5

Over the next few days, the "getting easier" part that Sirius had been anticipating from the very beginning finally started to set in. Two things were happening. For one, Sirius was beginning to get a better feeling for Harry's moods, and secondly, he felt that Harry was starting to trust him more and more. Harry was still petrified of making mistakes – it helped that Sirius knew that that was what it was now – but when something went wrong, it was getting increasingly easier to talk him out of panicking. Sirius considered that a huge win, even if he felt there was still a very long way to go.

Other than that, things had fallen into a routine. While Harry was at school, Sirius kept up building work on the house. It was slightly boring in its monotony but satisfying also, being able to look at what he had accomplished every day. Moony worked at the factory, preferably night or early shifts that let him spent the afternoons with Harry.

The definite downside of things calming down was that it seemed to trigger Sirius' nightmares to return for the first time since Harry had moved in with them. Between that and his release from Azkaban, he had had one every couple of nights, most not bad enough to wake him up but all utterly disconcerting.

There had been one that involved aurors coming to the house to take him away, saying that there had been a mistake and he had been found guilty after all and sentenced to life in Azkaban. He had been struggling and screaming that he was innocent but nobody had heard. He dreamed that he was trapped, he dreamed about Peter turning into a rat as Sirius stood immobile, unable to move, while the walls seemed to close in around him.

He hated those dreams with a passion, the only consolation being that they were yet to occur when Harry slept in his bed, which was the case every few nights.

'You look tired,' remarked Moony the following Saturday over breakfast.

Sirius had decided to keep up the daytrip tradition and after last week's visit to the sea, Harry had – after a considerable amount of prompting and coaxing – very carefully asked if they might go to the cinema. Sirius had agreed instantly, even before knowing what a cinema was, exactly. It had been Moony who had pointed out that watching a movie of about an hour and a half was not enough to fill the entire day, so he suggested making it into a day out in muggle London and ending it with a visit to the cinema. Harry had nodded eagerly.

'I'm fine,' muttered Sirius back, having little desire to talk about a confusing dream that had ended with Peter turning him, Moony and Harry into rats before blowing them up, along with most of the kids from Harry's school. He was particularly unwilling to discuss it in front of Harry.

Moony fixed him with a doubtful look and Sirius knew that he would ask again. Harry, too, seemed to have noticed that something was off, but he – unlike Moony – was likely to drop the matter.

Sirius forced himself to smile at Harry who was only able to resist him for a few seconds before the corners of his mouth wandered upwards, too. That, in turn, brought a genuine grin to Sirius' face.

Their venture into the muggle world was utterly fascinating, especially since Moony suggested visiting the Science Museum, which showed all sorts of funny things muggles had come up with. Sirius earned himself some curious looks since some of the questions he asked Moony seemed to be common knowledge for muggles but since it made Harry chuckle, he kept it up anyway – he did not mind making a fool of himself for Harry's amusement. Moony was only so much help so they ended up reading the explanations next to the exhibits that appeared to be aimed at children but were nonetheless very informative – for a wizard, at least.

They caught the early evening showing of a kids' movie. Sirius had made sure to ask the teenager at the counter that it was not scary – he had no interest in a repeat of the ghost train incident – and was assured that it was not even remotely frightening. This turned out to be true. The film – the name of which Sirius promptly forgot – featured only moving drawings of animals talking in funny voices, making for very little suspense. Sirius found it entertaining enough, mainly because the experience of watching a movie on a huge screen instead of a tiny vellyvision was enough to hold his interest.

'Good day?' asked Sirius once they had settled on Harry's bed that night, getting ready to read a chapter from a book of Harry's choice.

Harry smiled. 'Yeah,' he said. Then, his face fell a little. 'You know… We don't have to keep doing that if you don't want to. Even Dudley… I mean, I don't… You don't have to.' He squirmed.

'Would you rather be doing something else?' asked Sirius. He recognised Harry's expression as one of those times when he was not quite able to put what he wanted to say into words. He had found that prompting him to give more details tended to work.

Harry shook his head. 'I just… You… You really don't have to…'

'I know I don't have to but why wouldn't I want to go on daytrips with you?'

'I…' Harry struggled for words. 'It's… You… It's expensive,' he finally burst out. From his tone, Sirius could tell that this was what he was worried about. Harry continued, the words stumbling over one another, 'You already bought me clothes and give me food and everything. You don't have to…'

Sirius decided to interrupt. He had gotten the point. 'I've got enough money, you don't need to worry about that,' he assured Harry. 'Besides, I'm having a lot of fun, too. I'd never been to see a movie before.'

'Really?'

'Yes, really. I promise, alright?'

A careful smile appeared on Harry's face. Sirius grinned when he saw it since it meant that Harry had believed him, and very quickly this time. It always filled him with a great sense of accomplishment to see that Harry trusted him even if he knew that this particular worry was not done with for good and that they would probably have that same conversation again soon. It was better than half an hour's worth of coaxing and reassurances until Harry finally believed that he was not lying.

Harry leaned against his godfather's shoulder and Sirius found the bookmark and began to read.

'Do you think they can save Uncle Quentin?' asked Harry when Sirius finished.

Sirius shrugged and tucked him in. He thought it unlikely that the book would have a bad ending. 'Probably.'

Harry did not seem satisfied by the answer.

'Well, if you can't wait, you can finish the book tonight and tell me how it ended tomorrow morning,' Sirius suggested. There was only one chapter left. Also, this might prove an opportunity not to sit with Harry until he fell asleep. He knew that they would have to break out of that habit eventually. While Harry very much deserved to be pampered and Sirius would never deny him that kind of affection, eight was too old for that, really. He would be off to Hogwarts in just a few short years, all on his own…

'I can?' asked Harry, bringing Sirius back to their conversation.

He laughed and passed him the book. 'Go on. I'll be downstairs if you need me.' He kissed Harry's forehead. 'Sleep well.'

'Sleep well,' echoed Harry.

Moony was sitting on the sofa in the living room, reading as so often. 'Another good day?' he guessed as Sirius joined him.

'I think so,' answered Sirius. 'Though I'm afraid that if I say I'm getting the hang of this, everything will go downhill.'

Moony chuckled and changed the subject. 'So, why didn't you sleep last night?'

Sirius scowled at him. 'I did sleep.'

Moony sighed and raised his hands in a gesture of defeat. 'I'm not forcing you to talk about it. I'm just offering an ear should you find yourself wanting one.'

Sirius remained silent and Moony went back to his book. Sirius grabbed the Daily Prophet and tried to get started on the crossword but found that he could no concentrate. 'Nightmares,' he admitted finally, throwing the paper onto the coffee table in frustration. 'But you already knew that.' It was hardly difficult to guess. 'And you also know about what.' Every witch and wizard in Britain who had picked up a copy of the Daily Prophet within the last month would know what he was having nightmares about.

Moony lowered his book and nodded thoughtfully. He was no stranger to nightmares, had had quite a few nasty ones when they had first gone to school. Moony had always dreamt about the full moon, about being bitten or losing control and biting someone else. 'Since when?'

'A few days,' answered Sirius, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes. 'Had one on Tuesday, one on Thursday and one last night.'

'And not before?'

'Not since Harry came here. I suppose I was distracted.'

Moony frowned. 'Dreamless Sleep?' he suggested uncertainly but Sirius guessed that he already knew the answer he was going to get. The potion was highly addictive and therefore only really to be used in desperate situations.

'I'm fine. I can still sleep, just… It just sucks.'

Moony sighed. 'Wake me up,' he told him. 'I'll sit with you, I don't mind.'

