Life and Sacrifice

June 1, 1986

Sirius handed Sri her cup of tea. He took his own glass of port from the de Sable vineyards, and sat across from her as a gentle breeze brought the scent of tropical orchids into the house. Harry had been tucked into bed, so now was the time to discuss the results of their research.

"Sri you've read the book, is Harry a horcrux?"

"I believe the answer to that question is yes. It would fit especially with his unexplained ability to talk with snakes."

"How do we get rid of it? What I understood from the book was the only ways to destroy them are fiendfyre or basilisk venom."

"Well that would be true if Harry were not a living horcrux. I suspect for the horcrux in Harry to be destroyed he must die."

"But..." Sirius grimaced he'd read the same books and sadly reached the same conclusion. Harry was so little, he was only five. "How?"

"I think our best bet is to use muggle methods; stop his heart for a minute then shock it back into beating again there by killing him and bringing him back to life."

"Won't that just bring back the horcrux?"

"Point, maybe if we trap and destroy the partial soul that the horcrux is made from? I don't know obviously we need to research, and such a thing would be traumatic for anyone. I would want to wait until he can at least partially understand." Sri sighed. "Obviously this isn't something we can solve tonight, so new topic. Have you met anyone nice lately?"

After a short bark of laughter, Sirius snorted. "No what brought that on?"

"Harry has voiced to both Liana and myself how he wishes he had a mother and siblings like his friends."

"Sri I'm a wanted criminal in a third of the world. I'm an auror, police work and romance do not go hand in hand."

"Would it kill you to try? Harry is a selfless little boy and he wishes you were happy; he knows that many times you are not. By having only him in your life it burdens him, makes him feel your happiness rests on him alone. Because even you must admit the only times you are happy are around him, what will you do when he is grown? When Harry learns of this horcrux how will he have hope if the burden of your happiness rests on him alone?"

Sirius paused his first instinct was to deny the truth of what Sri was saying but he knew when she spoke like this she wanted him to hear and understand what she was saying. Was he really burdening Harry by making him the focus of his life. He thought about how hard Harry worked at his lessons, at his sports, and how the little boy always cried when he felt he'd failed or somehow let Sirius down. Harry didn't cry when he got hurt. Only those few occasions when Sirius had voiced displeasure with Harry for exercising poor judgement or even rarer when Harry had been lazy or thoughtless.

"I had not realized Harry felt that way, it was not my intention."

"I know Sirius, more importantly Harry knows, he has a good heart. He could have been like so many children, who go through their childhood never realizing the sacrifices their parents make on their behalf. But because he is conscious of these things, he works to be worthy of the sacrifices you and his parents have made. But as he is still very young it would be better to lift the burden before he grows much older and comes to resent it."

"I'll try."

"That's all I ask. See me out?"

Sirius rose and put his empty port glass on a coaster. He walked her to the gatehouse and bid her farewell.

Sirius then went into the storage room in the gatehouse and pulled out one of the photo albums. He looked as James and Lily smiled and waved and tried to get a baby Harry to do the same. "Am I doing the right things?"he asked. Not sure of who he was asking he put away the album then headed to bed.

...

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