My teenage high school romance comedy can't be this perverted!

Beta read by n1ch, Shigiya, Solitary heart and 8kagi!

-?-

Had there ever been a time where you wished to be transported into another world? To escape this reality governed by a cruel mistress called life? Cultured people would call it being isekai'd.

Oh, the magnificent adventures filled with danger and obstacles that have killed many heroes in the past. But here you arrive, summoned by the gods themselves and gifted with basically overpowered abilities as you are tasked to defeat the demon king and put an end to the war that has been plaguing their world for millennia.

Accompanied by your party members who are suspiciously all females: a princess who seeks to protect her people, her best friend who tagged along to keep her safe, a cleric who is obviously ill-suited for combat, and a mysterious woman who might be your daughter from the future. And somehow all of them somewhere along the journey fall in love with you as you save them from demons, monsters, and their own past—basically achieving the harem ending of the stereotypical eroges you might find littered around the R-18 section of any game store.

You travel along the continent slaying dragons and demons, and establish alliances with other countries. After completing many quests, saving an unending amount of villages, and collecting every single legendary weapon in existence, is when you finally arrive in front of the demon king's palace. You and your harem members—through the power of love and friendship, are finally able to kill the demon king!

In the end, you become the future king, with the princess now as your queen and the others as your mistresses living happily ever after.

That was definitely what Zaimokusa's wet dreams would be like. And not that I would ever admit it, but it was definitely what my past Chuuni self would pray for every night. Ugh, the memories of my past still made me cringe with disgust and embarrassment. Like, past me, could you not have been any more pathetic? No scratch that, it could have been worse and it was worse.

Why you might ask?

Well, the infamous loner of Sobu High, househusband in training, and brother to the bestest and cutest sister in existence, Komachi—I, Hikigaya Hachiman, was now lying down in a comfortable bed...as a baby.

What!?

Why!?

How!?

At first, I thought it was a prank. My day started out as usual, Komachi nearly killing my eardrums trying to wake me up for school, eating breakfast while listening to the daily news—not that it interested me very much, but I did like to keep myself informed or at least not so out of touch with our wage-slave-creating country's current state.

Okay, I was getting off track here.

Anyways after breakfast, I would ride my bike to Sobu High, arrive early for my Japanese class, then join Yukinoshita and Yuigahama for club activities which mostly involved me reading a light novel or something. Nothing out of the ordinary yet, so what happened?

A white light.

That is all that came to mind; a bright flash. It was abrupt, sudden, and without warning. At first, I thought that I had fallen unconscious for some reason.

It couldn't have been my health—despite what others might see from afar me with my hunched posture and my stick-like limbs, I was in fact quite fit, with formed pecs and the whole package, which had been the result of all the hard labor and my overly active schedule during these last few hellish months.

Never tried nor bothered to show them off in the first place, unlike your regular normie who would have posted a library's worth of pictures on his profile with him shirtless on the beach—I never liked the attention in the first place. Even Komachi would complain about it sometimes. Ah, I was getting off-topic again. All that mattered was that I couldn't be physically unhealthy since I was in great shape to begin with.

It was when I first opened my eyes that I noticed something... off about the situation. First of all, I felt weak, it was as if I spent an entire day running around town while injecting pure MAXX coffee directly into my veins, ultimately feeling its repercussions the next day. My surroundings were different—this was not the infirmary nor my house. The room was unfamiliar, filled with toys, pillows, and cartoon drawings on the wall.

Have I been kidnapped and detained into a nursery room, of all places? It was then that I noticed another major issue which made me fully realize my current predicament; my hands. Not my regular hands, but rather a pair of cute, small, and pudgy hands fit for a baby. That was when all hell broke loose.

"Waaaaa!"

{Break}

(4 years later)

Things finally calmed down a bit. Living in a baby's body for 3 years without being able to do much left me alone with my thoughts for most of my time. I had not come to terms with my situation—to do so would have been no different than accepting my death and moving on, but I couldn't and wouldn't. I still wanted to go back, I wanted to hear the constant nagging of Komachi again, the upbeat and joyful cheers of Yuigahama, the cold stares from the Ice Queen herself, and be comforted by the sweet angel Totsuka. Heck, I was so desperate that I even longed to see a familiar face like Hayama and the she-devil herself.

Many times have I cried and despaired at the possibility of never seeing them again.

I knew about my situation—I'd seen enough times in anime and read plenty light novels to know that reuniting with my precious sister and friends again was nearly impossible. But nearly was not a certainty, and I would rather believe that even a slim possibility existed somewhere. To stop myself from going down a darker path, I kept telling my mind that I would eventually meet them again or that they were possibly in the same situation as me. It helped for now, but I don't know for how long I could distract myself from the truth unless I found a solution.

