Empty Feelings

. ALEXA'S POV .

I'm getting ready for dinner at Justin and Michelle's home . After yesterday's embarrassment , l played it cool and did my usual home chores until when Mark announced it that we were going to the dinner . With the kids already prepared , l was now nervous . Everything was good but l didn't want to embarrass Mark .

Henry told me to bring the kids at the dinner . Mark wasn't pleased but he had nothing he could do about it . At my side l wasn't that concentrated as l searched for the dress to wear . My mind was all about the way he embarrassed me at night . It has been three months since l cheated . I wanted to be honest and bear up with Mark for the sake of kids but now I had that empty feeling in me .

I was now craving for him , the only one who made me feel like l was in heaven . I wanted him but then I didn't know how l was going to get him again . Few months ago Bella called me and asked me about the party but l refused to tell her every thing that happened to me after her departure .

" Your not wearing that , it looks cheap remember you meeting more important people , don't embarrass me " , Just as l was mindlessly pulling on the dress , Mark all of the sudden bursted in the room . At his words , l looked down at the beautiful red cocktail dress that reached down at my feet . Though l had picked it up thoughtlessly ,it was the same dress l wore for our first anniversary .

At that time , he told me that he loved the dress , he told me that l looked more cute in it and that was why I chose to wear it today . ". Don't you remember this dress " , l asked in a low voice while looking at him with a little hope in my eyes . Per now , l only hoped that he could recall it , that night meant everything to me .

It was the last anniversary we had as l had no child in that year . " No , why ?, Don't say you wasted my money on that shit , for the love of God l didn't give you money for you to waste it on total rubbish like that " , He yelled with anger blazing in his eyes . At that my heart felt like it was ripping out of my chest . He honestly couldn't remember it . How could he recall it anyway when l now meant nothing to him .

Sadly I looked down at the dress . It was the only dress that l loved most and all because of that moment we shared . " I'm sorry , what dress do you want me to wear in order for me not to embarrass you " , l asked while pulling myself together .

" Don't you .... " , Just as he began , the bedroom door all of the sudden swung open and Chrissy ran instantly inside . Sadly the girl l had just dressed up few minutes ago was now covered up in paint . Her blue dress was ruined to yellow and green paint was all in her hair that l had spent most of my time designing it .

After staring at her , l turned and looked at Mark's face but it was getting redder and redder with anger . Thoughtless , l could see that he was going to lose his shit in any minute . " Dad l ..... " , . ". Are you fucking for real , l told you to sit on the fucking couch now look what the hell you have done " , Still young and innocent , Chrissy began to talk but Mark immediately yelled at her cutting her short in mid sentence .

At his yelling , l saw Chrissy's eyes shine bright with tears and inwardly feeling hurt , l rushed over to her . I did understand the situation but he shouldn't have done it in that way . there was no way in hell he should have spoken like that to her . He could see it that she was so young but still he cursed carelessly . " And you " ,Just as l was comforting my lovely daughter , he pointed in my face with spit falling out of his mouth . He was so pissed off that his jaws were clenched with anger .

"Sort this out , l haven't got time to waste , I'm going to call you a car to bring you around Justin's house " , He added With his index finger pointed at me . " Don't mind , l will drive myself " , l replied on the edge of tears . " Uhm , whatever , l don't mind " , He retorted and before l could respond to him , he stormed out of the room .

With him gone , l pulled Chrissy more in to me , hugging her tightly as she cried on my shoulder . " It's okay baby , I will get you cleaned up " , l murmured in a soft voice while running my fingers through her green painted hair . As a kid she just cried more in reply . " I love you sweetie , it's not the end of the world , let me clean you up quickly and then you will help me pick up the dress to wear " , l added . " Are you fine with helping me , darling ? " , I asked and at that she pulled away from me and nodded her head with a smile on her face .