Chapter • 31

♱ •⋅ 1750 B.C. ⋅• ♱

"Thank you" I heard Callisto say leaning the door when Loren was asleep in his bed, the pink quartz eyes stared at me as if trying to understand at what point I had begun to change.

Would he be very surprised if he found out that Asra had not changed? If I found out the whole truth, starting with all that being a novel in my world?

"No need to thank me" I spoke with one hand on his shoulder "even if he has to suffer so much, Loren is a lovely child and anyone who can be near him is a very lucky being."

Callisto nodded, but his lips arched briefly.

"But... I thought I hated children" he provoked me and closed my eyes tightly.

Asra really hated children and specifically the son of Callisto who "took" all the emperor's free time, but as far as I remembered, Asra also hated the poor, the weak and those who were not born with talents. She could be many things, but someone kind and gifted with great empathy was not one of them, so I forced a smile.

"I don't think I hate them all after all," I said crossing my arms over my chest and Calisto laughed.

"Don't you hate them all?"

"No" I said looking away "only the majority, did not see that my best friend is Asmodeus?"

The king looked at me as if he did not expect that comparison, but when he understood it, his commonly serious face fell apart in a big smile.

"You're right" he said as he waited for me to leave and closed Loren's door carefully "Prince Asmodeus is really a child."

"Spoiled as one" I mocked, after all before speaking of Asmodeus than of myself.

"Ai... Ai..." Calisto smiled "when did you change so much?" He asked as we walked side by side in the corridor and I could feel the king's eyes fixed on me.

I wasn't expecting that question, I wasn't expecting him to be so direct about his thoughts. After all it was Calisto and he always seemed to keep everything to himself.

I tried to clear my head while thinking of a way to change the subject, but he leaned lightly on my shoulder.

"Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a bad change."

I smile.

"I know you don't."

He sketched a brief relief and soon looked at me as if waiting for the answer, but what should I answer? " Ah, I think the changes happen when you get into a crazy person's body and decide to use this opportunity to change everyone's life, you know? How to play God?"

I would die if I said something stupid like that and I would die even faster if he understood that now I wasn't even Asra, so he smiled. He just smiles.

"I think changes are gradual" I said trying to look convincing, trying to use one of those boring coach chats "one day, you wake up and decide that you're going to do something small differently, like do your hair or change your earrings, the next day... well, you decide to change your pillows, maybe a hair ornament. Next thing you know, things around you are completely different and you finally left who you were behind."

Calisto stared at me, part of you seemed really interested in what I was talking about.

"I guess I should have noticed the small changes" he muttered seeming to feel guilty "in the end I'm the only one to blame for not seeing it, right?"

There was a smile on his lips, but there was nothing happy, happy or really true there. It was a smile he couldn't reach and would probably never reach his eyes.

The smile of someone who did not know very well what to feel, so I hurried to deny it.

"No, it's okay" I said with a hand on her shoulder "I don't think anyone expected a change, it's not like you could blame yourself for not noticing."

He really couldn't, after all Asra wouldn't change.

"Even so" he said and his eyes fixed on me again "I'm nobody... should have noticed."

That probably didn't mean anything, it was probably something that involved him and Asra, but it made my dumb little heart throb.

"I know" I muttered and then, smiled at him "but things have already happened, dear... it's no use crying for the milk that has already been poured, just... think about the future. I've changed, so... it's part of it."

He nodded.

"That's why I'll pay more attention in the future" he spoke as a person determined to change and although one part of me rejoiced at this - probably one where Asra had great influence -, another seemed to worry.

It was not good for Callisto to pay so much attention to Asra, after all this meant that we would lose part of our fragile freedom.

How the hell would I unmask Azrael if the king was always on my tail? How could I get proof of that fallen man's betrayal if the man who has the most trust in that piece of shit is standing next to me? Watching me so faithfully?

I sighed.

I'd have to play dirty and probably feel guilty about it, but... who cares? I was Asra, right? At some point I had to get into character.

"Good" I said as I got closer to Calisto "as much as I like the idea of having your eyes and attention focused only on me, don't you think it's... a bad time for that?"

Calisto stared at me.

"A bad time, huh?"

I settled.

"There are humans out there trying to tarnish your image, people being taken from distant places as "tributes"and we do not know what they are doing with them, a saint awakened in front of the cathedral of Samael as a clear symbol of resistance and in the end, we still did not find the last survivors of the church" I spoke slowly "but... still in the midst of all this there is Loren."

Calisto now seemed tense, as if afraid of my next words, then smiles.

"You have too much work, so... pay attention to him. He's just a little kid, but he's not going to be a little kid forever. So enjoy."

The king's shoulders relaxed as soon as those words came out of my mouth and it was as if he had felt a huge weight being lifted off his back.

He was so relieved.

Relieved that that was all I had to say about Loren and for a moment I almost felt offended, I almost wished to curse him for thinking that I would say something bad about my little prince and then I remembered that at that moment I was Asra.

And Asra certainly would.

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