193 The best night of my life

Colm 

He has a lot of pain. 

He died young. 

Just eighteen. 

I don't know how I feel about that. 

I want to shelter him; I want to keep him away from the world the way my parents did. It is dumb to think I can hold unto him and make sure no one else hurts him but that is how I feel. 

I fucking love this man so much and I don't even know him well enough. I can't even imagine how much more in love I would be when I finally peel off enough layers of him. 

"You went quiet," he breathes out and I see that he is looking at me curiously. 

"Just thinking,'' I shrug. 

"About?"

"Nothing important."

We both laugh lightly and then he leans forward and kisses me gently. For some reason, kissing Khalid makes me forget every bad thing that ever happened to me. When he pulls back after our kiss, there is sadness behind those blue-green eyes. He is beating himself up because of what he told me.