Pursuing a goal

The world is insane. That was something I already knew. I also knew everything was just a grind and in the grand scheme of things nothing mattered. Even if I were to blow up a city somewhere the effect won't be felt. People will mourn for years and the generations of those living close by will be affected.

But that does nothing to the globe. All our wars and fighting will not stop the rotation of our planet. It won't effect our sun which would exist for billions of years. It certainly will not effect the universe that has existed for tens of billions of years. And all of this is just an estimate since the Big Bang. And during all of this the average human lifespan is just about 70-75 years.

You would expect that those who learn of all of this would not care to live anymore but that is not the case. Most people when they learn of such numbers they are amazed for a few seconds. They go, "Wow, I never knew about how insignificant my problems are." . Then they go on with their lives and forget about it.

I don't believe it's their fault. All of it is within our biology to try to survive with food, find a mate, procreate and take after our young. We are primates and this is present in every single one of us. All of the other stuff we do is just to pass time until our eventual demise.

Human beings are not meant to ponder about the grand scheme of things for long. Thankfully there are a few of us who break such molds. Philosophers and thinkers who start with the daily life and then slowly work their way up to the vast multiverse. Poets who constantly write songs about the vast number of stars and the everexpanding space.

I understood rather quickly at a very young age. They called me a genius but I knew that it wasn't my intelligence that helped me but my maturity. I always ran after lofty goals but my true adventure started when I learned of the universe. The fact that even if I were to rule the entire world, I would change little in the Grand scheme of things ate into me.

I wanted more out of life than just living and dying. We make such a big deal out of life and death but I feel that there is no concept more scarier and vast than the space outside. The void that contains nothing that stretches everywhere and nowhere. I wanted to stay with it forever but I knew that achieving it was near impossible.

Being 20 at that time I had only a few decades before death comes for me so I decided the first step of my plan. To transfer my mind into that of a machine. I spent the next 35 years of my life on this singular goal and managed to succeed.

I connected dozens of supercomputer running various simulations an experiments to better understand the universe. The years ticked by and soon things started to look bleak for me. My progress in the research was very little and the government of nations had found out about me.

The invention of transferring a person into a digital area was a failure when I faked my death as a poorly gone experiment. My research was scrapped and parts of it was used in other areas. I had used this to siphon of money from various banks and managed to covertly use the supercomputers from various regions.

Unfortunately someone might have caught on to my usage of them and followed into my main storage area. Being digital I had already prepared my back up to other computers but there was once small problem. They had already tracked down two of my only back ups.

I at the time did not have time to make more since you need to build a specific computer for the brain. It needed to imitate the real one and only then could you improve it without any side-effects. They must have used my old records to figure out the places I had visited.

Soon they had found me in my main brain room and were moving to extract all my data. Unfortunately for them I activated my last plan. Code red. All my research and a tiny bit of my processing capabilities sent to a remote server belonging to a person who had the closest drive to pursue the secrets of the universe.

My job done I allowed the government to download only the research while I scraped of everything else from my system. Hopefully someone will try to figure out the ultimate answer. As I felt the systems shutting down for the first time in 137 years, I could say without a doubt that I was content.