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Pokemon: Unchained Idiocy

In a drunken birthday celebration, Vajk and his friends drink a mysterious "Arceus Vodka," jokingly speculating about its ability to transport them to the Pokémon world. As the alcohol takes hold, they pass out one by one, with Vajk last to succumb. A strange figure approaches, whispering cryptic words as Vajk slips into darkness. This Fanfiction can also be found at: RoyalRoad: https://www.royalroad.com/profile/350627 Fanfiction.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14348923/1/Pokemon-Unchained-Idiocy

ZatyaIsten · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
11 Chs

- Adopted? FUCK YEAH!

As the officer ushered Vajk through the sliding glass doors of the police station, the boy found himself enveloped in a world of harsh fluorescent lighting and cold, industrial decor. The lobby was a cavernous space, its walls a dull, uninviting shade of gray, adorned with a smattering of public safety posters and wanted notices that seemed to stare down at him with accusatory eyes. The air was heavy with the mingled scents of stale coffee, sweat, and the faint, lingering traces of cleaning products, a combination that did little to settle Vajk's already frayed nerves.

At the far end of the room, a long, scuffed wooden counter separated the public area from the inner workings of the station. Behind it, a tired-looking receptionist sat hunched over a computer, her fingers typing away at a keyboard with a steady, mechanical rhythm. She barely glanced up as Vajk and the officer approached, her attention focused solely on the glowing screen before her.

The officer guided Vajk past the reception desk and down a narrow, dimly lit hallway, their footsteps echoing off the polished linoleum floor. They passed a series of closed doors, each one bearing a small, nondescript plaque that hinted at the various departments and offices contained within. Finally, they emerged into a small, cluttered breakroom, where a handful of off-duty officers sat huddled around a battered table, sipping coffee and picking at the remains of their own late-night meals.

Among them was a tall, broad-shouldered man with a neatly trimmed mustache and a shock of salt-and-pepper hair. He looked up as Vajk and the officer entered, his piercing blue eyes widening slightly in surprise at the sight of the bedraggled child. The man rose from his seat, his movements slow and deliberate, and made his way over to the pair, his expression a mix of concern and curiosity.

"What have we got here, Johnson?" the man asked, his voice a low, rumbling baritone that seemed to fill the small space. He towered over Vajk, his imposing frame casting a long shadow across the boy's face.

Officer Johnson, as Vajk now knew him to be called, let out a heavy sigh. "Found this one wandering the streets alone, Captain," he replied, his hand resting lightly on Vajk's shoulder. "No ID, no idea where he came from or how he got there. Figured we'd better bring him in and sort things out."

The Captain nodded, his gaze shifting to Vajk. He studied the boy intently, his eyes seeming to search for something in Vajk's face. "You got a name, son?" he asked, his tone surprisingly gentle for a man of his stature.

Vajk hesitated, his mind racing as he tried to decide how much to reveal. "It's Vajk," he said at last, his voice small and uncertain. "Vajk... uh, just Vajk, I guess."

The Captain's brow furrowed, his mustache twitching slightly as he digested this information. "Vajk, huh? Strange name..." he repeated as if testing the unfamiliar name on his tongue. "Well, Vajk, why don't you have a seat over there and dig into that food while Officer Johnson and I have a little chat? We'll get this all sorted out, don't you worry."

As Vajk settled into the empty chair, he couldn't help but feel a sense of relief wash over him. Despite the tense atmosphere and the uncertainty of his situation, the warm weight of the takeout bag in his hands provided a small measure of comfort. With trembling fingers, he carefully unwrapped the "Miltank Special" burger, the crinkle of the grease-stained paper sounding unnaturally loud in the quiet room.

The moment the burger was freed from its confines, an enticing aroma filled Vajk's nostrils, causing his mouth to water in anticipation. He paused for a moment, taking in the sight of the massive sandwich before him. The bun was a golden-brown, perfectly toasted and glistening with a light sheen of butter. Sandwiched between the halves was a thick, juicy patty of Miltank meat, its edges slightly charred and sizzling with residual heat. Melted cheese oozed down the sides, mingling with the tangy aroma of pickles and the sweet, pungent scent of grilled onions.

Unable to resist any longer, Vajk lifted the burger to his mouth and took a huge, ravenous bite. As his teeth sank into the soft bun and the succulent meat, an explosion of flavors burst across his tongue, causing his eyes to widen in surprise and delight. The Miltank patty was unlike anything he had ever tasted before - rich, savory, and impossibly juicy, with a subtle undertone of smokiness that seemed to linger on his palate. The toppings added their own unique notes to the symphony of taste, the sharp tang of the pickles and the sweetness of the onions perfectly balancing the richness of the meat and cheese.

