58 A Fateful Encounter

[Johan's POV]

Soft melody skittered from his earbuds as he turned the volume of his smartphone, drowning away the painful yearning of his heart as the bus journeyed through the pouring rain.

'I kinda miss the safety of his arms already.'

Opening his photo gallery, Johan swiped his thumb across the screen, smiling as he browsed through the pictures Sean had secretly taken. He berated him for his habit to take stolen photographs, but the shots were arguably good, so he kept them.

When he stopped on a certain photo, Johan felt the urge to post it on social media. The angle hid both their faces as they both laid on the hammock. Adrian trapped him in a possessive embrace, whilst Johan's folded leg rested on top of Adrian's hip.

With a sigh, Johan exited his digital gallery and pushed the yellow curtain to look outside. It's not like he could proudly announce a relationship with Adrian even if they became official.

One of the many arguments he had with Raymond was the secrecy of their relationship from their families. And it's a recurring issue even to the next. He wouldn't be surprised if it happened again with Adrian.

Logging out of his primary Facebook account, Johan logged in again using the alter-account he hasn't opened in a while: Hansen Frost.

A six-month-old display picture of himself peered at him through non-prescription glasses, a slight smirk playing across his lips. His usual forelock covering part of his left eye was tousled in a messy brush-up.

Unlike the strict rule he had on his primary account where he refused to entertain people he hadn't met in person, as Hansen, Johan would allow himself to mingle with strangers. Hansen Frost was the embodiment of the free person he wanted to be; something he can't achieve if he's bearing the name Johan Fernandez.

Without hesitation, Johan uploaded the photo with a caption: yesterday, with him. :)

It didn't take long for the comment section to be filled with curious questions and congratulatory messages. But since Adrian's face wasn't shown, his identity remained a mystery.

Johan gripped the flaps of Adrian's beige jacket and pulled it closer to himself. He sighed at the warm comfort it provided against the chilly blast of air from the bus's air-con above him. The subtle scent of Adrian lingering on the fabric had him closing his eyes, imagining Adrian's arms around him.

 He tried his hardest not to fall. He even tricked himself into thinking it's just sex and nothing else. Yet here was, clinging to the slight possibility that Adrian would keep his promise to make their relationship right.

Along with the budding joy and hope in his chest, however, guilt swirled in his gut like the raging storm lashing from above. And it was twice as painful compared to when he first agreed to sleep with Adrian. Now, he's on the verge of stealing someone else's boyfriend.

'Can I truly be happy at the expense of someone else's pain?'

Leaning his head on the bus's glass window, Johan's eyes trailed the raindrops trickling down the flat surface. It's funny how his parting time with Adrian resembled the day he last saw Raymond.

Three years ago, the heavens also cried when he said goodbye.

When the bus came to halt, Johan shifted his line of vision. The muddled reflection staring back at him through the tinted glass sent a burning sensation within him. Salty tears stung his eyes, and it repulsed Johan to see the person he had become.

'How can you inflict to someone the same pain you've experienced before? Horrible. You're a horrible person.'

"I should delete the picture," Johan mumbled, wiping the tears that escaped. Before he could reopen the application, however, a tap on the shoulder made him looked up, meeting kind droopy eyes. He removed his earphones. "Can I help you?" 

"Sorry to interrupt. Is this seat taken?" The guy asked with a smooth voice. He smiled and motioned to the seat beside Johan, occupied by his traveling bag.

Blinking the tears, Johan shook his head whilst using his wrist to rub the wetness on his cheeks. "No. No one. Sorry. I'll just put it up real quick." He slipped the phone on the jacket's pocket, grabbed the bag, and stood.

"Let me help."

"It's alright. I can manage—" Johan froze when they both grab the same spot. Playing it cool, Johan didn't remove his hand and let the guy withdrew his hand instead. 

It's his bag, okay? No need to fret. 

Johan heaved the bag to the overhead luggage rack with a grunt, ignoring the slight brush of the guy's chest on his shoulder blade. He chanced a subtle sideway-glance.

Tall. As tall as Adrian. With dark auburn hair. Cute.

Johan cleared his throat to stop himself from checking the guy out and moved back to his seat beside the window. 

His seatmate was good-looking, no doubt. But not the type he would want to hook up with. The guy looked too kind-hearted for his own taste. Or maybe he'd just fallen too deep for Adrian to appreciate others like how he used to.

"Here." 

Johan stared at the green handkerchief that was thrust in front of him. He turned to the angelic face smiling back at him and flickered down to his printed white T-shirt that read: I'm Loyal, But Not Faithful. Ask Me The Difference.

Trying not to be cheeky, Johan gave a polite smile and gently pushed the hand away. "No. I'm okay. Thanks."

"Owwkeeyy..." The guy retracted his hand and broke their awkward eye contact. His gaze moved upwards and he stood from the chair to flick the air-con lid that was blasting gust of chilly air to his seat. He smiled, sheepish. "So cold! I feel like I'll transform into a penguin before I get back to Manila."

Johan raised a closed fist to his mouth and cleared his throat to mask the smile forming on his lips. Grabbing his bottle of ice tea, he took a sip and watched the guy fumbled on his phone at the corner of his eyes.

"Whoa! Girl, that's one hell of a boob. Are you a dinosaur?"

Ice tea sprayed on the glass window as Johan wheezed. He covered his mouth, unsure whether he should laugh, breathe, or get a fucking towel to wipe that disgusting liquid trickling between his fingers.

Once again, his seatmate handed the handkerchief to him. Teeth gnawing his lower lip, Mr. Penguin tried not to laugh himself as he insisted Johan to take the piece of fabric.

"I-it's okay. I have my own." Johan reached for his back pocket, and he found none. Shit. It's inside his bag. Having no choice but to accept, Johan took the hanky before Mr. Penguin changed his mind. He sent him a soft glare. "You did that on purpose, didn't you?"

Mr. Penguin raised both hands, blinking his innocent verdant eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just watching anime here. And then this girl with huge boobs came jiggling into the screen."

"So you called her a dinosaur?"

"Dinosaurs are huge," he mumbled, looking away.

What with this misplaced logic? "Dinosaurs don't have boobs."

"Since when? I'm not informed."

"You're crazy." Johan gave a snort and they shared a laugh at their silliness.

"I'm Jerome," Mr. Penguin introduced.

 Johan put the handkerchief on his lap to grab isopropyl alcohol from his crossbody bag before he shook the awaiting hand. "I'm Jo—" He paused, shaking his head. "Hansen. I'm Hansen."

"Oh, like the one in storybooks?" Jerome asked, jokingly.

"That's Hansel. Stop being a dork," Johan said. He eyed the printed words on Jerome's T-shirt, his curiosity urging him to ask. "So what's the difference?"

Jerome's eyebrows rose before he looked down at his shirt and smiled. He shifted on his seat to face him fully. "The difference is..."