ED : Chapter 20: The Truth Hurts I

Coruscant, Jedi Temple

I hadn't planned for the eventuality of my Master knowing how the galaxy was slated to burn. 

I'd wondered plenty of times if I would ever see something break the seemingly impenetrable poise Dark Woman maintained despite the pain and regret I knew the Jedi Master continued to feel over the fate of Aurra Sing.

Yet hearing one sob she choked back as I watched one tear trickle into one of the lines about her still vibrantly blue eyes was somehow worse than witnessing a more complete breakdown. 

All the other facets of the grim future I'd outlined had been met with grim equanimity or simple resignation, but hearing how her beloved Jedi Order had essentially walked of it's own volition to the headsman's block, laid down it's head, and only realized the peril after the axe had fallen was a truth which had clearly cut her to the bone.

It wasn't going to turn out that way, this time. Something I'd been quick to point out, because she'd looked so pained and forlorn for several very long moments of silence. 

Dark Woman had been quick to put it all in sufficient perspective for her lifetime of self-discipline to assist in the regaining of her previous centered calm, but for me it had all been disturbingly revealing. 

Seeing what it was like for someone who'd made their entire life a matter of service to the Jedi ways and ideals as they faced up to the chinks in Order's armor, and the flaws in it's methodologies. Thankfully, the discussion hadn't needed to go on for much longer. 

Ending as my Master had bidden me return to my own quarters and prepare for our early morning departure. Presumably leaving her to meditate on everything she'd learned. 

I'd started for the door almost eagerly, because I was still not entirely reconciled to the fact I'd taken the most enormous of chances with the galaxy's fate, or that I'd done so not as part of a well reasoned out response to the threat posed by the Sith. 

It was all due to my not being able to stand lying to the one person I felt a genuine connection with any longer.

Just before I could make my escape, however, my Master lobbed a couple of final questions at me. Causing me to have to stop and consider something I truly hadn't put the enormous amount of thought into one might have expected.

"Has it all been a matter of reaching a point where someone would believe you about the Sith, Anakin? I'm not doing anything but stating a fact, when I say I've never seen a Padawan work harder than you do. 

Is it all a matter of your feeling beholden to the Force, or is there something more?"

I looked back over my shoulder rather than turning, because I didn't want this to become a protracted discussion of matters I simply wasn't ready to talk about. 

There were many ways I could have answered Dark Woman's questions, but ultimately I decided the personal details weren't as germane as what I wanted to accomplish, and what really drove me to continue when the pain and strain were more than I'd ever experienced.

"I want to do more than simply save the Jedi from being exterminated by the current Sith plot, Master. 

I want to help effect positive change in the Order's ways, but doing that peacefully means winning the respect of all the Jedi, and convincing them I know what I'm talking about. The Jedi are my heroes, but sometimes heroes need to be saved from themselves" I answered forthrightly after a moment to organize my goals into streamlined statements.

In spite of myself and the grim pall hanging over this conversation, I had to smile briefly, then, as another thought bubbled up. One which I thought might cheer the old woman still coming to terms with the disaster in need of preventing. 

"Besides, who wouldn't want to be a Jedi? Jedi Guardians get to roam the galaxy, combat evil directly, and right wrongs no one else can. 

All while enjoying a profound physical, mental, and spiritual connection to the wellspring of all life. It seems like a very rewarding way to spend my life."

The smile my comment elicited was weak yet genuine, so I inclined my head respectfully and slipped from the room. Allowing the door to hiss shut behind me, as I quickly padded to my own room kitty-corners to my Master's. 

My own smile had faded as I walked, because one series of thoughts kept bouncing about the inside of my head even after I'd reached my quarters and hurried inside.

"I took an unconscionable risk with the galaxy's future. It doesn't really matter that it turned out for the best, this time. I had, I have no right to put my personal needs ahead of the tens of trillions of people who will suffer and die if Palpatine becomes Emperor."

It didn't take me long to finish storing for travel both the trio of small droids and the control interface I'd been able to build over the last month. Being able to requisition credits and materials for an actual mission (once my Master approved my requests) had proven to be rather awesome. 

Opening up avenues of design and construction I didn't normally have access to when scrounging and working off of my own modest Padawan's stipend. 

Access to the Temple's machining division beneath the main hangar had permitted me to complete three recon-drones shaped like dragonflies the size of small hawks in the time it would have taken me to finish one of them on my own. 

Droid fabricators and component-printing eliminated a huge amount of the drudge work. Now, I had something to genuinely contribute to the mission. Damn those who looked at me like some kind of freak for being able to alter designs and construct complex technological devices at my tender age. 

It had to be some rare and poorly understood aspect of Force-sensitivity, because how these things went together, or should go together simply came to me.

The rest of my belongings didn't take long to pack, then I was able to throw myself down on my bed. Sleep proved rather elusive, however, and this despite today having been a triple physical segment day. 

I was far enough along in my Matukai training to go without sleep for seven or eight days straight and suffer no ill effects, but doing so felt irresponsible when most of my visions came during slumber. 

I'd eventually split the difference and begun sleeping every third day, so I could squeeze in an extra forty hours of self-study each week during the night.

"Not my nighttime routine since we began our stay here in the Temple, but they were still hours and a monthly stipend exceptionally well-spent" I thought with cold black humor. Considering a saying a certain spymaster in Sidious's employ was desperately in need of hearing.

"Pride goeth before a fall, Kinman. I only wish I could be there to watch the master you've served with such obsessive devotion for all these years kill you when he discovers what you've missed. 

The irony being that you could have effortlessly won our little undeclared shadow war for control of the Temple's droids and the few audio-visual pickups you've managed to insinuate into the Temple. 

You have almost infinite financial and technical resources, after all. Nothing has challenged your dominance over the flow of information within the Temple in more than ten years, so you let yourself grow so complacent you aren't even checking to remain sure your subverted droid bug-carriers are still properly subverted. 

Just so long as those audio pickups keep feeding you intel, right?"

It had taken the half-dozen droids I'd built on Cophrigin V nearly four weeks with my assistance to create an information black hole concerning the mission to Mimban. 

I could have gone faster, but using Force-based shenanigans to ensure my droids weren't getting spotted or otherwise detected by the spymaster's surveillance took planning, patience, and an almost anal-retentive attention to detail. 

If I hadn't done four more full sweeps after I was "positive" I'd caught everything, I would have missed the bug under Yoda's favored meditation-seat in the Room of a Thousand Fountains. 

All of this had been greatly helped along by the fact that security in the Temple was actually nearly air-tight. Having just a couple of easy to address blind-spots which had been taken advantage of by Palpatine's ultimately self-taught spymaster. 

It hadn't all been me, either. Discretely pestering the Temple Guardians had eventually resulted in, as the irony of the century, the Jedi Knight who would be remembered as THE Inquisitor by a legion of Rebels fans realizing there really was a problem with the Temple's e-security. 

I had Dark Woman's backup (as usual) to thank for that one, but the thought of what was going to happen gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling as I settled in and got comfortable in my bed.

Not that I'd actually eliminated any of Kinman Doriana 's handiwork. Why do half the bastard's work for him and send up a red flag that things had changed, when I could simply ensure nothing about Yoda leading a Jedi contingent off-planet reached the bastard?

"I really won't be all that sorry about leaving the Temple behind though. The constant scrutiny, getting ostracized by four-fifths of my peers, and being constrained in my training has given me a new appreciation for what Anakin went through." 

These were my last coherent observations, before I was finally able to still my mind enough to drop off to sleep.

...

I'll appreciate if you guys can throw some power stones to keep the story going.

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