9 My Light in the Darkness

Darkness.

Darkness as far as I could see...

One of the most consistent things in my memory. Was this the reason I was born in this world? To stay in this darkness all alone? If so, what a cruel fate it was. If you will call this my destiny, then please, someone, come and end my misery.

Am I sad? Yes.

Am I afraid? Very.

Why was I given such a fate? Could it be taken back before it was too late?

I didn't understand back then that I had a disability. I thought that it was a normal thing. I thought that everyone was like me, living in our own dark worlds. But, I was wrong. I was wrong all along.

I have a sister, twins they call us. Her name is Claire Maxwell, a sweet little girl.

I have a mother, who dearly loves us. Her name is Elizabeth Maxwell, a very doting mommy.

I once had a father, now I had none. My relatives said that it was a traffic accident, but my mother believed that it was an incident.

Sometimes, I secretly wish that it was I who was gone. The me who has no expectations in this life that only began. I'm sure the three of them would be able to live happily. Even if I was not around they would smile with serenity.

Chloe Maxwell, that was my name. The little blind girl that lived on Ivory Lane. Playing alone in her own little world. Waiting everyday for a story to be told. Of princes and princesses from lands far away. Of knights slaying dragons that led people astray.

Oh! How wonderful it would be if I could go there and play.

Would the prince really love me and tell me to stay?

My life remained unchanged for so many years. Until someone heard me weeping from under my sheets. There was a sudden pull, then the blanket covering me was gone. In its absence stood someone, my future dearest one.

In my world filled with darkness, a single spot was cleared. It was then when I realized, my Prince, finally appeared.

"Who are you?" I asked while looking in his direction.

"Ciel Summers," he replied without any hesitation.

"Why are you here?" I asked one more time.

"My mother brought me here," he answered with a smile.

A smile what was that? And how did I know? I was a blind person, how could I possibly know? Perhaps it was a feeling, or maybe intuition. This person gave me a feeling that was beyond comprehension.

Raising his hand he patted his head. "This is called hair."

I stared and then nodded.

Then his hand moved a bit downward with great ease and care.

"This is my nose. Do you see that it's pointy? And, these are my eyes. Aren't they a beauty?"

Beauty? I don't know. I have nothing to compare. But, at that point in time, I don't really care. He continued to teach me the parts of his body. From the top of his head to the bottom of his foot. He spoke freely and steadily.

Now that I thought about it, on that memorable day, I was just seven years old who was led easily astray by an eight-year-old boy. The adults have a term for this. Ah! I remember. I believe it was called cradle snatching?

When I asked Ciel this question, it was many years in the future. "Did you cradle snatch me? Was that your intention?"

He tilted his head and rolled his eyes. "How could I possibly cradle snatch you? A girl that was a year younger that I barely knew? A girl filled with snot and tears, oh there was plenty of drool too!"

His answer was irritating. He shouldn't have replied! Ciel, how could you bully me like this? I have nowhere to hide!

Many days passed, and our young selves grew closer. Everyday was fun and I could feel myself getting stronger. Then, a miracle happened, it was out of the blue. My world suddenly had colors, it was something very new!

Like a fogged-up window where you could barely see. A tiny dot of clarity suddenly appeared. It was then I realized that I could finally see. Seeing my mother, and sister, for the very first time, how strange could it be?

I was taken to our family doctor and he was surprised. He thought that I would be permanently blind for my entire life. My clouded eyes became much clearer, but the vision was limited. After doing some tests, he couldn't find an explanation.

"It's similar to Retinitis Pigmentosa," the doctor said with uncertainty. "It is the closest comparison I could make. She can partially see, but it requires great effort on her part."

"Is there a way for her to be able to see completely?" my mother asked as she held my hand gently.

The doctor tapped the table with his finger. "For her to be able to see like this is already a miracle. Are you using some kind of treatment?"

