One Day In.

The next day, I woke up and no one was throwing rocks at my window. I missed the man who'd stand in my driveway and wait for me to come out, I missed the man who'd walk me to school while we talk about silly nothings. When I got to school, Brandy saw me immediately and practically read my entire mood.

"so, did the unthinkable happen? You look unusually sad."

"Unfortunately, yeah. I told him to leave."

"Girl why? You guys were practically in love, I've never seen you that happy

since Zach."

"I was falling too fast, I didn't wanna get hurt."

I could feel my eyes watering, I didn't want to admit that I was hurt. I didn't wanna show that I wasn't ok, I trusted him and he left as easily as he came. Good thing I didn't have those two painful periods today but science was painful yesterday. He didn't speak to me, pretended he never knew me, I'm afraid to admit that I miss him.

"Come here."

"I miss him, Brandy."

"I know, I know you do, you practically trusted him with your whole body."

The tears came running, Brandy held me tight as I told myself that maybe, someday I'd be able to love him the way he wanted, the way that I wanted. The agreement I promised him, that in a month, I was willing to have a transactional relationship with him... That was broken now. At this point, I had the whole cafeteria around me trying to comfort me, I was a good and popular kid but I wasn't mean or had a lot of friends. I had Brandy and... him, I saw multiple people bringing the principal to try and get me out of school so I would miss school, I'm guessing they knew I had a close friendship with Vio.

"Go home and cheer up Lilia."

"Thank you Brandy and Mrs. Almer, I will."

I looked up at the windows, hoping to find him looking out the window and I did. He was looking down right at me, I swore I saw a tear fall, his hazel eyes glossy with a layer of tears. No one noticed him crying yet everyone else noticed me, I almost felt bad but I couldn't dare to look at him cry, I couldn't. I ran home and distracted myself, I tried to convince myself that there'd be better people but he seemed like my match.

I patiently waited for the school day to end so I could facetime Brandy but time moved by so slow, I swore I heard something knock my window. I wanted it to be Vio but no, I know he wouldn't skip school for me, I know him. Instead, it was my friend Ryan, he always skipped school if I wasn't feeling good. He'd always talk about what he and his boyfriend did that weekend since I rarely get to talk to him.

"Hey girl, I saw what happened today, you good?"

"No Ryan, I am not feeling good."

"I'm so sorry girl, there's better people."

"I've been trying to tell myself that Ryan, believe me."

Ryan chuckled at my response but silenced when he realized I didn't find it funny but it did make me smile a bit. I asked to hear one of his little boyfriend stories and he immediately started going off.

"Oh my god! So Esther ordered me an ice coffee right?"

"Yes, you always get a medium with a lemon cake."

"Yeah! So what he did was, he ordered me a large!"

"No way! He got you a large? You never finish a large!"

"Exactly! Then he got me a chocolate cake! It was a tragedy."

"You still ate it didn't you?"

Ryan smirked and nodded, he loved chocolate cake as well, not just lemon. He also likes vanilla cake but he doesn't eat it much, I've known him since middle school and he's always been a rock, doesn't open up much to anyone really. He's really kind though, always willing to help people and skip school for them, like right now. He was nothing like Zach, our old friend that I had the misfortune to date, I hated Zach. That manipulative scum could be dead and I wouldn't care.

"Well, how has school been with you?"

"It's been great girl, I assume that it hasn't been too good for you huh?"

"Yeah, it hasn't been great."

Ryan looked worried for me, he knows I haven't been in love in so long, I'm guessing he's gonna tell me what he always says when something happens to me. Something along the lines of 'Don't worry Ilia, there's always good guys out there that'll treat you even better than he could and you don't need him to be happy.' Yeah, exactly like that.

"Lilia, I'll be honest. Don't give up on him yet, he seems like such a great guy and I know you love him as much as he loves you."

"Eh? You're giving me advice to not give up now?"

"Yes! You deserve this Lilia, you're wonderful and he sees that! He's gonna treat you good girl, you're always seeking the bad ones and you've run into a good one and now you wanna give up on him? This is self sabotage!"

He was right. I was always self sabotaging myself, I'd see a bad opportunity and take it as a good one, to finally better myself when it just ruins me. I've loved many but never get the same back and now that I'm finally getting that, I'm pushing it away. I had many things to do right but I need this break, I need my time.

"Ryan, I just need my time to think it over."

"Well girl you better hurry it up, good guys don't wait around."

"Well then he better learn how to! I need this time to think his request over, if he moves on then I'm not giving him a second chance."

"Yes girl! Self worth."

I knew what kind of girl I was, I was the kind to not give people second chances if they hurt me, I didn't need that in my life because they weren't worth my time.

"I'll admit through Ryan, I don't know if I do want that relationship."

"That's why you're taking this time to think things over, you need this right now Lilia, especially after Zach."

"Thank you Ryan really, you're an incredible friend."

"Of course girl."

I knew I could rely on Ryan, he left for the rest of the school day since he had an exam last period and he didn't wanna miss out on it. I waved him goodbye and he ran off, I'm so ready for the school day to be over.