You can't find better irony than this

One of the defining features of human beings is their ability to communicate. The point to which it has evolved is really incredible if you think about it. It's not just different languages, it's the variety of micro-compositions. There is interviewing, interrogation, social conversation, formal conversation, professional… I could go on. The point is, the human system of communication is evolved to have structure and rules that the human mind is evolved to pick up on. So, you could immediately feel something is weird when this structure is broken.

In my case with the free-spirited nudist, I was trying to interrogate her while she was communicating casually. It was headache-inducing, which is why I switched to a more give and take, information trading approach, hoping she would comply with it. So, picking up where we left off, I politely questioned her about the events that ensued during my slumber.

"A lot of things happened, I'm not quite sure where to start," she said, looking up in thought while having a finger partially inside her mouth. I really believed she was going to provide me with valuable information this time, but then I noticed her eyes slowly falling to the empty plate in front of her.

I internally said, 'don't you dare.' And… she dared.

"I'm gonna go get another piece of cake. You want some, bro?" Without another thought, I activated my pigmentation specifically on my eyes and shot her a glare. The color red was meant as a sign of intimidation, but she got that message just from the glare. She visibly shuddered. "Woah," she giggled uncomfortably. "That's kinda scary."

"What's your name?" I made sure to be very stern with my tone.

Appropriately, her reaction had a bit of fear mixed in, "It's Pokayko. Everyone calls me Pok."

"Okay Pok, listen carefully." One last chance before I give up and put her head through a wall. I figured being vague will get me nowhere with her, so I decided to be more direct with my questions. "When you saw me, you mentioned that Heath gave you my description. Last time I met him, I spurted an enormous tree near him that produced an everlasting thunderstorm. So, if you're still not sure where to start, why don't you tell you what happened after that incident? How did that lead to you baking a cake completely naked in my kitchen?"

"Um—"

"And final warning. If you ask even a single unrhetorical question before I'm satisfied with the information you provide, I will put your head through a wall."

Since my day of arrival, I've never had to speak to someone more than necessary to get my point across. But this woman was exceptional — an exceptional pain in the ass. She gulped while maintaining a collected look, before proceeding, "Okay, I don't know if you know this, but when that tree incident happened, it wasn't just Heath who was nearby."

I instantly knew what she was trying to say, but I didn't interrupt her flow. Let me explain it better for you. You see, while I was in my lucid dream and initially searched for the location of the other immortals, they were all in the region surrounding the warehouse where I was fighting Heath. But that's as far as I got to know, because I assumed they were camping there temporarily, and I figured finding out their actual base would be more useful information. I had to go one day back in time to find their secret base and that's where I practiced fighting them.

But the point is, when Edith and I encountered Heath at the warehouse, we were supposed to encounter all four of them. So, why were most of them absent? Well, Pokayko was responsible for that. This is going to sound dumb, but bear with me. In the middle of the forest — behind the warehouse — where they camped, she set up a mud oven and started baking fresh cookies. Apparently, those cookies were worth causing an internal dispute over. An argument broke out and it was decided that only one of them needed to go to the warehouse to deal with us, the intruders, while the rest could sit and munch on the cookies. And it was decided with rock-paper-scissors, which Heath got the short end of.

Anyway, when the tree emerged, all four of them were in the radius of impact. Since Heath was the closest, he got affected the most. He fled the scene with severe burns on his body, to the point where his bones and parts of his skull were exposed. What happened after that aligned with my initial prediction. "Heath was convinced that you were the Avatar," she continued. "But since we were supposed to feel the Avatar's presence, which we didn't, it led to an even bigger dispute than the one over my cookies."

So, one thing led to another and the four immortals were divided. Heath and Pokayko were on the side who believed I was the Avatar, while the other two, "Adamas and Venus were against it. Actually, it was more of an argument between Heath and Adamas; Venus and I kinda just picked sides. Adamas thinks of himself as this flawless being, so he couldn't accept the possibility of him being unable to sense the Avatar's presence like he was supposed to."

So, this was the first major event that happened while I was asleep. The red mages divided into two factions, some still under the control of Heath, while most under Adamas. "Adamas is like the leader of us in a way. I mean, he just has that kind of aura, you know what I'm saying? So, it's not surprising that most of the Paragons of Omni remained on his side, leading to our exile."

