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A Rattling Monster [Completed] (Editing in Progress)

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Fantasie
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Zusammenfassung

Sometimes your time to die has come, and sometimes stupid gods are the reason. For Marc Cassidy, it was the latter. Fortunately for him, he got another chance to live in another world, away from Earth. In the bargain of that chance, he got one of the most awesome cheat ability available, a RPG like system. On the other hand, the goddess he scammed turn him into the worst of the worst creature, a rat. Of course for this petty act, Marc is humble and forgiving. He will not take revenge, he will just try to be powerful enough to repay that favor. In the meantime, how can a system help him survive and grow stronger in a strange fantasy world? Currently, looking for an editor to correct my chapters. And finally, you will be able to enjoy real chapters cleanly written.

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Chapter 1Of gods and men

All forces in the universe have a certain balance. Light gives birth to the shadow. Good and Evil co-exist in an everlasting equilibrium. So if a being that could threaten that balance, like a great Demon King, emerged, a counterpart would be born shortly after. The world may call him a Hero, the Saviour or whatever great name they could think of. However, in the end, those two would be connected by their fate and without one, the other's existence would be devoid of meaning. What's the point of a hero when there is no equal threat? Becoming a gardener?

However, when beings at the pinnacle of power fought each other with all their might, all their curses, blessings and miracles granted by their god, the fiber of reality itself could be damaged. To prevent that, each god that has chosen a champion is watching over them to maintain order.

Such a scene of clashing forces could be found between the proud and noble Tarrick of Astria, blessed by the Goddess Aria, and the despicable and cruel Khordal of Forslo, chosen by the God Oslo. Of course, those titles were purely subjective because, this time, it was the human world of Astria that invaded the demon world of Forslo. Their noble pretext was to kill and purge those vile and foul demons, which coincidentally were not responsible for any killing until the day of invasion and the real reason for their invasion was to steal Forlso's wealth and mine for the worlds precious metals and magical gems. Unfortunately, after a drawn-out battle, Tarrick was winning and God Oslo began to fear for his champion. Enraged he began to reprimand the goddess watching the fight with him:

"Seriously, you gave him [Status Immunity]?!! Do you even have the right to do such a thing? You know that not even some gods have it and you gave it to a human? How in the Nine Heavens is Khordal supposed to beat him?" shouted Oslo.

"Not my problem, if you want to keep your world intact just state the truth." Aria said calmly.

"What bloody truth, you mean the fact that Freya is more beautiful than you?"

"I AM MORE GORGEOUS THAN HER!!! And until you admit it I will keep my blessings where they are." Threatened the goddess.

Having this clearly enraged, but nonetheless beautiful, goddess face him in such an awkward way dumbfounded Oslo and he fell into deep contemplation. While saying that Aria was more beautiful than Freya was not that big of a deal in itself if the latter found out that he had said such, well, death would be a boon in that case. In the end, both he and Aria were still lesser gods, each in charge of only one world. Freya, on the other hand, was towering above them like a mountain, controlling thousands of worlds. No, he just needed to have this bothersome human champion of her's die and then for the next twenty years, he will be free of the threat of a Hero. Without a Hero, nothing could threaten his world. That being said, it's not like the Hero was the strongest fighter in the world or that the Demon King was the strongest among the demons. They were the most powerful, solely because they had gods backing them. And if either one of the two champions died, the world of the victor could take over the world of the loser without a hitch.

Now, how could he get rid of him? While he kept searching for a feasible method, his great Demon King was receiving quite a beating and in the next few minutes, he would probably have his last breath. However, feeling that things were going south, Oslo's champion took out a dark stone which was pulsating as if alive from a spatial ring that he always kept on himself.

"Khu, Khu, Khu, puny human, you have reduced this great sovereign to this pathetic state, but with the artifact given by the Great God himself, you will be doomed!!!" proclaimed Khordal loudly.

Wary of his enemy's final trump card, the Hero Tarrick quickly changed into a defensive stance and began to conjure his greatest defensive spell. Realising what the Demon King's dark stone was, Aria gave Oslo a stare as if wishing for murder.

"Oh I see, so MY blessings are unfair but YOUR [Death Ray] is allowed? Now I wonder what the Nine Heavens will say when they find out?" spouted the goddess sarcastically while lightly clapping her hands.

"Shouldn't you be worried by the fact that none of your blessings will deal with this?" shamelessly responded the god.

He was right on this point, there was no way that the Hero could survive the force of this spell by himself. A conjuration such as this, that could potentially kill even a god, was not a joke to be taken lightly. Since both of the gods had already breached the regulations in a grand manner, Aria thought it was just fine to help her chosen champion, the Hero, again by granting him a powerful spell-shield. And so she gave him the [Mirror of God] a divine blessing, that could negate the unholy spell of Oslo's champion. She only forgot the mirror part of the blessing, thinking that if everything went smoothly, the magic contained inside that dark crystal will be sent back to this menacing demon, what could possibly go wrong? As the deadly spell was launched with all its might, space-time seemed to tremble under its pressure. Looking just like an extremely oversized black thunder it didn't even need a moment's breath to traverse the distance between them and clashed onto the shield causing it to creak under its force. The Hero full of dread mustered all his might while shouting out loudly and pushed the shield against the black force. Time had seemed to stop. But finally, just as the shield was giving out and disintegrated into myriad pieces, with a righteous sound, the dark thunder was deflected and bounced into space. And at the sight of a potentially deadly spell traveling across the universe, both gods held their breath hoping that it dissipates quickly enough. It did not.

