webnovel

Inside the life of a billionaire teen

Author: ZoeTinnah
Teen
Completed · 102.2K Views
  • 42 Chs
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  • 4.5
    18 ratings
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Synopsis

Give this book a try, don't judge it by the first chapter or the second one, it keeps on getting interesting chapter to chapter . Her existence was like a bone stuck in the neck . Nothing was good about her life, only bad memories filled with regret and anger . No one knew her pain apart from herself. Her life seemed good to viewers but only herself knew how messy it was. Heaven's only happiness was spending money like water , changing boyfriends like clothes, fighting and causing troubles.

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Chapter 1Who am I?

Slowly I opened my eyes, I looked around and found myself in a spacious room. Next to the door stood a man and woman. Observing them in shock, I blurted loudly "Who are you?"

The lady had a blue-green bob cut that framed her face and wore a business outfit. The man, in business attire as well, had short black hair and wore a pair of silver-framed glasses. After taking a short glance at my confused face they resumed their previous char and completely ignored me.

"Wait, are they kidding me? Completely ignoring me?"

"What's this place?"

"How did I get here?"

"Who are these people?"

"Why am I here?"

"Why do they look worried?"

"What am I doing at this old and weird place?"

I tried to lift my head but couldn't move any inch of it.

"Who are you?" I yelled but my voice was low from what I had imagined

"Woo... Why?" It hurts as I put my right hand on my head.

"Why does it hurt? What happened to me? Who are you guys?" I thought inwardly because yelling wasn't helping.

I wanted to scream at them so badly but my voice did the opposite. "It betrayed me."

"Ahhhhh ..... I yelled but instead, I was only hurting myself because none of them seemed to be bothered by my screaming.

"Didn't they hear me?"

I cried out loud hoping to attract their attention but it was the opposite.

The lady and the man from earlier were looking at me in disbelief as if I was some kind of a monster from these freaking horror movies.

Until a girl around my age entered the room.

It wasn't that hard for me to notice her Hazelnut eyes. Who wouldn't notice them according to the way she opened her eyes wide as she saw me struggling to get up?

"Overseer! Are you okay ?" asked the same girl with Hazelnut eyes dressed in casual attire.

"Maid outfits"

"Who are you?" I calmly asked since screaming wasn't helping me but rather hurting me

"Am Hazel Fordham, your butler." the girl introduced herself

"Hazel! Just like your eyes! I commented before asking who I am.. this time I used a calm voice since screaming wasn't helping me at all."

"Where is this place?" I asked

"We are in the hospital." replied the young lady.

"Hospital! What am I doing here and who am I?" I impatiently asked.

"You don't remember anything about what happened to you?" curiously asked the young lady.

"I guess no. Are those, my parents?" I asked looking at the two figures from earlier.

"No, Madam and boss were here but left and promised to come back," she said holding my hand and continuing "That's Lady Axel and Mr. Benjamin your bodyguards."

Doctor, the doctor shouted at the lady with blue-green hair as she ran outside of the ward

She's awake! My Overseer was awake and came to check on her as she dragged the doctor inside.

"What the hell is wrong with me I can't know who am I?" What happened to me ! " asked no one in particular.

The doctor used the medical light to check on my vision and did some checkups before he turned to them." Am afraid! She can't," the doctor posses and continued She has lost her memories and cannot remember anything

"What? lost my memories how can this happen !" I yelled at the doctor as he walked out without even looking at me.

"How about my memories? What about my life!!"

Get out all of you I screamed while struggling to get up from the bed but couldn't feel my legs or my hands.

I asked the doctor to do everything he could at that moment to bring back my memories but the man had already left. I didn't even scream for more minutes before everything around me turned dark.

As I woke up, my eyes ran straight at the young lady from earlier sitting next to me, holding my hand.

"Overseer! you are awake ?" she calmly said with a smile on her face.

"You don't remember anything, even your name ?" she asked in a loud voice

"Shhhhh" I placed my index finger on her mouth, be quiet please, and tell me My name and everything you know about me and my family.

"Heaven Woods"

"From the W group," Hazel replied in a sad Voice.

"Why the emotionless tone!" I asked.

"Sixteen years old" she added without looking at me even for once

'What? Did she just ask me that? Heaven was known as the rich kid with no manners and taste, spending money like water, short-tempered, and changing boyfriends like clothes" A new week a new boyfriend" was one of her principles. Almost dated half the boys at Marco High School.' Hazel thought inwardly before looking at Heaven.

"What? don't look at me with those eyes filled with sympathy, am okay just need to know more about myself."

"Am----- am afraid I can't tell you everything," Hazel said.

"Why? What happened to me? How long have I been here?" I asked with a lot of curiosity

"Three months"

" You were in an accident with your boyfriend," Hazel said avoiding eye contact.

"Did I just mention his boyfriend at this time? Am dead meat if Madam finds out about it." thought Hazel

"Where is he I want to see him right now?"

"Him" as she scratched the back of her head.

"Where is he ?" I impatiently thundered.