It was after their exile, half a month ago, Heath and Pokayko arrived at my mansion in search of me; it wouldn't have been hard for him to work out the connection between me and the AL enchantments Devon was manufacturing. From what I heard, Edith was the first to greet them when they arrived at the compound gate. When I say 'greet', I mean she immediately went for the offense, not even bothering to question their intentions. Apparently, Heath attempted to get some words in, but she wasn't willing to listen at all. It was only after severely damaging a portion of the compound wall, Devon came in to stop the madness.

Now, this is the part I didn't understand. Not only was Devon willing to hear Heath out, he also agreed to assist him after learning about the split within the red mages. If it was me, I could have used my analysis to know if he was lying about it or not, but from Devon's perspective, it should have been really suspicious. But then again, I trust Devon enough to believe that he made that decision after giving it enough thought.

"Since then, Heath and I've been living here. It's a really lovely place, I got to redecorate my own room as well. But on the downside, we are being charged 4 gold coins per night as rent."

'So, it's not a fully trusted alliance,' I concluded. "What happened afterwards?" I questioned as she stopped narrating. "I'm sure Adamas and Venus would have done something in response."

"I don't know. I'm usually not involved in such discussions, because I end up not paying attention anyway."

"Well, at least you're self aware," I muttered under my breath. "So, where are they now? Why are you here alone?"

"They're all at the royal palace," she replied nonchalantly, expecting me to just understand the context behind it. "Oh and also, Devon told me to give you this message in case you come back while they're away. Um, let me see if I can remember..."

"God no, stop," I said, rolling my eyes. I've known her 5 minutes and I already wouldn't trust her with anything even remotely important. There's no way Devon, after knowing her for half a month, would either. I pushed my chair back, and patted on my suit all around. Sure enough, I felt a paper in the right inside pocket. I pulled it out, unfolded it, and proceeded to read.

It was certainly an important message, but I had to confirm it. "Was this the message you were told to give?" I extended the letter to Pok, her fingers covered in chocolate and saliva. While she read through it, I searched my other pockets to make sure I wasn't planted with anything else.

"Oh I remember now. He didn't tell me any of this, he just told me to let you know there's a letter for you inside your pocket." It was such a natural response from her too, at least I thought so. But I might just be getting used to her carefreeness.

Anyway, about the message that Devon left me. Basically, there is a small to medium scale problem currently going on. You see, immediately after the red mages split, Adamas and Venus had to make significant adjustments to their existing organization; otherwise, Heath could simply expose this organization to benefit us greatly.

These adjustments practically wiped their existence off the radar. Slave trading business, connections with the temple and academy, all gone without notice. It was a smart move on their part, because even without Heath, I was gaining influence within Eden with all the propaganda being spread and effortlessly winning the past gubernatorial election; yes, I now had a follower who is also a governor. So, all the enmity between the red mages and the king was now between us and the king. Because, we are the only entity that is currently on the radar that is boldly gaining influence through religious means.

You may already be able to see the problem here. Adamas and Venus now had something to use against us. And how can they do that? Well, remember the story about them giving up on kidnapping princess Loeya after she joined them? Yeah, now they can just kidnap her and frame us for it. And spark a misunderstood conflict between us and the most powerful man in the kingdom they know of.

Luckily for us, Heath already expected this much, and got Devon's cooperation to take a rather questionable action. To quote Devon's letter, 'We kidnapped her ourselves and are willingly holding her captive in the Eastern forest.' The idea behind kidnapping the princess to prevent her from being kidnapped by another party is kind of self explanatory. But not only that, 'We are also using this opportunity to bring the king to our side,' they decided to put up an act on top of this. If Heath and my companions could assist, or pretend to assist, the king in 'rescuing' the princess, we can potentially gain his trust and prove that the real enemies are under the radar. And that's the plan they decided to carry out. So Heath, Edith, and Devon were all currently at the royal palace, providing support.

