Regret

Renée was feeling nervous. Anara had been able to convince her to visit her gynecologist so that they could get confirmation as to whether or not she was pregnant. If the test came back positive, things would become a lot more complicated then they were about to be. But if the test came back negative, she would be at peace with herself. She'd be safe and Dante would be able to keep his job. No one would need to know.

Either way, she had to let go of Rocky. It was wrong of her to carrying on stringing him along and allowing him to think that she felt the same way about him too. She wouldn't deny that she had been in love with him at some point of their relationship but now she realised that it had never really been love on her part.

She'd simply been in love with the idea of him.

And not to mention, it was impossible to fall in love with someone by force. The more pressure that her father put on her for them to be an item, the more she began to fall out love with him. This whole situation was fucked up and her actions didn't make it any better.

Anara held her hand tightly who was almost as nervous as Renée was at the upcoming news.

The outcome could literally make or break her.

People were known to go 'missing' for disappointing Mark Rivers and she knew that her father wouldn't hesitate to eliminate Dante if he found out that he had impregnated her. It was as good as betrayal in his books.

Renée looked up at the ceiling praying to any god out there to help her. She needed all the help that she could get right now and she didn't care where it came from. Just so long as she and Dante were safe. That was her main concern right now.

"Miss Rivers?"

Renée and Anara's heads snapped in the direction of the voice which belonged to a doctor who was watching them with an unidentifiable emotion written on her face.

Renée felt tense and meekly replied, "Yes?"

The doctor nodded at them to follow her and they rushed to hear her news. She gestured for them to take a seat and Renée felt her heart drop a little. All the signs were pointing to her that this wasn't good news.

"I'm afraid to say that the pregnancy test came back positive. You're about 5 weeks gone." She said regretfully.

Renée felt Anara grip her hand a little tighter and she had to swallow her tears down. This wasn't the time or place for her emotions to come in between her logic.

The doctor scribbled a note down and handed the piece of paper to her which she didn't bother reading.

She was still in shock. Deep down, she wanted the test to be a fake positive. That way there was a lower risk of anyone getting hurt but now she had get through an abortion with her sister by her side.

If this was under other circumstances, then she wouldn't have ever considered this option but what else could she do?

She felt despair and hopelessness at her situation. Her and Dante should never have happened. They both had been aware of the risks and complications that they'd have to face if anyone found out but it was too late for regrets. Now, they both had a high price to pay.

"Thank you, Doc." Anara said, holding onto Renée's arm and pulling her up off the chair with her. "I'll call you to let you know when we'll be ready to get that abortion sorted." She added before leading her out of the room.

Thoughts were swarming her brain and she didn't say a word until she got into Anara's car. She immediately broke down into tears. She was crying because she was so scared about what could happen to her and she was also crying because she couldn't believe that she had been so thoughtless to do such a thing. Anara tried her best to comfort her but what was there to say? Once she broke up with Rocky, suspicion would arise and her father would go pointing fingers to whoever suited him to take the blame for their relationship ending. He'd demand an explanation and Rocky had never been one to lie, especially to her father. She knew just how intimidating he could be.

There was no escape from her father's wrath.

Anara began driving but no words were exchanged between the two sisters. They were both as terrified as each other at what could happen in the next few weeks.

Anara parked her car outside their house and Renée jumped out as quickly as possible, desperate to lock herself in her room to cry it out.

Tears in her eyes, she stormed her way into the house and made her way into her bedroom, feeling the servants and workers' eyes on her who clearly sensed her bad mood. She slammed her door shut not caring about the noise she was making. It was only when she blinked the tears out of her eyes that she realised that she wasn't alone.

"Rocky?"

"You forgot, didn't you?" He sighed, putting his phone away.

She searched his eyes for an answer as to why he was here out of the blue again. She racked her brains for a while before she felt shame wash over her. She'd done it again. She always put him last when he put her first.

"I'm so sorry." She sobbed. "I'm a mess."

Rocky reached over to her sympathetically to close the distance between them but she pushed him away. She couldn't do it. She couldn't continue pretending to love him. The longer she kept this up, the more it would hurt him in the end.

"What were you doing at the abortion clinic?" Rocky asked, his tone flat.

Renée stared at him in shock. How did he know? She wanted to explain but the words wouldn't come out so she stared at him, her mouth open wide.

"Why didn't you tell me that we were having a baby? And why the fuck would you consider getting aborting it without talking to me first? It's my child too." His tone was firm now and she could sense his hurt.

"I'm sorry. I.. I didn't know what else to do." She whispered still trying to understand how he had found out where she and Anara had been today.

She felt Rocky's arms wrap around her and he rested his head into the crook of her neck. He placed a soft kiss on her neck and her breath hitched in her throat. She couldn't do this. Not again.

"Get off." She said under her breath but he paid her no attention and continued to place kisses on her neck until she said with force, " Get the fuck off me, Rocky!"

His brown eyes darkened, a mix of confusion and anger swirling within them.

"What's up with you?" He demanded. "This is good news yet here you are acting off with me."

"No. " She said flatly, "It's not your baby."

He recoiled away from her even further at those words. He looked at her disgusted and hurt. He shook his head at her a few times, laughing breathlessly.

"I'm sorry. I thought I just heard you admitting to cheating on me." His eyes narrowed in disbelief at her words.

"It's the truth. I slept with Dante. You're not the father."

" When?" He said raising his voice which caused her to flinch slightly.

This was the Rocky that everyone tried to avoid. He was close to losing it and that meant he would do something that he'd regret later.

"On my birthday." She said filled with shame.

"I can't believe this." He cried, putting his head in his hands. " I could accept that you didn't love me yet because I didn't feel like rushing us but I can't accept you lying to my face for the past few weeks. How could you sleep with me again knowing that you had been sleeping with Dante behind my back?" He yelled the last bit before he completely broke down into bitter tears, clutching his chest as if his heart really did hurt.

"Rocky I-" She began crying too seeing just how much she had hurt him. "I'm so sorry. I never deserved you. You're too good for someone like me. This is what I do. I hurt people but I promise that I'll never hurt you again." She had closed the distance between them by placing her hands on his face. His eyes looked so sad and she could see his pain. She felt it too.

He looked into her eyes. tears staining his handsome face.

" I loved you.I always will and I hate that." His voice cracked a little and he pushed her away from him. " I hate that I'll never be able to forget the colour of your eyes or the sound of your laugh or the feel of your lips on mine. No one can compare to you. When I close my eyes, all I see is you. All I ever did was love you and care for you but I wish I never had. It wouldn't hurt the way it does to know what you've done to me.I hoped that just one person wouldn't hurt me. I hoped that I was enough for somebody. Well I'm sorry that I wasn't enough for you. "

He stood up and wiped his red eyes making his way to the door. He opened the door and she waited for him to leave but his hands remained on the door handle. He had one lingering question that he needed an answer to.

"Do you love him?" He kept his eyes forward, not wanting their eyes to meet.

"No." She said.

He nodded his head and left leaving her all alone. She didn't know what hurt more: the fact that he had loved her so deeply or the fact that he'd never be able to forgive her for what she had done. Perhaps she'd never be able to forgive herself either.

"I'm sorry." She said to herself. She closed her eyes, fresh tears sliding down her cheeks. "I'm sorry that I'm me."

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