Extra: Pursuit of Happiness Poems

Grandpa Marky: You don't have to read this if you aren't a big fan of poems. This is pretty long as there are 6 poems that I mentioned in one of the chapters, some longer than others... I just thought it would be nice to put it here as I love to write poems. If you do read it, hope you like it! Thank you~! Arc 3 will be posted right after this!

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~ Searching

Walking along the narrow road was a treacherous journey.

You can fall.

You can trip.

You can get dragged.

Meet a dead end.

Caught up in a storm.

Hang off the edge of a cliff.

There were many obstacles.

Too many twists.

Too many pits

Too many.

Step by step

Feet on the ground

You run into people.

They can be your friend

or your worst enemy.

You can get betrayed.

Hurt.

Bruised.

Ridiculed.

Mocked.

Shunned.

But there could be love.

Friendships and relationships,

family and chosen families,

partners and comrades.

You could also be alone.

Just like this man.

He stood alone on his road.

Countless people had passed by,

but none stopped to accompany the man.

He didn't mind that.

His journey was a bit different from those around him.

He didn't care about his fate,

but cared only about one thing.

Happiness.

This man had an obsession for looking for this "happiness"

A treasure that many cherished and kept close.

Treasure because everyone kept it in a box to preserve it,

to remember it

like if they let go, it would disappear

Treasure because it would shine and glitter,

like expensive vases and silverware that were only meant to be admired and never used

Treasure because it was warm and filled with emotions,

like sitting by the fire during a blizzard, bundled up in blankets with family and friends

Treasure because those emotions were out of his reach,

it was like he was trying to get fruits off the tree,

but everyone beat him to it and he could only see the fruits at the top

He felt like he was the only one who didn't have this "treasure".

Could it even be called a treasure when everyone else had one?

But to the man who didn't have this "happiness", it was a treasure.

Even with a map,

he couldn't find anything in his heart.

There was nothing there

He had nothing

He felt nothing

He was nothing

But he didn't want to be nothing.

So he went on a search.

This man was searching for his happiness.

~ Childhood

The sounds of yelling and screaming

Echoed throughout the room

A young child crouched

He was terrified of their voices

They were never ending

Fists and hands being thrown

back and forth as they grabbed at each other's throats

As though they didn't feel the pain

Or his pain

He didn't understand

Why couldn't anyone save him

He felt so lost

Every time he reach his hand out

there was no one there

He didn't understand his pain

He felt it was normal

Normal

He wanted to be normal

~ Family

In the first roadblock, he stared at the landslide that covered his road

It was a huge mountain standing on top of the road

Towering over him,

Looking down at him

He pulled up his sleeves and got to work

At first, he tried to climb

He didn't have the proper equipment,

Flimsy arms

Didn't know how to hold on tightly

He was slow

The edges were too far apart

It was steep

The dirt from the mountain got stuck in his nails,

Fell on his head,

Got in his eyes

As he climbed and climbed,

he eventually fell to the ground with a bump on his head

The bump gave him a headache

He swore up and down like a sailor

But he couldn't figure out how to go up

Leaving him with only anger and twisted feelings

A mood he tried to cover and calm

but it took a long time before he realized

that the pile that stood on his road grew and grew

It grew almost as tall as the mountain next to him

Like the owner of the other mountain was shoveling it all on to his

Passing the baton to someone in the crowd instead of someone who was willing

There were landslides that slid on to his mountain

so he tried to dig his way out

He dug and dug until a hole formed

He could smell the earth,

surrounding him like a blanket,

trapping him in its embrace

Dirt in his eyes,

Into his nose,

Falling into his hair,

Crumbling under his feet,

Stuck between the cracks of his fingers

He dug and dug

He could feel he was going somewhere at first,

but his hands started to bleed,

his bones started to show,

the flesh covered in dirt

Realizing the state of his hands,

it stung to even look at them

He looked around and found that he was still in the hole

He wanted to continue but felt that he couldn't dig any longer

He crawled his way out of the hole he dug

The hole almost collapsed,

Almost crushed,

His lungs filled with dirt,

Clogged his nose,

Blurred his eyes,

Almost embraced him

The hole he dug was like a killer,

Following his every step

Waiting for him to trip,

but he made it out

Standing once again in front of the mountain,

he decided to walk around

He walked,

Tripped on a rock,

Almost crushed by another landslide,

Had dirt and stone shoveled,

almost burying him,

Had to jump over steep rocks,

And had to worry about being crushed by boulders

It was an endless road,

Like going around the world on its equator,

It took too long

Where was the end?