'Thanks.' Sirius knew that he would not wake Moony. His job had him doing nightshifts fairly regularly and he could use all the sleep he could get. Still, he was genuinely thankful for the offer. He liked to know that someone was willing to look out for him

-oOo-

Harry grinned at him from where he sat on Lily's lap, his pudgy little hands chasing the bubbles that Sirius' wand was emitting. Lily smiled and kissed the little head that was covered in a cloud of unruly black hair.

'He loves that,' she said. 'Where'd you learn?'

'Frank showed me,' Sirius answered. 'He says it's early training, hand-eye coordination. It's important for Quidditch. He says Neville will be a star chaser.'

Lily scowled but laughed anyway.

'Then we'll have to make sure that Harry's better,' Prongs interjected, slumping down on the sofa next to Lily. 'Harry's definitely got an advantage. Alice doesn't allow Neville on a broom.'

'Very sensible of her,' said Lily. 'They can't even walk yet!'

Prongs laughed and tickled Harry's belly. The little boy squealed happily and almost threw himself out of Lily's hold and onto his father's lap. 'Dada!'

James caught him with practiced ease. 'Who's gonna be a star chaser?' he asked and blew a raspberry against Harry's stomach. Harry laughed again.

'Who's gonna be a star chaser?' James asked again and repeated the game, once, twice, three times. Sirius watched in amusement, Lily with fond exasperation.

James laughed and passed Harry to Sirius. 'Look after him, will you?' he asked.

Sirius looked down into those big green eyes in the young face. Harry gave another squeal of delight. 'Pfoo!' he said.

'Padfoot,' corrected Sirius.

'Pfoo!'

Sirius shrugged. 'Well, it's better than "Moomoo", isn't it? Don't you think, Prongs?' He looked up to find the sofa opposite empty. Harry fell silent. 'Prongs?' he called.

There was no answer. He stood up and looked around frantically for his best friend. He was cold. The previously sunlit sitting room had gotten dark, shadows moving around him.

Suddenly, there was a voice behind him. 'It's your fault.'

Sirius spun around. Prongs was standing in the door to the hall. Behind him, a body lay sprawled on the ground at the bottom of the staircase, red hair like a puddle around her head. 'Prongs?' asked Sirius tentatively.

'It was you,' said Prongs. 'It was you who convinced us to take Peter. I didn't want to but you talked me into it. It was your fault.'

'No!' argued Sirius. 'Please, Prongs, I didn't mean… Please!'

'You failed me. You didn't look after Harry, like you promised. You gave him away, let him be taken. Do you know what they did to him, Padfoot? It was all your fault. You should have been there for him, you should have looked after him. Everything they did to him is your fault! You could have prevented it.'

'I'm sorry! Please, I didn't mean to! I wanted to catch Peter! I wanted to catch him and then I would have come back for Harry!'

'But you didn't,' said Prongs mercilessly. 'You never did come back.' His face transformed as he spoke, it became younger, the eyes turned green. His voice changed to a child's. 'You should have protected me!'

'I wanted to! Harry, I'm sorry!' Sirius sank to his knees in front of him, trying hug him, but Harry pushed him away.

'You made me trust you but it's your fault that Mum and Dad are dead. You can never make up for that! You can never be as good as them!'

'Harry, please!'

'I hate you, Sirius!'

'It was your fault!' That was Prongs' voice again, towering over him in the darkness.

'You promised you'd protect him,' said Lily. 'I thought you loved him.'

'I do. Lily, please!'

'Sirius!'

'It was your fault!'

'I hate you!'

'You're not my father!'

'Prongs!'

'Wake up!'

'Please!'

'You're not my brother!'

'Sirius!'

'You're just like your family after all. I thought you seemed all right.'

'You should have told me!'

'No, please!'

'I trusted you!'

'Sirius!'

'Harry, please, please, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!'

'Sirius, please, wake up, please!'

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to!'

'Harry?'

'He won't wake up.'

'Sirius?' said another voice. That one did not sound angry and accusing, just anxious.

Sirius was drenched in sweat, panting. As he struggled to remember where he was, he realised that he was in Azkaban, a dementor in front of his cell. They always made him see them, his friends, his family. They always shouted at him but it was almost worth it, just to see their faces.

'I'm innocent,' he whispered into the cold. 'I'm innocent.'

James, Lily, Harry… What he would give to see them. What he would give to talk to… Just as he thought about it, Harry's face appeared before him and he instinctively reached out for it. He expected it to disappear at the touch, but it stayed where it was. That was new. He had never been able to touch his illusions before. Perhaps he was going mad after all? Then again, if this was madness, he should have given into it years ago. 'I'm sorry,' he whispered. 'Harry, I'm so sorry.'

'It's okay,' answered Harry. His voice was shaking. He was crying. He reached out a hand to touch Sirius' face in turn. He was warm and Sirius closed his eyes, more tears rolling over his cheeks.

'It's my fault,' he whispered.

'Sirius?'

Sirius' head snapped up, towards the voice. Moony. He made to scramble backwards, his hands raised. 'Moony, please, I didn't do it! Please, you have to listen, it wasn't me, we swapped! I'm innocent! Peter…'

'I know,' interrupted Moony, stepping closer, sinking onto the bed next to Harry. 'It's a nightmare, Padfoot. You were just dreaming.'

Sirius shook his head. He did not want them to be a dream. 'No, I don't want to be alone. I don't want you to leave.'

'I'm not leaving.' That was Harry again.

'Sirius, we're real. You're not alone.' Moony's hair was tousled, like he had just gotten up. He was wearing pyjamas.

'Harry?'

Harry's glasses were askew, his hair even messier than usual. He was in nightclothes, too, the blue pyjamas with what Harry had told him was a row-bot on the front that Sirius had bought for him. Had bought for him… Memories came streaming back. Not a dream… They were not illusions, they were real. He raised a shaking hand to remove the hair that was sticking to his forehead. They were sitting on his bed, in his room, in the house he had bought.

Harry looked stricken, terrified. Moony had a hand on his shoulder, ready to pull him out of harm's way. He was watching Sirius apprehensively, obviously unsure what he would do next. It was understandable, Sirius supposed.

'I was dreaming,' he said, letting Moony know that he had returned to reality. 'Nightmare. I'm awake now.' His voice was not nearly as steady as he hoped. It cracked and his throat hurt. Had he been screaming?

Moony nodded and relaxed, letting go of Harry who instantly threw himself forwards, arms around Sirius' neck. Sirius hugged him automatically.

'I'm sorry,' he whispered, trying not to sound like he had in the dream. 'Did I wake you up?'

Harry nodded.

'I didn't mean to scare you.'

Harry's only answer was a choked sob into Sirius' shoulder. Sirius repressed a curse. Why did he always have to make a mess of things?

'Sirius?'

He looked up to find Moony who still looked worried. 'I'm sorry. That… That was bad.'

'Was that what it was like in Azkaban?' asked Moony.

Sirius nodded. 'The dementors, they…' He shivered, unable to explain.

Moony still seemed to understand, however. He raised his wand and a moment later, a bar of chocolate came flying into the room. He tore off the paper and offered a large chunk to Sirius who did not hesitate to push it into his mouth. It helped a little but Prongs' words still echoed in his head.

Harry clinging to him was both reassuring and worrying. He hated to think that he had upset Harry so much but he took great comfort in holding him. He was warm, so warm.

'You should change,' said Moony after a few minutes of silence. 'Take a shower and put on new clothes.'

'I'm fine.'

'You're shaking.'

Sirius was surprised to find that he was right. The wet fabric of his nightclothes clung to his skin, making him freeze.

'Harry?' asked Moony.

Harry lifted his head.

'I need to get changed,' said Sirius, taking over from Moony. He knew that Harry would not let go because someone else told him to. 'Moony will look after you, alright?'