The first thing I found out was that I was still Japanese. Many signs led me to that conclusion, such as the television featuring channels from Japan, me being surrounded by Japanese literature, and also my parents speaking the language. Speaking of parents, I finally got to know their names, as well as mine.

How was it possible for me to spend my first year without even knowing my name and that of my parents, you might ask?

Well, who else calls out their loved one's or family member's with their full name in a normal conversation, dumbass!

I got to sit by and endure all the cheek grabbing, cooing, and unnecessary name-calling like 'little angel', 'my precious', 'woobly-doobly', and the names just keep on getting worse. It was only through pretending to sleep that I overheard my parents having a normal adult conversation. Surprisingly and unbelievably, I was 'reborn' under the Hikigaya household again! And surprise surprise, the 8th number blessed my life again. My father, apparently, was your regular blue-collar office worker, spending most of his days working—Hikigaya Souichirou. While my mother worked around the house and took the role of housewife—Igarashi Chiasa, or Hikigaya Chiasa now.

Huh, Hikigaya Hachiman reborn as Hikigaya Hachiman. I was generally never a strong believer in faith, but this convinced me that someone up there was messing with my life...or lives, at this point.

Not wanting to seem strange or different from the others, I kept my vocabulary at a minimum to avoid suspicion from my parents—hopefully this would deter them from thinking that I was a genius baby or something stupid like that. Ain't no way I would become a normie or a raijuu! Being locked in a social cage with everyone labeling me a genius and pre-determining my future is something that I would rather avoid.

Besides, how hard could it be acting as a regular toddler?

Hard, super hard!

Curse my past self for jinxing me in the present, may he die as a normie! I completely forgot a crucial factor that was present to all kids my age—pre-school! Hurgh, being surrounded constantly by snot-nosed kids creating a ruckus, I could feel my heart almost giving up from their constant chaotic nature. Kuoh Kindergarten, a non-stop chaotic battlefield.

Kuoh, that is the other thing I found out. Granted I was not the best in geography, but I certainly would have noticed or remembered such a large town in modern Japan, not to speak of its highly coveted status of having one of the best schools in the country, Kuoh Academy—but alas, it was for girls only. This just further cemented how far away from home I was...

"Neh, Hikima, come play with me!"

Now there was my other source of trouble.

A parasite that refused to leave me alone, even when I shot her my distinctive dead fish eyes look that has made many of my 'classmates' break down in tears and calling me meanie or ugly. Truly, kids were the most brutally honest people. Ha! Guess what, you bunch of amateurs, I have come prepared with one of the 108 skills in my arsenal—'Insult Invincibility'! Nothing could hurt me, hahaha!

Except her...

Himejima Akeno

She was a cute kid. If I was my normal age again, I would no doubt squish her chubby cheeks and empty out a nearby convenience store of its candies, just like I used to do with Komachi. Just being around her triggers my brotherly instincts to their limit. But as a kid myself, it was a whole other story.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I didn't hate the girl. She wS a small kid, for crying out loud! But for some reason, she always found it 'fun' hanging out with me.

No matter how many times I told her to go away, or how many times I tried to scare her with my glare, or just plain ignore her she still clung to me like a damn koala.

"Hikima, you're ignoring me again!" cried out the little girl.

She was pouting—trying to put on an angry face, but it only made her look like a small adorable puppy.

'Heh, chubby cheeks.'

I couldn't resist the temptation, so I pinched her cheeks and put on a regular deadpan face.

"Sorry little one, I was lost in my thoughts for a bit there."

"Hee, shtop puwing ma sheeks!"

Finally pitying her, I let go and apologized.

"Again, sorry, but you are just too cute sometimes."

Her face grew red and she meekly looked down the floor, trying to hide her shyness. "...stupid Hikima."

"Why don't you go play with the others? They certainly won't deny your presence, unlike me." I asked.

Many of these kids wouldn't mind a new addition to their social circle, it was how kids were, no unnecessary drama, no hiding behind a mask, and no harsh judging with malicious intent. It took a few seconds for her to understand what I meant—I guess my vocabulary was a bit too high for kids my age, gotta be careful around adults before they noticed it. But when she got the general meaning, her answer did surprise me.

"I just want to play with you Hikima, you are very lonely and have no friends. But I want to be your friend and play with you so that you won't be lonely anymore!" she replied.

Lonely, huh...I guess I was, considering everything that happened.

Creating new bonds is a needless challenge and was nothing but a complete waste of time and effort—people naturally tended to drift apart as they grow up, this would be no different.

"So, come with me and let's play together!"

I guess it wouldn't hurt to try... for now.