

"Dang that hit like a truck."

I walk into second period holding my stomach.

"Did Jun get you?" Jugyeong asked me.

"Yeah... Heck." I say.

"Need a hug? Just Kidding."

"Messed up, taunting, teasing, and not that twisted. Good joke."

She hugs me anyway, then slaps me.

Jugyeong is like this with all her friends. She's one of those touchy feely friends that's also slightly messed up sometimes.

Class starts and oh god.

Pain of English class. At least there's no Jun.

The hunger aches at me the whole period.

Same with the the next period and fourth period.

At lunch, I can't buy chili bread, so I decided to eat a salad. Can't eat excessive carbs.

Thankfully we have a salad bar at school. Perfect. They at least have ham and zero calorie vinaigrette. It was only like a thousand won.

I get a HUGE salad.

"No way you're eating rabbit food Hyun!" Suho exclaims.

"I'm trying to lose a few pounds."

"So you don't want pizza?"

"How about you buy me a carnivore double burger with a lettuce bun from Bad Blue Jay, I'm just cutting my carbs a bit."

"YOU'RE GOING KETO?" The whole group asks. Even Jugyeong is surprised.

"I'm not cutting fruit, just cutting refined carbs." I reply.

"No offense bro, but you're not lasting more than a week." Suho says.

"If I was born with your metabolism, I wouldn't have to."

"Yeah I hit the jackpot."

"Don't rub it in."

"Hey wanna go to the arcade today after school before your shift?" Jugyeong asks.

"I gotta work 5 hours today, gotta get there 30 minutes early."

"Dangit! Alright I'll just do homework at the restaurant."

"Sorry."

"It's fine."

Dowoon kicks me. He knows I like Jugyeong. He likes her too, but he likes a lot of girls. Suho doesn't wanna date anyone currently. He told me like a year ago that if he ever falls for a girl, he'd cry because he wants to become famous before he thinks about it.

Jugyeong says that she just likes a dude that's her friend. The problem is, all her friends (which includes me) are dudes.

We mess around, act like jerks to each other, and talk like friends do.

I go to 5th and 6th period.

Then I run home to complete the mission. And call my dad to let me work 5 hours today. The window didn't pop up so I didn't get a buff to my consistency stat.

Then I get to work... Man I wish we didn't get Wednesday off over Saturday at school...

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