Aborted baby makes Matheus have a boner...

27 June 2022 Monday

Matheus is addicted to porn and masturbation, he started feeling withdrawal symptoms, this is the strongest enemy he fought since he decided to serve God. The fact that he lives in the city o Cubatão doesn't helps, lots of girls using lewd clothes on street.

Insomnia and other sleep difficulties anxiety, stress, and other forms of fear, fatigue and weakness, depression, despair, and other forms of sadness, agitation, Lack of focus/attention/concentration (brain fog), Mood Swings, Frustration, irritability, annoyance, fever, pornographic flashbacks, and sexual dreams, sexual cravings, sexual thoughts, and urges to use porn and/or masturbate, desire to avoid socializing, decline in dopamine receptors (numbed pleasure response in everything except porn)

28 June 2022

Matheus woke up in his bed during the morning around 8AM and started speaking to his guardian angel.

"I don't have to work and I'm already that stressed, imagine if I had to work. I'm not even feeling the desire to get out the bed... It's ironic, that I used to feel sorry for babies or kids that died, but after thinking I realized that now they are happy in heaven and I'm here suffering exiled on Earth." - subtle laughs - "they are the ones that should feel sorry for me... Wait, what happens to babies that die without baptism?"

his guardian angel told him telepathically "oh, don't worry, God loves them more than you love them... hmm... I want your help."

Matheus releases a moan of laziness and says "do you really need my help?" you can hear in his tone of voice that he just wanna do nothing.

Matheus wearing only shorts woke up in his bed during the morning and started speaking to his guardian angel.

"I don't have to work and I'm already that stressed, imagine if I had to work. I'm not even feeling the desire to get out the bed... It's ironic, that I used to feel sorry for babies that died short after borning because now they are happy in happy and I'm here suffering" - subtle laughs - "they should feel sorry for me... Wait, what happens to babies that die without baptism?"

He started hearing the voice of his GA saying "oh, don't worry, God loves them more than you love them... hmm... I want your help."

Matheus releases a moan of laziness and says "do you need my help?" you can hear in his tone of voice that he just wanna do nothing

I'm gonna use GA as an abbreviation for the guardian angel.

His GA says "in the ww2 and jew woman was killed with a baby inside her, so God took the baby put it in a ring and gave her to me, I didn't know what to do with her but now... but her body stopped aging when she biologically turned 18 years old."

Confused Matheus asks "why are you saying that?"

"Look at the hand that you normally used to beat your meat."

He look at his left hand, and a purple ring appeared on his ring finger.

"This is like a pokeball, there is a person inside it."

"Wait what?"

"She doesn't have house, family, or friends, so I want you to take care of her."

He doesn't look happy with this idea "hmm, why me?"

"Well, if a soldier serves his country he gets a medal when someone serves God he gets merit, if you help her, you can use the merit that you get, to ask God to give you the grace to endure easily your porn addiction..."

He looks at the ring thinking about the request

"She looks like a 13-year-old, but she knows nothing, you will need to feed her, and pretty much teach her everything since she has the wisdom of an baby" GA said

"Can I return her if she starts to give me too much trouble?"

"Yes."

"Ok, how do I get her out of the ring? wait, she was doing what inside the ring all this time?

"Just imagine her near you, and she will appear there, to put her inside you just have to desire it. She was sleeping all those years but.

Before he started to imagine her his GA says reminds him "be ready, babies cry when they are born... put on some clothes too. From now on, while she is inside the ring, you will share your senses with her."

After Matheus puts on a shirt and closes the windows and turns the lights on. He made her appear lying on his bed, she is 1.5m in height, average weight, with short black hair, dark skin, brown eyes, and naked.

She started crying out loud, looking like a baby that just got to the world, Matheus starts saying "shhh" to calm her, and after 10 seconds of crying she stops, and start staring at him, Matheus finds it kinda awkward and creepy so he avoids eye contact and throw a blanket at her, then starts dressing her in his oversized clothes. starts scratching his head like he is thinking what the hell he is gonna do now? He gets a boner but ignores him.

"do you speak?" he questions her

But she just looks at him with the semblance of curiosity, lifts her arms in his direction, and starts closing and openings her hands.

"hmm, wanna hug? wait what if I make you sick" Matheus said

"oh it's okay, her vaccines were updated," Matheus's GA said

"Ok."

