His Hidden Side

[Adrian's POV]

"I need to go."

"You've said that, like ten minutes ago."

Adrian scratched the back of his newly showered head as uncertainty rooted him on the bed. He needed to go home, but the warmth on his side was telling him to stay. Adrian kicked the covers off. The navy shorts that was too small for him stretched uncomfortably against his skin.

Johan gave him a funny look when he didn't make any attempt to stand. His eyes sweep the yellow basketball shirt that didn't match the shorts he lent him. What can he do? He's not as slender as Johan to fit in his clothes.

"Why are you laughing?"

"I'm not." Johan covered his mouth, but Adrian could see the side of his eyes crinkling with mirth.

"You are obviously laughing."

"I'm... really not," Johan repeated, trying his hardest to sport a poker face, but failing. Adrian reached for his waist to tickle him, but Johan swatted his hand away. "Don't, fucker."

That little curse only prompted Adrian to latch onto his leg. It earned him a surprised yelp that was so worth to hear. Johan rolled and leaped out of the bed.

Now he had to get up. Adrian stretched an arm to catch him before he could dash out of the room. "I didn't know you're sensitive, Han. Come back here. I need to know where I can tickle you most."

"No! Go away, you jerk!"

An evil grin made its way to his face. Hazel eyes widened slightly and Johan sprinted to the living room. Adrian chased after the scurrying man. He caught him before he could reach the bathroom and locked himself inside.

Johan tried to wiggle out of his grasp. A beautiful giggle bubbled out of his mouth, but he tried to suppress it with a growl. Cute. "No! Adrian, stop! Argh!"

"Not until you said I'm the boss!" Adrian's fingers attacked the both sides of his torso, and laughter filled the kitchen.

"Adrian... Haha.. Seriously, stop. You win..." Johan gasped for air. An attractive carmine spread across his neck and cheeks as he whizzed.

Adrian stopped his torture and hugged Johan from behind. "You should laugh more, Han. I love hearing you laugh."

Johan took a relieved breath. "If I have a reason to, I will."

"Can I be the reason for your happiness?"

He snorted. "Ew, so cheesy."

"What was that?" Adrian dug his fingers to his side, eliciting another fit of giggles.

"No! No! Yes! I said, yes!"

"Good."

Johan twisted around to face him, a toothy smile plastered on his face. It was the first time Adrian saw him smile like this. With his arms still around the slender waist, Adrian pulled Johan closer.

"I want to stay like this." Adrian whispered. "I want to know more of you."

"But you already know me."

"No. I mean, I want to know the real you. The one you're hiding from us."

The spark in his eyes dimmed a little, and Johan's smile faltered. "You wouldn't be saying that once you know who I really am."

Intrigued, Adrian furrowed his brows. "What do you mean?"

Cold fingers reached for his face, and Johan leaned in for a kiss. It seared him, but before he could respond, Johan already pulled away. "How about we eat lunch first before you go?"

Bafflement crossed his face when Johan spun and grabbed a pot. He was teasing him again, wasn't he? It's another reason why he doesn't want to leave. Adrian wanted to stay here and witnessed more of Johan's side he doesn't know.

Putting both arms on either side of Johan's waist, he trapped him on the kitchen's granite-colored countertop. "But I feel like eating something else for lunch." he whispered to his ears.

Johan turned his head and raised an eyebrow, his lips quirking in a lopsided grin. "Pervert."

"Says the one who groped me yesterday."

"I was—" Johan whipped his head to hide his embarrassment, but his blush has spread to his ears. "I just got caught up in the moment."

"Hmm?" Adrian sniggered, pressing their body close. "Shouldn't you be taking responsibility? You kinda left me hanging."

"Go jerk off in the bathroom."

"Oh, come on, Han." Adrian growled in exasperation. "You're not a maiden keeping her virginity safe from me. I know you have experience. Yesterday OW—!"

Johan elbowed him in the stomach, his cheeks flaming up even more. "That does not mean I'll just spread my legs for you. It hasn't been a day. Let's save that for later."

"And when exactly is later?"

"Why are you so eager to have sex? Does Rhia—" Johan paused, looking away. He seemed to have figured it out, and his expression turned grave, dissolving the happy atmosphere they have. "Is this the reason why you wanted an affair with me?"

"No! I mean... Kinda?" Adrian felt like hitting his head on the counter. Fuck! He just sabotaged himself with his own mouth. "Han, I didn't—!"

"It's fine. I get it."

"No! No! Don't misunderstand! I'd love to have sex, but that's not—!"