"Holy shit," Vajk thought to himself as he chewed, his mind momentarily transported from the confines of the police station to a realm of pure, unadulterated bliss. "I don't know what the fuck a "Miltank" is, but damn if it doesn't make a tasty burger!"

He took another massive bite, savoring the interplay of textures and flavors as the burger seemed to melt in his mouth. For a brief, fleeting moment, all of his troubles and uncertainties faded away, replaced by a sense of pure, primal satisfaction. It was a rare moment of respite in a world that had proven itself to be cold, harsh, and unforgiving, and Vajk clung to it like a drowning man to a life raft.

As he devoured the meal with gusto, Vajk couldn't help but marvel at the absurdity of his situation. Here he was, a man trapped in a child's body, sitting in a police station in a world where he doesn't know shit. Still, it was like a fever dream even though he already except the food was way better than anything his subconscious could've cooked up.

Vajk's musings were interrupted by the sound of hushed conversation, and he glanced up to see the officer who had brought him in deep in discussion with another colleague. The two men stood huddled together, their voices low and urgent as they occasionally cast furtive glances in Vajk's direction.

"...found him wandering the streets alone, no ID or anything," the first officer was saying, his brow furrowed in concern. "Says he can't remember how he got there or where he's from."

"Probably just another runaway," the second officer replied, his tone weary and jaded. "We'll put out a missing person's report and see if anyone comes forward to claim him. In the meantime, I guess we'll have to contact child services and see about getting him placed in a home or something."

Vajk felt a jolt of panic at the mention of child services, nearly choking on a mouthful of fries in the process. "Fuck that noise," he thought, his mind racing as he tried to come up with a plan. "No way in hell am I gonna let them stick me in some orphanage at the worst!"

He patted his pockets discreetly, feeling the familiar outlines of his wallet and phone. For a moment, he considered coming clean and showing them his ID, but quickly thought better of it. In this world, where he was apparently a child with no history or connections, it was probably better to play the helpless lost kid card.

Vajk took another bite of the burger, chewing slowly as he pondered his next move. He needed to find a way out of this mess, and fast. But with no money, no contacts, and no fucking clue how this crazy Pokemon world worked, his options were severely limited.

As he polished off the last of the fries, Vajk couldn't shake the feeling that he was royally screwed. Still, the food had helped to calm his nerves somewhat, and he felt a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, he'd be able to bullshit his way out of this situation somehow.

The Captain turned his attention to Vajk, his eyes narrowing as he studied the boy's face. "Alright, son, let's start with the basics. What's your full name?"

Vajk hesitated for a moment, his mind racing as he tried to decide how much to reveal. "Vajk... Vajk Vén," he said, at last, his voice barely above a whisper.

The Captain's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Vajk... Vén?" He repeated, stumbling slightly over the unfamiliar name. "How do you spell that?"

Vajk suppressed a smirk as he slowly spelled out his name, taking a perverse pleasure in the officers' confusion. "V-A-J-K V-É-N," he said, enunciating each letter with exaggerated clarity.

The Captain carefully entered Vajk's name into the computer, his fingers moving with deliberate precision as he double-checked each letter to ensure accuracy. "V... A... J... K..." he muttered under his breath, his brow furrowed in concentration. "V... É... N..." With a final keystroke, he hit the enter button and leaned back in his chair, waiting for the results to populate on the screen.

Seconds ticked by as the computer processed the query, the soft hum of the machine filling the otherwise silent room. Vajk watched the Captain's face, trying to read his expression as he scanned the information displayed before him. At first, the officer's eyes moved quickly, darting back and forth across the screen as he searched for any relevant data. But as the seconds stretched into minutes, his frown deepened, and his gaze grew more intense.

"No matches found," the Captain muttered, his voice low and perplexed. "Let's try a broader search."

His fingers flew across the keyboard once more, entering various permutations of Vajk's name and potential spellings. He tried searching for similar names, family names, and even partial matches, but each query returned the same frustrating result: no records found.

Growing increasingly suspicious, the Captain delved deeper into the system, searching for any trace of Vajk's existence. He checked for Trainer IDs, government-issued identification cards, birth certificates, and even school records, but each avenue led to a dead end. It was as if the boy had simply materialized out of thin air, with no past, no family, and no ties to the world around him.

"This doesn't make sense," the Captain growled, his frustration mounting with each failed search. "There's no record of anyone with that name in our database that we may can consider a relative. No Trainer ID, no ID of any kind, no papers, nothing. It's like you don't even exist, kid."