However, as far as the contents in the letter suggested, there was one thing that Devon and Heath failed to consider. You see, there have already been multiple attempts to kidnap princess Loeya, and they have all ended up failing. She herself said that it was because the king and the strategist — Martin — were always a step ahead of the red mages. But I personally haven't seen a shred of evidence to support that. For example, I've seen her easily manage to sneak in and out of the academy dorm, she doesn't have guards trailing behind in the academy, and the elephant in the room on that topic, she joined the red mages without either of them finding out.

Now, I had no idea why or if at all this was a valid suspicion. But if I'm not overthinking this, the king probably already has a way to effectively find his daughter. Worst case scenario, Devon and Heath's plan will backfire on us hard. But it wasn't all bad though. I seem to have woken up at just the right time to set things on the right path. "It's time for a reunion," I said to myself, and turned to Pokayko. "Put some clothes on, we're going to eastern forest."

Skipping past all the redundant and irrelevant questions she asked, I patiently got her to wash her hands and we together headed upstairs to her room. You may either be pleasantly surprised or frustrated by the fact that I hadn't resorted to extreme means yet. But you have to understand, she was the best resource I had to achieve the level of patience that may be required to override my character trait.

Just as we approached her room, I said, "Pok, I should mention that your room is not going to be in the same condition you left it."

I could almost hear the paranoia in her voice. After all, it was a room she had personally decorated. "Wh—what? What do you mean?"

And when she finally opened the door to the room and saw the mess, she was appalled. "What the heck?!" she shouted, hearing which, the dog woke up and started barking. "Oh look, a puppy!" And she was back to being cheerful again. That's literally all it took for her to ignore everything and run up to the little creature to cuddle with her.

I was somewhat looking forward to seeing her in emotional distress over the bloody mess in her room, because… the reason doesn't matter. She ended up getting distracted by the dog anyway. And that became another headache. I practically had to drag her around to get her dressed and exit the mansion. I almost contemplated going to the eastern forest without her, but I knew for a fact that my followers will be guarding princess Loeya's captivity. By myself, I might just cause another bloodbath if they provoke me.

Once we were outside of the mansion, able to smell the garden nearby, Pok asked, "I'm assuming you know how to drive a carriage. Because I sure don't." She was now wearing a pair of leggings and a colorful sleeveless top.

"Neither do I. But don't worry, I am well aware of how useless you are at this point."

She pouted, "Are you this mean to everyone?"

"No." I activated my flight skill, and grabbed her by the waist. "Hold tight."

I didn't bother giving her time to adjust or even react, I just took off. Surprised by the sudden thrust, she shut her eyes and wrapped her arms around my neck. She started yelling, "Zenith, wait! I'm terrified of heights! Come on, come on, please! Bro!" With her eyes closed, she was basically just freaking out about her feet not being able to touch the ground anymore.

Although my camouflage skill was active around us both, her screams could still be heard outside. "Shut up. I don't want the people below hearing us. And stop calling me 'bro'." At this point her legs were also wrapped around me, like a sloth hugging a tree. It was a bit uncomfortable physically, to fly while balancing her weight on my body. But mentally, I found it amusing.

"Are we there yet?" Pokayko, still shut-eyed, impatiently asked.

"It's been 45 seconds, Pok."

"Aw, I feel sick, br—I mean, Zenith. I'm feeling sick."

All things considered, having her throw up on me would not be ideal. But I had a simple solution for it. "Pok, what kind of paintings do you do?" The question was completely irrelevant, except in the sense I assumed it was a very passionate subject for her given how decorated her room and clothes are. The main intent was to distract her from her own discomfort by keeping her mind occupied on something else.

As dumb as that sounds, it worked like a charm. Eventually, she also forgot about her acrophobia, and continued talking while facing me. The downside was obviously that she wouldn't shut up, but I was getting used to it whether I liked it or not. Besides, the pointless conversation took an interesting turn after a while. "A question for you, Pok. Why did you decide to side with Heath? What was your motivation?"

"I like Heath. I enjoy his company more than others, that's all."

"Okay, so what is your position on my identity? Do you believe that I am the 'Avatar', as you call it?"

She thought about that question for a bit, and returned a peculiar response. "Can I be honest? I don't think you'll like this answer."

"Go on."

"I don't really believe in all that. Like the whole God fiasco, I think it's all just a made up story," she said. And honestly, I was so close to laughing out loud after hearing that. But I contained it with a smile. "What's so funny?"

