I dreamed about Jessica. The days we have always been together, and we go to school together. We also ate lunch at the same time, and the days I took her to the terminal.
I woke up with regret. I hope I treated Jessie well. I wouldn't be like this if I were a sensible boyfriend.
I got up and looked in the mirror.
"I apologize to Jessica."
"I will force the two of us to get back together."
"Jessica will be my priority.."
"Do everything, Xavier. For her."
Those are the words I say while facing myself.
I hurried to my shower so I could see Jessica at school right away. I know she is always early.
I hurriedly walked full of hope to see Jessica. I feel like the two of us will meet. I will not make any more mistakes.
I chased Jessica to accompany her to the school gate. I swallowed hard and dared to greet her.
"Hi, Jessie," I spoke to her.
I only saw a smile on his face. There is not even a "hi."
I followed her walk. "You look good now," I told her.
"You have a nice smile."
I just hope she talks to me. But nothing. She ignored me. She just turned around then just passed me. I turned around and saw Jackie behind me. That's where she went.
They just passed me. I watched both of them away from me. Probably, I was no longer in Jessie's life. It makes me wonder if there is any hope for her to come back to me. There are probably things in the world that, when you let go, they can never be returned to you.
I just walked towards the classroom. As usual, I listened to the lessons, but I will never lose sight of the clock hand.
Can I buy her lunch later? Then I invited her to eat with me. That's right! I will buy her some bread later in recess. I know she loves coconut filled bread with matching coke. I will precede other students. I might run out of bread later.
When class was over, I hurried away to buy some bread that I would give to Jessie. I also saw Jessie, who was also in a hurry to get out. Why is she in such a hurry?
I followed her with my gaze. She went up to the fifth floor but immediately went down. I don't know what she is looking for or wants to go to.
I hurried to line up at the canteen so I could immediately buy the bread. I think this is the chance I can talk to Jessie. I knew she would not refuse the bread, because I know she likes it so much.
While back in the classroom, I could not hide the extra happiness written on my face. I was slightly taken aback when my friend called my name to borrow my notebook to be used later in English. Suddenly my science teacher used to help me pick up the notebooks and give them to section B. I helped my teacher first.
But when I returned, Jessie was not there. I tried to find her in another classroom, but I did not find Jessie. I tried to go around somewhere else to find Jessie. She may hang out somewhere else. I asked her classmates if they had seen Jessie. They said they did not notice it.
I suddenly stopped and thought about going to the gym. I was walking towards the gym when I suddenly saw a fourth-year student and Jessie. I stopped and just stared at the two. This is supposed to be my role in Jessie's life, just watching her from afar. I could see in the distance the joy of that man as he teased Jessie. I could not help but be jealous of him.
I saw a trash can, and in that trash, I saw a cat picking up food. I slowly approached so as not to scare the cat. I put down the bread I had brought and then left. The bad things I did to Jessie keep coming back to me. If I had not done those things, she would not have been my girlfriend until now.
Is it too late?
Is it too late to apologize to Jessie again?
I need to think of what I can do to get Jessie back to me. I believe not everything is hull yet. I can think of a way to have Jessie with me again.
Think positive, Xavier. Just believe.