He realized he couldn't go around

The more he walked,

the more the mountain expanded

If he tried to climb,

he would keep falling down and bumping his head

If he dug,

the hole would go deeper into the mountain but never letting him leave

If he tried to walk around the mountain,

other things tried to kill him along the way

He turned to the other roads,

seeing what they had done

The man's eyes filled with fury as he watched people climb,

watched people crawl,

watched people dig

and make it out

Why was his mountain growing

and growing

and growing?

Why?

He looked at the roads next to him

And the other roads surrounding him

The people he called parents and siblings were piling their dirt,

rocks, and stones onto his mountain

Piling it higher

and higher

and higher

Letting his mountain grow

and grow

and grow

Along with the resentments within his heart, it all grew

and grew

and grew.

Until the towering mountain was so tall,

it toppled over

and covered him

Buried him

Embraced him

Eventually,

Taking him

~ Flying

Happiness was like migrating birds

Fleeting,

staying in some place,

but only to come and go again

Even if one wanted to hold the beautiful bird in one place,

it was impossible

They must fly

And maybe one day come back again

They came and went

They stopped and moved

They visit and then left

But the birds always came back

It was like a cycle

With darkness there was light,

With light there was darkness

With happiness there was sadness

With sadness there was happiness

A balance that could not be broken

A balance that kept the world upon its shoulders

He knew that if he wanted to find happiness,

he needed to find sadness

But he didn't realize that there were more than just two sides

The world was not just black and white

But there were an array of colors

like how there were an array of emotions

On his way he found anger

He found fear

Anxiety

Shame

Envy

Guilt

Pride

Hope

Boredom

The world wasn't just happy or sad

He found that there were lots of colors

Blues

Greens

Oranges

Reds

Yellows

Pinks

Purples

It wasn't just black and white

So many colors

So many emotions

So many

But where was his happiness?

~ Journey

It was a long and perilous journey

The man roamed the world

Mountains

Oceans

Forests

Deserts

Towns

Cities

States

Countries

He experienced a lot of hardships

A lot of heartaches

A lot of everything that makes

And then breaks

In shatters and in tatters.

But happiness seemed out of reach

People preached

People wrote speeches

Guides on happiness

With sides of experiences

With all the seriousness of life

That it all amounts to the achievement of happiness

But he couldn't find his

Was he immune to happiness?

He knew his feelings weren't stagnant, but the ripple of waves didn't move like others

Sometimes, it just swallowed him whole

Leaving him empty

And confused

He met a lot of people

With different pasts

and experiences

With different backgrounds

and identities

No one could tell him how to find happiness

No one gave him a clear answer

"You will know."

"It will come to you."

"It's a feeling like no other."

But what was this feeling

that he was supposed to feel

Was there something that he was missing?

They say it was supposed to heal

And real in

And steal his heart

To show him a world

Full of bright light

And colors

So charming

and so delight

It was like an assortment of fine jewelry and clothes

Different and vibrant

How far and long did he have to search?

Then one day he came across a man

A man who didn't tell him what his own happiness was

Didn't tell him how the man found his happiness

But he shook the way he thought

"Your happiness is yours.

You can't have people tell you what happiness is

because only you know what is yours.

You are the man walking in your shoes,

I am not.

So to find your happiness you need to find yourself

and what is yours, not others."

It seemed simple

It seemed easy

Effortless even

But when he closed his eyes, what he didn't see was himself,

but a stagnant lake,

frozen to the core.

Not a single soul around him

Not a breath of life in reach

Only he stood alone

On his frozen

Cold

And empty lake

Empty

~ Emptiness

Not in the way that he wasn't there

No,

he wasn't emotionless,

He felt

He knew he did

But it made sense

He traveled the world to meet new people

To see their life experiences

To see their views

and beliefs

But he forgot about himself

The journey he walked on wasn't to find what others had done

It was for what he had done

It's for what he had to do for himself

He neglected himself

Starved himself from feeling

He yearned for what others had

Not for what he had

He learned of others

But not himself

Which was why

he was left with nothing

Because he didn't try to find himself to begin with