A Newbie's Quest, Part 6: I Wanted to Show my Friends

The Bio Program Project. By implanting Programs into mortal bodies, it will enable them to adapt to the real world without need of a computer source. With this means, perhaps we will be able to help the Core enter reality. However, implanting the Core in its entirety will destroy the host with its overwhelming chi. For that reason, only a small fraction of the Core's chi was taken.

We've selected a candidate for the study, a married woman, but to avoid questions or interference, she will remain unaware of the truth. When she comes for a medical exam, we will implant the codes inside her in secret. She will undergo pregnancy and simply believe it to be hers and her husband's doing. The "code" will be born as a human, but because their chi comes from the Core, there will likely be a surplus in Hinobi Glitches. In time, however, the Core may be able to enter reality, so long as the subject adapts. Until then, we will study them from afar.

"A Bio Program… designed to be born and raised as a human?" Phil mumbled to himself. "I've never seen the Hinobi Core… but what's this talk about bringing it to reality? Why? Plus… who is this 'subject,' anyway? Would I… know them?"

He looked up when the door ringed. The store was otherwise clear of customers during this twilight hour… but Phil gasped, recognizing the woman entering. "Inspector Seven!"

"Please, Phil!" the pudgy woman chortled jovially. "Call me Barbara."

"Heh, Barbara…" Phil smiled anxiously, expecting nothing shy of a bad outcome under these circumstances. "What brings you out to this little galaxy?" he asked, quickly and subtly closing the document he was looking at.

"Why, for a special inspection, of course. I've come as a personal escort to a very special guest. Oh, the coast is clear, sir! There are no other customers!"

"I've already sensed." A thin man walked in. He had a white suit and coat, black pants, metallic eyes, and gray hair. "Still, you can't be too careful. Not all things share their aura freely."

"Puh…" Phil couldn't help but gawk. "President… Kayaba. A-Are you… Sir…"

"Good evening, Mr. Altiere. I wanted to personally see how our shops were fairing on this… special little planet. There haven't been any problems, have there?"

"Uh, no, no, no problems." Phil glanced about nervously.

"But Phil, we've heard that a team of Hinobi agents were sent here with a Memory Drive." Barbara said.

"Okay, there's been a few glitches, but everything's being taken care of. You have nothing to worry about!" He sported a grin, but deep down, he knew he was doing a bad job at hiding it.

"Yes, well… we'll hear a full report from the agents, once they return."

"Eh heh heh…oh boy."

Sector Q

"Voom, voom…voom, voom…" Jenny was crouched down and rolling around the living room, Quill's car in hand as she rolled it with her. "Uh-oh! The Sitting Nerd is blocking the highway!" She stopped the car at Edward's blue shoes. "Once he's on his computer, he's unmovable!"

"I'm glad she didn't put that helmet on me." Eddy said. "That just looks so humiliating, Quill."

"Just lift your feet." Quill demanded. Eddy did so, allowing Jenny to keep vrooming.

Drake and Carmine were watching over the unconscious Quill's real body, tied to a chair. "Now that we told Cheren to pass on the info… you think they'll still help Quill?" Carmine asked.

"They shouldn't really find out until after they fix Quill. But even then, I hope we didn't just sign up for a war with Hinobi."

"Me, too…"

"Guys!" They turned to Miko as she jogged in from the hangar. "I saw a Hinobi Truck coming! I think Five is here!"

"Is it just Five?" Drake inquired.

"I don't know…" Miko's face fell with the consideration. "But we'd better go greet them, anyway."

A smallish truck designed with Hinobi's tech and colors was flying into the hangar. Miko beamed, recognizing a familiar face behind the windshield. That same face seemed to shine upon seeing her. "FIVE!"

"Miko!" Her old friend jumped out of the truck and ran to embrace her in a hug.

"I knew you would bring the Memory Drive! It wasn't too hard, was it?"

"Uh, actually…"

"Oh, Miko, Miko, Miko." None other than Mitch Williams marched out of the truck. "Not even a week and you're crying to us for help."

"M…Mitch?" Miko released the hug.

"Yeah, I couldn't really get the Memory Drive without getting the team involved." Five admitted.

"Hey, Miko!" called a Muslim girl with a hijab and Hinobi armor. "Are these your new teammates?"

"Are these guys gamers, too?" asked a husky, African-American boy. "I wonder how they rank?"

"Have they checked out any of our games?" asked a thin boy with red, curly hair. They were all wearing Hinobi armor.

"Wow, I didn't expect the whole gang to be here!" Miko smiled. "Guys, this is Sector Q! Drake, Quill, Eddy, Carmine, and Jenny. Sector Q, that's High Five, Bergy," the curly-haired boy, "Zahra," the Muslim girl, "Haneesh," the African boy, "and…"

"That's right! Mitch Williams, the one and only~" The blonde, dark-skinned boy boasted. "Aren't you newbs lucky to be alive today?"

"Uh, we're not newbs." Drake inferred. "We've been around for years. Been on lots of missions, suffered some wounds."

"Yes, well experience speaks louder than words," Mitch passively surveyed the team, "and I—GOOD GAME GRUMPS, what is that?!" he panicked at seeing Carmine. "You better not have a disease!"

"No, I lost my skin in an accident. I have to wear this or else everything really hurts. Anyway, could you please fix our friend?" She gestured to Quill's car in Jenny's hands.

Mitch cocked a brow at the tiny boy in the car, then at the same boy tied to a chair. "Hah. I knew I was right not to trust that thing. Mini karts are for newbs."

"I could beat you at racecars any day!" Quill shouted.

"Aww, and he tawks, too!" Mitch cooed. "How cute~"

Drake marched up to envelop Mitch's vision. "You gonna fix him or not?"

"Fine, fine." Mitch withdrew a cord. "All we have to do is insert this end in the car," he tapped the square end, "and this end in the real body's ear." He tapped the plug end.

"This is gonna feel weird." Quill said.

