Chapter 18: The Tragedy of Hawk Tuah the Muscle Mommy.

I paced around my room, the soles of my boots clicking against the metal floor in a steady rhythm. I'd dragged in the closest thing this place had to a white board, more like a smart board, that actually responded to touch unlike the glitchy junk we had back on earth. It was like they took a digital whiteboard and made it grey. A grey board, if you will.

"Okay," I muttered to myself, eyeing the glossy surface. "Let's sort this out."

The words' DR Apprentice ideas' were scrawled across the top, my handwriting a chaotic jumble of hope and desperation. Below it, a list of names, each one followed by hastily scribbled notes. At the very top sat Zenna's name, bold and unapologetic. For a moment, I just stared at it.

"Zenna Eras," I murmured, the name of my chesty sister rolling off my tongue with a mix of admiration and wariness. She was the best, no question about it. Her skills, her midi-chlorian count, her damn near perfect precision with every maneuver. She was born for this, molded by the dark currents of our family legacy, fierce as a krayt dragon and thrice as deadly.

But then there was the other side of her, the wild glint in her eyes when she spoke of Darth Relic, the way her voice softened to silk when it came to her that yucky obsession. The intensity of her emotions was as sharp as the darksaber's edge.

I swallowed hard, reaching out with a gloved hand to strike her name from the list. The greyboard obediently registered my touch, the stark line through 'Zenna Eras' feeling almost like betrayal.

"Too crazy," I said aloud, the words an anchor in the silence of my room. "Can't risk it."

A sigh escaped my lips as I leaned closer to the board, the crossed-out name reflecting back at me in my own troubled gaze. Zenna was fire and fury wrapped in the guise of a Sith prodigy, and yet... and yet, her madness was like a siren's call, tempting and terrifying all at once.

'If she wasn't my sister, I would probably try to tame her, but her weird obsession with Relic just makes it impossible.'

"Dammit, Zenna," I whispered, my head starting to pound with the weight of decisions and the ghosts of what-ifs. "Why'd you have to be the best and the worst choice all in one?"

I backed away from the greyboard, the list of names now a blur before my eyes. My hands clenched into fists, frustration bubbling up inside me like a storm brewing on the horizon.

"Back to square one," I growled to myself, turning away from the board, the pressure of choosing an apprentice pressing down on me like the gravity of a dying star. "Who else is there? Who else..."

My thoughts trailed off, lost in the maze of my own mind as I banged my head back against the cold wall of my dorm room, the search for an apprentice as relentless and unforgiving as the dark path I walked.

*****

My boots made soft thuds against the polished floor as I entered Professor Elama's class, my eyes darting around the room for a glimpse of raw potential among the sea of students. They were all whispers in the shadow of my quest; their ambitions mere sparks compared to the inferno I needed.

'I need someone who I can use to take down the entire Sith order, fuck, and the Jedi order too.'

I stared at one of my prospects, Jaella.

'She's ranked 25th in class, but she's still so weak. The fact that she can harness the light side and any amount of dark side is a plus because it means she could go the way of a dark Jedi, but honestly speaking, she's weak. Zero backbone. Just a pretty face and blonde hair.'

Then there she was, Hawk Tuah, the daughter of Count Mar Tuah, her presence like a gravity well in the crowded space. I leaned against the cool metal doorframe, studying her as she sparred with another student, her movements precise and powerful. She had that same steel edge sharpness that allegedly ran in her bloodline, but it was honed to a dangerous point in her alone.

'Her father showed a keen interest in me becoming her consort. Perhaps I should consider her. She is ranked number two in our first-year class, after all.'

"Focus, Vex,"

I murmured to myself, pushing off from the wall and striding closer to get a better look at my prospective apprentice. She was good, damn good, but was she the one?

Class ended with the abruptness of a hyperspace exit, and I waited as Hawk finished wrapping her training saber. The other students trickled out, giving us room as I approached. Her gaze flicked up to mine, icy and distant, a contrast to the warm farewells she offered her classmates.

"Tuah," I began, my voice steady despite the thrumming in my chest. "I've been watching you. You've got skills that can't be taught."

"Wow, what an honor," she replied, her tone dripping sarcasm thicker than Hutt slime. "Vex finally notices me. Should I feel special or just worried?"

"Both," I shot back coldly, unfazed by her barbed words. "You should feel both."

"Look," she said, slamming her equipment into her bag, "I don't have time for whatever this is. Do you need an ego boost? Go find someone else to stroke it."

"Actually," I interjected quickly, trying to anchor her fleeting attention, "I'm offering more than flattery. I'm talking about partnership. About power."

"Ha! As if you know anything about power, Vex." She shouldered past me, but not before I caught a flicker of curiosity in her eyes. It vanished as quickly as it appeared, hidden behind her fortress of indifference.

"Think about it, Tuah," I called after her retreating form. "You could be great. We could be great."

"Save your breath," she tossed over her shoulder, though the swagger in her step told me my words had struck deeper than she'd let on.

"That bitch!"

'She probably thinks I was courting her. She has no idea what level of power I'm offering her! The worst part is she is literally the quintessential tomboy trope!'

I recoil at the loss of such an intensely attractive, short-haired, muscle mommy tomboy.

"RATS!"

I let out a woeful howl, feeling the same kind of pain that only a parent of a child lost in a school shooting could possibly begin to understand.

