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MMORPG: Rise of the Primordial Godsmith

Autor: TrueDawn
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  • 4.4
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"All I need is a second chance..." "A second chance to make things right." Watching the world in front of him crumble before his very eyes, Valyr felt immense regret. He and his comrades made sure to prepare for every possible mishap, for every possible thing that could've gone wrong... yet in the end, their side still lost. Feeling his consciousness slip away from him, the young man screamed out into the heavens, wishing at his dying moment to get a second chance. A second chance to make things right. Thankfully, the heavens responded. Sending him back into the world where everything began, Valyr was reborn as an NPC of Greater Beyond a year before the game went live. Armed with all of the knowledge he'd gained from his past life, as well as the goal of not wanting the past to repeat itself, he was going to make sure they won the final battle this time, stopping at nothing to achieve it. Though, before he could do that, he'd first have to pick up the path he ventured in the past. ---------- Feel free to join the Discord: https://discord.gg/FU7fdYwaau

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Tabla de contenidos
Volumen 0 :Auxiliary Volume
Volumen 1 :Version 0.01a | Version 0.1b
Volumen 2 :Version 0.5D
Volumen 3 :Version 1.0

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TrueDawn

TrueDawn

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TrueDawn
TrueDawnAutor

(This review has been made after I posted Chapter 315.) Hey there. It's been almost six months since I've started writing this novel, so I think it's about due time for me to give another review to this novel from my perspective. Of course, if you take a look at the latest reviews I've gotten, you'd see that a great portion of them say that MC acts incredibly cowardly and newbie-like for someone who has a lot of experience, with some of them even talking about how I rely on a certain phrase a lot of the time (the phrase in question is "could not help but"). From this point onward, there's a possibility that I might spoil a few things about the story, which I would like to apologize in advance for. However, I'll still try my best to not spoil it. First and foremost, let me talk about my reliance on a few key phrases, with the most glaring one you'd find while reading the story is the counter for "could not help but" in the paragraph comments. Then again, there are a few other key phrases I tend to use as a crutch throughout the novel, but let me point out that English is not my first language. Aside from that, I've taken a great portion of the inputs you've given me, which I sincerely appreciate, and have varied my usage of words ever since. From Chapter 200 onwards, rarely has the "could not help but" phrase ever been used. But alas, reviews mentioning it still pop up, so I guess worrying about is useless in the end. Moving on from that, let's talk about the MC's personality at the beginning of the novel. Similar to the active change I've made towards the omission of the usage of certain phrases, I've also taken action towards changing the MC's personality outright at Chapter 115 into something that was more in line with what people expect from someone with a lot of experience. But once again, I still get reviews about how they don't like MC's personality at the beginning and how they call him multiple names under the sun. Believe me when I say I've already taken note of it and that I am planning to rewrite the beginning of the story once I graduate college (which would happen hopefully a few months after I post this review). I'm not oblivious towards MC's personality at the beginning, especially if I know why he acts like that in the first place. In the end, I just wanted to make this review to tell everyone who is reading and who is planning to read this novel a couple of things. For those who have read my novel up to the latest chapter and are continuing to read it, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. And for those who are planning to pick up the book from the title and the synopsis, just keep an open mind. It's part of the reason why I made at least 90 chapters of the novel free, after all. Of course, I'd like it if you get to around Chapter 115 at the very least, but I won't hold it against you if you don't. Once again, I would like to thank everyone who has given me support and constructive criticism of what I've been writing thus far, making me realize that I still have a lot to improve on. I hope you enjoy the journey the novel shall take you on. (This review shall be removed once the beginning of the story has been rewritten to fit the overall narrative better.)

nebula
nebulaLv13

Disclaimer- review made at chapter 200 Pretty good so far. Doesn't excel at anything in particular, but very solid in every aspect. writing quality: 4* Good. I mean, there's not much more to say. No glaring issues, decent VSPaG. Not mind-blowing enough for 5 stars, but more than enough for a Webnovel. Story development: 4* Excellent so far. Relatively slow paced, but always interesting and has an overarching plot that is starting to come into play now. Character design: 4* This is a weird one. Sometimes the characters are weird and behave slightly awkwardly compared to previously, while other times I (mentally) squeal in delight due to a surprising but great decision to add a new dimension to a character or give them a closure that they need in a story like this. Overall though, the reason the book scores well despite its inconsistencies is the linking of characters we met previously with new plot points, which works superbly. The obvious example is the MC discovering his new body's past, but other examples include the village leader and the dungeon, as well as one of the MC's quests with the first person he meets after his "reincarnation". updating stability: 5* Honestly just great. I give big props to anyone that can consistently release a chapter a day every day of the week, and doubling that just impresses me further. World background: 4* This is 4* due to the story still being in its nascent stages. What we have seen so far is pretty standard, but interesting nonetheless. We have the growing village, the nearby biomes and other villages leading to a few larger towns, and then a capital city further away with currently unknown expanses on the way. Politically, we know of the crown and the larger families plus a small insight into some of their allies and enemies. At the moment, the monsters are quite underdeveloped background-wise, to the point some readers questioned the morality of killing them, but I at least trust the author has a plan in this aspect. Overall, great read, and I recommend it so far if this genre is your sort of thing. I will try to answer any questions people may have if I see them, and sorry if my review seems too surface-level; in actuality I'm mainly doing this to get to 10 reviews for level for of the comment badge.

LightNovelEnjoyer
LightNovelEnjoyerLv11

I enjoy when a story isn't rushed and when it's well written, and these certainly apply to this story. It is eloquently worded and it spends much time on describing the interactions between characters as well as the thoughts of the main character. These are both the book's greatest strenths and weaknesses in my opinion. To illustrate this I will write two lines essentially describing the same thing: -"He could not help but allow the lurking smile at the back of his mind grow on his face as he expressed the feeling his thoughts gave him" -"He smiled at the thought" I enjoy these lengthy descriptions... but not when the book is full of them. Most of the descriptions are like the first option, and I got tired of it pretty quickly. The phrase "could not help but" is also unnecessarily abused to an almost hilarious degree. While I certainly cannot fault the author on their english, I wish they would consider the time to use these dragged out ways to say things that could be short and concise. Which brings me to my second point, the pacing. Dear lord is the pacing slow, which I also enjoy at times, but only if we get some action in between. Those who have read the book may be thinking "wasn't the monster wave enough action?" and to that I say, it should have been half as lengthy and have more fighting rather than pointless dialogue. Also, the monsters are literally only described as that, 'monsters'. Nothing is said about how the regular monsters look in the first couple of chapters of the fight. I'd say, give the book a chance, those of the same opinion as me regarding pacing and language will quickly realize it isn't for them, and for the less picky, I believe you will enjoy it. It certainly isn't bad by any means, but I will not be reading more than 60 chapters of it. Hope you can take some of the criticism to heart and improve author, flaws aside I think you have a good story in you.

valor_shark
valor_sharkLv14

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