Harry considered him cautiously but let go and scooted backwards to Moony who rubbed his back. Harry leaned into the touch and Moony slung and arm around him. Harry was firmly enclosed in a hug by the time Sirius had pulled spare pyjamas from his wardrobe.

When he returned a few minutes later, dry and no longer sticky, Moony had changed the sheets and made the bed. He and Harry were still sitting on it, both lifting their heads as he entered. Sirius felt worlds better even if he was still shaking a little. He slid under his duvet, trying to rectify that.

Harry crawled over almost instantly. 'May I stay tonight?' he asked.

'Of course.' Sirius threw back the duvet so that Harry could join him.

Harry snuggled into his side and was so exhausted that he fell asleep within minutes. Moony was still perched on the bed.

'What did you tell him?' asked Sirius quietly.

Moony sighed. 'I think he got the gist by himself. I said that the prison you were at is a place that makes people think horrible things and that you'll still do sometimes because you were there for that long. He asked why you kept apologising.' He threw Sirius a rueful look. 'And I said he should ask you. I thought you'd rather explain yourself.'

Sirius nodded. 'Yeah…' he muttered. 'I'm not that keen on explaining that.'

'He loves you, Padfoot.'

'Only makes it worse, doesn't it? I should have told him before… before he started to.'

Moony shook his head. 'He's eight, Padfoot. He needs a father more than absolute honesty. Besides, he won't blame you. Neither would Prongs and Lily, for that matter. All you ever did was try to keep them safe, we all know that.'

'I know. Just… sometimes… They might still be alive if I had acted differently.'

Moony shrugged. 'They might be. Or we would all be dead. There's no way of knowing how things would have worked out. For all we know, it could be much, much worse.'

Sirius nodded, his eyes on Harry. 'Is it wrong that I'm glad that I've got him?' That was a question he would not have asked had he not been so shaken and tired. It was a worry he barely liked to admit to himself.

'Of course not. You didn't take him from them, Padfoot. You're doing exactly what they would want you to.'

Harry sighed in his sleep and Sirius stroked his hair. 'I'm not so sure that this is what they wanted.'

'They wanted you to be whole and happy,' admitted Moony. 'But for your sake just as much as for Harry's.'

Sirius nodded.

'Padfoot, seven years in Azkaban… I think I'd've gone mental within a week. It's going to leave traces and nobody could possibly expect you to walk out of there the way you went in. So, for Merlin's sake, Padfoot, whatever you do, please let me help, alright? Raising a kid on your own is hard even under the best circumstances, and you don't have to. I meant what I said. I'd to anything to help, for you and for Harry.'

-oOo-

When Sirius woke up, Harry was gone and the sun shining into his room told him that it had to be at least mid-morning. Confused as to why he had slept through his alarm, he made to venture downstairs to look for Harry. He did not get that far, however. Moony stuck his head out of his bedroom as Sirius made his way along the hall.

'Good morning.'

'Morning,' answered Sirius. 'Where's Harry?'

Moony leaned against his doorframe. 'I took him to school. He tried to wake you but you slept like a log, so we decided to let you.'

Sirius nodded. The compassionate looks Moony was sending him told him that the events of last night had sadly not been just another nightmare. 'Was he okay?'

'He was worried about you but I think he was coping. He was talking to me and he ate something, so if that's any indication…'

Sirius nodded, relieved.

'I said you'd pick him up. That'll be okay, right?'

'I'm not an invalid!' snapped Sirius and instantly regretted it. 'Sorry.' He was angry at himself, not Moony. 'Look, I just want to be okay. Things are hard enough without me waking Harry in the middle of the night.'

Moony sighed. 'No point crying over spilled potion.'

Sirius scowled, hating that Moony was right. He could not undo what had happened. Nevertheless, maybe a silencing charm tomorrow night would be a good start… 'I'll get breakfast,' he muttered, extricating himself from the conversation.

He was early to pick up Harry. He was on his own as Moony had had to leave for work just after lunch. Harry came running towards him, like he always did, only this time did he not throw himself into Sirius' arms. Sirius' heart dropped to his stomach.

'Hello,' said Harry. He was visibly nervous, apprehensive even. Sirius could not quite tell if he was scared, too.

Sirius sank down onto one knee to be level with him.

'Are you okay?' asked Harry.

Sirius nodded. 'I'm so sorry,' he muttered. 'I'm so sorry that I made you worry. I'm fine. It was just a nightmare.' They location was hardly ideal and Sirius knew that his words would seem odd to the parents walking past them on the sidewalk. Still, he had different priorities.

Harry slung his arms around Sirius' neck.

'I never meant to scare you like that. I'm sorry.'

'It's okay,' answered Harry. 'I have nightmares, too, sometimes.'

'I know.' He held him tightly. 'I know. I'm still sorry I made you scared, though.'

'I think you were more scared than me.'

Sirius let go of Harry and stared at him in surprise. He had not expected such an observation. 'I was very scared,' he admitted, and he had been. Terrified, in fact. People were gawking at them. 'Come on, let's get going.' He had stopped asking whether Harry wanted to stick around and play with the other kids. So far, he had always gotten a negative answer.

Harry was silently watching him on their way home.

'You can ask,' Sirius reminded him after a while. 'You can always ask me anything and I promise I won't lie to you.'

Harry bit his lip. He looked like he was debating whether to say something or not. Sirius did not push. If Harry was not ready to ask, then he was not ready to hear the answer and Sirius would hate himself for exposing him to the story any earlier than he had to. Also, Sirius supposed that Harry might feel that any questions he had were rather personal, seeing as Sirius had been in tears last night.

In the end, whatever the reason, Harry remained silent on the issue and Sirius was more than content to wait until he changed his mind, feeling that the longer that took, the better.

As the days passed, the end of October drew nearer and with it came another full moon. It fell on a Tuesday, the last week before Harry's half term holiday. Still struggling with nightmares, Sirius had taken to grabbing an additional hour or two of sleep after lunch, before picking Harry up from school. It was hardly ideal but it worked well enough.

Gathering from what he told Sirius and Moony, Harry was now quite content to go to school. Sirius did not suppose he was dreading the holidays, exactly, but he went to his lessons without any signs of distress and was happy to tell Sirius and Moony about his days – funny things that had happened in class, what he had had for lunch and so on.

After the homework incident, Harry had reluctantly approached Moony again with another question and over the next week had taken to doing his work at the kitchen table with Moony sitting by his side whenever the latter was not working the late shift. Sirius was still struggling to keep up with everything but as far as he could tell, Harry was faring well.

'I can't stay here,' Moony announced to Sirius on Sunday night after Harry was in bed. 'If Harry's in the house, I'll be able to smell him and the wolf will want to bite – you wouldn't be able to distract it and if you tried, I'd probably hurt you. Besides, if you're in the room with me, that'd be like leaving Harry on his own all night. We can't do that.'

Sirius hated it but saw no way around that reasoning. He had been telling himself that Harry had first priority and now for the first time that meant having to make a sacrifice. 'I'm sorry, Moony,' he said. 'I wish it were different.'

'I know. Don't beat yourself up about this, Padfoot. You're doing the right thing.'

So Moony left them after dinner on the last Tuesday evening in October. He was headed for a sealed and guarded area kept by the Ministry that was home to a prison where werewolves were held who had in the past attacked or killed humans. On full moon nights, additional werewolves were admitted, to be locked in until the next morning.

The simple fact that Moony refused to talk about the place made him assume the worst. It had been introduced after the first war to keep werewolves in check, mostly those who had chosen to follow Greyback. Sirius was doubtful about how effective it was concerning that aim. Greyback and his pack lived far off from civilisation, out of the Ministry's reach and were therefore largely unaffected by it.