"Well, I doubt you want to stay mini, so let's get this over with." Mitch plugged one end into the car and the other into Quill's ear. Energy began transferring through the car as Quill's holo-body began disappearing. The body was shaking as other energy transferred into the car as well.

"Nnnnnn…yah!" Quill's eyes shot open.

"Quill? Are you back?" Carmine asked.

"I…I think I am!"

"Wait, it could still be the glitch!" Jenny accused. "We gotta test it! Quill, when the Big Mom Pirates invaded Cleveland 3 years ago, which officer did you fight?"

"His name was Cracker. He had the power to conjure these biscuit soldiers. I actually worked with Kodama to beat him!"

"Okay, but which crewmen did WE fight?"

"I don't remember their names! I think Drake fought a firebending dude with long sleeves, Eddy fought some pumpkin-headed dude, Carmine fought a ladybug girl that was mocking her appearance, and Jenny… you fought some guy that looked like Elvis Presley?"

"Yeah, he sorta did!" Jenny laughed.

"Glad to have you back, buddy!" Drake untied him.

"No payment necessary, just praise is fine." Mitch boasted. "Now comes this part." And he readied to flash the memory-wipe-

The friends looked away as Miko jumped to block him, her eyes strict. The ERROR message flashed on Mitch's gauntlet. "Mitch, we need to talk."

"What are you doing, Miko? You know that other operatives can't-"

"Well, here's a news flash for you, buddy." Drake stepped up. "You're on Earth turf now. We play a different kind of game, and it's called, 'No Memory-Wiping.'"

"What the… Miko, you haven't been wiping them?!"

"Mitch, the mind-wiping needs to stop. These glitches are hurting Hinobi's customers and they need to know."

"That's not for you to decide, Miko! Do you know how much trouble you could be in?"

"Ain't you the one that transferred Miko?" Drake inquired. "You wanted to get rid of her, so she shouldn't have to play by your rules, anymore."

"The reason I did so in the first place was because she was trouble. You can't tell me you haven't had any problems with her."

"Not as many as we're having with you, newbie."

"Uck! Newbie?! Well, get this through your thick skull." Mitch jabbed the slightly shorter boy in the chest. "I'm an elite gamer that's battled with the greatest! I traded bullets with Sinon, the FPS Master. I traded fists with the Gamer Queen, Gaz Membrane. Even two of the Pirate Emperors, Kroctus and Mandy, were no match for me in Mario Kart! Because I," jab, "am MITCH," jab, "WILLIAMS-"

BAM! Drake's fist flew like a cannon, smashing Mitch's face into a crater. The boy flew back, headfirst against the truck as his teammates looked on in worry. "My NOOOOOOOSE!" He sprung up and screamed in a high pitch. "You broke my noooose! You bully!"

"Miko ain't a problem. Hinobi's the problem. And we're not having it, anymore." Drake vowed. "It was their choice to set up business on this world, but if we have to clean up their messes, we ain't letting people forget them."

"Yeah." Miko said. "People can't enjoy Hinobi games without knowing about the glitches. If Hinobi wants a good relationship with its customers, they should let their customers know and decide for themselves. Don't you think, Five?"

"Um…it's not that I don't agree, but… I was kinda hoping to visit, not start a rebellion." Five chuckled nervously. "Mitch, why don't we just let them go and-"

"No!" Mitch raised his gauntlet. "Teammates, arrest Miko and wipe their memories!"

"A-Arrest?" Zahra asked.

"You know mind-wiping doesn't work on her. We have to arrest and report her!"

"Er…" Zahra and the others hesitantly raised their gloves, except for Five. The Q operatives assumed battle poses, with Miko folding her arms in confidence. Five could only look between both groups in fear.

The floor seemed to bounce and quake under some heavy footsteps. "HEY, guys!" Sind Diego stomped into the hangar, followed by his teammates. "We heard some yelling! You guys aren't fighting, are you?" the leader asked, smirking down at Mitch's group.

"Hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hu…" Mitch nearly wet his pants before the giants, the six stopping directly behind Sector Q and staring down the Hinobi agents with total intimidation. "W-W-What are… these behemoths?!"

"Aw, yeah!" Miko cheered. "You didn't expect me to be friends with the strongest sector in the KND, did ya?! These giants were bred and raised in a lab, designed to squash all resistance!"

"We don't like to talk about the 'lab' part…" Sind said.

"Yeah, that's right! It's scary stuff! You don't mess with Sector GT, or they'll go, DHOMP, DHOMP, DHOMP, DHOMP!" Miko stomped her feet and hunched over like a monster.

"Sector GT?" Bergy asked. "Like… Glitch Techs?"

"Glitch Techs?" Uzu asked.

"Oh, that's their other name." Miko replied. "Wait… Sector GT, Glitch Techs… hah, that's kinda funny!"

"Wait, I know that guy!" Konbu pointed. "It's Mitch Williams!"

"WAAAAH!" Mitch cried as the giant bent down and snatched him off the floor.

"I watch your Let's Play videos! You're so cool!" Konbu said as he swung him about like a doll.

"LET GO! Let go of me, you oversized newb!" Mitch shook desperately until Konbu finally released him. "What the-?! I'm covered in donut goop! Disgusting!"

"We've made our point, Mitch." Miko said. "We appreciate you helping Quill… so, you can go now."

"Grr!" Mitch grit his teeth, staring Miko in the eyes. "…Hmph." With that, the leader returned to the truck. "Guys, let's go. This treehouse is too retro for my tastes."

The others shared concerned glances and boarded the truck. Five first turned to Miko. "Miko, I…I think what you're doing is cool, but… I don't think I could join you. You know my dad went to prison for hacking one of their games, right? I would just make more trouble for him if I…"

"I guess…" Miko rubbed her arm nervously. "Well, do you think you could still visit later?" She cracked a weak smile. "When Mitch isn't around? I promise they don't break everyone's noses."

"I'd like to, but…"

"Hurry up, Five!" Mitch honked the horn.

"Uh…I'll see you later, Meeks." Five regrettably boarded the truck, his friend bowing her head somberly. The 12 operatives watched as the truck took off from the hangar, flying into the fading twilight.