Johan shut him up with a rough kiss. A hand fisted the yellow basketball shirt he's wearing and another on his nape, gripping his hair with force. When Johan pulled away, the warmth in his eyes were gone. "You should have said that from the very beginning, you only wanted sex."

"Han—!" Adrian raised his hands to hold Johan's arms, but he slapped it away. Dread gripped his stomach with invisible claws.

"It must have been frustrating to be in a relationship with no sex." Johan's darkened hazels punctured him with coldness. "Rhia's a virgin, isn't she?"

Adrian gulped but forced an answer. "... Yeah. She wanted to stay pure until marriage."

Johan puffed an annoyed sigh and pushed himself up to sit on top of the kitchen counter. "I can't say I'm surprise. Many girls have embraced the liberated lifestyle nowadays. But Philippines is still a conservative country at heart." He shot him a look. "You're so lucky to have her."

Adrian was at lost for words. Just a moment ago, they were being playful and romantic. The next, Johan's being cold and vindictive. Not that he could blame him. But he changed gears so fast and Adrian's having a hard time to catch up.

Adrian rubbed his palms over his face in frustration. "Han, I'm sorry. Let's talk about this. Let's not ruin what we started."

"Yeah? Why don't we just get this over with." Johan jumped off of the counter, grabbed his hand and led him out of the kitchen. For a second, Adrian thought Johan's throwing him out of the house, but he made him sit on the leather couch. "Wait here."

"Han—!"

The slamming of the door cut the next word off of his mouth. Cold sweat formed across his nape as shuffling could be heard behind the closed door. Johan emerged again and dropped a bottle of lube and a condom beside him. His eyes widened.

"W-we don't have to do this, Han." Adrian grabbed the shaking hand. "I told you I won't do anything you don't want. I'm just trying to—!"

"But this is something that I want." Johan removed Adrian's hold and pulled the string of his pajama bottoms. "You don't have any idea how many sexual fantasies I've had with you in this couch and in every corner of my apartment."

Adrian lost his ability to speak at the revelation. Fear and excitement swirled in his gut when Johan removed the white long-sleeve shirt he's wearing, exposing the beautiful light tan, perky nipples and toned stomach. The hickey he left on his shoulder glared at him in a purplish hue.

Johan clambered on Adrian's lap with just his red boxers, re-enacting their previous position before they got interrupted with Rhia's call.

But it felt different. Rage emanated from the half-naked body on top of him. There was no ounce of passion in his stare.

"Honestly, I still feel a little guilty for doing this." Johan cupped Adrian's face, pressing a light kiss on his lips. The tip of his tongue travelled to the shell of his ears, and down to his neck. Despite the sensual touches, his voice lacked emotion. "But if it's to help a girl keep her purity until marriage, then I don't mind being your whore, Adrian."

It's as if someone poured his body a cold bucket of water. Adrian grabbed Johan's shoulders and gently pushed him away, shaking his head. "Please don't call yourself like that."

"But that's what I am in your eyes."

" No. No. I'm sorry." Adrian pulled him in a hug and buried his face in Johan's exposed chest, trying to quell the rage he caused. He wanted to make love, not have sex with no strings attached. "I'm just trying to be affectionate. I'm neither forcing you to have sex, nor I'm just here for that. I'm sorry."

"Liar." Johan's face remained blank. He bit his lower lip and looked away, chest heaving from anger. So this is how he got mad, huh? He climbed out of Adrian's lap and grabbed his clothes. "Go home, Adrian."

"What about lunch?"

"Go have lunch by yourself."

Fuck! He really messed up. Adrian groaned, his crotch ached from being denied attention for the third time. Or was it forth? Fifth?

Eventually, Adrian had to leave the threshold. He was inside the bus thirty minutes after Johan told him to fuck off. The whirlwind of drama and frustration seemed like a faraway dream. If it wasn't for the kiss that still lingered on his lips, he would have been convinced that it was.

The afternoon sun shone through the window of the bus, blinding him as he watched the scenery below the cliff. Subic Bay wasn't something special. Growing up with easy access to the sea had taken away the excitement. But as he flashed back to yesterday and today's event, it made him want to go back.

"Shit—!" Adrian paused when the old lady beside him shot a disapproving look. "Sorry."

They forgot to discuss the status of their relationship. Johan told him to keep it a secret, which Adrian understood. He'd rather not deal with the disapproving looks either. But after Johan threw a fit, he didn't get the chance to open up the topic.

And what should he do with Rhia? It would be a shame to throw away their relationship of five years over something... unsure. Adrian pressed his lips together, resisting the urge to curse.

He couldn't decide.