I quite enjoyed this at first, yet the more I read the more began to bother me. It’s a good story, but some things just didn’t resonate with me the way they seemed to with the people in the comments. That being said the descriptions and the way things are sometimes described can be quite vivid and descriptive.
One of the main things that bothered me was the way the main character kind of just masters his powers immediately after he discovers them. Not to big of a problem since I enjoyed him testing them and all, but it would have been cooler to really see him practise. And while l love X23 as a potential love interest, since she is pretty underutilized, this portrayal of her leaves much to be desired. I get that she doesn’t really understand modesty, or rather has no concept of it, so having the MC stare at her lustily while she changes isn’t too bad, if a little off putting, but having him just slide into bed with her and wake up with her cuddling into him was extremely weird.
No offence to her, but Laura Kinney is the last person in the world I would ever try to get into bed with after meeting her on the first night, especially after watching her kill some fools or when she didn’t invite me herself. She’s more likely to stab you in your sleep when you try to pull her closer than to snuggle into your embrace.
If you explained why she acted like that it might be ok, but she was raised/trained not knowing anything about caring physical contact. Almost Everyone in her life has either tried to kill her or experimented on her and the few that didn’t died somewhere along the line. Basically having her I instantly trust the MC instead of having him waking up after saving her and her being gone is pretty forced and unlikely. Though I didn’t find it quite cute when she started sniffing him.
But then he took advantage of X23’s naivety and lack of modesty to basically trick her into trying on a dozen different types of lingerie so he could ogle her, all while under the guise of buying clothes. It was actually really sleazy. At first it was kind of funny, but after I thought about it, it just feels wrong.
Next is his extreme reaction to Xavier probing his mind. I get that having your mind intruded on isn’t polite, but the way he describes it is so wrong it’s almost ridiculous. He compares Xavier’s telepathy to a ra*ist when in reality it’s more like one of those comic book collectors that carefully and delicately looks over their collection with gloves and a mask to keep them prestige. He would never go into your mind to watch you masterbate or anything. And it’s not like the MC has anything to really hide in the grand scheme of things. He’s just some petty criminal who happened to be reborn in another world with powers for some reason.
Not only does he flip out and attack Charles in their mind scape he actually posses him and uses the greatest Telepath on the planets own mind against him to forcefully remove everything Charles learned from him in such a way that he couldn’t even fight it. All because Xavier looked into his past. Which I might add is totally normal for him to do considering we learn from Charles’ POV that when he felt the MC ‘awaken’ it felt like looking at death. This only gets weirder as it goes on since apparently the MC has a thing about his mind and therefore won’t be possessing people willynilly.
My main problem with this comes from the fact the MC has NO IDEA how he got into this world, or why he has the powers he does. Honestly he shouldn’t be that bothered by Xavier trying to understand it himself. In fact getting help from someone like Professor X on this matter would be the best thing he could hope for to understand what the hell is happening to him. But instead he basically mentally cripples Xavier in their fight, even if it only lasts a moment.
That’s not all. The author also had Spiderman fail to save someone and even fail to notice they were in danger while swing past, like his spider sense wasn’t active or something (and yea it works like that). Having the persons head ‘popped like a watermelon’ due to debris flying at them because of the Rhino’s rampage was overly brutal as well. A simple cracked skull would have sufficed.
Yet when the MC, with all his immense strength (he can kill a man with a single punch, destroying their organs and bones in the process) tosses the Adamantium Laced Wolverine backwards into the much lighter, less sturdy, Storm she’s totally fine the next moment. Tossing Wolverine into her like he did would have easily broken several of her bones and maybe even killed her if the world was as realistic as the author was going g for. As short as the clawed man is, he weighs like half a ton.
Also the fact he doesn’t care at all about killing, even going back on his word and killing someone he said he wouldn’t, kind of bothers me. Oh, and the way the author describes Danny Phantom’s eyes is wrong.
They aren’t ‘toxic green’. They’re neon green. You could just say glowing green eyes instead, since it’s in the theme song and all... but if you like that term better who am I to judge, it’s your story.
Then again I’m just some random Reviewer and that’s my opinion, so whether you take it as is or choose to ignore it it won’t erase it. Either way this was a decent read that’s worth passing the time with. It also has promise, but it’s just not my cup of tea.
If you read this far thank you and have a nice day.
