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In Marvel with the Perfect Body...

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  • 36 Caps
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  • 4.0
    36 valoraciones
  • NO.200+
    APOYOS
Resumen

I woke up in a new body in a weird universe, that's all, with some boons... EDIT: This story is SLOW-PACED, and WILL be a harem. However, and don't expect a dumb harem story either. WARNING: NO ORIGINAL WORKS MENTIONED IN THIS STORY ARE OWNED BY ME OTHER THAN MY ORIGINAL CHARACTER. I AM JUST A CREATIVE GUY USING THE STORY IN A CREATIVE WAY. ALL RIGHTS TO THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNERS, RESPECTIVELY?

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Bebells
BebellsLv10

Enormiity
EnormiityLv4

This is written after the tenth chapter of this story. TLDR: Not Recommended, No World-Building, Bad System and Character Design, The Story practically jumps from plot point to plot point.•••••Now The Long Part•••••The Writing is Okay, It's Readable but it has no story flow overall 3/5 so far.••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••Character Design, the MC is supposed to be smart but he is not, he barely has any common sense especially since he is formerly a 30-year-old adult, he feels bad after beating up someone who assaulted him, does something extract but expects people to think that is normal, the System is non Consistent so far just pick Metric or Imperial and use one for the whole system. Overall 1/5 bland dum-dum MC that is supposed to be "smart".••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••Story Development, there is practically no "actual" story so far, for those 10 chapters the story just jumps from one plot to another with practically no connection in between. There is also no Chapter Title in this story which will be annoying to navigate later.••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••The world background is nonexistent, The MC is supposed to be in America (Marvel version) but the "world" in the story doesn't feel like the USA (Free Hospital bills by the government after someone found the MC half-dead, they didn't even question the MC why he is beaten up or check some CCTV footage or whatever)(The MC (Minor) just talks to some construction worker and works there for a day without any work permit (non-existent law system)). I usually don't care but this story does it so badly.

PeaceBeforeImpact
PeaceBeforeImpactLv15
EnoughIsAWord
EnoughIsAWordLv4

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