Dread

(THIS IS INSIDE GAIL'S HEAD . JUST TO MAKE THE NEXT PART MAKE SENSE. AFTER THAT, WE MOVE ON..WE NEED AN ALPHA ASAP...THE BOYS NEED TO GET READY. WAR IS COMING )

Life is unpredictable, just like the nature around us.  With its ever changing storms, sunny days,  the ever so gentle flakes and the not so favoured rainy days. Sometimes even in the middle of a summer stung dessert I have heard of a lightning strike force its way onto the already sun baked land , the vicious invasion itself reminding me of how my own mother was sometimes like that lightning on most of my days.

Today was a bit different though, even with such an intrusion as a text from my mother asking me to help her watch her parents this  afternoon due to the caregiver only  arriving tomorrow morning.The text was definitely something I did not expect but it just goes to show how little she cares about me.She knows I hate them! She knows they hate me! Why does she have to try bring me back to that place that for me was nothing but a dumping site of all my harrowing memories.!? 

If I go back they will definitely not miss tormenting me and she will not do anything about it...even that time  when they starved me and only gave me bread crumbs in hopes that I would die she did nothing!..they had the fuckin audacity to blame old age for forgetting a six year old at home with no food  while they went out with their friends even though they had volunteered to baby-sit me!.  I hate them! I hate them so much!.I look up to catch a glimpse of a confused Arian, I don't know why but sometimes being around him makes me feel comforted but to my surprise even with this boy in front of me, I can't help but feel muzzy. I need to get out of here, but I can't just leave Arian without a good excuse. 

Today  Terra lays in the back of my head , drifting about in the  cloudy mess of my mind  and for once he isn't saying anything. Its okay for me to let out my frustration once in a while. It is good for the both of us..but perhaps maybe I need to stop playing with the choca mocha cocoa double thick milkshake in-front of me and  look up to face Arian, he should not have to deal with my little mind tantrums. At least he tries to be nice to me irregardless of how most people at school had only described him as a maniac.