"We shall talk about it once you are discharged from the hospital." interrupted The lady with blue-green hair as she signaled Hazel to leave.

[A|N: I don't own the book cover it was designed by Rizzeditions from Instagram but I own the characters ]

Author POV

Life has its meaning and we all live because of various reasons. Everyone is afraid of death.

Each of us has our destiny. Some are meant to be loved while others are to be hurt not all of us have to be happy.

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sky_maiden · Teen
4.7
131 Chs

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Winzentwinni
WinzentwinniLv15

Dear Zoe, Mika_Me asked me for a favor so here I am, giving you a honest review. I hope it helps :) My impression after the first chapter: The plot seems common for reincarnation/transmigration novels. If this is the case is still unknown. For now the MC only has amnesia. Your writing has some room for improvement. The grammar isn't perfect and the used tense is inconsistent. (I tried to point it out with two comments.) Maybe it would help to do some research on the times jused for writing (I am no expert as well). Then choose one and stick to it consistently for the whole story. Make this a point to check when proofreading your book as it can be hard to be consistent with it at the beginning when being immersed in writing. You tend to repeat the same words. Try to use synonyms instead. For example look at the first few sentences of chapter one: female figure/male figure. Better would be just male/female or man/woman, alternative you could say female figure and just male/man, just don't repeat figure. You have this problem with several words like yelled (alternatives: screamed, shouted etc). If you notice something like this but don't know other words, just Google for synonyms of that word. The internet is a great helper ;) Of course it's not always possible to avoid using the same word twice in a short time (like tea and tea bag or she/he etc - here try using alternative like the girl/woman/man/patient etc) but you should still try to reduce same words in the same frame. Besides this, the reading flow isn't great. It's caused because you use the symbols for direct speach (") very inconsistent and you haven't found a way to clearly show when something is an inner thought. Often it's unclear whether the people said something out loud or not and the reader therefore has to pause to figure it out. I think you should do some research and look on other web novels and how it's done there. In paperbacks inner thoughts usually are in italic letters, in webnovels I think the distinction is done with spacing. Your writing could be more detailed and give some more information about the MC besides that she's yelling and has amnesia. You already used the I-perspective so you could include more inner thoughts. This would improve the depth of the character as well and help the reader to emphasize and understand her more. The writing would seem less superficial because for now it's mostly a short description of the facts. (On a personal note, I am no fan of the I-perspective.) Maybe look the perspectives of writing up as well and consider your options. On top of that you should give a bit more detail to the surroundings. For example [She looked arround and found herself in a spacious hospital ward. Next to the door stood a man and a woman, observing her. In shock she blurted out loud: "Who are you?". The woman had a green-blue bob-cut that framed her face and wore a business outfit. The man, in business clothes as well, had short black hair and wore a pair of silver framed glasses. (I made their looks up as an example.) After taking a short glance at her confused face they resumed their previous chat and completely ignored her.] Chapter 2-5: You changed the perspective to bird view (Don't know what it's called in English. Sorry, like I said I'm no expert.) The story now is about Mirror Stephanie till chapter 5. There even seems to be a time skip to her marriage before chapter 5 begins.... I am confused. Wasn't the story about Heaven? Chapter 6: Your grammar has improved. You seem to get ei and ie mixed up often like in their or weird or hire/heir. You also like to leave the "I" out from "I am". Many of your sentences only start with "Am". In the later chapters her amnesia seems to be forgotten although it was such an important thing for the start of the story. I feel like you could have used the amnesia more. I stopped reading after chapter 18. Teen isn't really my genre. As for my thoughts on your book: I think you have and interesting plot in mind that just lacks details and more experience in writing. I could see your writing improve chapter by chapter which I really like. This shows that you should definitely stick to writing and collect experience. Your English was also getting better and better. Just read more and continue writing. I didn't check how old your writing is, so maybe you already worked on some of those issues. As for now I recommend you to download a English template for your smartphone keyboard or to use a writing program that offers a spell and grammar check for the English language (depending on how you write). This will help to improve your understanding of the English language and prevent a lot of mistakes from the beginning. I guess writing is just a hobby of yours so hiring an editor would be a bit overkill. Please don't take my criticism to heart. No, that's wrong, please take it to heart, just don't take it the wrong way. I tried my best to give you constructive criticism (positive feedback) that is helpful for you to improve further. It may seem like I wrote a lot (I did) but they are just a few points in total that I excessively talked about. Some of them are an easy fix, others need time to improve (writing experience and English grammar) but all of them are fixable if you're willing to. Also I am no writer, just a reader. It's easier to pick out flaws if you've never done the work. I am not good at writing, being creative and creating my own story just from imagination. I am just able to point out the things I notice and work on top of the basics/the words written by you. Without you doing the groundwork I wouldn't be able to suggest options for you. So please don't take me as a know-it-all. It's all based on your hard work for which I would like to thank you. Looking at your comments and reviews you have some loyal readers that enjoy your work, so please continue doing what you do. I hope I was of some help and I wish you all the best for the future dear Author-san 💜

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