Naruto: The Dovah-nin

Waking up on a road with burning buildings and trees around you, where people are running towards a giant fox with RED eyes should clue in any fool into reality.

I'm a self-insert.

Not that I mind, I assure you.

It has always been my dream to be in this situation.

But it has never been my dream to die. It is not really nice, you see. I have already experienced death once. Or maybe an infinite times...who knows?

Because I did not wish to die, I quickly got up from the road and walked in the opposite direction to the big fox with nine tails that could kill me with a lazy swipe.

Minato can take care of the fox.

It's not my job.

I just walked, the epitome of calmness and patience. Not in the slightest, affected by the people running around me like headless chicken.

If it were not for my rational thinking, then I might have been one of those that perished that day.

I reached a spot which seemed safe and just curled up there. The sheer pressure from the demon fox made me want to just kill myself and be done with it. I was so tempted.

But once again, my mind worked overtime to keep me focused on survival.

Survival was necessary for survival.

Survival was more important than anything else for now.

Just then I heard a roar that sent a shockwave through the entire village.

And it all stopped. The pressure died out quickly.

It felt peaceful. It was all but peaceful for a blonde baby right now. I did not care for such trivial things. Yes, even the life of the main character was trivial in the face of my continued existence.

I woke up when the harsh rays of the sun hit my face. I recognized the distinct odor of a hospital. The memories of what transpired the previous time hit me like a truck and made me wake up with a jolt.

I couldn't say that I was not pleased at surviving that ordeal.

The ninja-nurse, because let's be honest, that is exactly what she was, came to me when she 'felt' me waking and told me that I was free to leave.

I complied with her request to get out.

I did not know where to go.

I wanted information right now.

I would have to rely on something more than just walking to the Hokage's tower to ask them if they knew where I lived.

That would be an excellent way to get yourself arrested and sent to the Torture & Interrogation Department.

I don't want to be tortured, thank you very much.

But where do I stay?

I realized that many people died and even more would have been traumatized by the Kyuubi's attack.

It would be a perfect cover for my sudden 'amnesia'

'You are trying to fool trained ninja' a very dark part of my mind supplied helpfully.

'But you actually can't remember anything, so you are not lying' another part of my mind egged me on.

I was not sure which one was right and which one was wrong.

Darn! I wish I had that fruit from Eden.

Stupid Eve and her stupid husband.

'Well, nothing ventured nothing gained.'

I walked toward the Hokage Tower. It was quite close to the hospital, really. Or was it clinic?

It did not matter to me.

"Excuse me." I said as I motioned for the ninja in front of the Academy's gate to notice me.

"Yes?" he asked, not unkindly.

"Ummm, may I meet know where I can find out information about the people that...passed away?"

He looked at me with profound sadness that warmed my heart.

"Can you give me names?"

"I-I'm sorry. I can't remember my own name."

He looked alarmed and even slightly suspicious. As would any ninja worth a ryo. Some random person asking about the details of the people that died would be 'slightly suspicious'.

"Really?"

"umm..yeah." I replied with the barest hint of apprehension and a healthy amount of fear.

That guy could probably kill me before I can blink.

I was right in being afraid because the man knocked me out with a tap.