Miko looked over as little Quill held her left hand. "If the moment hasn't passed… I'll take that slushy now."

Miko giggled. "I'll be sure to get it in the morning."

"Do you want us to stick around in case they come back?" Ally asked.

"You can head home if you want." Drake answered. "Even if they do, we'll be fine."

"Yeah, we do take up a lot of room here." Doran figured.

"Hey, Ally, before you go, I just remembered something!" Miko said as she materialized her ostrich. "This is my pet, Ally! You have the same name!"

"Oh, wow! Haha, that's amazing!" Ally beamed, reaching down to pat the bird with her finger. "Hey there, Ally!"

"Hehe!" Sind giggled. "Let's hang out again later! Hopefully, things will be better by then."

After a few minutes, the giants reboarded their ship and left the treehouse as well, leaving far more breathing room for the Q's. "I think I'm gonna sleep in my house tonight." Miko said. "Check in with my family…"

"Yeah, they're probably worried about you." Drake replied. "Heh…I didn't make a bad first impression, did I?"

"Well, Mitch likes fighting games as much as any other." Miko shrugged. "If anything, you were flattering him!"

"I get the greeting next time!" Jenny cheered, raising a foot in a swinging position.

"Hehe, it's a promise!" Miko laughed. "Well… see you tomorrow, guys."

"Later, newbie~" Eddy winked.

Close to Hinobi Stop

"Ugh, that stupid Drake Bell wannabe!" Mitch grumbled, dabbing his nose with a washcloth. "I was going to start a stream tomorrow morning!"

"Hey, Mitch… what do you think about the memory-wiping thing?" Five asked.

"I don't really care about it. But Hinobi sponsors my videos, so I'm not about to stop for Miko's sake."

"I'm just a little worried about her. Because of her immunity, what if Hinobi tries to do something to her? Or her friends?"

"Whatever they do, it won't be our problem."

"Come on, you care about Miko deep down."

"Let's report to Phil that the mission was a success. And since I'm not looking to get in trouble, we'll feign ignorance about the memory thing."

"I guess so…" Bergy said worriedly.

They parked the van in the parking lot and crossed to enter Hinobi. "Phil," Mitch began, "we've successfully fixed the… they, yey, YAH?!" But he lost his train of thought immediately, the operatives gawking at the surprising guest in the store.

"Hello, Sector Hinobi." Kayaba greeted. "Everything's been fixed, has it?"

"President Kayaba! Ih, Ih, it's such an honor!" Mitch smiled and panted ecstatically. "I-I didn't have a chance to put on makeup, I…"

"The living legend!" Haneesh said. "What are you doing here, Sir?"

"A personal inspection." Kayaba answered. "My… that's quite a bruise you have." He acknowledged Mitch. "What happened?"

"Oh, uh…I tripped and hit my nose."

"You're also covered in what smells like donut glaze."

"I stopped by the donut store… where I tripped. Heh, it's not like I was punched by a brute and then grabbed by a giant kid or something!"

"Oh, Mitch." Zahra sighed.

Kayaba raised a Hinobi Gauntlet and aimed it at Mitch's. It displayed a hologram of Miko and the other operatives. "What the… Miko, you haven't been wiping them?!"

"Mitch, the mind-wiping needs to stop. These glitches are hurting Hinobi's customers and they need to know."

"That's not for you to decide, Miko! Do you know how much trouble you could be in?"

"Ain't you the one that transferred Miko? You wanted to get rid of her, so she shouldn't have to play by your rules, anymore."

"Um, not that I don't like my job," Bergy spoke meekly, "but that's kind of an invasion of privacy."

"Miko is not doing her job?" Kayaba inquired. "That's problematic…" He fast-forwarded through the rest of the scene. "And you five didn't detain her?"

"We couldn't just do that." Five said. "Miko is our friend. And, now that she's been transferred, she's technically outside our jurisdiction."

"Hmm…then perhaps letting her be transferred was a mistake. We've heard she could be quite a troublemaker. I guess it's much trickier to manage her in this environment, Phil."

"I mean, she's with her team most of the time, and they're not Hinobi." Phil shrugged.

"And did you know about this, Phil?"

"Ummmm, I…"

"Hmm…I think a meeting is in order."

"A meeting?"

"Yes. I would like to speak with Miss Kubota."

"B-But why?" Five asked worriedly.

"To determine if sending her here was the right decision. Phil, would you call her?"

"It's getting kinda late, she's probably eating dinner-"

"Come now, Phil, we haven't got all night." Barbara said.

"Sigh…okay."

"Ah, and Mitch… let me fix that for you." Kayaba aimed his glove at Mitch. The boy's head turned digitally as his nose seemed to blink back to normal.

"Whoa…thank you, Sir!"

"It won't last for long, but it should make breathing more comfortable for now."

Kubota Household

Miko joined her family in time for dinner. She sat across from her youngest sister, Lexi, still wearing her karate robe. The youngest brother, Lee was secretly giving his brussel sprouts to their large dog, Cloud, and their cat, Aerith. Cloud seemed to like them, but Aerith smacked them away.

Miko looked under the table as Lexi seemed to flick a paper ball over. Miko used her feet to unravel the ball and read the note: How's the glitch business going? Miko began scribbling on her own paper under the table. She balled it up and flicked it over, Lexi unfolding it. Kinda complicated.

"Girls, no passing notes under the table." Hugh said.

"So, are you enjoying your new friends, Miko?" Mayumi asked.

"Yeah! They've been pretty cool. We went to this skatepark, and we beat up some evil carnies, then it turned out the skatepark owner was evil, then we met a team of GIANTS, and…"

"Okay, slow down, kiddo." Hugh laughed. "Heh, Earth is certainly exciting. I heard there was an incident where a bunch of buildings and landmasses suddenly appeared in the sky? And it was right before we came here!"

"For being such a peaceful galaxy, a lot of dangerous things seem to happen here." Mayumi said. "I'm a little worried for you, Miko."