Moony was not legally required to spend the full moon nights there, luckily. That was due to the fact that he had a sparkly clean slate. The Ministry liked to make it obligatory for any werewolf they could possibly force into it, even with the most threadbare justifications. Moony had told him about someone who had been picked up by law enforcement for leaving the Leaky Cauldron without paying his tab – adding up to a galleon and five sickles of stolen goods and completely unrelated to his being a werewolf.

"They're looking for excuses," Moony had said wearily when Sirius had gotten angry. "They haven't been able to pin anything on me yet, thank Merlin." He had sighed. "It's alright at the moment. Greyback's been quiet, so the fear isn't as present in most people's minds. I just hope it stays that way – I trust it on the Ministry to make it illegal to stay away if they think it'll get them the public's approval."

Sirius was up before dawn, waiting for the return of his friend. He had prepared food for him, even if he was not sure whether he would be strong enough to eat. Moony arrived looking like hell. He had suffered a wound to the head and a scratch across his face but judging from the way he held his arm and the fact that he was limping, that was not the worst of it.

'What the hell happened to you? I thought you didn't hurt yourself when you had company. You told me werewolf didn't attack each other!'

'They do if they can't stand you,' explained Moony, leaning against the wall for support and leaving a few smudges of blood on the blue paint. His eyes closed. 'They don't separate the wolves. You know they see me as a traitor. There's a lot of animosity in that place.'

'Merlin's bollocks, Moony. Why the hell would you even go there if it's like that?'

'It keeps me locked up.'

Sirius wanted to pursue the topic but was distracted by a noise from the stairs. Harry was crouching behind the banisters, watching and listening.

Moony spotted him, too. 'Don't worry, Harry,' he said, attempting to smile, but only managed a pained grimace. 'I'll be as good as new in a few hours.' Sirius was not sure how much good that statement did – seeing as it was mostly a groan, despite Moony's best efforts.

'Go back to your room, please, Harry. I'll be with you in a minute.' Harry disappeared and Sirius turned back to Moony with a whisper. 'We're not done talking about this,' he let him know. 'Now, let's get you to bed, or do you want to eat first?'

'Bed.'

Sirius slung Moony's good arm around his shoulders and supported him on the way up the stairs. He was half-unconscious when Sirius laid him on the bed. He vanished Moony's clothes and began to bandage his wounds. He would not be able to heal them with magic as they were cursed. For non-infected people, wounds like this took weeks or months to heal if they ever closed at all but in Moony, the lycanthropy would accelerate the process. He would be left with more scars but in the past, he had always been back to normal within a few days.

'Ferula,' Sirius muttered one last time, adding a bandage to stop the wound to Moony's head from bleeding. He had not had to do this in years but he knew he would never forget how to patch up his friend. He covered him with a blanket – he was completely out cold now – and stepped out into the hall. He closed the door to Moony's room, feeling that there was no need for Harry to see just how bad Moony's wounds were.

As he had been working, his mind had been busy trying to find a different solution for the next month but he banished all those plans from his mind now in exchange for wondering what to tell Harry. He did not know about Moony being a werewolf yet. Moony had been against telling him even though Sirius had assured him that it would not affect Harry's opinion of him. Until now, he had respected that but things had changed.

He stepped across the hall and into Harry's bedroom. Harry was sitting on his bed cross-legged, his blanket around his shoulders.

'I'm sorry for listening,' was the first thing he said.

'Don't worry, we're not angry,' said Sirius, sitting down next to him.

'Is Remus going to be okay?' His voice was shaking a little.

'Yes, he'll be fine.'

'What happened to him? Did someone mug him?'

Sirius smiled sadly and slung an arm around Harry. 'No, nobody mugged him. Harry, do you know what last night was?'

Harry shook his head.

'It was a full moon. Do you know anything special that happens on a full moon?'

Harry thought about this. 'I'm not sure… People sleepwalk and… there's wolves and…'

'What kind of wolves?' prompted Sirius.

'Werewolves, people who turn into wolves at the full…'He fell silent, realising what Sirius had been wanting to say. 'Remus… Was he attacked by a werewolf?'

Sirius shook his head. Technically, Harry was right but he had missed the most crucial point. 'He is a werewolf, Harry.' It felt wrong to share this secret – he had been guarding it for almost two decades and it really was Moony's to tell. Nonetheless, Harry would need an explanation instantly and Moony was in no condition to give it. Sirius would not have him worry about this all day, maybe even longer considering the extent of Moony's injuries – he might well sleep through to the next morning.

Harry blinked, confused and worried, but there was no trace of disgust or betrayal on his face. 'What… What does that mean?'

'What you just said. He turns into a wolf at the full moon.'

'So…' Harry pondered. 'Is that what hurt him?'

'Kind of,' Sirius sighed. 'Werewolves… They don't have control when they transform, like I do when I become a dog. The wolf takes over, and it's violent and wants to attack people. That's why Moony left, so he wouldn't hurt us.' Sirius hoped he was explaining things in a way that would both make Harry understand how serious this was but also not be scared of Moony. 'There… There's a place, run by the Ministry, where werewolves can spent the full moon without danger of accidentally meeting any people who aren't infected.'

Harry was following his words attentively and nodded to indicate that he had understood. 'So another werewolf hurt him?'

Sirius nodded. 'Yes, that's what he told me.'

'But,' said Harry indignantly, 'if they know that werewolves hurt each other, they should make sure that they don't. The Ministry, I mean. They should… they should separate them or something.'

Sirius sighed. This was a very difficult thing to find an answer for, especially since he did not know the details himself. 'They should,' he agreed. What else could he say? That Moony, whom Harry adored, was considered a monster in the eyes of the Ministry? 'Usually, werewolves are only dangerous to humans, not each other.'

'But why did they hurt Remus, then?'

This was yet another difficult question. Sirius did not want to go into detail about Greyback who saw it as his mission to bite as many people as possible, about the werewolves who believed him when he said that werewolves should not mix with uninfected wizards. 'There are some people who are werewolves who don't like Moony all that much,' he said carefully. 'They think it's a betrayal that he prefers to live with people who aren't werewolves. I suppose that they get angry with him.'

Harry pondered this for a moment. 'And they always hurt him on a full moon?'

'I'm not sure. He hasn't told me about it yet but I'm going to ask him when he wakes up. For now, we need to let him sleep. He's always very, very tired the day after his transformation and he needs to heal.'

Harry took that in with a nod.

'Harry, what I told you is a secret, okay? Even more secret than magic. You mustn't tell anybody, anybody at all about this, do you understand?' he urged. The warning was probably superfluous. Harry would know not to tell anybody at school since it had to do with magic and there was nobody else who he was in contact with.

Harry nodded earnestly. 'Nobody. I promise.'

'Good.' Sirius pulled him into a hug. 'You're a good kid, Harry. I'm proud of you.'

Moony was still asleep when Sirius picked Harry up from school that afternoon. Sirius had checked on him on and off all day but nothing worth noting had happened. He had not even turned over.

Harry was edgy and Sirius allowed him in Moony's room after making him promise to remain quiet and not disturb him. His eyes were big as he took in the white bandage that covered Moony's head and the bit of arm that was poking out from under the blanket. Blood had stained the fabric in some places.

'And he'll be okay?' he whispered.

Sirius nodded. 'He will be, I promise.'

Sirius did his best to distract Harry from Moony that afternoon and evening but had only limited success. He supposed that Harry was too old for such treatment to work. It was lucky that the full moon had not been earlier – he dreaded to think what Harry would have made of this only two weeks ago. He seemed to be doing okay, given the circumstances and Sirius put that down to the fact that Harry knew not to be scared of Moony.

