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Miserable Wanderer

A massive nerd dies and gets reincarnated, his excitement gets the best of him. The first words he hear are "Get to work slaves!" When he looks around and sees grotesque figures mining with oversized pickaxes his stomach drops to his colon. [Multiverse fanfic, starting in Warframe.] "Status." [Status displaying] Race: Grineer[100%] Level: 0 Status points Available: 0 Stats: Vitality: 1 Strength: 1 Agility: 1 Intellect: .3 Mastery Rank: 0 [Inventory] Strength Quote. "USELESS DISGUSTING MAGGOT FILTHY WORM WHY ARE YOU BREATHING MY AIR !"-Councilor Vay Hek The cosmos weeps at this mans fortune. A distant "FUCK MY LIFE" can be heard Cover not mine THERE WILL BE MULTIVERSE TRAVEL JUST NOT IN THE TRADITIONAL SENSE.

SoupHarbinger · Video Games
Not enough ratings
85 Chs

TG: 5 : All MINE!

Egh.

What the-

What the hell where am I?

Darkness crawls all around me and the buzzing of flies permeates the room like a ticking clock, every waking second drumming with the buzzes.

Where the fuck am I?

This isnt my apartment.

A large crunch sounds out from the corner of the room.

I squint to to try and see. but nothing is there.

I try to stand up and then it hits me.

All my clothes except for my boxers are gone. My arms and legs are strapped to a chair made of steel that I cant budge.

No.

No. Please dont be Jason please dont be Jason please dont be Jason!

Shit fucking shit.

I burst my kagune out and begin thrashing them around but there is nothing to hit.

Jesus christ!

I JUST WANTED A VACATION PLEASE!

A humming comes from beyond the dark expanse, it goes along melodically, to a little diddy.

A loud clanking comes from behind me and light shines onto the back of my head. From the reflection of the light on the wall I see the shadow of a person standing silently.

The tapping of their walking grows closer and I clutch my cheeks and hope it's not Jason.

"My sweet boy. It seems I caught you in my web aha!"

NO.

NO NO NO!

This crazy bitch!

Rize stands before me with a small bowl

"Its supper time Sebastian-San hee hee."

"You crazy bitch I am going to kill you if I get out of this."

"Oh ho. I will have you enslaved by the time you could ever leave her my special boy."

She holds a wooden spoon out to me, on it is what looks like oatmeal but I have no idea what it could actually be.

"Open wide."

"Fuck you bitch."

I open my mouth and spit in her face.

She smiles and wipes the spit with her finger and then begins sucking on it while making elicit noises.

"Ha ha. You need to eat to stay strong!"

She jams the spoon in my mouth, I try to struggle but she stronger than me and I can't use any of muscles while strapped down.

It is just oatmeal thank god.

"I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU."

Maybe if I just scream long enough she will piss off.

"You need to eat!"

She mounts me and wraps her legs around me and the chair and holds my mouth open with her kagune and begins feeding me.

I can barely breath

"Huh? Your buddy isn't even getting excited when I do this to you? Wow you must really hate me! I LOVE IT!"

"GED OBB MEE STUBBID BITDTCH!"

I cry out through gurgled breaths.

"Just a bit more little boy!"

She jams the spoon a couple more times and then throws the bowl down.

She stares at me and licks her lips.

Taking her kagune she touches a tail to my face and caresses me.

"This expression of hatred. It is beatiful.."

She hovers it onto my lip and a small pain shoots through my face. Blood begins pouring down my mouth.

"Ah.. It smells so good."

She licks her lips before placing them on mine.

I begin shaking rapidly to try and get her off but she begins sucking on my top lip like a fucking vampire.

Some incel boys in this situation would be ecstatic and would ask me.

"Bro why dont you just fuck her and give her what she wants" To that I say you are a down bad mf and this woman had tried to kill me multiple times.

I rear my head back but she stays locked on.

I channel Qi into my neck muscles and slam my forehead forward. My headbutt sends her flying into the wall where cracks appear.

"Uhh. Sebastian san that was not nice! Fine.. Have a good night."