"I'll do fine, Mom! I've been a big help to them so far." Naturally, her parents didn't know anything about the Hinobi problems. They had always scolded her for being too obsessed with her games over school work, but if the truth about the glitches became public, it would certainly create some tension with her family. She didn't want to dump the truth out now.

"Still, ever since you've been in KND, it's been harder to schedule classes for you." Hugh mentioned. "I know that schools agreed to exempt operatives from class during missions, but we'd like you to have some form of education."

"But the KND teaches me a ton! Like… Lincolnville has a big jungle place because… the environment is well taken care of, compared to other, non-jungly places! Oh, and Guatemala's farmlands are so great that people grow to be giants! And, through use of physics, people can cartwheel on a thin rail on roller-blades, and… not fall?"

"Honestly, Dad," began Nica, the eldest sister, "I heard that most people forget 90% of the things they learned in school after graduating. Miko's probably learning way more than the rest of us, and busting villains as a bonus."

"I guess, given her academic difficulties, it's the best we could ask for." Mayumi said.

"You mean that she's stupid?" Lee asked.

"You're grounded, Lee." Hugh said.

Miko glared at her brother, falling silent as she ate her dinner. "Uh, hey, Miko!" Lexi spoke up, wanting to change the subject. "Have you met Maddy Murphy? Some of the playground kids talk about her."

"Yeah, I met her. Why?"

"I heard she's the toughest girl in town! I gotta challenge her to a match!"

"Heh, good luck with that. She uses Haki, which… I think makes her pretty strong."

It was then Miko felt her phone ringing. She pulled it out. "It's… from my boss."

"Oh, dear." Mayumi frowned in worry. "Well, you better answer it."

Miko answered, "Hello, Phil?"

"Hi, Miko. Sorry if we're interrupting something, but… we need you at the store for something important."

Miko clenched her teeth anxiously. "Uh…can I finish dinner first?"

"Yeah, sure. Just get here when you can."

"'kay…" She hung up. "They… need me for something."

"Hm hm, you sound pretty dependable." Mayumi smiled.

"Yeah, I know…" Miko forced a smile. "I hope I can get back soon…"

After finishing her dinner, Miko put her shoes on and walked outside. She gazed up toward the Sector Q treehouse, shadowed by the night. "…" She was about to summon Ally to make the ride to Hinobi Stop, but faced toward the treehouse again. She pulled out her phone and called, "Hey, guys? It's Miko."

"Hey, Miko. You need something?" Drake responded.

"I just got a call from Phil asking me to come to the store. He said that-"

"Alright, we're on our way!"

"No, you guys don't have to come. I was just letting you know-"

"Yeah yeah, we all know this is something suspicious." Quill interrupted. "Just hang tight and we'll back you up."

"It's just another standard operative tradition!" Carmine cheered. "It's standard protocol, Miko!"

"Haha…thanks, guys." Miko hung up. "Alright… let's go."

Hinobi H.Q.

The Mobian prisoner was locked in a cell after his use was exhausted for the day. He had no strength to muster to try and break free or even stand.

The jackal cracked open his mismatched eyes when alarms began blaring. He was curious what was happening, but was ascertained that it didn't concern him. …But a few minutes later, the door to his chamber was burst open. An impish, shadowed figure stepped in, peering at the prisoner with red eyes.

Hinobi Stop

Miko stood a short distance away from the parking lot. The occasional car would pass by, but Miko eventually heard the familiar rumbling of Jenny's rollers. "Hey, Jen! Decided to let the others eat your dust?"

"Nah, I'm just carrying them in my Convenience Box." Jenny reached in her pocket and withdrew the Infi-Cube. The other four teammates jumped out of it.

The kids peeked around the corner to the lot. There were a couple cars parked, particularly the Hinobi Truck. "Want me to sneak in and scout the area?" Eddy asked.

"I can sense a lot of people inside." Carmine said.

"Let's just go in." Miko decided. "We shouldn't have to worry."

The six friends calmly crossed the parking lot and entered the store. "Hello? Phil?" The store was creepily dark, but even creepier was the soft whirring sound heard behind them. When they turned, it seemed the entrance had disappeared. "Well, nerds." Miko cursed simply.

"Thank you for coming, Miss Kubota. I see you haven't come alone."

A gray-haired man in a labcoat walked out of the darkness, his expression glum. "Well, hello, obvious villain." Jenny greeted. "Wanted to get straight to the butt-whooping, huh?"

"No way… President Kayaba?!"

"You know him?"

"He's the president of Hinobi!"

"Well, that's a twist." Eddy remarked. "Usually, the bosses of shady organizations stick to the shadows instead of inviting us directly to their lair."

"Your friends have already filled me in. It seems you haven't been cooperating with our policy, Miss Kubota."

"I…" Miko half-expected that a Hinobi officer would show up and trouble them, but she hadn't expected the actual president to appear. She took a breath and explained the truth. "When we encountered our first glitch, I tried to wipe their memories, but I ended up blinding Eddy. They got mad and told me not to use that on them."

"And why did you hesitate? Was it that hard to catch them off guard?"

"That isn't the point! I couldn't have just kept lying to my own teammates. And every time I tried to show them one of your games, it just kept backfiring. They were angry, and I realized… if not for the mind-wiping, then a lot of customers would feel this way."

"It is exactly for that reason we must make them forget. Miko, you've always been one of our best customers. We have online copies of every receipt for every customer, and yours are quite abundant. Our games that you cherish, that you grew up with, would not exist if these glitches became too public."

"Yeah, but…but that's why I'm so disappointed! Hinobi was my best friend growing up! It was my life! And then I met Five, I started making friends thanks to Hinobi. I wanted to show my new friends all your games and make them see why I love them, but your glitches hurt them."

"Then purge their memories and reignite their experience."

"No! Hinobi shouldn't do this to its customers!"

"You know, Nintendo's glitches don't try to kill people the same way yours do." Eddy inferred. "And I'd wager their technology is just as advanced, if not better. Why don't you try changing your software so we stop having this problem?"