"No," my mother replied firmly. She didn't know, or perhaps she knew that it was Ciel who helped me improve my condition. Although she had doubts, she kept mum about it. After all, who would believe her?

"No? If we could discover the cause, we might be able to find a way to improve her vision. Being able to see completely is not impossible."

I didn't look at my mother, but I could feel a shudder run through her body. She was wavering. I gripped her hand tighter, and she regained her composure. In the end she didn't say anything else and thanked the doctor for his time.

"Thank you, Mommy."

"Why are you thanking me?"

"Because you didn't mention Big Brother's name."

Young as I was, I do not fully understand this feeling. However, I was sure that if people were to know that it was Big Brother that helped me partially see, I might not be able to see him again. This I knew with certainty. I mustn't let it happen.

[A/N: Since Ciel was a year older than Chloe, she started to call him Big Brother in front of other people.]

After stepping out of the hospital, we planned to head to a nearby cafe to have an afternoon snack. However, I suddenly felt a stinging sensation in my eyes.

"It's too bright!" I said as I immediately covered my eyes. "Mommy, my eyes hurt."

My mother hurriedly took out my sunglasses and lightly fixed them over my eyes. Although the situation was better, I couldn't help but feel down. When it was too bright, I couldn't see. When it was too dark, I couldn't see. Whenever I tried to use my vision to scan my surroundings, I was always physically and mentally exhausted.

My head would ache, my neck would ache, my eyes would ache, everywhere ached. The only person I could see clearly, without putting in as much effort was Big Brother Ciel. When he appeared near my surroundings, my eyes would naturally lock on his position.

No matter how far away he was, I would be able to see him. Because of this, my mother, and sister were extremely jealous of him. However, they were also very happy for me. Three years passed, and my condition became stable. I learned how to navigate through my surroundings using a walking stick. Even if no one was accompanying me, I was confident that I wouldn't get lost in our house.

"Chloe!"

I was sitting comfortably on a chair in our garden when I heard the familiar voice of my mother. She was calling out to me from way beyond the gate, and I could faintly discern that she was waving at me. I focused all my attention on the blurry image that was slowly walking towards my direction. I waved back and patiently waited until she was three meters away from me.

Yes, three meters. That was the current range where I could see things a little better. This range of vision extends to ten meters, if I was together with Big Brother.

"Welcome home," I said before exchanging kisses with my mommy. "You're early today mommy. Did something happen?"

Elizabeth, my Mommy, sat beside me. She lovingly poked the side of my face. "Well, something good did happen. We managed to close an important business deal today, and because of that we are going on a family vacation!"

My face cramped when I heard her words.

I don't really like to go on vacations. Traveling makes me tired, and I don't want to be surrounded by strangers.

However, I couldn't say that to my hardworking mommy. I knew that she was always tired and stressed out from work. I know that she badly needed a vacation. Perhaps my discomfort appeared on my face, since she immediately said something that caught my attention.

"Although, I say we are going on a vacation, we're just heading to the countryside," Mommy said with a smile. She observed my face and waited for my reaction. "We're going to the Belle Estate to play with Ciel for a week."

"When are we going?" I asked in a heartbeat. I did my best to hide the excitement in my voice. I'm sure that Mommy didn't notice the eagerness in my tone.

I heard mommy suppressed a giggle and I knew that I failed.

Fine. This was just a minor setback. I'm still young and not yet an adult. In a few years, I would grow up to be a beautiful and proper lady that Big Brother would love.

Should I ask the maids to pack my clothes? Are we leaving tonight? Oh no! Do I have new dresses to wear? Should I convince Mommy to leave in an hour? Various thoughts appeared inside my head.

No good. I was getting impatient!

It couldn't be helped. It had been a while since I saw Big Brother Ciel. I missed him very much. For me, he was the moon that shone in the dark night, and also the sun that brightened up my day. Even if there would come a time when he would lead me astray, I would still hold to him dearly and not push him away.