The one who was late
I was terribly late.
I opened the classroom door fully prepared for an uncomfortable silence and nosey glares. And my dear, they both awaited me! All of this was your fault, my dear friend, but you would never say sorry for that in particular. And even if you would I know that your "sorries" never were sincere even though I liked to hear them anyways. Even if they had no value whatsoever.
It was all pointless...
Going back to the class, I mean. My mind has always been French-proof and even if we were learning something useful all I thought about was you.
What was it this time?
What did you do?
Or maybe... Was it about me? Was it me who hurt you this time? Is this why you decided to turn the time back?
I needed to know, my dear friend. At that moment, bitterly I wished I could have followed your scheme, not trying to outsmart you in any way. I wished I just have gone to Chocolate's as you fancied me. I wanted to hear... Whatever you wanted to tell me.
I missed you so much... And if you didn't reach out to me I know... I know I would have contacted you and…
I shook my head
No. No, I wouldn't have gotten in touch with you again. I wouldn't have. I would just need to forget you. Because I could never ignore the things you have done. All that stuff I couldn't remember or the stuff I feel like I made up...
"You haven't changed..." I thought.
"And you never will..." I whispered, causing the person sitting beside me to frown. "Oh, It's nothing."
Finally, the lesson was over. I was always completely worn out in the end, that was the most interesting about them. It didn't even matter if I tried to pay attention or not. I was always so tired... I headed to the math class.
Thinking about you was also so exhausting. And I still couldn't let go...
"Hey!" It was Chuu.
She waved at me and I smiled at her.
"Hi! I thought you were ill!" I said. "I almost skipped, because I thought you wouldn't be here today!"
She chuckled.
"You wanted to skip because of me!"
"I have no other reasons to show up than to see you."
She suddenly squinted her eyes.
"You are so nice today... You want to copy my homework again, huh?"
"Well... Since you bring that up... You know I was going to skip... So I haven't one it and... Well... If you don't mind..."
She let me copy the homework.
Time was dragging during that one lesson. I could feel it passing slowly like it was trying to show its sadistic side... Like it was laughing at my face. Don't get me wrong, my dear friend. Math was definitely my cup of tea. Nevertheless, I already told you that there was only one thing that I was interested in at that moment.
And I felt the time that could be flying if somebody didn't stick its wings together. I felt the time in every breath I took, in every click that got out of my pen when I pushed it.
I was waiting for something.
For something…
For something…
For what exactly?
I was waiting for Chuu to pack her bag. The lesson was over and I felt the sudden urge to abandon her alone in this classroom and to run down the stairs and…
"What is it?" Asked Chuu.
"What?"
She frowned.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes."
She was finally ready. We got into the crowded hall. I couldn't help but elbow those who thought they were in a bigger hurry than me.
"February!" Said Chuu. "Why are you running?"
"Come on!"
We got out of school. Sun got in-between my upper and lower lashes. It was a winter sun, but its light was still capricious and itchy when it fell directly into my eyes. I squinted my eyes.
"Hey, Febbie."
I froze.
There was only one person you called me that.
"Oh, so that's why you rushed…" I heard Chuu behind my back.
"It's not why," I said with sudden anger.
"You were so nervous... I should have realized…" She whispered as she wanted only me to hear it, but I knew Time caught that too.
I was not nervous.
I was angry.
Time was standing just in front of us and that cold light was coming from behind her back… She looked like an…
She sneered like she could hear my thoughts.
"Time," I said.
"Febbie." She repeated. "Nice to see you."
"What do you want?"
She laughed.
"Oh, stop that! There is no need to be so angry! I was your girlfriend for quite a time after all!"
Chuu evacuated, quickly waving me goodbye. I followed her with my eyes and then turned my back at Time like I was heading home.
"Febbie!" She called and I could hear her disappointment.
I was not begging her to talk with me. I was not looking at her like she could turn the time back and make us be together again. Which… I think she technically could. Although she would need to turn time month back. It would probably require lots of her power. I never actually asked her if her magic consumed much of her strength. Maybe that was the reason behind those dark circles under her eyes?
Why wouldn't you tell me if that was true, Time? Why would I never know anything first-hand?
Time caught up with me and stooped just in front of me.
She bowed, taking her hat off.
"Would you accompany me for a walk?" She said and chuckled.
I blinked fast. I couldn't let her that I…
"I'm sorry." She said looking at me again.
"Are you?" I asked frostily but my words were already just like winters these days.
They could have been colder.
"I really am this time…" She smiled. "Can we please talk?"
"Okay." Now my voice completely melted. "But if you try something…"
"Not this time!" She replied and I almost believed her. "I want to be honest with you."
"Really? Thank you... And also... Don't you think it's kinda late for that?" Her smile instantly faded as she realized she couldn't fool me this time. "Or maybe did you plan to mention… Raisins, envelope, and chocolate? Or did you just intend to let me forget that?"