"You fool! It is this software that will put us above the likes of Nintendo, Sony, or any other developer!" Kayaba waved his gloved hand as a mini volcano, snowy mountain, and a clown appeared. "This energy that we use, that I discovered, we call it Miracle Matter. Making Programs feel real, giving them life, and augmenting reality will help our customers feel one with our games. Every glitch that you derez makes our games become more perfect. Every memory you wipe rekindles the friendship between our creations and customers."

"That's not the right way to rekindle friendship." Quill stated. "I know people have flaws that they don't want others to be aware of, but the more time you spend with people, the more likely they are to find out. By then, they'll either accept you or reject you, but even if you try to forget, the same thing will eventually happen again."

"Yeah." Drake said. "But you know something? It's hard to believe you guys were able to cover this up so much that it didn't go public. What are the odds you cracked a deal with some higher-up politicians, or even the media?"

"Some friendships require tradeoffs to overlook flaws."

"Well, you're not trading off with us. Even if you wipe our memories now, it's already too late. By now, the whole KND knows your secret."

"Sigh…I knew Earth would be a troublesome place to establish business. But Miko… your immunity to memory erasure is an unprecedented issue. At this rate, I can't just fire you. I may have to take you into custody. I will separate you from your friends and make them forget you ever existed. But if you wipe their memories now and come back to me… we can work together to fix this whole problem. So…?"

"…" Miko narrowed her eyes and wagged her finger. "Come at me."

"So be it. Glitch Techs… arrest them all." Kayaba sank into a hole as five figures marched out. They were Mitch, Five, Haneesh, Zahra, and Bergy.

"G…Guys?" Miko spoke with hurt in her voice.

"This is what happens when you don't follow protocol, Miko!" Mitch stated, a hint of static in his voice. "Now, to reiterate, teammates, attack!"

The agents ran to confront the operatives, with Mitch tossing holo-shurikens at Drake, Zahra charging at Carmine with a pink laser sword, Haneesh running at Quill with energy scissors, and Bergy shooting lasers at Eddy. Five flew above with jet boots as he shot lasers at Miko, his friend dodging. "Five, why are you doing this?! Are you…?" As Miko tried to look him in the eyes, she noticed that his irises had big white H's. She looked and noticed the same H's in the other's eyes.

Jenny lunged up to KICK Five in the gut, slamming him to the wall. "I'll fight him so you don't have to!"

"Guys, look at their eyes!" Miko said. "I'm not sure if these are the real ones."

"Alright, then we won't hold back!" Drake decided, shooting his harpoon at Mitch.

"AAAH!" the gamer cried with a hasty dodge. "How dare you accuse me of non-realism! I'm the one and only Mitch Williams!"

"In that case, I'm going for the boss!" Miko decided, extracting her hammer. She leapt and slammed it against the spot that Kayaba sank into, bashing it multiple times as the floor cracked. Finally, a hole was broken open, so Miko bravely dove in.

"We'll catch up with ya!" Jenny called. She gracefully maneuvered around the floor to evade Five's aerial shots. Five would elevate if Jenny tried to jump-kick him, so the girl rolled to the wall and tapped on her shoe rockets. She could boost up the wall, then kick off to land a kick to Five's jaw. He flew further from the wall and shot homing missiles at her, but Jenny could easily jump up the projectiles for the next attack—Five switched on a shield to block and bounce her off. He then burned a laser along the floor, chasing a fleeing Jenny, and she was quick to whip around when he changed its position in front of her.

"You'll never reach me up here!" Five taunted.

"Unless I use this!" Jenny grabbed a metal object from the Infi-Cube and threw it down. It grew into a rail and propped itself up like a slope, and she quickly skated up to an unprepared Five as she dealt a kick to the crotch. He lost control on his jetshoes and crashed on the floor, leaving Jenny to deal the finishing kick.

Miko landed in another empty room and spotted Kayaba. "YAAAH!" She unhesitantly leapt to smash her hammer—he effortlessly stepped left. Miko violently tried to swing it side-to-side, but Kayaba's position changed so quickly, it was like his legs weren't even moving.

"What are you trying to do, child? Attacking your boss is rude."

"Uh, you make videogames, dude! The only way to beat the level is to beat the boss! Now, hold still and take it!"

Quill was using his shortness to duck under Haneesh's scissors, the latter tanking Quill's fire blasts. Quill pressed both the wind and fire functions to muster an enhanced blast to banish him away. Haneesh recovered and launched mini scissors at Quill, but even as the boy pursued, Haneesh backed away in evasion. Quill dropped an RC car and steered it toward Haneesh, who was unable to escape from the tiny speedy toy. He tried to step on it, but the car withstood his weight and tripped Haneesh. Quill dashed forward and performed a flip onto Haneesh's chest, freezing ice over Haneesh's face. Haneesh smacked Quill off and got up, using a heating function of his glove to melt the ice. Quill combined Fire and Ice to spray water around the floor, then he blew wind to wash a wave over Haneesh. With that, he quickly swapped back to ice to freeze the water and freeze Haneesh like an iceberg.

Miko leapt to punch Kayaba, the president lazily bringing up an arm to withstand the punch. Miko was knocked back by an invisible force, but she landed on her feet and returned to deal a rapid flurry! "You are strong, but it's not nearly enough. I thought, by now, you would've learned some form of Haki, but it seems your brain is unfit for the task."

"What, you're calling me stupid?! Then why can't you mind-wipe me?!"

Carmine ran from Zahra and threw bombs behind her, the Muslim easily evading them. When Zahra slashed at Carmine directly, the latter evaded with Haki and sneakily dropped M.A.R.B.L.E.s. The tiny bombs exploded around Zahra while Carmine escaped their radius. Zahra recovered, so Carmine threw more grenades. Zahra changed her sword to a bat to hit the bombs back, but still Carmine avoided. "AAAH!" Unfortunately, Zahra landed a bash to the head as Carmine was knocked over, her gas mask slipping off.

"Looks like that armor doesn't protect you after all!" Zahra declared.

