Chapter 19

Author's note :

You can support me and read up to 30 chapters ahead on my P@treon, Nar_cisseENG

*

Enji's office was quite big.

There was an electric fireplace, a sitting area in front of it and a stack of books on the coffee table. Oriental looking carpets covered the floor. Green and blue flowers were arranged on both sides of the closed window.

In front of it was the oak desk, on which Enji was filling a stack of files, flipping through them diagonally. Rectangular glasses adorned the tip of his nose.

I opened my mouth to speak. He raised a finger without taking his eyes off his work.

"A minute"

I closed the door behind me and slid onto the couch. My eyes wandered over the pile of books.

Dracula, The Count of Monte Cristo, Lorenzaccio.

Reading was not one of my favorite activities, but I knew my classics. The last book, however, didn't ring a bell at all.

I picked it up and started reading to pass time. The pages were creased and the corners of the cover were folded.

A man depraved to the extreme...

"Do you like it ?"

I looked up at Enji.

He always moved silently.

He sat down in the big chair to my left.

"This is one of my favorite books"

I looked at the leather book in a new light.

I wondered what the story of a man with questionable morals had to offer to my father.

"Can I borrow it ?"

"Of course you can"

I closed the book and placed it on the couch next to me.

I began to rifle through my bag, pulling out the documents.

"How was school today ?"

"We just did stuff like we always do. They want us to practice over the holidays so we don't forget anything.

My fingers closed on the stapled handout.

"Do you want me to hire someone to help you for the next two months ?"

"For the sword and the knife, yes"

And as a second thought, I added :

"Please"

I handed him the pile of sheets Maoki had given me.

"Here. You have to sign this"

He pulled his glasses down over his eyes again. He looked like an old man at his end.

It was hard for me to hide my smile.

"How old are you?

"I will be 34 this year.

Wow, he's young.

He lifted the corner of the first page and read the second.

"Your teacher wants my permission to give you more options..."

I straightened up, proud of what I had accomplished in ten months. Except for the other blonde girl, I had the highest score in our class.

With a few exceptions, the average was around 55. And to think that half of those incompetents were twice my age…

"They want to let you choose a third weapon. Your kenjutsu teachers also want to teach you extracurricular things"

He looked a bit surprised.

The more he read their comments, the more proud I felt.

I had worked hard since the incident.

Initially, fear and anxiety had been my energy source.

I didn't get up at dawn because it was fun: running until my legs gave out, coming home exhausted every day with barely enough time to clear my head before falling asleep…

I wanted to give up more than once, and I was not ashamed to say so. Going from a life of no effort to 300% all at once was the hardest thing I had ever had to do.

I had to fight my own weaknesses, my impulse to procrastinate and "put it off till tomorrow," the laziness that told me I should just lie down on the couch and rest a little, just a little, a little longer.

Sword and Cross had played a lot for me not to give up.

To see other kids - real kids - in situations similar to mine, scared of what might be done to them, practicing tirelessly to survive the next attack on their lives, was like a revelation.

I wasn't special.

Because the Eye had somehow chosen me, and I had been reincarnated as a main character with infinite potential, I had believed that I had something more than the others.

I believed that the problems I had encountered were unique because they were about me.

I believed that no one had ever experienced what I was experiencing, and therefore I was some kind of tragic figure with a dark past.

But those children - the ones we thought were privileged and happy because of the chance of their birth - had shown me that I was just one of many.

For some, like the French girl, it was not their brother who tried to kill them, but their father.

For others, dying would have been a blessing, given what they had survived. There were also those who were never seen again.

And it wasn't even because of who they were as a person. Most of their Quirks weren't even special. The only thing that made them special - that made us special - was that we were the sons of, the cousins of, the nephews of.

We, as individuals cut off from our connections, were worthless.

It was a blow to my ego.

But it also opened my eyes to much more.

The sociopath I shared my blood with was only the first of many to come.

I had to become stronger at all costs.

Because I refused to be at the mercy of others again.

I already knew that many of us would not make it to puberty. Indeed, if someone were to find out what I can do with my chakra, I would vanish overnight without leaving a trace.

But that was just one more reason for me to train harder, longer, and more often.

I was not a murderer. The only animal I had ever seen dead was the steak on my plate.

I didn't enjoy seeing others suffer. I wasn't fond of children, but I didn't take sadistic pleasure in their tears after I'd hit them a little too hard in a duel.