What's funny? An immortal, personally designed and developed by God, is an atheist; how is that not funny? You can't find better irony than this. That's the equivalent of Jesus Christ saying, 'with man this is impossible, but with God it doesn't matter because he is not real.' Ignoring her question which I thought was rhetorical, I continued with my inquiry. "Do you remember your first memories? How were you born into this world, and what were you capable of?"

"Venus and I awakened together, 40 years after Heath and Adamas. All of them were strongly motivated towards an invisible being called the Avatar, but… I guess I didn't feel that way, or maybe I did and I couldn't interpret it the same way. Regardless, I didn't want to be left alone, so I just pretended to know what was going on and stuck with them."

At this point, it's safe to call these four 'defective immortals'. Not only could they not sense my presence, but they were also majorly flawed considering the intended design. But weirdly, it made them more… dare I say, human. More so than Edith and Devon, who I've known to be incapable of disobeying me.

"You say 'awakened', yet you don't believe in God?" I was intrigued enough to keep the conversation going. A small part of me was also entertained by Pok's responses. "I mean, you were not born into this world, you were materialized. How can you explain that as anything other than an act of God?"

"Um…" she did not have an answer for that. But then she asked, "Are you really God then?"

I did not expect that question, but I felt obliged to answer it. And I did so in quite an unusual way, if I do say so myself. "I don't think the answer will make much of a difference between you and I. You're not going to start worshiping if I say that I am, and you're not going to be any more casual with me if I say that I'm not. Think of me the way you think of me now, I don't quite want you to change."

I suppose my opinion of her changed from irritating to mildly entertaining over the short duration. Mostly because I figured it was impossible to get her to treat me the same way Edith and Devon treats me, but also because I liked her company to some extent. Think of it like this. If I have a problem with someone, I will rely on Edith to get rid of them. If I have a problem with something, I will rely on Devon and rest assured. But if I just want to entertain myself, I'd much rather have Pokayko by my side than anyone else.

"Can I keep calling you 'bro' then?"

"No."

…

We were a few minutes away from our destination, and Pokayko was still in the same position, arms wrapped around and in my face, endlessly rambling on. My eyes were mostly focused on the ground level, both for navigating and keeping a lookout for suspicious activity. And then, "Wait, shut up," I abruptly placed my hand over Pok's mouth as I silently descended with a curious frown.

I spotted a group of 17 mages fairly deep within the eastern forest, wearing uniform dark blue cloaks with hoods covering their heads. They seemed like they were on a mission, and the only relevant thing happening in this forest as far as I knew was princess Loeya's captivity. So, either the red mages changed their branding and became the blue mages, or this was an entirely different party. As I descended closer, I noticed almost all of them were equipped with high quality identical magic staffs. It seemed eerily like a government funded secret group.

"They found her," I muttered to myself. "So, what about the red mages?"

I flew higher while developing a few new magic skills. With me not allowing Pok to speak, her acrophobia resurfaced causing her to go back to hugging me like a sloth. Anyway, my attention was elsewhere. At an appropriate altitude, I activated my two new skills.

> Skillset: … Mana Detection (Complexity - B) ; Optical Zoom (Complexity - B) …

I honestly didn't expect the red mages to be on the tail as well, but they were. I detected two other groups of mana in separate regions of the forest. One of those groups were my own followers actively guarding princess Loeya. And the other group upon zooming in, I saw their classic red robes. Although I found it reasonable for the king to have found princess Loeya, something was off with the red mages being able to successfully keep track. "Pok, have there been any attempts made by the red mages in the past half a month? Like, attacking my followers or something?"

"Red mages?"

"Paragons of Omni, as you call them."

"Oh, there was this one time when two adult men randomly attacked one of Edith's trainees, a girl named Akayala. But they fled after she destroyed and humiliated them."

Alright, change of plans. I decided that I first need to confirm the objectives of the two parties. From what I gathered, the red mages were aware of our strength, to the point where it didn't make sense for them to charge us. So, how are they going to kidnap the princess from our captivity? That's what I wanted to know. And as for the other group, I was just curious about how capable they were.