Carmine faced up at Zahra, revealing her grotesque, pinkish and shriveled head. "Oh, my…" Zahra hesitated.

"Yeah… this is what I look like. Ow, and that really hurt!" Carmine began squirming. "The air is making the wound sizzle! Ow! Ahh!"

"H-Hang on, let me get your-"

Carmine flicked a M.A.R.B.L.E. at Zahra's face and exploded it, the Glitch Tech keeling over. "But thanks for the offer." Carmine smiled, going to reclaim her headwear.

Eddy was tapping his laptop to shoot lasers at Bergy, who shot lasers in turn, both skinny teammates suffering an equal amount of hits. However, Eddy had secretly dropped a robot bug and lured Bergy's vision away from it. He inputted commands for the bug on his laptop, at the same time coding lasers. The robot skittered up Bergy's leg and along the underside of the arm. Once the bug reached the gauntlet, it sank its "teeth" into the glove to input a computer virus. "Huh?! What's going on?!" Bergy panicked as his controls began fizzing out.

"Here's a bullying classic!" Eddy declared, thrusting punches at himself. Bergy's glove began to punch himself against his will. "Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself, stop it!"

Downstairs, Miko began panting with exhaustion, at a loss for ideas as she could neither damage nor touch Kayaba. "But haven't you just met these five? Weren't you moved here against your decision? Why risk so much for them?"

"I…I don't know!" Miko panted. "They were just… mad at me, for the mind-wiping thing, and the car thing… and it was all your games' fault! You and your stupid rules! You know, me, Five, and the others still love your games. We still play them, even at the risk of glitches. So, why can't other people…"

"You are trained to battle the glitches, but most people are not. Only true gamers can accept the glitches and learn to conquer them, in the steady process of achieving perfection. But these new friends clearly do not understand. They are closed-minded to games and turn them away for the smallest flaws. And they will not understand you."

"Pfft, guess again, smarty! They let me stay, even after I hurt Eddy, and they wouldn't let me come here alone. You're the only problem here, you and your janky games! If your games aren't perfect enough, then you, shouldn't, SELL THEM!" Miko began furiously bashing her hammer against the unmovable developer, but the weapon merely fizzled out each time it was at Kayaba.

Drake shot his harpoon at the wall behind Mitch, hauled himself over as he tried to kick the LPer, and repeat the process repeatedly. Mitch formed a barrier to make Drake crash, then he disabled it and trapped the Q Leader inside his own bubble prison. "Try breaking my nose from in there, Captain Hoo-"

Drake imbued Haki to his harpoon and pierced the bubble, stabbing Mitch in the gut. Drake pulled Mitch to him to land a solid nose punch, shot him forward, then retracted for another punch, followed by a third one before letting Mitch go down for good. "They don't call me the 3-Hole Puncher for nothin'!"

"Drake, let's hurry and help Miko!" Carmine ushered.

"Aye-aye!" The five quickly jumped into the hole. They were just in time to see Miko failing to hit Kayaba with the hammer, the gamer reaching her limit once more as she slumped in exhaustion.

"You can't take all of us!" Jenny rolled up for a kick that Kayaba evaded, Carmine threw some bombs that he survived, and Quill ran circles around, shooting flames over the president.

"It doesn't seem like all of us are taking him…" Eddy commented.

"You cannot defeat me in my augmented reality. Why bother wasting your efforts for Miko? You're better off losing your memories and letting her go. She will only bring you more trou-"

"Can it with that bullcrap, buddy." Drake stated, marching up to Kayaba with his harpoon trained on the neck. "If Miko never came to our sector, we might've never known about your shady operation. She's already been a big help. Maybe we just met her, but we're not gonna let you take her. I know my girls, buddy, and this one's got a big heart."

"I'll admit, I'm not entirely used to her," Quill said, "but I'd feel pretty small for letting some creep take her."

Miko blushed lightly. She was used to Five sticking up for her, but it felt far more flattering that her new friends were doing the same.

"Sigh…all I wanted was for people to love my creations." Kayaba said. "But it seems they're just not ready, yet."

"Yeah, well what're you gonna do about it?" Eddy asked.

"More testing is required… nay, a new approach."

"Just spill the beans, Gray Hair." Jenny retorted.

"I'm saying that I admit defeat."

"You…you are?" Carmine asked.

"Even if I try to drag Miko away now… I'll only be denying the truth. My games… just aren't perfect, yet. They were not ready for Earth's homes."

"It's not about being perfect." Eddy argued. "It's about not letting your games come to life and hurt people! Just go the old-fashioned way! As long as games stay in the console, who cares if they glitch?!"

"That is where our ideals part, I'm afraid. But it doesn't matter now. My approach is wrong, either way. Forgive me for my disturbance, Kids Next Door. I will leave… and shut my stores down."

With a wave of his glove, the room derezzed into pixels and changed back into Hinobi Stop, games and consoles neatly stocked on the shelves. And Kayaba had disappeared.

"Geez, what happened?" Phil stepped out from the back room, rubbing his head. "I feel like I went into Doki Doki shutdown."

"Hey, the store's back to normal!" Haneesh said as he and the others stepped out. "Where's President Kayaba?"

"Miko!" Five exclaimed, running up to hug his friend.

"F-Five!" Miko perked up in confusion. "So, just now, those were really… fakes?"

"What are you talking about?"

"We were attacked by Kayaba, and… I guess he's gone now."

"My nose!" Mitch screamed, holding his squished face. "It's broken again! Mr. Kayaba?!"

"Well, Phil, everything checks out." They turned as Barbara exited the back area. "Congratulations on your well-kept store!"

"Uh…thanks?"

"Unfortunately, in light of some recent controversy, we may have to close business on Earth for a while. However, we'll put in a good word for you at GameStop, so no worries."

"Geez, I just can't catch a break around here."

"So… what happens to me?" Miko asked.

"Well, my dear, you may have to find another part-time job yourself. Unless you would rather move back to Coruscant. Our main branch will be happy to have you back."