He turned to face Vajk, his eyes narrowing as he studied the boy's expression for any hint of deceit or evasion. Vajk met his gaze unflinchingly, his face a mask of innocent confusion, even as his mind raced with the implications of his predicament.

"Damn it," the Captain cursed under his breath, running a hand through his short-cropped hair. "Johnson, run a check with the other regions' databases. See if there's any record of this kid anywhere else."

Johnson leaned over the Captain's shoulder, his eyes narrowing as he studied the screen. "Maybe it's a foreign name?" He suggested, his brow furrowed in thought. "Could be from one of the regions we don't have a lot of contact with."

The captain nodded, "Good thinking Johnson, try that! Run a check with the other regions' databases. See if there's any record of this kid anywhere else."

Johnson nodded and set to work, his fingers flying across his own keyboard as he expanded the search to encompass the entirety of the Pokemon world. But even as he worked, Vajk knew that the effort was futile. There would be no record of him anywhere, no matter how far they searched or how deep they dug.

Vajk felt a flicker of unease at the Captain's words, but he forced himself to remain calm. "Well, that's not surprising," he thought to himself, his inner voice dripping with sarcasm. "Considering I'm from a whole different fucking world and all." The young boy couldn't help but roll his eyes at the officers' confusion. "For fuck's sake," he thought to himself, his patience wearing thin. "Just let me be already..."

The Captain leaned back in his chair, his brow furrowed as he studied the screen in front of him. "Johnson, any luck with the other regions' databases?" he asked, his voice tight with frustration.

Johnson shook his head, his expression grim. "No, sir. I've checked every database we have access to, and there's no record of anyone with this kid's name anywhere. It's like he doesn't exist."

The Captain sighed, rubbing his temples with his fingers. "Damn it. So we have no way of verifying his identity or where he belongs?"

Johnson shrugged helplessly. "I'm afraid not, sir. Without any official records or documentation, we can't even be sure that the name he gave us is real. For all we know, he could be making the whole thing up."

The Captain turned to Vajk, his eyes narrowing as he studied the boy's face. "Alright, son, here's the deal. We can't find any record of you or your family anywhere in the system. That means we have no way of knowing where you belong or who to contact to come and get you."

"So," the Johnson continued, approaching Vajk with a sympathetic expression. "We're gonna have to take you down to the children's home for now, at least until we can figure out where you belong."

Vajk's heart sank at the officer's words, and he felt a surge of panic rise up in his chest. "No, no, no," he thought to himself, his inner voice dripping with sarcasm. "A children's home, a fucking orphanage? Oh, that's just fucking perfect. Because being stuck in some government-run hellhole is really going to help me find a way back to my own world. Yay me. I need to get out of this situation before it is too late." he thought to himself as he slightly raised his voice.

"Listen, officers," he said, his voice trembling slightly as he tried to keep his composure. "I appreciate your concern, but I really don't think the children's home is the right place for me. I'm not some lost little kid... okay I'm technically lost, but I don't need to be coddled and protected. I can take care of myself."

The officers exchanged a skeptical glance, and Vajk could see the doubt written all over their faces. They probably thought he was just another runaway, a troubled kid with a chip on his shoulder and a head full of dangerous ideas.

"Sure, kid," the captain said, his voice dripping with condescension. "You're a real tough guy, aren't you? Well, tough or not, you're still a minor, and that means you're our responsibility until we can figure out where you belong."

Vajk's heart sank, but he forced himself to nod meekly, his eyes wide and innocent as he couldn't fight against them. "Okay, Officer," he said, his voice small and tremulous. "I understand."

Vajk's mind raced as he tried to come up with a way out of his predicament. The thought of being sent to a children's home filled him with dread, and he knew he had to act fast if he wanted to avoid that fate.

"Wait!" he blurted out, his voice tinged with desperation. "Isn't there any other way? I mean, I don't want to be a burden or anything, but surely there's got to be some other option besides the children's home?"

The officers exchanged a skeptical glance, their expressions a mix of pity and exasperation. "Look, kid," the second officer said, his tone firm but not unkind. "We get that you're scared, but the children's home is really the best place for you right now. They'll take good care of you there, and help you figure out where you belong."

Vajk's heart sank, but he refused to give up. "But what about other options?" he pressed, his voice taking on a pleading edge. "Isn't there anything else I could do? Maybe get a job or something?"

Johnson shook his head, a wry smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "A job? Kid, you're what, ten years old? No one's going to hire you at that age."

Vajk's cheeks burned with embarrassment, but he soldiered on. "Well, what about... I don't know, isn't there some kind of program or something for kids in this wor- I mean city? Like, a way to earn money or get some identification?"

