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The Scrummy Bummy Lore

In the infantile state of a new universe were many creatures in their starting phase, one of which was a juice pouch and straw that would challenge any vegetables from the cabbage patch to a round of fisticuffs, ultimately overcoming them and absorbing their power, thus, it became formidable and left behind an entire and complete heritage behind. This being was later known to be none other but...The Succ Sage. The self named Genius Gang, a group of intellectuals with knowledge far beyond the norm of this infantile universe then began to rise and found this heritage, allowing them to begin their ascent to the higher realms. The Scrummy Bummy Lore is an incomprehensive, shortened archive of the real events that the Genius Gang went through on their path. Translator's Note: As the best translator in the world, it is easy to assume that my translation will be complely on point, however, the Scrummy Bummy Lore, being written in the language of the Gods, was far too complex for even a genius like I to translate fully, as I, just like you, am a mere mortal. Please do read this novel with an open mind, keeping in mind that not only are there multiple meanings that we do not understand, but also many that can eventually be understood through comprehensive thought. I myself feel as though I have matured as not just a person, but as an entity in this vast universe that we call our home after reading this novel. In short, I must say that if the human race ever evolves to the point where we can incorporate the Scrummy Bummy Lore into our national curriculum as the most significant subject, I can die knowing that humanity shall live on to achieve great things.

ImmenseEgg · realistisch
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69 Chs

Gentleman's Game of Scrabble

the two landed on a planet akin to earth, however, the sky slowly became crimson and lightning fell.

jewsus hit that dab damn, he hit that whip gosh! hit that nae nae and adjusted his tie ooh! "Discombobulated" he dropped upon Mr Gloybraith, who became the word that was said.

but even so, me pee me pee mr Gloybraith was not at a disadvantage come say "take off your clothes" say "antidisestablishmentarianism!" jewsus, having heard this, suddenly felt opposition to the disestablishment of the Church of England and sucked an egg mmmm!

the sky shattered. eggs were cracked and used to make cakes and Tesco express was still open after 9 o'clock. jewsus uttered, "floccinaucinihilipilification..."

Mr Gloybraith had a feeling of worthlessness. he almost developed depression having heard that word however his love for educating students on geography broke him out of his daze to say "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis hehehe!"

jewsus got lung disease and had to go to the hospital on the life support machine and reec was like "can I try??" say "can I have a go??"

had Mr Gloybraith won Scrabble? pillars of lava began shooting out of the planets core like milk shooting out of Jos cots dad. hope seemed to be lost as Mr Gloybraith began to ascend to the fifth dimension, but then:

the genius gang adjusted their ties, adjusted their collars, their collar bones they dived into their rib cage to adjust it and dusted off their hearts on the way out and slammed the door shut like cool kids, they slammed their lunch boxes onto the table like hard kids, they dusted off their shoulders dusted off their shoulder blades, checked their angle with a protracted very carefully and adjusted their angle if the angle wasn't correct and used tracing paper to translate their kneecaps via scale factors and used the quadratic formula to work out the taste of their kneecaps and dusted them, adjusted them and slammed them under the table as though they weren't in the mood alongside uncontrollable hand gestures paired with an active facial expression looking dapper sirs!

all three of them teleported to Skegness then Chernobyl and breathed in the fresh air then teleported back as they all said in fairspoken unison "Hippopotomonstrosequippedaliophobia." omggg!

but Mr Gloybraith laff say "hahaha nice try Kleenex gang but Hippopotomonstrosequippedaliophobia isn't nearly as long as pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis! it's actually 10 letter shorta!" he hit that dab and continued his ascent, but then the wenius Wang laff too say...

"Hippopotomonstrosequippedaliophobia. The fear of long words."

"what??" Mr gloybraith brought in chocolate coated biscuits to geography revision such a good teacher! "jewsus and the Kleenex gang...tricked me??!!"

Mr Gloybraith suddenly became afraid of long words and couldn't play scrabble for the time being resulting in his first loss ever. "gosh darn!"

"Do not curse!" the wenius Wang shouted and all the absorbed beings came out of Mr gloybraith's flaccid stiffy and gasped, "Mr Gloybraith swore! was he tricking us into thinking the Kleenex gang...no, the wenius Wang swore??!!"

"and I would I have gotten away with it if it weren't for you dapper sirs!" Mr gloybraith having suffered intense internal injuries where his organs became water displacement formula 69, had to retreat for the time being as the wenius Wang succ'd up all the energy from jewsus and my gloybraith's battle and came to understand the laws of the fourth dimension and how to surpass them. I forgot to buy marmite.