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Miserable Wanderer

A massive nerd dies and gets reincarnated, his excitement gets the best of him. The first words he hear are "Get to work slaves!" When he looks around and sees grotesque figures mining with oversized pickaxes his stomach drops to his colon. [Multiverse fanfic, starting in Warframe.] "Status." [Status displaying] Race: Grineer[100%] Level: 0 Status points Available: 0 Stats: Vitality: 1 Strength: 1 Agility: 1 Intellect: .3 Mastery Rank: 0 [Inventory] Strength Quote. "USELESS DISGUSTING MAGGOT FILTHY WORM WHY ARE YOU BREATHING MY AIR !"-Councilor Vay Hek The cosmos weeps at this mans fortune. A distant "FUCK MY LIFE" can be heard Cover not mine THERE WILL BE MULTIVERSE TRAVEL JUST NOT IN THE TRADITIONAL SENSE.

SoupHarbinger · Video Games
Not enough ratings
85 Chs

TG: 6 : MY FACE!!

Waking up to the sound of a jingling alarm I sit up from my flat bed and rub my eyes letting out a great yawn as I do so.

I slip out of bed and open my fridge taking out a half bottle of iced coffee.

I swig it down and flip a shirt and pants on, then I grab the remote and click the TV on.

The daily news is a must in Tokyo so much shit goes on and I need to know all about it.

A woman in business attire with blonde short hair sits next to an older man with silver hair and a thick mustache who periodically sips his mug.

The woman waves to the camera and smiles.

"Hello! Welcome to Today in Tokyo!"

She puts her hand down and the camera pans slowly to the man and he shuffles some papers.

"Multiple ghoul attacks have occured in the past week but the worst has been the ballerinas attack in broad daylight, 7 agents were killed but the ballerina was eventually subdued. On a better note the ghoul known as the glutton has been incarcerated. Now to Jin for the weather."

The camera pans away and fades to black for a moment before a larger man with a yellow and black striped suit walks onto the shot.

Then he proceeds to announce the weather and all of that jazz.

It is gonna be cold again so I'm gonna need a coat or jacket..

Japan gets fucking cold..

I enter the small bathroom and begin the process of taking a shower.

[1 shower later]

..

Ah that hit the spot..

I close the shower curtain and dress in my CCG clothing and wipe my hair with a towel to get it nice and fuzzy.

I open the medicine cabinet and grab my toothpaste.

"AH FUCK!'

I reach my hands around and put my fists up

But no one is there.

I'm not crazy but there was a guy in my mirror.

I creep the cabinet open slowly and the sight of a stranger greets me.

What da fuck...

My face..

Its normal again. What da hell.

[!!]

I should check my system notifications I had that shit turned off for a while now cus I wanted to enjoy my life normally for a bit.

[Ghoul DNA absorbed!]

[Synthesized 'Rize' DNA]

Glugh.

Puke creeps up my throat.

That btiches mouth spit went inside of me..

[Race Grineer (22%) Ghoul (78%)]

How much did that psycho slobber in my mouth.

[3000 GRAMS!]

This time I really puked. Chunks of bean bun splatter on my sink.

After gasping for a second I turn the sink on and rinse my mouth off and control my breathing.

I cant believe it.. That much fluid in my body from her.

Uhhh.

Fucking hell.

I glance at the mirror again.

Damn I look normal again.

My face is like my old one, but more mature and chiseled. My hair is more developed, it is an ashy black compared to how dark it used to be.

And all of the scarring is gone from the ghoul regen factor.

This is..

FUCKING AMAZING!!!

I WILL NO LONGER BE BITCHLESS I WILL NO LONGER BE REJECTED, IGNORED AND ROASTED FOR LOOKING LIKE A THUMB!

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOO!!

Holy shit.

My life is finally taking a good fucking turn!

I admire my normal human looking face for a good 4 minutes.

Glorious..

Welp time to go to work.

Wait..

How am I going to explain this?

Uh..

Just found out when we get there.

I put my suit jacket on and grab the suitcase holding Black Rose and begin my unperilous trek to the CCG HQ.

[1.5 hours later]

Well here we are again. Time to head inside and talk to that nice reception lady.

I walk up and knock on the glass. She looks up at me as if I'm a stranger.

"Um. What are you here for?"

She asks, her lips trembling a bit, she adjusts her hair lightly.

"I am a recently consigned junior agent."

"OH! What was your name again?"

"Sebastian."

"Oh what a unique name. It's good to have you on the force."

Oh my god.

This bitch doesnt remember who I am.

Was I that lowly? Was I that ugly?

Damn.

That hurts.

I mean..

Wow.

"Ok. Mr I have your assigned first class investigator, he is a senior within his ranks so I believe you 2 should have a good experience working together!"