The officers looked at each other, realization dawning on their faces. "Well," the second officer said slowly, "there is the Pokemon Trainer program. But that's not really an option for you, kid."

Vajk's brow furrowed in confusion. "Pokemon Trainer program? What's that?"

The first officer, Johnson sighed, leaning back in his chair. "It's a program that allows kids to become licensed Pokemon trainers," he explained. "They get to travel the world, catch and train Pokemon, and compete in battles and tournaments. But it's a really intensive program, and most kids start preparing for it when they're really young, like five or six years old besides regular school."

Vajk's eyes widened in surprise thinking about Pokémon is for children really. "Five or six years old? That's crazy! What do they have to do to prepare?"

The captain chimed in. "They attend special schools and training programs, learning everything they need to know about Pokemon, battling, and survival skills. It's a long, difficult process that takes years of study and practice. By the time they're ten years old, they're ready to take the Pokemon Trainer Exam and get their license."

"So, there's no way I could become a Pokemon trainer then?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

The officers shook their heads in unison. "Not a chance, kid," the first officer said, not unkindly. "You're way too old to start the program now, and you don't have any of the knowledge or skills you'd need to pass the exam. It's just not a realistic option for you."

Vajk's shoulders slumped in defeat. "I guess the children's home is my only choice then," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

The second officer placed a comforting hand on Vajk's shoulder. "I know it's not what you want to hear," he said gently. "But trust me, it's for the best. The people at the children's home are trained to deal with situations like yours. They'll help you get back on your feet and figure out where you belong."

Vajk nodded, feeling suddenly exhausted. The adrenaline that had been fueling him since he first woke up in this strange world was starting to wear off, leaving him drained and emotionally wrung out.

"Okay," he said at last, his voice small and defeated. "I guess I don't have much choice."

The officers exchanged a look of relief, their shoulders sagging slightly as the tension drained from the room. "We'll take you over to the children's home now," the first officer said, his hand still resting on Vajk's shoulder. "Don't worry, everything's going to be alright."

As the officers led Vajk out of the police station and towards the waiting patrol car, a suffocating sense of dread began to settle in the pit of his stomach, threatening to consume him entirely. Each step felt like a monumental effort as if he were wading through a thick, viscous sludge that clung to his legs and dragged him down. The weight of his predicament bore down on him like a physical force, crushing the air from his lungs and making it difficult to breathe.

But as he walked, his mind churning with the officers' words about the Pokemon Trainer program, a small spark of determination began to flicker to life in his chest. It started as a tiny ember, barely noticeable amidst the overwhelming fear and confusion that consumed him. But as he focused on it, nurturing it with his thoughts and his resolve, it began to grow stronger, catching fire and spreading through his veins like wildfire.

He might not know anything about this world or its systems, but damn it, he was a university student! He had spent years honing his mind and his study skills, pouring countless hours into learning complex subjects and mastering difficult concepts. He was no stranger to hard work and dedication, to pushing himself beyond his limits in pursuit of his goals.

And if there was one thing he had learned in his time at university, it was that knowledge was power. The more you knew about a subject, the more control you had over it. And while the idea of becoming a Pokemon trainer seemed daunting at first glance, he began to realize that it might not be as impossible as it seemed.

And while he knew that the real world was far more complex than any fictional universe, he also knew that the basic concepts and mechanics of Pokemon training couldn't be that different from what other kids had seen on screen either in the cartoon or games. As... Pokémon in his world... is only a franchise for mainly children... He doesn't have anything to lose.

"I want to do it," he said suddenly, his voice filled with resolve. "I want to become a Pokemon trainer," he bravely stated with a challenging smirk right at the officers as he turned his head.

The officers looked at him in surprise, their eyebrows raised. "Kid, did you not hear what we just said?" the first officer asked incredulously. "It's a really tough program, and you're way behind the other kids your age."

But Vajk was undeterred. "I don't care," he said firmly, his eyes blazing with determination. "I'm not going to just sit back and let myself be shipped off to some orphanage... Or child center, or however you call it! I'll do whatever it takes to become a trainer, even if it means starting from scratch."

He took a deep breath, his mind racing as he tried to formulate a plan. "Look," he said, his voice growing more confident. "I know I look like a stupid kid playing dress-up. I know I don't fit in here, that I'm an outsider in every sense of the word. But please, just give me a chance"

He looked at the officers pleadingly, his eyes wide and desperate yet still defiant. "Just... a chance," he begged.

The officers were silent for a long moment, their expressions unreadable. Finally, Johnson let out a heavy sigh. "Alright, kid," he said, his voice tinged with resignation. "If you're really serious about this, we'll see what we can do to help you get started. But I want you to understand that this is not going to be easy. You're going to have to work harder than you've ever worked before, and there's no guarantee that you'll even pass the exam... and I think this is unnecessary as your parents may just knock on our door in the morning searching for you."