But I knew myself well.

And I also knew that if it came to surviving, I would be willing to sell my soul to the devil.

For there are worse things than death.

"Shoto"

I looked up at Enji. He gave me a long look.

"Yes ?"

My left hand was shaking. I hid it under my thigh.

"You want to be strong. Your determination and discipline are proof enough. But why ?"

I frowned slightly.

"Isn't being strong... an end in itself ?"

By being strong, I could avoid suffering. By being strong, I could avoid being at the mercy of others.

That seemed to be enough reasons.

Enji studied me silently.

"You're a clever boy. But you're still a child"

He signed the sheet of paper and handed it back to me.

"Think about what I told you"

He went back to his desk and waved me out.

*

Rei looked at her watch. An uncontrollable smile played on her lips.

She was wearing a white dress with blue flowers on it and black sandals. A large straw hat decorated with a ribbon sat on her head.

She had nearly knocked over paintings and vases just crossing the corridor from her room to the entrance hall.

The servants ran around her to limit the damage but Rei was oblivious.

"Everybody out, let's go !"

Natsuo grumbled and tugged at his bowtie.

"Stupid picnic..."

Rei loved blue.

She also loved to dress her children like human dolls. Fuyumi was her miniature version, although she had a pink ribbon on her hat, and Natsuo and I had gotten the sailor look: suspenders, shorts, and a straw hat that scratched you to the bone.

Rei watched us appreciatively.

"Shoto, where is your hat ?"

"It got lost"

She didn't look convinced.

"Good thing I asked Emiyo to get you another one in case you lost this one again"

The housekeeper came out of nowhere with a carbon copy of the one that I had lost. For a second, I wondered if she hadn't looked under my bed for it.

I gritted my teeth as I put it on top of my head and forced a smile at Rei who was looking at me with joy.

I'll set it on fire as soon as your back's turned.

The housekeeper opened the door.

"Have a good afternoon Todoroki sama"

Rei smiled brightly.

She led us to the door and put her hand on my shoulder and Natsuo's to stop us.

"Let's wait for our special guest to arrive"

"Aren't we supposed to meet dad at the park?" asked Fuyumi.

Rei whispered like a conspirator:

"We're not waiting for your father"

The comment was a cold shower.

"Who is it ? Who is it ?"

"Oh, I know, you invited my teacher !"

"Nice try Fuyumi, but no"

Natsuo said :

"You invited my soccer coach !"

Rei cocked her head to the side. She looked a little confused by the suggestion.

Fuyumi frowned.

"Why would she invite your old soccer teacher ?"

"Why would she invite your smelly teacher ?"

Fuyumi raised her hands to strangle him and Rei tried to separate them as best she could before things got out of hand.

"Stop fighting! Natsu, no, not the teeth! Fuyumi, if you kick him again, I swear that-"

I walked away from the chaos and took the opportunity to throw my hat into the rose bushes that bordered the house.

A black Mercedes pulled into the driveway.

The two children raised their heads at the same time. Rei was completely disheveled.

The driver hurried to open the back door.

The person got out of the car and looked at the house as if he was seeing it for the first time.

"It's just like it used to be"

Rei let go of the troublemakers and straightened up, running a hand through her hair.

"Welcome home"

Natsuo and Fuyumi were taken completely by surprise. The little girl let go of her brother's hair.

"It's-it's-"

A huge smile split his face in two. His eyes were barely visible.

"Did you miss me ?"

Touya looked around at our little gathering. His eyes fell on me. His smile widened.

My fingers instinctively went to the knife hidden in my pocket.

"I'm happy to be home"

*

Author's note : 

For your information, this story will be divised in three parts or 'volumes'. 

First one, already started, which is called 'Damnation'. Can anyone take a guess at what the next two will be ?

Either way, I've started reading this book, American Gods by Neil Gaiman. I think there is a serie about it. I've only finished chapter 1 but I already love our Shadow dude.

What have you all been reading recently - apart from fanfictions ?

Objectives for the week :

80 power stones = Bonus chapter on sunday

100 power stones = Double release next saturday.

And no, there won't be a bonus chapter sunday because 'I feel like it' this week.

....well, I mean, if I get well structured comments of at least one sentence about what you think of the chapter/the story/the writing, maybe we could have a deal....

See you in the next update !