Chapter 46: {Loss and Recovery}

(Dowoon's Perspective)

My gramps passed in his sleep at the prime age of 96 on July 20th...

It hurts so much... so, so much that he'd leave me before I even finish high school.

He was getting worse and worse and worse, I was terrified that he'd die from a seizure or that he'd die suffering, but he passed of old age instead, the autopsy confirmed that it wasn't the seizures that killed him. I'm happy he went out peacefully though, if he suffered, I'd feel like a failure of a grandson, and as a caregiver, even if it wasn't my fault, I'd still feel like a failure.

Thankfully, his life insurance plan covers everything, he wished to be cremated so I did that. He didn't want an official funeral, he didn't want to give me that burden. I'm the only real family he had left. He wanted me and his remaining friends and such to meet together and remember his life and reminisce, he didn't want us to rent out a funeral home when he didn't want to be buried, this is what he wanted me to do.

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Right now is when he wants us to remember his life. It's all he wanted. There's not many people here at my house though, just me, my close friends that support me, Kiara, she's now my girlfriend, our neighbors, the nurse that would come by sometimes, and a couple of his friends that were still alive.

"You know son, your great grandpa was a fighter, he hung on for a long time. He was my drinking buddy until we quit, then we drank soda together, it wasn't the same, but that's what we did until he got bedridden." his friend Kao-jun said.

"I know." I reply.

After I talk to his friend, my friends came up to me.

They embrace me, and I just cry.

"We're there for you. Call me whenever, if you need to talk or whatever, I'll be there for you bro." Hyun said.

"Thank you man, I probably will." I reply.

Jugyeong, Suho, Sangah, and one of the guys on my gaming squad all come up to me and say similar things to what Hyun said and sending their condolences as well.

Kiara came a little late because of traffic.

"Dodo (her pet name for me), come here!" Kiara got close to gramps too. We embrace very tightly, I can feel her love from this embrace.

"Kiki (my pet name for her) I miss him! I miss gramps!" I say while crying.

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(Hyun's perspective)

While Dowoon is hugging Kiara, he trembles and shakes more than when he did with me. Kiara did get closer to Dowoon's great grandpa than I did, so it makes all the sense in the world that Dowoon seeks the same misery as him since he was his great gramps' only living family, to at least be comforted that he wasn't the only person in the world to lose a part of his life.

{Loss, an emotion that is extremely hard to understand unless you go through it. Can't relate, my only emotions are disappointment, cringe, and slight impression.}

I hate my system sometimes.

{Wait, wasn't Dowoon's grandpa rich? Doesn't he get a huge inheritance? At least he's well off now. Wouldn't it be a net benefit?}

He's gone man, the only loss DPHM has felt is with me falling off the wagon on the diet passive mission.

{Hey! I've lost- eh you're right. Hoodrat.}

(Back to Dowoon)

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The next day, everything kicks in for the worse. Cleaning up is the best thing I can do...

Gramps' Woo, he loved that thing so much, he played so many games on that thing and spent at least half of his day playing that thing. I am his great grandson after all huh.

His chair, it's very expensive, it's a recliner too. I should dry clean that.

This TV is on it's last legs too, should probably dump it and turn this room into whatever. No one comes over except Kiara and Hyun and Jugyeong and Suho, even then, bar Kiara, they come sparingly.

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After about an hour of cleaning, Kiara gets here.

"Hey Dodo, you okay bae?" she asks me.

"Yeah Kiki, just reminiscing, cleaning, normal stuff. I have no biological family left, which sucks."

"You don't need that anymore, you have me, your friends, you even have fun with my little brother! It's nice to have family, but remember, family doesn't need to be blood Dodo. Hell, my stepmom is like the mom I never had. I call her mom. You just need time to heal."

"I know... I think because I've been his caregiver all this time that it makes it worse."

"I understand. What can we do right now to make you feel better, or what can I do?"

"Did your dad teach you how to make that Jambalaya that he made that time you introduced me to him?"

"Yeah. Want me to make it for you? It won't be as good as his, but I got the gist of it down."

"Yes..."

"I need to practice it so this is good for me too!"

"Thank you Kiki."

"No problem bae."