"Listen, kid," the captain rumbled, his voice a deep baritone that carried an air of authority. "Johnson here is right. As he said, the Pokemon Trainer program is no joke. It's a grueling, demanding path that requires years of preparation and dedication. You're already years behind the other kids your age, and catching up is going to be one hell of an uphill battle."

Vajk met the Captain's intense gaze with unwavering resolve, his eyes burning with a fire that seemed out of place in someone so young. "I understand, sir," he said, his voice steady and clear. "But I'm not afraid of hard work. In fact, I thrive on it. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make this happen," he stated bravely without any doubt in his eyes...

However, it was the biggest lie he could've fabricated, he barely passed his past year as a student in the university thanks to his utter laziness, but he cannot stop now if he want to have some independence in the form of papers and finally search for some answers.

The Captain arched an eyebrow, clearly taken aback by the boy's confident demeanor. He opened his mouth to respond, but Johnson cut him off.

"Captain, if I may," the officer said, stepping forward. "I might have a solution that could work."

The Captain nodded, gesturing for Johnson to continue.

"Well, sir, as you know, my younger son is preparing to take the Pokemon Trainer Exam this month," Johnson explained. "He's been studying and training for years, working his tail off to get ready. And my older boy, he's away at university in Goldenrod City, so we have an extra room in the house."

Vajk's eyes widened as he began to realize where Johnson was going with this...

"Free real estate, damn it! More than I could ever hope for! FUCK YEAH!" His eyes were sparkling in satisfaction as he thought to himself.

"I suppose we could take the kid in for a while, at least until we can locate his parents or figure out a more permanent solution," Johnson continued. "My younger son could help him catch up on all the knowledge and skills he'll need for the exam. It won't be easy, but it might be his only shot at becoming a trainer."

The Captain nodded slowly, his expression still skeptical. "I hope you're right, Johnson. But even if your family is on board, there are still a lot of logistical issues to consider. The boy is going to need clothes, school supplies, and all sorts of other essentials. And then there's the matter of his education. If he's going to have any chance of passing the Pokemon Trainer Exam, he's going to need to be enrolled in a proper training program... or at least in the basic training program."

Johnson's shoulders sagged slightly, the weight of the responsibility settling on him like a physical burden. "I know it's not going to be easy, sir, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make this work. I'll talk to the school and see about getting him enrolled in the same program as my son. And as for the other stuff, well, we'll figure it out as we go."

The Captain was silent for a long moment, his gaze fixed on Vajk. The boy met his eyes unflinchingly, his expression a mix of determination and desperation. Finally, the Captain let out a heavy sigh.

"Alright, Johnson, I'll trust your judgment on this one. But I want regular updates on the boy's progress, and if at any point it becomes clear that this arrangement isn't working out, we'll have to revisit the situation. Understood?"

Johnson nodded, relief washing over his features. "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

The Captain waved his hand dismissively, his attention already turning to the stack of paperwork on his desk. "Don't thank me yet, Johnson. You've got a long road ahead of you, and there's no telling where it's going to lead. You're dispatched officer, take care of that child." he turned as he slowly walked back into the station.

Johnson turned to Vajk, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "Alright, kid, it looks like you're stuck with me for the time being. But don't worry, I'm not as bad as I look."

Vajk couldn't help but grin at the officer's attempt at humor. "I don't know, you look pretty bad to me," he quipped, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

Johnson chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. "Yeah, well, you're no prize yourself, kid. But I guess we'll just have to make the best of it."

He reached out and clapped Vajk on the shoulder, his grip firm but not unkind. "Come on, let's get out of here. We've got a lot of work to do if we're going to figure out where you belong."

Vajk nodded, feeling a surge of gratitude towards the officer. He knew that Johnson was taking a big risk by agreeing to take him under his wing, and he silently vowed to do everything in his power to make sure that trust wasn't misplaced.

As they walked toward Johnson's civil car the moonlight shone on the streets of New Bark Town, Vajk couldn't help but feel a sense of hope rising in his chest. Sure, he was still lost and alone in a world he didn't understand, but at least now he had someone on his side.

"So, where to first?" he asked, his voice eager and curious.

Johnson grinned, his eyes twinkling with excitement. "Well, I figured we'd start by getting you some proper clothes and gear. Can't have you running around looking like a lost Growlithe, now can we?"

Vajk laughed awkwardly not getting the reference in the slightest. "No, I guess not. Lead the way, officer."

- TO BE CONTINUED -