With a sigh, I turned back to the empty classroom, the echo of our exchange lingering in the air. Hawk was fire and ice, and I couldn't decide if she'd forge me a weapon or burn me alive. But damn if I wasn't tempted to find out.

"Ew, wait, no fuck her. I'm not gonna go after Miss Hard to get. She's strong, but Vex Eras does not grovel at the feet of wenches. Perhaps if she was a clown or a tiefling?"

*****

The door to my dorm room slid shut with a hiss, sealing me inside my own private echo chamber of doubt. I slumped against the cool metal, letting the weight of my body drag me down until I was sitting on the floor, knees up, head in hands. Here, in this box of a room, I could let the mask slip, let out the breath I'd been holding since Hawk Tuah's last biting remark.

"Great," I muttered to myself, the word tasting like ash. "Another dead end."

Dragging my fingers through my hair, I felt the tangles of indecision knotting tighter. I needed an apprentice, someone strong, malleable, someone who wouldn't just be an extension of my will but could stand firm beside me when the galaxy came crashing in.

'Am I looking for a wife? Is that what's holding me back?'

I sigh in thought. Only one woman comes to mind when i think of wifey material. Her long black hair waving in my memories. A true understanding lady.

I sigh again and focus.

"Zenna's too off-the-rails,"

I whispered into the silence, the name feeling like a mere passing thought even as it passed my lips. But it was true; she had the fire. And Hawk? She was a storm of contradictions, ice wrapped in scorn, warmth shrouded in barbs.

"Cunty, though," I added to my internal conversation.

"Kriffing hell,"

I groaned as I heard the cringiest swears roll out of my mouth.

'I am becoming one of them.' My emotions sank deeper.

I stood up abruptly and paced, each step a punctuation to my racing thoughts. The room felt smaller with each pass, walls closing in like they wanted to press me into some mold I could never fit.

"Think, Vex. Think." I stopped in front of the greyboard, the crossed-out names staring back at me, a constellation of failures. My eyes landed on the empty space next to Zenna's name, which was where someone else's name should be. Should I add her?"

"Argh!"

Frustration boiled over, and I spun, slamming my forehead against the door with a dull thud. The pain was sharp, welcome in its clarity.

"For fucks sake, god... Why is this so hard?"

'You already know who it needs to be.' My mind chortles at me.

"But I don't want to put her in danger."

'She's a Sith Lord. You could rule the galaxy as one.'

"THATS JUST THE HORNY TALKING!" I pushed back at my thoughts with outrage.

Just as i was getting in a make believe version of myself the spoken of devil walked into my room. No knock just boldly venturing in with the look of intense purpose on her face.

"What did you just yell?" Sola spoke in confusion.

I froze, my heart pounding as I scrambled to come up with a response. "Oh, uh, nothing. Just frustrated with this assignment." I waved vaguely at the board behind me.

Sola raised one elegant eyebrow. "Assignment? Don't try to fool me, Darth Relic. Or do you prefer Vex?"

My blood turned to ice in my veins. She knew. Somehow, she had discovered my secret identity. I straightened up, meeting her piercing gaze.

'Please, Santa, don't make me kill the girl who ripped my first kiss from my lips.'

My hand slowly reached for my lips, but I expertly stopped it.

"How did you find out?"

A sly smile spread across her face. 

"I have my ways. Did you really think you could keep such a monumental secret from me forever?"

She began to slowly circle me like a predator assessing its prey.

"Don't worry, I haven't told anyone else. Yet. But I think we could help each other, you and I."

I tensed. "Sola, you don't get it. If my sister finds out, I'm Darth Relic…. Santa only knows what will happen."

"Santa holds no power in these lands."

I gasped, 'How did she know!'

"Let's just relax for a moment before we usually slander Saint Nicholas's name."

She stood there for a moment.

"What do you even want from me Sola, surely you could have just asked and I would have just given it to you?"

Sola's face reddened, and she sighed deeply. Finally, she stomped her foot.

"I" she clapped "WISH" clap "TO" clap "BE" clap "SOMEONE" clap "SPECIAL" clap "IN" clap "YOUR" clap "LIFE" she clapped one last time.

'very dramatic.'

"What?"

"I WANT TO BE CLOSER TO YOU BANTHA BREATH!"

'oh, word. Well if this isn't a sign sent by Santa, I don't know what is'

"If you want to be close to me, indispensable. I suppose I could take you as my apprentice. No Sith would make a finer Darth to my new dark order."

I felt a bit guilty offering such a cringey position, but her beaming eyes showed me i made the right call.

"I can see it already, darling."

Sola placed a hand on my chest. her eyes going mad akin to how my sisters get when she talks about Relic.

"Just imagine it. You and me, side by side, ruling the galaxy. Is that really so unappealing?" She spoke to me in her melodic voice, pushing me into a trance.

'Wait, who's selling who here?'

My heart thudded beneath her touch. She was right. The thought of us together was dangerously intoxicating. But if I agreed, there would be no going back. 

'Once more unto the breach!'

Slowly, I nodded. 

"Very well. You shall be my apprentice."

A look of triumph flashed across Sola's face. She had won. But as she gazed at me with hunger in her eyes, I wondered.

'How do I introduce clown makeup to her naturally without scaring her off?'

"What will be our first order of business?" she spoke to me with a gentle tone.

I looked at the greyboard.

"Ummm, we gotta give you a cool name, I guess?"