Stork Family Dessert

Stork Household

Today was an unexpected day for Lola Stork. She didn't expect to make a new friend at a church. She didn't expect to find a demon in a church. She wasn't expecting a long-lost aunt to suddenly pay them a visit, nor was she expecting that same aunt and a band of mustached pirates to hold their family at gunpoint. The least surprising thing was that her aunt had three eyes.

"Bartie, when you talked about your sister, I think you left out a few details." Virginia said.

"Let me guess." Lala Stork said. "He forgot to mention my psychotic nature, didn't you? Well, let's give everyone a look." She grabbed her own head and pulled out a strip of film. The four studied the film and saw images of an 8-year-old Lala in a flower dress. Bullies were putting tape over her forehead eye and drawing a left eye where it should be. They were followed by scenes of Bartie gently pulling the tape off and washing the marker off.

"He told us about that."

"Did he tell you about this part?" A few scenes later, the bullies were creeping up on Lala again. The girl drew a knife and ran to stab them, her eyes full of malice. Bartie tried to restrain her as the injured bullies ran, dripping blood.

"Well, excuse me if I didn't want people to think my little sister was a murderer!" Bartie shouted.

Lala aimed her gun at his forehead. "Is THAT why you never tried to find me?"

"What?! Of course I tried, I had dozens of operatives on the case!"

"Well, here I am, Bartie! And in case you have trouble seeing me, let me help you out." She pulled the trigger.

"BARTIE- eh?" Ginny tried to save him, but realized no bullet came out. Just spoke and confetti.

The father was frozen and pale with shock. "FOOLED YA!" Lala glomped her brother in a hug, the two whirling in place. "You fell for the old Confetti Gun trick!"

"Uh. . ." Bartie's cheeks reddened.

"Aw, I missed you too, Biscuit."

"Biscuit?" Ginny questioned.

"That's my… middle name." Bartie sighed.

"PFFFFAH HAH HAH HAH!" Ginny fell on the floor laughing. "BISCUIT! No wonder you like buttered toast so much!"

"Alright, drop the prop guns, boys." Lala told the pirates. "It's time for dessert!" The men dropped their clothes and revealed to be sentient forks, knives, and utensils with eyes and colored handles.

They set a curtain over the dining room table as the utensils brought all kinds of cakes, pies, and dessert down, playing jaunty Italian music for the five family members. "Yo, what's with the walking silverware?" Ginny asked.

"They're Volbonans." Lala answered. "Native to Sweetopia and Mushroom Kingdom. Their entire culture revolves around culinary."

Lola and Virginia were served red cake with vanilla icing. "Strawberry?" Lola asked.

"Take a closer look." Lala smirked devilishly.

Ginny sniffed her cake. "It's… blood!" She took a bite. "DELICIOUS BLOOD!!"

"Fresh from the remains of enemy pirates!" Lala winked. "I was in the audience during Field Day and learned that my niece was a vampire. It was a real big gamble, because no one else would've loved that type of cake. Now, before I forget, I have to give Lola her invitation." She handed her niece a letter sealed with the Big Mom Jolly Roger. "Since I gave one to the rest of you."

Lola cut it open with her teeth and skimmed it. "'You have been invited to the Linlin Family Reunion Tea Party on February 15. Attendance is ABSOLUTELY REQUIRED.' Hold on, isn't Linlin Big Mom's last name?!"

"Maybe I should explain." Lala said. "Starting with when I went missing. When Bartie was at Moonbase one day, I went out for a walk by myself." She pulled the film strips out of her mind to give them a visual. "And I was approached by these men in yellow contamination suits. They told me I had a dangerous disease and wanted to take me to a professional doctor to cure it. I felt my eye for a moment and… chose to believe them."

22 years ago

Lala was with a group of other children on a boat, all of whom looked detestably at her. They were taken to a laboratory on a snowy island and brought to a white-skinned scientist in a pink coat of gas.

"HUUUUUU-!" Caesar Clown was royally aghast at seeing her. "Your EYE! It's…It's beautiful!" He started weeping, bending over and lightly brushing his hand over it.

"Y-You think my eye is… beautiful?"

"The most beautiful I've ever seen!" I couldn't let a freak like this go to waste! But if I do, she'll start to get suspicious. Well, maybe I can do other experiments with her. "Let me just take a couple samples of your blood, dearie."

About a day later, Caesar received a call, and the I.D. read BIG MOM. He answered, "Hello, Big Mom! Can I help you?"

"Caesar! I just ran a DNA test with all the samples you sent. I found a match! Tell me whose blood was in Sample 4-I!"

"Sample 4-I? That was Lala, because of her forehead eye. Wait, you mean she's actually related to you?"

"Yes. There's no doubt she possesses the Sweet Gene. I'm sending some crewmen to get her. Have her ready to go in two hours."

"Hold on, Charlotte! You know I can't have her go blabbing about my secret operation. She's still convinced she has a disease."

"I'll make sure she stays quiet, no need to fear."

"Oh, very well. …But at least allow me to make her face a bit more symmetrical." Caesar smirked.

Before she knew it, Lala was being taken away on another boat. She was given an "orange" that looked like an eye, having been told it was medicine. Lala believed the doctor, for it tasted horrible. She consumed the whole fruit and felt an unusual pain on the left of her face. A small part of the skin tore open and became a third eye.