On the contrary, Harry adored Moony and Sirius could see why. The homework thing had changed things for them. It had made Harry realise that Moony, like Sirius, had an honest interest in his wellbeing. He excelled where Sirius was stretched to his limits. Moony was patient, calm and thoughtful, and had a seemingly infinite amount of knowledge on all sorts of topics at his disposal. Sirius was not stupid, far from it, nor was he uneducated, but he lacked the passion for learning that Moony so obviously possessed. It probably also helped that there could not be two men less alike than him and Vernon Dursley.

Moony had absolutely fallen for Harry, in turn. Sirius knew that Moony had always wanted to have kids but that it was something he had never really considered a possibility. There was a certain risk involved and a part of Sirius understood that Moony did not want to take the chance of passing on his predicament. Still, now he had the chance to be a father and Sirius would not let him let that slip away, certainly not because of something as ridiculous as his "furry little problem," as Prongs had liked to call it.

Sirius kept checking on Moony every few hours through the night and in the early morning, he accidentally woke him up when changing the bandages.

'Wha…' Moony groaned.

'It's fine, it's just me,' answered Sirius. 'You've been asleep for about twenty hours. How are you feeling?'

Moony relaxed again. 'Hurts…' he muttered, his eyes falling shut. 'Doin' fine.'

'Alright. If you need me, just call, okay?'

'Hm,' Moony hummed. He had fallen asleep again and Sirius left him alone.

He woke properly the next morning, about an hour after Sirius had dropped Harry off at school.

'How are you?' he asked when he found him sitting up in his bed.

Moony shrugged and hissed immediately at the pain that caused him. 'I've been worse.'

Sirius rolled his eyes at him. 'Breakfast?' Moony nodded. 'What do you want? Bacon, eggs, sausages?'

Moony gave him a sheepish grin. 'That would be brilliant. Let me give you a hand…'

He made to stand up but Sirius pushed him back down. 'Don't you dare,' he warned. 'You're staying right where you are. I'll stick you to those sheets permanently if you try anything,' he warned.

The fact that Moony gave up instantly served as proof to Sirius that the first attempt to get up had to have caused him quite a substantial amount of pain.

Sirius left Moony after shooting him another warning glare and returned a little while later with a full English breakfast. Sirius let himself drop on the foot of the bed while Moony ate.

'So, want to tell me why you were unconscious for more than a day? Or do I have to torture you for information?'

Moony sighed. 'It seems that the other wolves saw it as a betrayal that I wasn't there last month. Most of the time they leave me alone.'

Sirius growled.

'Padfoot…'

Moony would never agree to spend the full moon in any way that did not involve locking him up, some place a safe distance from any other humans – and there were not too many of those. The Shrieking Shack was of course always an option but if Moony were to stay there by himself, he would not return in a better condition than he had yesterday – on the contrary, Sirius had seen him injured a lot worse during their first few years at school.

No, the Shrieking Shack alone was not a good solution. Maybe, if Sirius and Moony both were to go there, then Harry could stay at home. They would just need someone to babysit him, but who? The only person who was even a remote possibility was Dumbledore and somehow, Sirius could not see Harry taking to the idea, provided the old man even agreed… It was maddening!

'No, I hate this. I…'

'There's nothing you can do.'

'Oh, I will find something, trust me. I'm not having that!' Moony had suffered enough and as his friend, Sirius was going to do anything in his power to keep that from continuing. Still, he was yet to find a viable solution to their problem…

Moony sighed but smiled contentedly. 'You know,' he said slowly, 'it's been a long time since someone got so angry on my behalf.'

'You better get used to it!' growled Sirius, still angry, but Moony's words succeeded in appeasing him a little. 'I told Harry,' he changed the subject.

Moony tensed instantly. 'And?' he asked, sounding as if he was not certain whether he wanted to know the answer.

'What do you think, you prat? He didn't give a flying hippogriff. How could he, honestly? You spent hours with him, working on that "which tree is which" poster thing. I very much suspect that your whole "I'm a monster" routine will be lost on him.'

'I think it would be down to the fact that everything he ever heard about werewolves came from you, am I right?' guessed Moony but he was smiling nonetheless.

Sirius shrugged. 'I didn't lie to him. Besides, he was too busy being worried that you were hurt to care about anything else – as he should have been.'

Harry ran most of the way back from school, incredibly eager to see how Moony was doing. He had been delighted to hear that he had woken up but Sirius had not been able to appease him completely. When they returned, Moony had someone managed to manoeuvre himself down the stairs and onto the sofa in the sitting room and Harry's presence was the only thing that kept Sirius from doing more scolding than sending him an exasperated look.

'Are you okay?' asked Harry carefully, hovering by the coffee table.

Moony nodded. 'I'll be right as rain in a few days. You don't need to worry.'

Harry looked to Sirius for confirmation and got a nod in return. Still, tension remained in the air.

Moony cleared his throat. 'Padfoot told… He told me that he told you about… about me being a werewolf.'

Harry nodded and remained silent.

Moony squirmed, obviously both relieved that Harry's response was not negative – but then, it had not been positive either. 'I'm sorry. I probably should have told you before but… Well, a lot of people… Most people don't like werewolves all that much and…'

'I like you,' said Harry hurriedly.

Moony smiled at him carefully. 'Thanks, Harry.'

Both of them fell silent and the tension became almost unbearable.

Finally, Sirius could not take it anymore. He nudged Harry forwards. 'Just give that prat a hug already.' He could tell it was Moony's apprehensive stance that made Harry hesitate – he had waited for more than a day for him to wake up, for Merlin's sake, and now Moony looked as though he did not want him near.

Moony seemed scandalised by this suggestion but Harry obediently took a few tentative steps towards the sofa. 'You don't have to, Harry,' said Moony with a pained expression. 'I can understand if you're scared of me or…' He trailed off.

'I didn't want to hurt you,' said Harry. 'I'm not scared of you. Sirius says you're only dangerous when it's the full moon and it isn't at the moment, so…'

Moony blinked at him uncertainly for a few seconds but then extended an arm, inviting Harry in. The latter obliged and was promptly snuggled into the man's chest. 'Thank you,' muttered Moony, looking down at the child.

Harry shrugged. 'I think you're being a bit silly,' he said after a moment's deliberation. There was no malice in his voice, just honest concern.

Sirius burst out laughing at this. 'I think that's quite the understatement,' he insisted. 'You're being incredibly stupid, Moony.'

Moony just smiled contentedly.

They hung around the sitting room for a while, Harry sitting on the floor so that he could spread his homework on the coffee table. Moony regarded this with a sceptical look. 'That's not a good place for working, Harry,' he told him.

'It's fine for today,' interjected Sirius before Harry could do more than look up at Moony worriedly. 'As an exception, okay?' Moony took homework seriously, Sirius not so much.

Harry nodded instantly. 'Just for today,' he promised, looking at Moony.

Moony had thrown Sirius a scolding look but could not help but smile at Harry. 'Just today,' he gave in, realising that today, he would not be winning any battles. They settled down after that, reading and occasionally talking. Harry was not particularly talkative but Sirius put that down to the new situation and did not think much of it.

'Dinner?' asked Sirius eventually when his stomach began to grumble.

'Look, you have to let me help,' argued Moony instantly.

Sirius shook his head and turned to Harry who was curled up in one of the armchairs, reading. 'Harry, you're in charge of making sure he doesn't get up!'