Miko looked to Sector Q. "Hmm…I think I'm good where I am. I'm starting to like it on Earth. Besides… someone has to stay and make sure you don't try anything."

"That's all well and good then. Make sure you get to bed soon, children!" With that, Barbara left the store.

"I guess… everything's fine, then?" Five asked, confused by the rather sudden resolution.

"I guess. …I'm sorry I dragged you into this, Five."

"No worries! No matter how far apart we are, I'll always have your back!" Five punched her shoulder playfully.

"Haha! And no matter how far the Wi-Fi stretches, I'll always break your virtual back!" She punched his back.

"Ugh, this is so cheesy, I'm becoming lactose!" Mitch complained. "Let's get on the truck and leave already."

"Aw, can't we stay for a little bit?" Haneesh asked, approaching Quill. "I'm digging this kid's blasters! What are those buttons?"

"Nature Crystals from Schnee Dust!" Quill twirled his Elementors. "GKND nicked these for me!"

"Wicked!"

"Hey, sorry about what Mitch said to you." Zahra said to Carmine. "It must be hard to have to wear that."

"It is, and I wish I didn't have to. But you know, there's probably lots of people with worse conditions, so… I like to hope I'm sort of an inspiration."

"Eddy, do you have an online screen name?" Bergy asked.

"On Nintendo, I'm Eddy-Will-Floor-You. 'Cause I'm Eddy William Flores in real life."

"I'm Bergmaster97! Heh, there were 96 others when I decided that one."

"Sorry that I broke your nose, Mitch!" Drake apologized. "I'll pay for your plastic surgery if you want."

"Not necessary. I have a highly skilled editor, so you'll be paying him in my stead."

"Screw off."

"But you just said-!"

"Y'know, maybe more people will respect you for tanking an injury. Just look at me." Drake held up his hook. "When I was in training, Arctic Base got attacked by a sword Nighlok. I got kinda ballsy with him and lost my hand. But now a bunch of girls think I'm cool."

"Yeah, but I sound like a nasally freak thanks to you!"

"Chicks did nasals."

"What the…ugh, why am I bothering with you? I'm Mitch Williams! Good day, sir!" And he began to march out.

"We'll catch you later, Meeks." Five said. "Maybe during a holiday or something."

"It's a deal, baby seal!"

"Haha, that's right!"

Both teams left the store and went their separate ways. Why is Kayaba just letting her go, anyway? Mitch thought suspiciously. Miko was always unusual… and ever since she joined, Barbara's visits have been more frequent, even here. I wonder…

Barbara was already returning to Coruscant on her own ship, Kayaba seated behind her. "So, this was a successful test?"

"Yes." Kayaba affirmed. "Perhaps working with Earth's KND will give Miko far more experience. I was worried since her mental capabilities were reported to be more than faulty. She should be capable in excelling in any physical activity, but anything that requires focusing her chi may be lost on her. But perhaps mental growth is not the most important aspect of a person. Perhaps I have overlooked the heart. Perhaps, through experience and friendship together, her heart will grow stronger. And that may yield the same results."

"And you believe the Earth KND possesses that 'heart'?"

"If Sector Q's words and actions are anything to go by. For now, we must continue with our own end of the project. We may be able to finish Aincrad by next-"

An alarm rang through their ship. Barbara answered. "Is there a problem, Franklin?"

"Inspector Seven! Is President Kayaba there? There's been an emergency! The matterbender was kidnapped! He's gone!"

"What?!" Kayaba gasped. "By who?"

Unknown base

The jackal was rested on a chair in a dark room. An obese, egg-shaped figure stepped out to greet him. "Well, what cruel operations has Hinobi been running?"

"Who are you?"

"I am Dr. Eggman, the universe's greatest scientist. My special sources have informed me of the 'glitches' running rampant in Coruscant, and it reminded me of something I'm looking for. I tried to implant this virus into their network and investigate them." He held up a blue Flashdrive in his fingers, and it had an eye symbol. "But their defenses are quite strong. However, I was able to locate you, so I phoned in an old friend to retrieve you."

"And why be so generous?"

"Because I want to know what Hinobi is hiding. Why were they keeping you prisoner?"

"They were trying to drain me of my Matter Chi. They…oogh!" His body began fizzing like static.

"What's wrong?"

"My body! It feels… unstable! They…they took too much! Please… do something!"

"Hold on, I should have some remedies for this." Eggman pressed a speaker button. "Scratch! Grounder! Get down here with some Matter Stabilizers, now!"

"Yes, Your Maliciousness!" Scratch responded in a scrawky voice.

"I think I used one to clean the toilet yesterday!" Grounder followed.

"What do you want from Hinobi?" the jackal asked.

"Something that could potentially benefit you in your current condition. Perhaps the two of us could work together."

"If you can fix this… I'll do anything you ask…"

"And does our new friend have a name?" Eggman smiled.

"My name… is-"

Kubota Household

Miko dressed in her pajamas as she tucked herself in bed. She wore a minty-yellow sweater and dark-green pants going into socks with pink stripes, and her hair was wrapped in a bun. Lexi was already asleep in the bed across from hers. "So, Miko, what did they call you for?" her mother asked.

"Uh, they wanted me to help fix some computer… thingies?"

"Really? You?"

"Pfft, well, yeah! All ya have to do is just… okay, they just needed someone to help load trucks." Miko replaced her bad lie with a better lie. "There's been some problems, so… Hinobi might be closing their Earth stores for a while."

"Oh…that's unfortunate."

"Yeah, but later I'll try to apply for GameStop! That's just as cool!"

"Hm hm, does it have to be a game store, Miko?"

"Well, games are what I know best." Miko mumbled and shrugged sheepishly. "But, anyway… I'm glad we moved. My new friends have taught me a lot, and they're so understanding."

"That's great, dear. I'm glad that you're… playing a game right now, aren't you?"

Mayumi had faintly heard a beep under Miko's blanket, so she revealed the DS in her hands. "It's Mario! I'm taking a break from Hinobi."

