Sleep

I once had a client named Luca Bianchini.

He was an interesting man.

One who for some reason, thought he had a good sense of humor and good luck with the ladies, despite his ridiculous wealth doing all the work for him.

Luca often had many things to talk about, and he particularly loved discussing fast cars.

He lived for cars, as a former champion in formula racing, the man had driven almost all the best cars in the world. From Dodge Chargers to Ford Mustangs, he loved Porsche, Ferrari, Bugatti and the likes.

Yet after his accident, Mr Bianchini vowed never to step foot in a fast car again. This was even worsened by the PTSD he developed which inevitably led to our paths crossing.

I remember during a particular session, we spoke about his accident from many years ago; an accident that left his hands crippled and ended his life for almost a minute.

Even after miraculously surviving the ordeal, it continued to haunt him.

I had looked Luca in the eyes that day, the calm retired and disgustingly rich old man, and I'd asked him;

What did dying feel like.

He didn't answer immediately, he sat still for nearly the entire session and pondered, when he finally did respond, it was only a word.

"Sleep."

He said.

"It felt like I was falling asleep."

After our session, I remember thinking;

'Will I also feel like I'm sleepy when I die---that would be quite a boring experience.'

Well it wasn't boring, it wasn't boring at all.

Unlike Luca, to me, dying did not feel like sleeping, it was the opposite.

I felt like I was drowning in a bottomless sea of darkness.

Sinking farther and farther beneath...

***

Jaegin loved fishing, it was more than a past time to him, it was a passion that had coursed through his veins for as long as he could remember.

He relished every moment spent by the water's edge, where the world seemed to slow down, as his cares and troubles would momentarily drift away with the gentle ripples on the surface.

Jaegin had a favorite fishing spot along the riverbank, it was secluded, a place where hardly any of the locals ever ventured.

Gnarled aged branches of the forest trees reached out like fingers, scratching at him, but calmly and with the practiced ease of many years, he avoided them, finally emerging from the evergreen thicket with a triumphant smile and the glistening waters of the river rushing before him.

Carefully Jaegin set down his tools and large creel basket. He strolled towards the net he'd laid out a day before, an excited grin perched on his face.

The anticipation of the day's catch caused a stir in the man's chest. His brown furry ears twitched in habit as he tugged at the thick straps of the fishing net, pulling with a practiced level of skill.

The thick nylon mesh strained against his hands, it's laden weight dragging it back into the water, it was a good catch indeed.

Jaegin's stiff face broke into a broad smile as he examined the catch in his nets. His calloused hands worked swiftly and expertly, the fish gleaming in the sunlight. He'd have his fill tonight and tomorrow he'd take whatever was left into town to trade.

It'd been a while since he went to town, now that a good reason presented itself, he could only think of the things he desired to purchase from the bustling markets.

And maybe, meet a certain shop owner as well.

The thought added even more satisfaction to his hard day's work

Then it hit him.

The familiar coppery tang of blood.

The man's senses heightened just as fast as the smell that struck him. He whipped his head about, his eyes searching the length of the riverbank in primal instinct, two small rounded ears sitting atop his hair twitched as they zeroed on the many sounds of the forest.

The smell was unfamiliar to the beastmen and nauseatingly sweet.

His large fangs protruded unwilling and a pang of unsettling hunger twisted in his stomach, pushing a raw need down his throat.

All Jaegin could think about in an instant was sating this hunger by feasting on whatever animal the rich scented blood belonged to. 

With his task becoming a thing of the past, the fishing net submerged in the water, fishes scattering in all angles.

The man's deep brown eyes finally settled on a limp body at the extreme length of the river.

For a moment Jaegin lost all his sense of reason, he could only see himself leaping across the water like rabid animal.

Only one word resounded in his head.

Eat.

Eat.

Eat.

As he neared the body he realized, it was a human.

And even rarer, it was female, one who the smell of her blood forced out his primal instincts unwilling.

Jaegin crouched over her unmoving body, the smell of her blood became stronger. His mouth watered, saliva dripping from the edges of his sharp protruding teeth as he growled.

Wounds were scattered across the female's body and a weapon, seemingly a knife looked to have been lodged right into her chest.

Jaegin only wanted a bite, with her deathly pale skin one would think she was already dead. A single bite wouldn't do any harm.

He leaned closer, coarse brown fur threatening to sprout from his body. 

A completely defenseless and injured human female, what an incredible catch indeed.

His most primitive side of his nature overwhelmed him.

One bite, just one.

A whimper.

Jaegin stilled himself when he heard it, he clenched his fists, turning away from the woman with all his strength, forcing his entire body into rigid submission for the first time in many decades.

Quiet strange sounds escaped the female's lips, followed by weak sobs. Her eyes remained shut but it was easy to tell she was hurting.

He'd lost control of himself, and had nearly...on such a small thing...a human.

It was disgusting, he felt repulsed by his own self as he stood and moved away from her unconscious body.

The tantalizing scent of her blood didn't clear out, but now he had his sanity again and wouldn't hurt her, he couldn't even if he wanted to, the human was dying already.

Controlling his ragged breath, Jaegin stood and observed her wounds better, there were several injuries on the female, and the knife seemed to be the absolute worst, it was a wonder how she hadn't stopped breathing.

He thought, his ears picking up the strained but steady thump of her heart.

She could still survive, he pondered more over it, engaging in a heated argument with his conscience.

'She would die anyways, at least I didn't kill her.'

'Human women are rare, don't let her die.'

'How is any of that my business? This female is trouble, I can smell it already.'

'You just don't want to help, you're such a terrible beastman.'

'Of course I don't want to help, even if I do, how am I going to hide that irritating scent? I almost devoured her just now, who's to say she won't end up being a nights meal another day.'

'You have more control than that and you know it.'

'The female is dressed like a foreigner, that is worse.'

'She is dying.'

'She is trouble.'

His head hadn't felt this hot in over eight years. A glance back at his fish net revealed that it had come undone during his moment of crazed hunger, almost all of the days catch were gone.

"I hate it already."

Came his resigned grumble as he glared down at the unconscious human.

With a resigned sigh, Jaegin made his decision.