Harry looked from him to Moony and back again, obviously uncertain. He would hate to stand between the two of them and that was exactly what Sirius was banking on – he hoped that Moony would give in to spare Harry getting into that dilemma. Sadly, he had no such luck – Moony was already pushing himself to his feet. He had obviously seen through Sirius's strategy and by getting up now, when Sirius was still in the room, Harry could stay out of it.

'Oi!' Sirius complained.

'I'm not actually that much of an invalid,' said Moony. He glared but Sirius held his gaze until he sighed. 'Fine, I'll let you cook but I want to supervise, okay? I am quite hungry.'

'So what, you're saying you don't trust me with our dinner?' asked Sirius, trying to sound appalled.

'Of course I don't trust you with our dinner. Now, give me a hand, would you?'

Sirius sighed, knowing that Moony had a point. Sirius' cooking had improved quite a bit in the last few weeks but he still hardly excelled at the task. He walked over and supported Moony as he limped towards the kitchen. 'How exactly did you get down those stairs?'

Moony chuckled. 'Padfoot, contrary to your belief I am actually quite capable of taking care of myself.'

Sirius heard the unsaid addition of "I've had to do it for the past seven years" and growled. 'Well, you don't have to anymore, so stop whining.'

He settled Moony on a chair and pushed over a second so that he could put up his leg. Harry tentatively shuffled into the room after them, book still in hand. 'Are you fighting?' he asked.

'No,' answered Moony the same moment that Sirius said, 'Yes.' They exchanged a look.

'What else do you think we're doing?' asked Sirius.

'Well, I didn't think either of us is really angry,' Moony argued with a pointed look at Harry who looked a little worried.

'Harry, we're fine,' Sirius hurried to say. 'We're fighting but that doesn't mean anything, okay? Moony's right, I'm not really angry with him… even if he's being a prat,' he added.

Moony hit Sirius on the arm by way of retaliation and a little smile appeared on Harry's face. 'Do you want me to help you with dinner?' he asked.

'If you want to but you don't have to.' He nodded to Harry's book. 'You were reading, weren't you?'

Harry shook his head and set the book aside. 'I can help. What're we making?'

'Sausages, mashed potatoes and salad. You can wash the tomatoes if you want.'

Harry nodded and got to work while Sirius set the potatoes to boil and got the sausages out of the fridge. He was still reluctant to let Harry do the cooking. Everything involving knives or hot liquids near Harry's fingers made him edgy and for the sake of his nerves, he had started to give Harry other jobs. He very much suspected that Harry knew what he was doing even if he was yet to complain.

After they had eaten, Harry dug a letter out of his book bag and handed it to Sirius.

Sirius skimmed it. It was an invitation to something called a "parents' evening" on November 7th, the first day back after half term. Underneath it was a handwritten note signed by Mr Clark, Harry's form teacher, asking Sirius either to attend or to schedule a meeting at another time if he was otherwise occupied that night. Sirius passed it to Moony to read.

'What's a parents' evening?' he asked.

'The parents go into the school and the teachers tell them about how their kids are doing. That's right, isn't it, Harry?' said Moony.

Harry nodded silently. He was once more sporting the look of fear and guilt that Sirius had begun to hate weeks ago.

'Are you worried about what your teachers will say?' asked Sirius.

Harry nodded again.

'Why? Did you get in trouble?'

Harry squirmed and Sirius sighed. He was convinced that Harry had not intentionally broken any rules. He was still unnervingly well behaved at all times, at least around Moony and Sirius. Still, he obviously felt that he had done something wrong.

'Do you want to tell me?'

Harry shuffled, his eyes fixed on the ground. 'I… We… When we were doing a dictation exercise I looked over at Gina's sheet and I copied a word.'

Sirius could not help but chuckle. 'Harry, I very much doubt your teacher would call me in because of that.' He lowered his voice to a whisper. 'All the kids do that, you know?'

Finally, Harry looked up to him, eyes wide. 'You're not angry?'

Sirius sighed and ruffled his hair. 'Of course not.' Anything else would feel extremely hypocritical, and Harry ought to know since he had been told about a lot of the stuff that the Marauders had gotten up to in their school days. 'Your teacher probably only wants to talk to me because you're new. You worry too much, Harry.' He looked at Moony as he said it.

'You're one to talk,' muttered Moony into his beard and the corners of Harry's mouth twitched upwards just a smidge.

Sirius grinned at him and ruffled his hair again. 'Now, fancy a game of Exploding Snap before bed?'

Harry nodded eagerly.

They had not made big plans for half term. Sirius had considered going on vacation but in the end, he had decided against it. The end of October was not exactly an ideal time for holidaying in Britain and travelling abroad would prove problematic. Since they would have to avoid everyone magical – Harry had still not been told that he was famous – they would have to go the muggle way and Sirius could not honestly say that he was particularly keen on that.

Harry had voiced no desire for a big trip and knowing him, Sirius very much doubted that he would be overly upset even if he had secretly wanted one. Maybe they could go in the summer, rent a house by the sea or something like that. For now, though, Harry was probably putting up with enough change without being dragged to yet another foreign city let alone country. Besides, it was not as if nothing was going on. Both Halloween and Sirius' twenty-ninth birthday would happen in the holidays.

Sirius had been toying with the idea of buying broomsticks and spending the holidays teaching Harry how to fly – even though Harry had never brought it up again after Sirius promised it weeks ago – but the cold and freezing rain made him change his mind. Those were hardly ideal conditions, even for accomplished flyers, and the last thing he wanted was for Harry to slip off a wet broom.

Therefore, they spent the first couple of days of their holiday mainly lounging in the sitting room and taking the occasional walk outside, getting soaked and covered in mud. Despite this rather uneventful way of spending the days, Harry seemed content.

Sirius had been worried about the lack of things to do for Harry about the house but he need not have. Harry was perfectly content with what little toys he had. This gave Sirius the uncomfortable feeling that it was the peace and security he was enjoying most. Nonetheless, if that was what Harry needed, that would be what he would get.

'What do you think?' Sirius asked Moony on the night before Halloween. 'See them tomorrow?' There was no need to specify. Sirius was absolutely certain that Halloween would in Moony's mind forever be linked with the death of two of his best friends, just like it was in Sirius'.

To his surprise, Moony shook his head.

'Why?'

'It'll be crowded, Padfoot. I haven't checked the Prophet but usually the Ministry's holding some kind of ceremony thing in the graveyard that day, and even if they aren't, there'll be loads of people about. If we took Harry…' He sighed. 'Well, let's just say I doubt very much that he would enjoy that.'

Sirius' face fell. He had been dead set on visiting them. He felt he owed it to them, especially since he had not been able to bring himself to do it ever since he had been to Godric's Hollow with Harry back in September.

'I'm sorry,' said Moony, looking the part.

'Not your fault, is it?' The words came out harsher than he had intended.

Moony shrugged, unfazed by his friend's tone. 'We can go the day after. That's what I always do.'

Sirius heard the pain in his voice and his anger evaporated as quickly as it had come. Moony had been going alone, year after year. 'Yeah,' he muttered. 'That's what we'll do.'

Moony just nodded, a glint of something in his eye that Sirius could not quite place. It might have been relief, gratitude or even indignation. Still, it did not really matter. After everything that Moony was doing for him and Harry, the least he could do was make sure that he being a good friend, too.

'Does Harry know?' asked Moony, bringing them back to safer territory.

'He hasn't mentioned it but he's definitely seen the date on the headstone – it's not the kind of thing he'd forget now, is it?'

Moony nodded but remained silent. Both of them hung onto their thoughts for a few minutes.

'We should do something,' decided Sirius finally. 'Harry hasn't asked about them, has he?'

Moony shook his head.

'Well, then we should tell him some more. Get photos out and tell stories. That'd be good, right? Remember them?'