"Hm hm! Just don't stay up too late. Good night, Miko."

"G'night, Mom!" Miko waved as Mayumi exited the room. With that, the gamer grabbed a headset and got under the covers. "So, you geared up, Eddy?"

"Ready when you are!" In his own room, Eddy was under the blanket with his own DS.

The sound of Mario Karts whirring could be faintly heard from the dim-lit bedrooms. They were committed to crushing each other on the track. "Uh, Eddy? Is that supposed to happen?" Miko found herself stuck inside a mushroom graphic and unable to escape.

"Hah! So, Nintendo never patched that glitch after all! I'm glad some things are still the same."

"Haha, and it's not trying to kill us either! …Seriously, how do I get out?"

"When I cross the Finish Line, You_K.O.!"

"Nnnnooooooo!"

Lexi grumbled in frustration at her sister's noise and tried to bury her head under her pillow. (Play the "Credits Song" from Glitch Techs!)

A Newbie's Quest: Cast:

Monica Ray as Miko Kubota

Dan Green as Drake Puncture

Dee Bradley Baker as Quill Ramsey

Ben Diskin as Eddy Flores

Phyllis Smith as E. Carmine

AJ Michalka as Jenny Strongarm

"Mr. Baxter, we're back from Earth." Five greeted as the operatives approached their new boss.

"Did ya bring me the Clam Necklace souvenir like I asked for?" Mr. Baxter was a gray alien in a brown wig and Hinobi uniform.

"Well, no, we ran into some problems."

"Yeesh, what happened to your nose, Mitch?"

"I was punched by a brute! I demand worker's compensation!"

"The only compensation you'll get is a binky and a rattle if you don't stop whinin'! Now, lean over here."

Mitch did so, and Roger planted a kiss on Mitch's broken nose. "How does that feel, Mitch?"

"It feels… better."

Roger smiled and stroked Mitch's face. "You really should get that lip mole removed, I notice some shaving cuts on it."

Greg Cipes as Dillon York

Lauren Tom as Vanellope von Schweetz

Ricardo Hurtado as High Five

Luke Youngblood as Mitch Williams

Haley Tju as Lexi Kubota

Scott Kreamer as Phil Altiere

"Alright, time to check if all these games are where they should be." Phil said as he began his new job in GameStop. "What the…" All the cases appeared to be filled with doughnuts. "…" Well, he couldn't very well let these gunk up the cases, so Phil delightfully began eating. "Oh…I've missed you, my sweets."

Somewhere far away, all the real game discs were hunting foxes for robots.

Michael Dobson as Larry Grimley

Brian Drummond as Hamshank

Colin Murdock as John Dullard

"Come on, tell me this doesn't sound like a Deadpool impression!" Sind Diego boasted. "Ahem…yo, who wants to go out for chimichangas? That's Mr. Pool, first name Dead!"

Sectors Q and GT laughed and clapped. "Wow, that's almost like Ryan Reynolds!" Quill said.

"Man, who the hell is this giant kid tryin' to imitate me?" Sind mimicked.

"Ha ha, good one!" Miko laughed. "But, who is Deadpool, anyway?"

"An R-rated movie we weren't supposed to watch." Biyo whimpered.

"Come on, Biyo, it wasn't that bad." Konbu replied.

"I threw up 50 times! Oooo, and now I want to again…"

Ryan Reynolds as Sind Diego

Madeleine Morris as Doran Dodley

Amanda Gish as Konbu Colins

Terri Doty as Uzu Colins

Kristen McGuire as Ally Mitchels

Kate Oxley as Biyo Winston

Sharon Mann as Cheren Uno

On a jovial stroll down the street, Miko walked by Nolan York and his wife, Danika. "Hey, man! Lookin' dandy!" Miko did a wink and flicked her fingers at them. "Yo, I like your hair, woman! I need to get me a strip!" The couple giggled at her demeanor.

Marc Diraison as Kayaba

Betsy Sodaro as Barbara

Mike Pollock as Eggman

Liam O'Brien as the jackal prisoner

Glitch Techs characters owned by Eric Robles and Dan Milano

Other characters owned by their respective owners

Published by deviantART

Presented by Gamewizard2008

Sector Q will return for more!

"Last week, Coruscanti game developer, Hinobi had established shops in the United States as they localized their games to our fair planet. However, due to sudden reports of extremely faulty hardware, in which game characters physically came to life and attacked their players, all of their products were pulled off the shelves and recalled from buyers, ultimately postponing their operations until this issue is resolved. Officers from KND and G.U.N. are looking to ensure no major harm was done to the buyers."

"Well, Eva, I think it's safe to say who won't be winning Game of the Year!"

"Perhaps not, Kade…"

Cheren smiled, seeing that the news broadcast seemed to go without a hitch. "Everything seems to be okay on this end."

"Yeah, but it doesn't seem like Intergalactic News broadcasted anything on Coruscant or anywhere else." Nebula replied through the terminal. "I contacted Sasha about it and she's working to inform all her KND. It's probably gonna cause some problems for the Hinobi operatives."

"As long as it stops people from being hurt by those glitches, it's a necessary cost. On the bright side, it sounds like things are working out for Miko in Sector Q. Things are really shaping up for us this year!"

"Well, since we lived through the biggest crisis that could happen, hopefully things will be smooth sailing until at least next year."

"Yeah, but we still need to keep our eyes open. After those last couple incidents, I think our new struggles have only begun. Luckily, we should have more than enough new operatives to help us."

…

"I'm on my way to the meeting, Gaz." Tallest Zim said to his wife. "You sure you don't want to come?"

"I'm in the middle of a tournament, Zim!" The purple-haired woman was seated on the floor, locked in a space-shooter game. "I'm not going to some boring council meeting!"

"Ahh, some things never change." Zim smiled. "Well, you have fun, dearie."

Her fingers not deviating from the buttons, Gaz glanced down to an envelope in her purple-striped lap. Its seal resembled a pirate skull with blonde, horn-shaped hair. "…I'll think about it." Gaz said as she shot down 10 more ships.