POV Simon

The past six months have been hell. Me and half of my team were hiding at enemy base, forced to blend in until we could get what we came for and get out. After a week there our cover was blown, we were under fire and had to fight our way out, but we made it and the mission was completed. I have been at base hospital for a week now, they wanted to make sure we were okay before shipping us back home. I had minor injuries. What kept me going was my love for Lina. She is all I could think about. Every day and Every night I thought of her, how I would win her back once I am home. I would never leave her again.

The bus dropped us off at base, I got in my car and drove straight home. To my surprise the house was quiet she wasn't here. It looks like she hasn't been here in months, all of her things from our room even the guest room were gone. I clench my fist, does this mean she's moved on? I decide to drive to Eva's, I'm sure she'll be happy to see me.

I ring the bell as soon as she opens the door and sees me she drops to her knees crying. I pull her up hugging her tightly. "Mom" it's the first time I've ever called her mom

"Simon?My Simon" she sobs on my chest, I stroke her hair. "I'm here" I say softly

"Come sit down" I lead her to the couch

"How? we thought you were?"

"That's a story for another time, I'm here now" I hug her

"Eva, I went to the house and Li... she wasn't there. Has she moved on?" the thought of Lina moving on made me sick to my stomach. I didn't want her to be happy if it wasn't with me. Call me selfish but I love her to my core. No woman would ever be enough for me, it was her I needed.

"Has she moved on? Seeing anyone?" her eyes open wide

"Darling, Lina hasn't stopped loving you, Love like that only comes once in a lifetime. I don't think she could ever move on" I sigh relieved at the fact that she is waiting for me.

"but there's more?" Eva takes my hand

"More? what do you mean more?" I stare at her

"Three weeks after you left, I took Lina to doctor Kaufman, we found out she was pregnant" My heart pounding out of my chest, I clench my jaw. Fuck! and I left her!

"Her pregnancy was hard. She passed out a few times due to stress I think the only thing that kept her together was the fact that the baby was a little piece of you she'd have forever" I can see the tears in Eva's eyes.

"Wait. Was?" I frown at her

"The day you were reported MIA or potentially killed in action..." she sobs "She had a miscarriage, she was three months pregnant at the time. The Doctor said that the stress and her not being able to eat caused the miscarriage" I clench my jaw, fuck fuck fuck. "She hasn't been the same since" I stand up, rage coursing through my body, I had to take it out on something, grabbing a chair I flung violently across the room screaming.

"Simon! please calm down" she takes me hand

"Fuck! what have I done Eva? I fucked up" I shout

"Simon please stop, she needs you more than anything right now"

"You need to understand we lost you but she lost both of you" tears well up in my eyes. I can only imagine the pain she must've felt

"I want to see her"

"She's with Charlotte, They wanted to do some gardening today. I'll come with you" We drive to Charlotte's house. I couldn't stay still, I was desperate to see her and hold her.

I stand at the entrance of the garden door, they can't see me but I can see them. I stand watching her, it was as if the world stood still. She was as beautiful as the first day I met her but something was different, she has lost so much weight, she looks tired and depressed. I done this to her, I'm a fucking selfish bastard. Look at her, my stomach churning at the sight of her. I wanted to hold her in my arms so bad and never let her go.

"I don't understand why you got this big ass tree" Charlotte says to her

"Well this big ass tree is a Wisteria, it blooms beautiful flowers and it's a vine tree, it'll grow over the pergola"

"Ok ok Mrs green thumb" Charlotte laughs

Eva gently pushes me "Go on Simon" I step out.

Charlotte sees me straight away, she gasps putting her hands over her mouth which made Lina look up too. She runs and jumps in my arms and hugs me. "Ouch" I wince "Careful sis, I'm all bruised up" she laughs

"Simon! I knew you'd be back!"

"We'll catch up soon sis, I need to go see my girl" I put her down and walk towards Lina.

My eyes not leaving hers. She stood there not saying anything or moving. She just stood there and watched me, eyes filled with pain and tears. I hate myself to have been the one to cause this much pain.

"I promised i'd come back for you and I promise I will never ever leave you again" she rest her forehead against my chest her tiny hands grabbing onto my T-shirt so tight it lift up exposing my belly.

Her eyes met mine filled with pain and sorrow. "You're real? You're here. I'm not imagining it again?" she whispers. My heart broke at the words, is that what she had been doing? Pretending I was there.

I bend down and kiss her lips gently, I thought about doing this every single minute of every day. She didn't kiss me back, I think she is just shocked. I pull back and I place my hand on her tummy tears in my eyes and my heart pounding.

She slowly pulls away "I'm sorry I need some time" she whispers and hurries to the door.

"Li?" Charlotte calls out. I look at Eva and Charlotte

"You need to give her some space Si. She lost.." Charlotte's face was sad

"I know" I say furiously "And it's all my fucking fault if I didn't leave her.... if I didn't leave she would still be pregnant. I fucking ruined her" I say angrily, this isn't what I pictured it would be like seeing her again.

"Simon you're angry and feeling a lot right now" Eva tries to calm me down

"No Eva, have you looked at her. It's for the best she's not with me. I ruined her life. I thought her ex made her miserable but look what I done to her. She was better off with him than with me. She's broken because of me" I was so angry with myself, I walk past Charlotte and Eva.

"Si don't say that, you know that's not true at all. Come on don't leave. We just got you back" Charlotte says softly

"I need to be alone right now, I'll see you later"

I get home but she wasn't here why did I expect her to be. I need to let her go, it's for the best I say to myself

After two days I decided to go see my family to catch up. As much as I wanted to be alone I also wanted to spend time with them. I missed them so much.