It was a beautiful day with absolutely no cloud as far as the eye could reach. The clear blue sky was gently touched by sunrays and Marc Cassidy was just leaving his workplace. He had managed to extend the deadline of a work project by one more week by reporting the fact that some of his co-workers were striking and therefore slowing down the progress. He probably would not get the promotion he had aimed for after finishing this project but at least he would not be labeled as incompetent. Of course, his striking colleagues would not appreciate his move when they found out, but he did not really care. Those that were still really working would be grateful that he voiced his opinion and stated the facts.

Nearing the beginning of his thirties, he had neither wife nor children and not a lot of friends to speak of. The relative closest to him was eight hundred kilometers away. Marc was living a grey life with no surprises, big ups or downs and he was satisfied with that. And what made his day even a bit better was when his neighbors had problems. He was as such, that he enjoyed the misery of others more than seeking pleasure for himself. For example, traveling around the world or eating exotic food meant little to him. Besides some jogging and doing push-ups to keep himself in shape, he spent most of his free time watching movies, reading books on paper or online and playing video games.

That's why for him, avoiding a negative grade and make his colleagues suffer a little were just good enough. Whilst being on the way to his car he was thinking about how he would spend his evening. The parking lot was only a short distance away from his workplace and a few steps before reaching his car he suddenly lowered his gaze. Right before his feet was a hundred euros note on the ground. Feeling the euphoria he rushed to grab it, thinking about the saying how good things always come in pairs. Today, he had extended his deadline and found some good money. And just as he lifted the note up over his head, to use the sunlight to see whether it was a fake note, he suddenly noticed a dark light at the edge of the sky that was quickly becoming bigger. And before he could even have time to realize what happened, hit by something, he suddenly felt his consciousness fading, entering oblivion. His last thought being, that misery loves company.

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Inhaltsverzeichnis
Volumen 1 :A new World
Volumen 2 :The Shadow Of The Clans
Volumen 3 :Havoc in the Capital
Volumen 4 :Menace from Below

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DomesticMallard
DomesticMallardLv4

Stories don't have to be best selling novels with perfect diction. They don't have to use literary elements to the upmost expertise. The character building and development don't have to be perfect, and the interactions between those characters don't need to be flawless. This story is a mesh of lots of goods that come together to create a great story. A story isn't all about what it excels at, or what it lacks in. Similar to people, a story is a sum of all of its parts, and "A Rattling Monster" is the perfect example of a great story created by introducing lots of good points. The main character is funny and while easy to predict, and even a bit cringey, is still fun to see run about. The story is incredibly enjoyable to read despite the little things everyone will find they might not like in comparison to something else they may have enjoyed. I have said this a few times before, but originality is hard to come by these days, so it is up to the authors to take those seemingly cliche ideas and put their spins on them. They may even choose to just write the cliche so well it becomes magnificent for what it is and not the plot devices it seems to follow. "A Rattling Monster" is a story about an MC turned rat and his progression in the poisonous and otherwise deadly arts. There is comedy splashed in with lots of action and death for the glory of our rat god (MC). The plot development is nice, and while the characters are a bit lacking, it really isn't much do fret about. I always see people complaining about how ridiculous a story is because of minor things like character interactions not being good enough because in their eyes it must be equal to award winning performances, and I never truly understand how that can be a turn off for someone. If you are one of those people then leave right now and don't even affiliate yourself with this story because it is far from perfect. That said, despite it being far from perfect, who ever said a story must be perfect to be heavily enjoyed? I love this story and I will continue to follow it as it goes on. It is definitely worth a read, and you'll probably get hooked within the first 15 or so chapters as you get a feel for just who the MC is and how the story progresses. Give it a read, you'll probably not regret it. It won't soak up much of your time either so even if you begin to dislike it, at least it will not soak up too much of your time before you realize you'd rather find another story.

Officepony
OfficeponyLv14

Not sure where all the 5-stars are coming from, but the story is decent. The writing quality is pretty bad. It's written more in the style of a semi-literate RPG found on some web forums than an actual story. Story narration happens in parenthesis which just throw you out of the story with a small montage style bit of information that could have easily been incorporated into the actual story itself instead of breaking the immersion. Dialogue is usually on prefaced with a dash (-) instead of quotation marks (") making them appear as more of a bullet-point presentation instead of actual dialogue. Descriptions are a bit lacking giving only really a bare-bones picture. Updates are good at the pace they are coming, no qualms here. If the story quality improves The story itself is promising and while over-done could really carry some weight if the writing quality improves. The character designs need a bit of work. While it may just be a problem with the writing not being descriptive enough, I don't really get a sense for any character personality aside from the MC and the initial interaction with the Goddess. The world building is weak. I can't really get a sense for where in the world the MC is, not for any interconnectedness between environments. This might just be because there are too few chapters to make any real connections yet (some stories need quite a while to really link places together). All in all, it's not too bad, but it could be better, mostly if the writing quality improves.

Anguisdrassil
AnguisdrassilLv4
GraveWalker
GraveWalkerLv4

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