Moony agreed with a nod and a sad smile. After that, the prospect of a rather gloomy day ahead made them spend the rest of the evening mostly in silence.

Surprisingly, the sun was shining the next morning, in contrast to the last couple of days when it had been raining almost consistently. Seizing the chance, Moony suggested going for a walk and enjoy the weather. Harry was quiet and since there did not seem to be a trigger beside the obvious, Sirius concluded that yes, Harry definitely did remember the significance of the day.

They returned in time for lunch and afterwards settled in the sitting room, surrounded by all of Moony's pictures. The fact that Sirius could not contribute on its own was enough to put a damper on his mood – all but a handful of his personal belongings were gone and he was very lucky indeed that his wand had not been snapped as well. He did not usually dwell on such things – he had never been overly attached to his possessions – but he felt sorrow for his pictures and letters, anything that had valuable memories attached to it.

It was an odd afternoon, despite the fact that Harry loosened up considerably when he realised that Sirius and Moony had not in fact forgotten that it was the anniversary of his parents' deaths. All three of them were constantly hovering in a state between laughing and crying as the two men shared their best stories about Lily and James. It helped to see Harry's eyes light up at the very mention of them – proof that even though they were gone, they were still very much loved and remembered.

Their session was interrupted around seven that night by a knock on the door, causing them all to look up, frowning. The protection Dumbledore had set up prevented anyone magical from approaching their property. Muggles were admitted, mostly so that the poor postman was able to throw adverts addressed to the previous resident into their letterbox every couple of days. Apart from Dumbledore, there had never been any visitors and Dumbledore would have sent ahead an owl, letting them know he was going to call.

Sirius' hand tightened around his wand and out of the corner of his eye, his saw Moony mirroring the movement. He reminded himself that someone who could break Dumbledore's protections would probably not bother knocking. So, with all likelihood, they were not about to be murdered. Still, on could not be too careful, especially today…

'Stay here,' Sirius said to Moony who seemed reluctant at first but nodded half-heartedly when Sirius rolled his eyes in Harry's direction.

Sirius approached the front door, wand at the ready. He could hear people talking outside.

'… not in, Bennie.' That was a man's voice.

'But the lights are on,' argued a child. 'And Harry said they weren't going away.'

Sirius opened the door with his left hand, his right still clutching his wand tightly. Outside stood two people. He recognised the man after a moment. He knew him from Harry's school, a father. The boy's face had been painted white, obscuring most of his features, and he wore what looked like a bedsheet.

'Trick or treat,' he said, beaming up at Sirius.

'Oh,' breathed Sirius, quickly pushing his wand out of sight. He had not even considered the possibility that someone would come by, looking for sweets. 'Remus?' he called over his shoulder. 'Do we have any sweets?'

'See, Daddy, I told you they were in,' whispered the boy to his father who shushed him.

'Sweets?' Moony appeared in the door to the sitting room. He took in their guests and understood. 'I'll have a look.' He disappeared into the kitchen. Finding treats would not be the problem but Sirius doubted that handing out the likes of chocolate frogs would be that much of a good idea.

'Is Harry in?' asked the boy. 'I wanted to ask if he wants to come trick or treating but we couldn't call you 'cause your number isn't on the class list and you weren't in this morning and Daddy said…' He fell silent as Harry appeared from the sitting room, just like Moony had before him.

'Hi, Bennie,' he mouthed and loitered behind Sirius.

Bennie – who Sirius now recalled was the boy sharing a table with Harry – grinned at him. 'Hi, Harry,' he burst out, talking at a terrific speed. 'Did you hear what I said? You could still come if you want to – we haven't really started yet. You need a costume but Daddy's got face paint so we could make you a zombie or something, with your face all green. Wouldn't that be cool? And we could get loads of sweets 'cause…'

Harry shrunk under the onslaught of words.

'Ben,' interrupted the father, taking note. 'Take it slow.'

'Would you like to go?' asked Sirius, turning to Harry. He very much doubted that this question would be answered with a yes but he wanted the decision to be up to Harry. 'We could fix you up a costume, no problem.'

Harry shook his head by a fraction and then took a step sideways to disappear behind his godfather completely.

'I'm sorry,' said Sirius, mainly talking to the father. He reached behind his back to ruffle Harry's hair. 'It… It's not that much of a good day. We were really just hoping for a quiet evening.'

The man's eyes fixed on his face and Sirius realised with a little twinge that he had been crying and that it probably showed. Before another word was said, however, Moony came back, carrying two bars of Honeyduke's Best Chocolate.

'There we go,' he said, handing them to Ben with a smile. 'No need to trick us now.'

'I wouldn't trick you,' said Ben knowledgably, dropping the sweets into his bag. 'I'd haunt you.'

'Would you now?' answered Moony, taking the bait. 'You know, I don't think real ghosts wear bedsheets.'

'Don't say that,' argued Sirius before Ben could. 'I met one once. He was weird, though, even for a ghost, and they aren't known to be the most balanced and well-adjusted sort, are they?'

Moony frowned at him but went along with it. 'When was that?'

'Must have been when I was about twelve. Regulus and me went off exploring the house at some distant cousin's birthday party. He was probably some great-great-great-uncle of mine or something.'

'How did he die that involved a sheet?' asked Moony, bemused now that he realised that Sirius was telling a true story.

Sirius shrugged. 'I tried to ask but all he kept doing was shouting, "Boo!" and trying to float through me. I don't think he was all that keen on having a conversation, really, and he was getting on our nerves, so we scarpered.'

Moony chuckled and turned back to their visitors. Ben was staring open-mouthed, evidently unsure how to place that story, but his father seemed amused.

Ben shook himself out of his stupor and turned back to Harry. 'Come on, Harry. We can get loads and loads of sweets. It'll be fun. And your daddy said you could go.'

Sirius swallowed at being referred to as Harry's "daddy" but it did not feel right to correct him. He had no idea how Harry would interpret that. He looked down to see that Harry was still looking intimidated even though one of the corners of his mouth had been tugging upwards just a fraction at Sirius' story.

'I want to stay here,' muttered Harry.

To say that Ben looked disappointed would have been an understatement. 'Aw… But why?'

Harry looked to Sirius for help.

'We were planning to have a quiet night, just the three of us,' supplied Moony. 'Some talking and looking at old pictures.'

'But you could do that tomorrow,' Ben started to argue, 'and Halloween's only today and…'

'Ben, Harry's already said no,' interrupted the father. 'I think you should res…'

'But…'

'No but, you asked and he said no and you'll just have to accept that.' He turned his attention back to Sirius. 'We're sorry for disturbing you.'

'That's fine,' Sirius hurried to say. 'It was nice of you to ask.'

Ben pouted at his father but seemed to realise that he had lost. He gave Harry another longing look. 'Do you really not wanna come?'

Harry shook his head. 'No, thank you,' he whispered.

Ben sighed, his shoulders slumping. 'Alright.'

'Say thank you for the chocolate,' prompted the father.

'Thanks.'

'You're welcome,' answered Moony.

'Well, I think we'll leave you in peace then,' said the man. 'Nice meeting you.'

'Likewise.'

'Bye.'

The two visitors turned and started down the garden path as Sirius closed the door. He could hear that the boy had started arguing the moment they had turned their back on the house.

'Are you okay?' Sirius asked Harry.

Harry nodded.

'He was right, you know. We could have done this tomorrow.'

'I'm fine,' muttered Harry and moved back towards the sitting room. 'I didn't want to go.'

'Alright,' Sirius hurried to say and followed him. 'It was all up to you.'

Harry nodded and sank back onto the sofa where he had been sitting earlier. 'Can I ask you something?'

