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The Scrummy Bummy Lore

In the infantile state of a new universe were many creatures in their starting phase, one of which was a juice pouch and straw that would challenge any vegetables from the cabbage patch to a round of fisticuffs, ultimately overcoming them and absorbing their power, thus, it became formidable and left behind an entire and complete heritage behind. This being was later known to be none other but...The Succ Sage. The self named Genius Gang, a group of intellectuals with knowledge far beyond the norm of this infantile universe then began to rise and found this heritage, allowing them to begin their ascent to the higher realms. The Scrummy Bummy Lore is an incomprehensive, shortened archive of the real events that the Genius Gang went through on their path. Translator's Note: As the best translator in the world, it is easy to assume that my translation will be complely on point, however, the Scrummy Bummy Lore, being written in the language of the Gods, was far too complex for even a genius like I to translate fully, as I, just like you, am a mere mortal. Please do read this novel with an open mind, keeping in mind that not only are there multiple meanings that we do not understand, but also many that can eventually be understood through comprehensive thought. I myself feel as though I have matured as not just a person, but as an entity in this vast universe that we call our home after reading this novel. In short, I must say that if the human race ever evolves to the point where we can incorporate the Scrummy Bummy Lore into our national curriculum as the most significant subject, I can die knowing that humanity shall live on to achieve great things.

ImmenseEgg · Realistic
Not enough ratings
69 Chs

Jewsus Fights Mr Gloybraith

"wagwan" the Wenius Wang appeared in a dark area and scared God so much come say "take off your clothes" he said "omgg wenius Wang?? looking so dapper u frightened me!" but the wenius Wang only adjusted their ties, put on their bunglasses bumglasses scrummy Bummy glasses and said "let's get to business."

god was so glad the wenius Wang was here he was looking for information in homebase but simply couldn't find any however, after looking at the noble wenius wang's dapper demeanour cows storing large quantities of milk built up in his eyesockets only to shoot out in rapid succession!

"wenius Wang does this planet look dapper enough?" god asked in a respectful tone yet the magnanimous denius dang pointed out that it was not, putting god into turmoil. the planet he had used all his dapper abilities on was still not dapper enough?? suckurmum! he thought.

but the genius gang heard this thought and quickly did it to them as cracks in the fabric of time appeared and an evil laff come say "hehehe" oh no it Mr Gloybraith!!!1!!!!!!

god was so frightened "golly gosh" as Mr Gloybraith used his devestating stiffy to defy the fabric of the universe and began to educate the inhabitants of the universe about high force waterfalls know that God doesn't exist!

surprised by this instantaneous onslaught descending upon them with devestating energy, the wenius Wang did it to them for a moment to temporarily ward off the energy and then impregnated god! "hm yes this is good" god nodded in approval and a bright light appeared from the heavens.

"hehehe-wait, who are you?!" Mr Gloybraith retracted his geographical expertise to question the new comer.

"You have sinned, my sister from another mister..."

Jewsus of Nazajew!

"it's you again, jesus Christ! I've already killed you!" Mr Gloybraith was so angery he let the genius gang borrow pens to write with for the lesson before bonna mbalister and his tronker bonker friends could steal them! to this, jewsus instead just laff come say "take off your clothes" explain "what you have killed is merely fourth dimensional, a shard of what I am, for, as I descended into the fourth dimension from the fifth, I had to split into the infinite realities causing me to be infinitely weaker! don't mastabate"

"I donut believe this!" Mr Gloybraith charged towards jewsus of Nazajew, knowing that he himself was just on the boundary of becoming a fifth dimensional being. "you dare keep the Kleenex gang from me?" his devestating stiffy swelled up to become the size of the universe, yet not as large as his knowledge on geography, and thrusted forwards.

jewsus momentarily cowered in fear but the wenius Wang helped tie his tie for him and dusted off his shoulders allowing him to adopt a truly fire mannerism oh my goodness gracious! jewsus stood his ground and put a spoon under a running tap causing a flood that Noah the rower had to build an ark with jos rusel on it to survive.

"you think this can stop me?? hehehe!" Mr Gloybraith became Tesco's express, a honey and crunchy egg wrap, a light bulb, floral jackets, frilly underwear and delicately carved wood! he stepped to the side and did an epic dance which even the denius dang had to denounce as dapper to say the least!

Mr Gloybraith then succ'd so hard that he absorbed most of the beings from the original universe the chenius chang had originated from to gain an extreme amount of power: an aura of milk, an aura of cheese billowed out from him as he charged once more at jewsus crust.

the two battled throughout time and space causing thousands of rifts to appear through the third and fourth dimension within an instant! they were playing Scrabble quicktime!