Pokayko and I descended to the area where my followers resided. With camouflage still active, we proceeded to wait. "Pok, we've reached the ground," I whispered. "Can you stop clinging to me now?"

"Oh, sorry." She stepped away to the side, only resting her hand over my shoulder. I still had my arms tied to her waist to make sure she didn't go outside the camouflage's range. "So, what are we doing?"

"Observing," I simply replied, my eyes fixed on my alert followers. At first glance, they appeared to be guarding nothing. But with my mana detection skill, I was able to identify princess Loeya deep underneath the surface. There was apparently a chamber built down there, the entrance to which was well hidden on the ground above.

Only a minute passed since I started waiting, and I heard the quiet footsteps approaching. My followers also heard them and drew out their weapons. It was my first time seeing the citizens of Eden equipped with swords, crossbows, and spears, as opposed to just magic staffs. "Who goes there?" asked the man in charge of my followers.

Realizing they have been spotted, the blue mages stepped in from the shadows. Each of their staffs illuminated at the tips, lighting up the surroundings. This is the part where I would explain how they produced those lights, but I'd rather not ruin the moment here (feel free to theorize though). "Capture them," the lady in front of the blue mages sternly ordered.

No questions asked, they just leaped forward into action. They didn't even state their objective, so I was now less sure if they were actually sent by the king to rescue the princess. Regardless, they were skilled. The first magic skill was performed by a woman who opened a water pouch tied to her waist and used her mana as a medium for the water to flow through. She brought that volume of water before another blue mage, who used ice magic to transform the liquid into sharp icicles, which was then propelled forward at my followers by another mage who used wind magic.

They were incredibly well-coordinated. However, my followers were no slackers either. The man in charge, who held a longsword brought his arm forward, creating a layer of intense heat in front of him, which promptly melted the icicles as they passed through. Additionally countering it, he used his magic to heat up the tip of his sword and roundhouse slashed in the direction of the enemies. The mana that generated heat lingered in the air as it travelled forward, so it was more like a quick sharp heatwave that threatened to slice the blue mage directly in its trajectory.

She barely managed to dodge it at the cost of her own magic staff getting sliced in half. "Next time, it'll be your head," he threatened her and the rest of the blue mages. "Leave this place." As cool as that sounded, they did not yield. They were determined to complete their objective at any cost.

And so, a battle erupted between the two groups, growing more intense each second. Meanwhile, I scanned the area for the red mages as I wondered why they haven't shown up yet. I quickly found out why — those cowards were hiding. I detected their mana in the distance, behind some trees in the darkness. 'Why did they even bother coming here, just to watch?' I thought to myself. But then I also asked myself, what if the red mages secretly informed the king about this location. The motivation being if the blue mages can deal with my followers, it would be enough of a distraction to kidnap the princess. But this assumption only led to more questions, like how did the red mages know this whereabouts in the first place.

I was waiting for the red mages to get involved, but it was as good a time as any to step in and get my answers. "Watch this," I said to Pok, while keeping my eye fixed on the place where the red mages were hiding. I activated my physical action enhancement skill, and thrusted my open palm in the targeted direction. Who needs wind magic when one can physically push air out of the way faster than the speed of sound? I used up mana worth 20000 units, and it created two consecutive sonic booms as part of the action; one was in relation to the speed at which my arm moved, and the other in relation to the speed of the air that got pushed.

The grass weeds in the way got ripped off the ground along with thin tree branches that broke off the nearby trees. The force went all the way to the tree directly beside the red mages, and since it was a direct hit, the trunk of the tree got obliterated and the whole 12 foot sapling fell with a loud thud. Loud enough to grab everyone's attention, leaving the red mages no choice but to either show themselves or flee. They showed themselves to nobody's surprise; I would have been shocked had those prideful idiots fled.

"Let's go," I said to Pok as I simultaneously activated my pigmentation skill and made some clothing adjustments. I took off my suit only to then turn it inside out. Remember those little features I told you about the suit? If I had to summarize them into a single function, I would say that my suit is designed to suit both my identities separately. Outside in, it's a professional suit that exudes elegance and wealth. But turn it inside out, it transforms into a trench coat, the attached white gloves become black, the folded collar turns into a turtleneck, and the buttons get replaced with a magnetic link (it resembles Neo's suit from the matrix reloaded in a way).