Later, Big Mom sent Caesar a photo of her new look. He hugged it to his chest delightedly, adored by the cute little freak.

Current time

"Big Mom told me I had the Sweet Gene." Lala explained. "It's discernible, but harmless traces of the Candy Virus passed down all the way from Sherry Linlin, our ancestor."

"So, like, we're related to Cheren and the Unos, too?!" Lola asked.

"True, but they could be very distant relatives. After all, Sherry has hundreds, maybe thousands of descendants, but only a few of them kept the Linlin name after 5,000 years. It was all part of a family prophecy. Sherry was in love with all the different races in the universe, figuratively and literally. Her dream was to create a utopia where all the races could live together, and breed children with every known race. Of course, there are countless types out there, and Sherry didn't live long enough to mate with them all. So, it was decreed that, one day, Sherry would be revived, and she would have a long-awaited tea party with all her multi-racial descendants. Hm hm, I see you've done your part, Bartie." She ruffled Lola's hair. "You have vampire children! Well, this one, at least."

"But why didn't Big Mom try to find me or our parents?" Bartie asked.

"I knew the KND was important to you, and I was afraid the pirates would hurt them if they knew you were a part of it. So, I convinced Big Mom that I was abandoned because of my eye, and that I didn't know my family. I'm a terrific actor, you know!" Her forehead winked. "But now that the Kids Next Door made their selves enemies of the crew, well, that fear doesn't matter to me now. Still, here's the weirdest part of it all: our family's other objective was to create Candied Planet, where we would rule. Big Mom tried to turn the Earth into Candied Planet, but there was already a planet made of food and sweets called Sweetopia! And none of us learned about it until recently."

Terry and Lola exchanged knowing looks. In truth, Sweetopia was created by Augustus Fizzuras, when they were designing the planets for the New Universe. How ironic that the Linlin Family truly did create their ideal world.

"But now that you mention it, Bartie, why didn't YOU try to find me?"

"Lala, I DID try to find you! We sent operatives everywhere and none of them came up with anything. The search went on for years, and eventually… I lost hope of ever finding you."

"Oh, Bartie… I'm sorry for worrying you. I was really debating if I should've told them about you. But I think I can make up for it now. You see, I paired up with the stragglers of the crew and went to explore Sweetopia. It seemed that other distant members of the family already found it and were awaiting Sherry's return. Family members are treated like royalty and we even get assigned our own territories. I was given a town of my own along with my own chocolate factory! You know what that means, Bartie? We can all live the life of luxury!"

"But we don't wanna move to Sweetopia." Lola said. "We have Kids Next Door duties."

"She's right." Bartie replied. "I mean, we're too used to it here. And I don't think switching our diet to all sweets is a good idea…"

"Well, you don't have to move there. That being said, though, you really don't want to miss the tea party. Queen Sherry may be sweet, but she… eh… she gets upset pretty easy. And it's not pretty." Sweat trickled down her face. "But as long as you do what she says, you get to go home in one piece. Which reminds me…" Lala closed her eyes. "I'm unofficially engaged."

"Really? To who?"

"She didn't say." Lala smiled sheepishly. "Queen Sherry says it's to expand our power. It's a political marriage."

"Man, those are the worst." Virginia said. "Are you okay with that?"

"Of course I'm not, but what choice do I have?"

"Well, if you really have no choice, maybe I can be your maid of honor!"

"And I'll be the flower girl!" Lola offered. "And Terry can be the ring-bearer!"

"You can't be serious!" Terry argued.

"Aww, you guys are really sweet. But I guess that is in our genes, hehe!"

After everyone was full, they put the leftovers in the fridge. The family gathered outside as the Volbonans were climbing a ladder to their flying candy ship (which had cinnamon roll propellers). "Anyway, I'm sorry I have to leave so soon, but I don't want to cause a panic. I'm sure your sector is probably calling for help right about now, hm hm! I'll come to pick you up on the day before the party."

"I'm really glad I got to see you again, Lala." Bartie said, hugging his sister. "Even if you are working for an extremely dangerous pirate."

"Hm hm, well you know what they say: it's a pirate's life for me. …I'll see you later, Biscuit."

"You too, Pudding." Bartie blushed.

"Hehehe, I'm never letting that go." Ginny snickered.

The four waved her off as Lala climbed to the deck and sailed up to the sky. "…You didn't really buy that sweet act, did you?" Terry whispered to Lola.

"Not really, dude."

Great Grandma's Throne

"So, Minister Goomnut, what's the status of my wedding invites?" Queen Sherry asked, chewing a bundle of cinnamon rolls. Her titanic form was highlighted orange by her sun, Prometheus.

"Let's see." The Goomba looked off a list. "The Stork Family just accepted their invitation. The search is still on for Augustus Fizzuras and his crew, and we haven't yet sent the invitations to the Uno and Bean Families."

"And the marriage proposals?"

"Ah, yes, um… It seems Princess Éclair of Mushroom World's Waffle Kingdom has agreed to marry Vick Chestnut. We have yet to set up a meeting between Diana Cavendish of Planet Avalar and Jaune Pringle. And Jack Skellington of Nightmare Land has so far refused to marry Lala Stork. But seeing as Darkrai is out of commission, kidnapping his Sally friend should be a cakewalk."

"Cake~! Cake~! Cake~! Cake~! Cake~!" Sentient cakes were singing on the plate beside the queen.