Matheus gives her a pillow to hug, and she hugs it and starts putting it in her mouth, descends to the bed holding herself in the bed, and craws towards Matheus trying to climb him while Matheus feels embarrassed grabs her by the arms and lifts her, her legs shake.

"You can't stand right?" he said.

"Trand." she brabbled.

"What's her name?" he asked his GA.

"I don't know, give a name to her," GA said

Matheus took a moment to think, and says "Casca."

He holds her hands to help her to walk, and takes her to the kitchen since he heard her stomach grunt of hunger and her making weird groans, "I'm gonna feed you." makes her take a seat and sits next to her, take her by the hand, grabs and banana and pells it, put a little bit on her mouth, she takes small bits and chews with her mouth open. But an unexpected visitor came, his carnal desires, he doesn't literally hear them btw, Matheus is not crazy. They speak metaphorically.

His lust puts his hand on Matheus's shoulders, gets close to his ears, and whispers trying to manipulate him "wow, look at her grip, what if... you teach her... to grab, another... banana?

Matheus exhales annoyed and says to his lust "shut your bitch ass mouth."

"I'm just trying to help you man, chill. I just think this would be a great idea you know." Lust said.

"Nah, my GA would kill me or something like that, you stupid maggot." Matheus said

Lust laughs mocking him and says "dude, ww2 happened, millions died, and today thousands of people die in Ukraine, do you really think he cares about you? Does God care about you? you are by yourself, do whatever you want. You GA probably doesn't care, he said that beating your meat is a sin, but you beat your meat for years and he did nothing. In your house, there is only you, and her. Spirits don't exist, I! am your friend, I! want to care about you."

Matheus rubs his forehead to relieve stress, he stills has a boner, and is frustrated with himself since he is literally having a boner towards practically one baby.

With a sad semblance, he says "sorry."

"Make her grab your cock, just a little bit please," Lust said.

"never!" Matheus said.

Lust looks surprised and says "wow! but... ever? forever is sooo looooong, are you really... never going to do it? don't you think it's too much time? do you think you will endure the desire... forever?"

"uuhhh" Casca babbled making Matheus snaps back to reality, realize she finished eating, then gives milk to her using his sister's cup, she got a milk mustache, Matheus stares at it, you can see in his face, looks like he is outside of reality, and lost in thoughts.

Lust manipulatively whispers "ooh boooy, look at those lips."

Matheus wipes the mustache with his thumb... runs it over her lips... puts it inside her mouth... slightly opens her mouth... heart starts beating faster... licks his fingers... starts sucking like a baby bottle... It's like he lost all control of his body except his left hand resting on his thigh... but he naps back to reality because she dropped the plastic cup, he looks at it, but realizes he would be able to see below her shirt, she is not wearing underwear...

Lust says in an imperative and threatening way "pick it up... pick, it, up."

Matheus pinch his left thigh "gah... I can pick it up with my feet you stupid... man you are soo annoying, if I could I would shut up you."

He gets up from the chair with her, at takes her by the hand to the... bathroom, inside it, he helps her to sit on the ground, his face is red, and he is clearly embarrassed, drops his pants and underpants, sits on the toilet, she crawls closer to get a better view, her face is very close to his private parts, he watches her to make sure she won't touch... stuff... he starts peeing and taking a shit, finishes, uses the toilet paper, and flush the toilet, all of this made under the watch of her curious eyes.

"Please, I beg you, don't take a shit in my bed okay?" Matheus said

She lifts the lid of toiled, to look inside, and starts crawling away from the bathroom to explore, he accidentally looks at her ass, looks at the sky, closes his eyes signs and says with dismay "I hate myself.", leaves, grabs her by her back to make the walk to his room, puts her on the bed, and starts thinking in a way to teach her Portuguese, he opens the widows but close the curtain probably his neighbors would not snitch him but better safe than sorry, he watches videos, movies, and anime on his phone with her for around 1 hour, then realizes starts training her to walk for around 1 hour, now she can stand by herself by can't walk yet, she would try to practice more but she looks bored, she starts moaning and making weird noises, he takes her to the toilet, she pees, and he... cleans her, all this time his Lust was suggesting him indecent actions. He feels relief because it looks like she at least knows how to ask to go to the toilet.

She starts to stink a little bit of sweat, so he takes her to take a shower, he just takes her clothes away but keeps his, and put her below the shower, all without looking at her body.

