Time.

The school day ended as I patiently waited for Brandy to call me, she always calls me at 4 pm sharp and when she doesn't, I get worried. It was 3:59 and as soon as it turned 4, I heard her calling my phone. I almost didn't recognize my own ringtone until I realized Vio set it for me, I smiled and picked up Brandy's call.

    "What are you smiling about? Did you finally make up with him?"

    "No Brandy, I'm still very much taking a break from him."

    "Ugh, I don't get it! If you love him so much then try! You didn't even try with him!"

     "Promise me Brandy, I did try."

    "Whatever then, anyways how was staying home?"

I didn't even hear her question how much I was paying attention to a picture of his smile, I took it when he wasn't paying attention and he got all defensive about it.

    "Hey! Hello? Did you even hear me?"

    "Huh? Oh yeah! It was good."

    "Girl seriously, what are you smiling at that is so distracting?"

    "Nothing nothing!"

Brandy looked at me with that annoyed glare, I think she knows I'm smiling at a picture of Vio but I'll completely ignore the fact that I know that.

    "God you're so frustrating when it comes to love, you know that Lilia?"

    "Yeah I know."

    "You love him and he so obviously loves you so what are you waiting for?"

    "I don't know, I just don't think I've healed yet."

    "But you've already healed. You haven't felt like this since that last guy, I know how much he hurt you but don't you think you've moved on already? You have Vio right?"

    "Yeah but I don't wanna hurt him."

Brandy facepalmed and disappointingly got up and went to her kitchen to make food, she always give me love advice when she's cooking but all it does is make me hungry.

    "Lilia, I know you better than anyone and I know that you'd never hurt someone you love."

    "Yeah.. but I still-"

    "I know you're worried he'll hurt you but I saw him today and he looked absolutely heartbroken, he doesn't look like that kinda guy."

    "But you never asked him how he fel-"

    "Cause I didn't need to! He looked hurt, that's enough for me to know that he loved you, deeply."

I kept staring at the photos I took of him to distract myself from my own dislike, he was beautiful, his eyes were like fields of flowers. I missed that lovely hazel color, I knew I made the choice of taking a break from him but if I'm being honest, I regret it. I made the promise, I broke it. Unforgivable.

    "Thanks Brandy, really."

    "You're still looking at photos of him, aren't you?"

I nodded sadly, all she did was get ramen out of the microwave and mixed in the seasoning. As soon as she was done, she turned towards me eating her ramen and tapping her fork at me so I knew that she was gonna say something.

    "Girl, sometimes I think about how you're still relevant in the love universe."

    "What do you mean by that?"

    "You're so concious about hurting others, you're not letting yourself go."

    "Being concious is a good thing, sometimes."

    "Yeah well, now is not the time to be doing about that."

She wasn't wrong, I rarely let myself go. I'm afraid to admit that I never let my guard down for anyone, not even Vio and I did really care about him, I don't wanna get hurt again but I wanna love someone like I did before. Is that too much to ask?

    "Girl stop looking at the photos! I see them in your lens reflection!"

    "Oh sorry! I just got a little distracted."

    "A little? Get outta here girl."

    "Sorry sorry!"

Brandy laughed and put her ramen bowl in the sink for her to wash later, her gaze turned soft as she turned to me. She points her finger at me and spoke.

"I applaud you taking a break from him, I'll give you that but you can't sulk in his image forever."

"Since when did you become a love advice therapist?"

"I'm serious Lilia. You can't say you're gonna take a break then say you miss him."

"I don't know Brandy, I wanna see him again."

"Then go! Seriously, if you love him so much, go."

I heard pats on my window as I perked my attention to my window, Brandy noticed and immediately asked me.

"What is it?"

"He used a ladder!?"

"Girl what are you waiting for? Get him!"

I nodded and gave her a thumbs up, I hung up and saw those eyes again at my bedroom window. Those hazel eyes that were once glossy and full of pain, were puffy and red. I immediately let him in and he climbed in being careful with all of my plants. He brought me into a hug, I could feel the wetness of his cheeks, the red streaks were evident and it was clear he's been crying.

"Lilia, I missed you so much.."

"I did too Vio."

"I saw what happened today and I wanted to see you so bad and help you but I couldn't."

"Why? You should've come see me, I would've preferred that."

"I wish, I wanted to but I couldn't gather the courage."

Was I wrong for wanting him to come and comfort me this morning? Was I wrong for wanting to see him again? Was I wrong for wanting to push him away again?

"Vio, I'm still not ready, I still need this break."

"I know, I know. I understand and I'll leave you be right after, I just wanna know."

"What is it?"

"You still up for a month from now? Me and you?"

"Didn't I break that? You still want that?"

He nodded and I felt my heart light up. I could trust him to not move on, he already said he doesn't want anyone else. Besides, if he moves on, he wasn't worth it anyways. Hopefully, this will make his feelings grow even more.