She stands up and wipes the blood from her mouth. She puts her dress back on and leaves the room and locks the door behind her.

Jesus fuck how am I getting out of this shit.

Oh my god I'm retarded.

[Summon Terracotta warrior]

Zhi crawls out from the ground and stands before me.

"Cut me loose and then I need you to dissapear."

"Ok."

Zhi takes his spear and slowly and quietly saws off the ropes tying me.

And then the ones on my leg.

I stand up and a pile of Terracotta forms at my feet.

I slowly emerge my Kagune and fill my body with Qi.

I slam my body into the wall and the outside night of Tokyo greets me and I begin running like A Kenyan being chased by a lion.

I need to get to the CCG HQ right now its the only place I will be safe.

As I'm bolting for dear life (Pun acquired)

A looming figure walks out of an alley way.

I skid to a stop throwing dust everywhere.

An old man with slicked back gray hair and barely open eyes stares at me. He is in a suit and black dress pants

"Nice meeting you. I was coming to help you but it seems you escaped already. Come on Ken, Touka."

Another 2 figures jump down from the rooftops and stare at me bewildered.

"Wh-wheres your clothes!?"

The girl with bobcut black hair asks me.

"I dont know. I woke up and then Rize tried to diddle me."

"I didn't try to diddle you. I wanted to make you mine!"

Rize comes from behind me her kagune out in full glory and she is oissed off big time. Her face has the enraged veiny look.

"Rize. Stop this nonsense or we will have no choice "

The old man walks infront of me and puts his arms around his back.

Toukas kagune flares out and Kaneki just shakes in fear, his 3 tailed kagune wobbling in fear at it's original master."

"Try to stop me!"

Rize bursts forward but is stopped dead in her tracks. The old man already has her pinned to the floor in the blink of an eye.

"GAH!"

Rize screams and the old man sighs.

"Rize.. I dont want to kill you but I don't know what to do. Targetting and kidnapping a dove like this could ruin my whole sanctum. And for what? Petty lust and greed."

The old man takes hand into a chopping motion and hits her on the neck.

"Take her to the CCG. She needs to be incarcerated. Just like her father."

He picks her body up easily with one hand and throws her to me.

"Oh and have this "

He throws me a sack of clothes.

An Anteiku uniform. I fit it on briskly and hoist Rize up onto my shoulder.

It is time this bitch gets what she deserves.

"One last thing Mr. Sebastian."

Touka approaches me with a wooden box.

I take it from her and open it.

Inside is a red plague doctor mask with etched designs of roses and thorns.

"This is for um. If you ever need to do some after dark activities if you know what I mean."

I close the box.

"Thanks. But I doubt I will ever need it. I know you all have been keeping an eye on me and I thank you but with this crazy girl gone I think I will be fine from now on."

Touka smiles lightly and nods her head.

"Sure. 'Black rose'"

With those closing remarks the Anteiku crew dissapear into the darkness and I begin my trek to CCG HQ.

----

*plop*

Multiple investigators come running as I slam the crazy bitch down onto the floor of the reception area.

"Wait. It is him! The cursed AA guy!"

"Yeah!"

"Out of my way morons."

A man with light grey hair and a beige coat walks to me.

"Mado."

"Sebastian. It seems you caught a little bug."

"More like I found her knocked out and decided to take her into custody."

Mado grins, his eyes telling me he is not eating my bullshit.

"Very well. We will lock her up. But I am writing a letter of recommendation."

Mado slaps his white gloves on and begins poking at Rize

"Um that's not neccessary."

Mados bug eye glances at me

"I know what you are capable of. See it as volunteering and not as a choice."

Shit.

This day just gets worse and worse.

I am going home.

"K whatever."

I exit the building and head back to my apartment.

Well that problem is done now.

And a new problem has begun.

It is just never ending will I ever get a peaceful life?

[No]

[AN]

Remember to donate those kidney stones! I need them to fuel my goblin smuggling ring.

Chapterly song suggestion: Not ready to die - Avenged sevenfold.