'Sure, anything.' Sirius dropped down next to him while Moony took the armchair.

'Were you just taking the mickey when you talked about ghosts? Or are they real?'

'Oh.' Sirius cleared his throat, realising why Harry was asking. 'They're real but only very few witches and wizards decide to become ghosts. Most… move on.'

Harry nodded, his eyes fixed on one of the numerous pictured of his parents that were piled up on the coffee table. 'And… And Mum and Dad?'

Sirius sighed and slung an arm around Harry's shoulders. 'They didn't become ghosts, Harry.'

'Are you sure? Maybe… Maybe they're just hiding or they haven't found me yet or something.'

'No, Harry, I'm sorry,' he said, speaking as gently as he possibly could. Had Lily and James become ghosts, they would have haunted the hell out of 4 Privet Drive, he was sure. Petunia and Vernon Dursley would not have a moment's peace.

Harry's face fell but it seemed that he was unwilling to give up this glimmer of hope. Sirius felt with him. He, too, would very much have liked them around again, even transparent. 'But why… why wouldn't they stick around if they could?'

'It's people who are afraid of dying who would rather wander the world as a shadow of their living self than move on,' explained Moony. 'Lily and James were brave. Death would not have scared them.'

Harry remained silent.

'Ghosts…' Sirius began. 'Ghosts are never happy, Harry. They are neither dead nor alive. They don't belong here anymore, not really. Trust me – you wouldn't really want that for your Mum and Dad.'

Harry sniffed and leaned into Sirius. 'Sorry.'

Sirius ignored the apology. 'It would be great, wouldn't it?' he said instead. 'Being able to talk to them?'

'Yeah,' said Harry quietly. He sniffed again and picked up one of the photos. 'What about that one?' he asked. His voice was shaking but he was obviously determined to change the topic. 'Who's that, next to Mum?'

-oOo-

The rain was back the next morning so they were huddled up in coats as they apparated to Godric's Hollow. The journey still made Harry a little queasy but given the choice, he had preferred it to two hours on the bike in the rain. One of the advantages of the poor weather was that the village square was near deserted and the few people who hurried along were too keen to get back to shelter to spare them more than a fleeting glance. Nobody would bother them.

The muggle war memorial standing tall at the centre of the square was surrounded by flowers. Moony took a few steps towards it and Sirius opened his mouth to ask why he was taking a detour, straying from the straight line that they had been walking along, directly to the kissing gate that marked the entrance to the graveyard. Then, he saw it.

The obelisk was no longer an obelisk. It had changed into a stone statue – three statues to be exact. The sight of them made Sirius' stomach drop. He had not expected to see their faces, see them smiling at him. He froze but Harry moved forwards steadily, as if he had been hit by a Summoning Charm.

Sirius watched as he approached, carefully avoiding the flowers as he stepped up on the low plinth on which the memorial stood. He reached up to touch his parents' hands were they lay on the knee of the depiction of his younger self.

Sirius and Moony followed more slowly. 'Since when… How… When did they put it here?' asked Sirius.

'For the first anniversary.' Moony spoke quietly, his eyes, too, on Harry who was staring up into the carved faces, standing so still that he might have been one of them. 'They had a big celebration, Bagnold was there and everyone. I think I left about ten minutes in but at least they did a decent job with the statue, I think.'

Sirius scowled at the idea that the day of Lily and James' death had been celebrated but he had to agree that whoever had made the statue had known what they were doing. His eyes clung to James' face, cut into the stone. It really bore a remarkable likeness, as did Lily. The depiction of Baby Harry did not look much like the real little boy had done, and Sirius realised that the artist had most likely worked off photographs, maybe wedding pictures or the ones that had been in the Daily Prophet after their graduation – which would explain why James and Lily seemed a little younger than Sirius remembered them and why Lily's hair had been pinned up, something that she had only ever done for special occasions.

He sighed. 'You could have warned us it was here.' He had been startled so Merlin knew what this would do to Harry.

'I thought you'd seen it when you visited last time.' Moony sounded a little more defensive than he would usually be. Last night, just after Harry had gone to bed, he had set off to work the night shift. He had returned in the early morning, resulting in very little sleep until his alarm had woken him for breakfast.

'Sorry,' muttered Sirius. He tended to let his anger out on Moony at times and usually, that was relatively all right since Moony knew not to take it personally – even if Sirius still felt guilty about it after.

They slowly approached Harry who was still standing motionless, staring up into his parents' faces. His hood prevented Sirius from seeing his face. 'Harry?'

After a few seconds' hesitation, Harry turned around and slumped into him, arms around his waist. Sirius automatically rubbed his back. He did not seem to be crying, which was something. He was bound to be devastated but then, this visit would do that to him. Sirius did not have to cheer him up at the moment. Sad was the only appropriate emotion for this place, he supposed.

'Come one, let's go see them.' With one last look at the stone faces, he turned around, gently nudging Harry to walk along. Moony followed.

The grave, too, was covered in flowers. Before Sirius could, Moony had drawn his wand and wordlessly conjured a bouquet of daisies, dandelions and daffodils that he offered to Harry.

'She never liked lilies,' he explained, making Harry glance down at all the wreaths and bouquets that piled up on the grave. Most of them were lilies, many of them white. 'She thought it was a horribly unimaginative idea to give them to her.'

Harry nodded and took the flowers that Moony was still holding out for him.

'James used to give her bunches and bunches of roses,' Sirius continued Moony's story. 'And then Lily told him he wasn't putting in the effort 'cause he could just conjure them up with a flick of his wand. So he marched out of the castle and picked every single flower he came across…'

'… and she still refused to go out with him,' added Moony with a small chuckle. 'But when she did, eventually, he still only ever gave her flowers that he'd picked himself.'

Harry prodded one of the daffodils as if to check if it was real. 'Maybe we could pick some for her, too?' he suggested.

'It's November, Harry,' Sirius reminded him gently. Harry's face fell. 'But as soon as we can find any, we'll bring them here, alright?'

Harry nodded and knelt down, pushing some lilies aside to make space for the new flowers right underneath the names. 'I hope you like them, Mum,' he whispered. 'Sirius and Remus told me a lot about you and Dad. We looked at all the pictures that Remus…'

'Come on,' muttered Sirius and nudged Moony to walk away. Harry had not talked to them the last time they had been here. Maybe it had been because the focus had been too much on the then unknown factor that was Sirius. Maybe he had not known what to say to them then – Harry still did not talk much about his life before he had moved in with Sirius. He probably would not have wanted to tell them about that.

They split up and Sirius began to walk up and down the rows of tombstones, reading the names without remembering them, all the while watching Harry from the corner of his eye without coming close enough to hear what he was saying. He caught the occasional word, though. He seemed to be talking about the daytrips they had been on, about school, about everything that was going on… Sirius' name came up a few times, as did Moony's.

Eventually, he pushed himself up again and Sirius took that as a sign that he was allowed to approach. He stroked Harry's head, or at least his hood. Harry leaned into the touch. They stood in silence for a few minutes.

Harry began to shiver after a while.

'Cold?' asked Sirius, concerned.

Harry shrugged, which meant that he had to be freezing. If he was willing to acknowledge discomfort, it had to be quite immense.

'Let's get you home, then,' said Moony who had been standing to Harry's other side. He caught Sirius' eye. 'Do you need another moment, Padfoot?'

Sirius looked to Harry. 'Would that be alright?' he asked him. 'Moony and you can go ahead and I'll be there in a bit?'

After a moment's hesitation – which was probably down to reluctance to leave Sirius on his own rather than not wanting to go with Moony – he nodded.

'Bye, Dad, bye, Mum,' he whispered, running a finger over the gravestone before taking Moony's hand.