She hands me a card like the one I already had but this one has a green platinum band on the top.

Junior investigator huh.

'Assigned first class investigator: Kureo Mado.'

What..

That is unexpected.

Did Amon die or get promoted I wonder?

"Oh Mr Sebastian... He should be here shortly. While you wait could I uh... Get your number?"

Her face turns a light pink as she holds a pen to me.

"No.."

HAHAHAHHA THATS WHAT YOU GET YOU STUPID BITCH GRAHAHAH!

She frowns and looks at me ashamed of herself.

"Um. Ok."

She slides the window shut dejectedly.

I approach a nice bench and sit down, thumbing my suitcase and white jacket.

"Hello."

A warm breath hits me.

I shoot back in my seat and see Mado lurking over me.

This fucking snake snuck up on my easily! I guess he isnt a first class investigator for nothing.

"Hmmm.. Your face.."

He sniffs lightly.

"That smell.. keke. Your little secret is safe with me foreigner."

This motherfucker knows im a hybrid ghoul already what da fuck!

I stand up and bow to him, a simple show of respect to start off on the right foot.

"Your last partner-"

He cuts me off.

"Promoted.. Took down an upper A class ghoul while I was chasing another. I knew he would outpace me with that whily determination of his."

Mado glances at my suitcase and grins.

"Is she treating you well?"

I nod in response, too afraid to say anything.

"You will certainly need it hehe."

He begins walking away silently I suppose I have to follow him.

We exit the building and begin walking, clearly with intent to go somewhere.

"Where are we headed?"

"A man was found half eaten, his head gone completely."

Ok then..

Way to set the mood you prick.

---

5 minutes of walking later and we cut into an alleyway.

"Here the poor bastard is. Let me catch you up."

Mado turns from the corpse of the man.

"This ghoul specifically targets married or coupled men, I'm not sure why yet but I know only one way to draw them out."

"Are you suggesting using someone as bait.."

"Not someone.. You heheh."

"I dont have a girlfriend."

Mado grins.

"Who said you need a girlfriend. Just find a random woman to use and I will ambush the girl. In 2 days time bring a woman to this ward around dark and we will take this monster down ."

Jesus christ this seems cliche and coincidental. What da hell boy.

I could just find a prostitute to permanently scar hahaha.

Wait

HAHAHAHAHHAA

Receptionist lady I hope you like Ghould organs for dinner HAHAHA

That stupid bitch gon' get wutch' she derved brotha heheheh!

Mado claps some gloves on.

"You can leave now. I have it from here."

Mado waves me off.

I turn the corner and a short man with long black hair gulps and looks at me.

It's an AA guy.

I glance at him and walk past him on my way back home.

--

A couple snowflakes begin falling and I turn the corner only to see a singular shop still open.

'Anteiku.'

I mean it wouldn't hurt to go in right?

I am itching for coffee.

The door dings as I walk in.

"Welcome!"

A young woman with purple/black hair greets me as she cleans a plate off.

I sit down and pop my fingers after I take my black gloves off.

"What would you like sir?"

She asks me, still smiling brightly.

"Just a cup of dark coffee please."

"Sure Sebastian."

Damn.

She remembers me but the reception lady didn't?!?!!

Now I really want that revenge..

"Oh uh. Touka was it? Maybe just a little bit of sugar."

"Sure!"

She walls behind the counter and begins working.

Old man Yoshimura emerges from the cleaning supplies closet and looks at me.

"You really did become an investigator huh. Good for you, I hope that is bears you fruit in the future as good as Anteiku has for me."

He smiles and walks to the counter and carefully watches Touka make the coffee.

"So what are you up to ?"

Yoshimura asks me as he keeps watching Touka.

"Oh. Apparently a ghoul is targeting men with a wife of girlfriend so I have to bait them out with a girl."

"That sound intriguing. What woman?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"Touka could help."

A loud clang sounds out and the woman turns and glares daggers into the old man.

"No way.. Helping doves? That's insane."

"Ah. I thought you liked Mr Sebastian."

"NO THATS NOT WHAT I SAID!"

She throws a coffee filter at the old man and he simply chuckles as it bounces off of him.

"I was jesting."

Touka walks to me and plants a cup of coffee firmly in front of me.

"Here you bastard."

Hah.

I pick the cup up and drink it all in one fell gulp.

"Pig."

Touka says as she begins sweeping up a broken plate.

"Wheres uh.. what's his name, the black haired one?"

"Kaneki. He is tutoring."

Yoshimura answers me, now standing up and helping wipe the counters down.

"Well its it time to close. Have a good rest of your night sir and I wish you luck with that ghoul."

Man. I am afraid of talking to females..

"Goodnight."

I exit the shop and head home..

[AN]

Your stones or your life!

[MC pic]