His lust says "dude" and laughs as if he is mocking him for doing something stupid making Matheus's heart start to beat fast "remember when a dude, killed a bunch of babies using a katana, their guardian angels did nothing, why do you think yours is going to mind?" Matheus starts slowly turns his head to look at her "do you know why? because, they, don't, exist."

Matheus felt soo much anxiety that his legs start feeling weak, he lose balance, bumped his head on the wall, and fainted.

Wakes up, and his back is soaked in water, puts a hand on his head, it's not bleeding, sees Casca looking at him, and she looks worried.

His lust says "before, you wanted to be catholic" he said with disgust "at least you had porn, but now... look at you, suffering there for a God that doesn't even exist. But do you know something that exists? pleasure! DON'T YOU MISS THE PLEASURE?!" his disgust grows "LOOK AT WHAT IT GETS YOU! REPRESSED FEELINGS, DEPRESSION, SADNESS, ETC. YOU SHOULD DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. USE HER NOW!"

Matheus with a sad and shy tone of voice, as if he is about to cry, says "but, I do not wish to feel temporary pleasures, I want a supreme and definitive one."

With huge anger, Lust screams to him "YOU WILL FELL THE PLEASURE OF THIS ORGASM FOREVER, I PROMISE IT WILL BE SUPREME AND DEFINITE" Casca starts playing with the water and touching the walls to satisfy her curiosity "LOOK AT HER, YOU HAVE TOTAL CONTROLE ABOVE HER, SHE CAN'T DO SHIT TO STOP YOU, USER HER NOOOW! YOU CAN'T SACRIFICE YOUR CARNAL DESIRES LIKE THE SAINTS, BECAUSE IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. THE CATHOLIC CHURCH MADE ALL THIS SHIT UP SO THEY CAN LOOK LEGITIMATE, AND RAPE KIDS!"

Those words hurt Matheus, he closes his eyes, tears start dropping, sobbing, and he starts crying out of extreme sadness.

With a shy tone of voice, he says "you liar, always when you tell me this, I get frustrated, because the pleasure is way less than I was expecting" Casca stops playing and looks at him feeling sorry for him, he starts complaining with a sad tone of voice "why this has to be soo hard?" he looks up with his sad and full of tear eyes "why can't I just go to heaven? I don't wanna work, resist the temptation, be among annoying people including me, and other stressful stuff like that!"

He grabs he arms look her in the eyes, and says "sorry! I should feel sorry and compassion for you, but... all I can feel is horniness" releases the grip, lies on the wall again crying, sobbing, and moaning in sadness.

"If I don't resist the temptation I go to hell and suffer, but if I resist I suffer... ah man, is asking to not suffer, asking too much?

Seeing him sad, Casca gets closer to him worried about him, his head is inclined, looking at the ground.

His laziness in a more calm and educated way says "look at how much trouble she is giving you, just give up dude, it's not even a sin... You are being exploited, your angel is just too lazy to take care of her... Ditch her and go, play team fortress 2."

His lust says "ZAMN she is a poketpussy!

Casca touches his face, making him snap back to reality, he grabs her wrist, looks her in the eyes, and says "sorry, I was distracted, let's leave the shower." he dries her with his bath towel, puts new clothes, after searching a lot his wardrobe he finds shorts that fit her. Looking at her putting his pillow on her mouth like a baby he thinks "man... I need a new brain, this one is spoiled, broken."

Around 18:00 his mom arrives from work, so he just puts Casca in the ring, when he went to sleep around 22:00 he started to hear whispers, he scratches his head and realized the whispers got stronger, he puts his left hand on his ear and hears moans of someone in fear, he thinks it's Casca so he teleports her to his side, she immediately hugs him. You can see on his face that he doesn't feel sorry for her.

"scared of the dark?" he said

He stays awake until she falls to sleep, puts her back on the ring, looks at the ceiling, and thinks "I can't believe, I won against the temptation, despite the strong feelings... no... the grace of God won for me... It's like I fused my weak body with a strong fighter like Goku, so we could beat someone way stronger than me, that otherwise would be impossible for me to beat alone."

A day full of stress this was, his lust and laziness tormenting the entire day. But they are getting tired, one day they will leave him alone, or get weaker. His lust wants him to fuck the baby, and laziness to give up trying to take care of the baby and fuck her already or just abandon her.

You can maybe think that Matheus is teaching her to call him dad, but, no, he is not, he doesn't wanna get attached to her, nor her to get attached to him since he doesn't know if he is going to endure the trouble of keeping her... He knows he doesn't know the future, he fears his fickleness.