I'm a real man!

I had to admit despite eating grass, my current life was so much better then my last. My previous life was constant stress and torment. I even had several bloody noses just due to overworking my self with no sleep. Thank god I was put out of my misery with one swift motion. Working in a construction site could be dangerous and had many ways to get hurt badly. I however got the easy way out by having a brick fall and crush my skull just after I had taken my hard hat off for the day. There was no recovery for that shit.

Sadly nothing happened when I died though. I had no great epiphany and regress or have a meeting with god. Instead I waited in a line until suddenly I opened my eyes again. Turned out i was now a baby calf. A simple son of a cow it was actually peaceful. The Farmer was nice, his wife lovely and beautiful woman, and the farmer's son. He was a tad bit a trouble maker, but I could tell he was a good kid with how he whispered sweetly to the cows as he put them to bed.

I was something like a year old now and I was happy. Ah this reminds me of a internet pasta in my past life. Where you wake up and lick your gecko eyes and worrying about making ends meet by selling furry porn online was just a dream. As sunbathing away those worries...

I nodded slightly as I chewed more grass. The patch was particularly tall and I had it all to myself. I blinked as my eyes met a pair of weird yellow eyes. They remind me bit of a goat and I stepped back slightly. My eyes widened as the little bugger the eyes were connected to jumped out of the bush and tried to hit me.

I raised my hooves high and kicked hard as the green freak was sent back. Turning myself around I started screaming or I guess Mooing. The creature I just kicked was a fucking goblin, like the type of goblin to be in video games and shit. The farmer ran out after I had begun startling the other cows and calves. He started screaming in whatever language the humans around here spoke in. Originally I thought it was a Asian language, but as I ran, I really begun realizing a few oddities I knew about.

The language was one, but the Farmer was rather lien for a farmer. Not even mention his son who practiced weird sword movements in his free days. I slammed into the barn's wall before planting my butt back down and turning to look at the Farmer fighting the goblin. However as he fought, more began to show up. The Farmer's Son ran to his father with two swords and helped him.

It was a awe striking as the Farmer I knew became a entirely different person. It was fun to watch except for the fact I heard a scream. At first I didn't really think about it, but as I recognized familiar enough words I realized it was from the Farmer's wife. The Farmer and Son didn't seem to notice.

I huffed I was no hero, but at the same time.... I sighed I knew the reputation goblins had in fantasy. I ran toward the farmer's house at full speed. The Farmer's wife was a saint who didn't deserve some unfortunate circumstance. Not to mention with how she looked better then most from my past life it added yet another oddity.

I jumped straight into the glass window smashing it to pieces. I had no horns and as a barely growing calf I didn't have much strength. Hell that goblin I kicked early barely flinched, the only reason it was pushed back was its own surprise. So using my smarts from my past life I twirled as prepared a kick with my hind legs. Capping the goblin in the back of the head it stumbled forward impaling it self on the fire poker the Farmer's wife was holding.

The Wife looked at me at surprise, until she was broken from it when two more Goblins dug out from the a hole in the floor board. They had crawled in through the cellar of the house. Moving quickly I grabbed the still impaled goblin and thew it to the side and into the hole pushing the goblins that were coming up back.

The Farmer's Wife begun running up the stairs to the left of me and I sighed. Was she leaving me to die or to get a weapon? I began shoving more shit down the hole the goblins made. They made disgusting sounds.

"Kruk! Kreee! Ugk! Miru Pu Meli Telc."

I had no idea what it said but as one shoved its hand out of the hole I stomped on it again and again. A second later though I was pushed to the side as the Wife suddenly slammed a fucking mace into the Goblins head. She killed it instantly and it kinda shook me. Why did she scream early if she could do that?

She begun yelling again and I heard the Farmer outside the house. Suddenly the Farmer appeared below the hole stabbing at the goblin still down there. He looked up and I stared back. The staring contest was only broken when I sudden blue light flashed me.

I jumped back and fell on my back as a chime played in my ear.

<You have assisted in warning the farmer!>

<You have assisted in protecting the Holmstead Farm.>

<You have assisted in killing 3 goblins and killed 1.>

<You have achieved the require experience and achievement to level up!>

<You are now level 1 Calfling.>

I blinked laying on my back still as the Farmer's wife rubbed at my head smiling at me. I had no idea what this was about, but I heard the Farmer's voice as he talked with his son. When I heard a word that kinda struck a cord with me.

With just thinking the word the blue filter reappeared.

<You have opened the status menu with you own ability! Say Status in the Termain Tongue and you will open the menu whenever.>

I couldn't physically say Zatus so I guess it worked based on my intention. I mean I just thought of the word again and it didn't appear. So that was neat I guess, so add foreign magic to the list of oddities! I was so in another world confirmed at this point.

Goblins could be explained off as some I don't know science experiment gone wrong where I'm reincarnated int he future and.... Nah that was all to complicated. Not to mention the Termain Tongue was clearly not from Earth. I thought of the word Zatus again and the blue filtered window had expanded before me.

<Name: N/A

Species: Lowland Docile Cafling

Level: 1

Skills: Memories of Past Life, Status Menu Settings, Status Menu Logs, Munch, Heel Kick

Evolution tree: Lowland Bull, Lowland Cow(Will undergo gender change)>

<Status screen is translated for your leisure!>

I blinked a couple times what the fuck is this shit. I blinked a little more and realized I wasn't actually blinking I just couldn't keep my eyes open. With one last glance I made a note to check this out again later.