I suited up as I simultaneously deactivated my camouflage, and stepped into the scene like a badass — if I do say so myself — with my hands behind my back. The red mages also stepped into the scene, but with more fear in their eyes and movement. "Lady Pokayko," the man in charge of my followers stepped forward, having recognized the dark-skinned woman. "This man is…?"

"Oh yeah, this is Zenith," she nonchalantly replied, and everyone lost their shit. Apparently, my popularity increased while I was sleeping. I had concerns about it, but it's hard to complain when I'm finally getting the respect I deserved after what I experienced with Akayala and Pokayko. My followers were kneeled down before me, the red mages were contemplating fleeing, and the blue mages were just out of options for themselves.

"Alright, now that we all are here," I started, "I would like to clarify something. I recommend you all cooperate." After a short pause, I asked the first question. "Who here is affiliated with the king and the government?"

I got no answer for a solid 2 seconds, which made me turn my head towards the blue mages. They were intimidated enough to respond now. "We— yes, we are," said the woman who led them.

"State your intentions for coming here."

"We were tasked to rescue the princess."

"And how did you know she was here?"

She nodded sideways. "We are not privileged to that information. We were only given our objective." She didn't seem to be lying.

"Very well," I turned my gaze away from the blue mages and asked the next question. "Who here is affiliated with Adamas?"

This time, I got a prompt response from the red mages. "We were also tasked with capturing the princess."

"And how did you know where to find her?"

"We… Lord Adamas did not share that information with us," he hesitantly said while his state of mind screamed 'liar.'

"Very well," I turned to Pokayko. "Pok, please cut his head off for lying to me."

I immediately heard gasps from the red mages' side. Obviously, I had no real intention of cutting off the man's head; it wouldn't serve well for my character trait. The only intention was to intimidate them, but I forgot that it was Pokayko who I asked to assist me. "What? No way! Killing is such a terrible thing to do, Zenith."

'Way to completely ruin the moment,' I internally slapped my face. After a short sigh, I pretended that that never happened and turned to my followers who were still on their knees. "Capture them for questioning later. If they resist, you are permitted to kill, but make sure to leave one alive."

"As you wish, lord Zenith." They rose from their position and approached the red mages. And before Pok could make another moral remark about 'murder is bad', I shot her a stern glare demanding her to shut up.

As for the blue mages, "You may leave. Tell your superior that princess Loeya will be returned to the king unharmed right away." And that was that. They couldn't really object to such a reasonable offer even if it meant technically failing their mission. Besides, resisting my word would be an instant death sentence as far as they were aware.

As the blue mages proceeded to exit the scene, I gestured at Pok to follow me to the underground chamber. Just as I approached the entrance, I suddenly heard a distinct sound of someone being impaled by a longsword to my left, followed by Pokayko gasping to my right. I was initially surprised that the red mages even tried to resist, but then I looked back at the dead body as it fell and said to myself, 'oh you poor dumb bastard.' I recognized what he was wearing — an AL enchanted robe. He probably thought he was going to be revived by it. How tragic… and hilarious. I didn't know if anyone before him had died to that enchantment, but he was the first fatality as far as I knew.

Well, moving on. The entrance to the underground chamber was covered in dirt, which Pokayko kindly moved out of the way. She also opened the wooden trap door, revealing dirt stairs leading down. Once we had climbed down, we found ourselves in a tunnel, with a soft orange light at the end. I took the lead and walked towards the light with quiet footsteps.

We got close enough to the end of the tunnel to be able to make out the torch that emitted the light. And then suddenly a targeted explosion of air discharged at me. The sound of it echoed loudly through the tunnel, but that was all that remained after the first split-second. Because, I saw that attack coming from a mile away and got the virus to cancel it.

I didn't mind the misunderstood aggression of the adorable 16-year-old in front of me, because I was more glad about the fact that she had managed to learn the technique I taught her. I simply smirked and emerged from the darkness into her view. "Is that anyway to greet your old companion, princess Loeya?"

Her eyes couldn't believe it. Filled with euphoria, she launched at me with a tight embrace. "Zenith! You're back."

"Yes," I hugged her back. "Yes, I am."