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Me, as a new reader loved it. I love these mysterious stories. Most of the gangster stories are based on male leads but I loved how you chose female and KIDS... I could relate this story because it is about a **** girl. I noticed some grammar error but for your age it is splendid. By each chapter your grammar is improving too. I think I am in love with Noah author 😅.

I like the idea of the main character fighting back against the rules of their society. It makes for an interesting premise and can go a variety of ways. In the 5 chapters I have read, I felt that the character description were quite devoid of charm and that statement can go for most of what I've read. Emotions aren't shown, but told directly to the reader. (Ex: Liam was angry, Dazzle was shocked, Dazzle was scared, etc.) You want to describe their emotions, not tell them. For example, you could say Liam's blood boiled like lava instead of using the word angry. The text was also very bland at times since the word choices were basic. I recommend a thesaurus to spice up your story. Overall, this novel has a very unique premise and that's the first step to fame. Work on what I said and I can assure you'll gain massive popularity.

Intriguing and enrapturing! I could relate to and understand Dazzle, her struggles and the wrongs done to her. Revenge isn't an healthy path in life but I can enjoy a good book centered around it.

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Most awesome book ever The thriller was at peak Everyday I come to check if u posted next chapter. Nice work All the best U r doing good

Reveal spoiler

Intriguing, this book is so very interesting. The title is what hooked me in the first place, and kudos to the author for writing such a wonderful book[img=recommend]

This novel is extremely intriguing, the title is catchy, and I can't believe I found this book only today. Kudos to the author. [img=recommend]

Nice work author, there were some grammar errors but your book was really captivating! Keep writing and Don't give up! I like the way you explain the characters and stuff!!!!

I do honest reviews. Always. So, sorry if you feel bad. I really liked the story. It had a feel that the middle aged century was brought into a modern world story. The struggles of a young girl living a life in the shadows of the males. I love the concept. But i am pretty dissatisfied by the grammar. I, as a new reader and writer, look for the grammar and vocabulary first. Vocabulary was on point but the grammar needs to be edited thoroughly.

Sis, you gotta check that grammar and do some thorough editing. The story is very intriguing. I also like the way the main characters were explained before but you missed out jenny. Other than that the story is nice and I have added it to my library as well.

this litterally got me hooked! very good story! i would recommend this to anybodu who will ask me which story i read is amazing! i would definitely add this to my collection!

I don't see any problems there and all. But, the small things like good grammar (e.g. stop points and captials etc) should be checked. These stuff could get new readers to turn away thinking that 'oh, it has bad grammar so the next chapters going to be bad or something' but that's my opinion. Good Work!

The world background description is superb. The scenes are well described and written. The characters are nicely done. Great job author, keep up the good work 🤗

The storyline and the blurb is great! It will make you hooked up to the first chapter of it! Revenge is the best part, but it is a dangerous thing to do really! Great job!

Well, your storyline is superb. I loved it. The process’s kind of obscure and a touch of thriller. I liked reading it. The chapters look impressive. Suggested to everyone. Suggestions which I would like to address is, firstly, make your paragraphs a little quick. Prolix paragraphs make readers misplace their interest. Secondly, seek to write more dialogues that don't conduct everything in paragraphs. When a reader reads the dialogue with a small classification of how it is maintained, the reader can visualize individually and all dialogue. Thirdly, write explanatory paragraphs, like how the school of Dazzle looked like or how she looked like. Characterization is necessary for a novel. Try to explain the person and place to make readers visualize them. Fourthly, don't leave a space between a word and punctuation. That is all I want to answer… All the fittest for your forthcoming chapters.

Well, your storyline is superb I liked it. The way it is kind of mysterious and a bit of thriller I liked reading it. The chapters seem interesting. Recommended to everyone. Suggestions which I would like to give is, firstly, make your paragraphs a bit short. Lengthy paragraphs make readers lose their interest. Secondly, try to write more dialogues don't convey everything in paragraphs. When a reader reads the dialogue with a small description of how it is said, the reader can visualize each and every dialogue. Thirdly, write descriptive paragraphs, like how the school of Dazzle looked like or how she looked like. Description of is necessary for a novel. Try to describe the person and place to make readers visualize them. Fourthly, don't leave a space between a word and punctuation. That is all I want to say.. All the best for your upcoming chapters :)

it was a nice story of a poor girl,facing many problems all together in a city which doesn't allow girls with much freedom. oops i shouldn't give spoilers, you guys have a look at it, it's a good story with little errors.

Pretty nice intro to your book! Be sure you write more everyday! Your descriptions is quiet well too! Must sure to change up the beginning of sentences

Quoting Cruella, "They say there are five stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Well, I’d like to add one more. Revenge." I only started reading this book, but I am in awe with Dazzle and her personality! Keep Up The Great Work, Author!!