A chat with Coulson

-Agent Coulson-

If I am ever going to change jobs I will make sure to mention traveling 1900 miles in 3 hours as a workplace achievement even though they would not have any way to verify it without being hit by a hundred classified documents and NDAs. I will be sure to tell my colleagues at my next job that going on a Jet that can reach the speed of sound to have a chat with a vigilante is not as forgiving on your stomach as you might think.

I empty the contents of my stomach and yell for Ricky to give me some water, he gives me a bottle but not without bitching about it "I am queasy with Tortured corpses and that is normal Coulson but really, you are still Vomiting after an hour" I wash my face with the water and groan out "I hate Nick Fury" Ricky chuckles as he says "It is in his Job description to be hated by all of us" I nod and take the offered tissues and make myself presentable before I ask him "Last known location of Spiderman".

Ricky grinned as he told me "Rushing to a hospital to save Tony Stark" I took off my glasses to ask him "And why is that funny to you?" Ricky walks faster as he says "Two of my favourite heroes coming together to fight is pretty exciting you know" I burst his bubble as I point out "And one of them being injured isn't so exciting is it?" He turns to me and starts walking backwards as he groans "Why must you ruin everything?" I sigh as I tell him "Sometimes we don't have to ruin anything, the world makes sure of it anyway." He turns to face forward and I ask him "How do we reach the hospital again?"

He tries to stop the smile on his face as he says "None of your old school stuff with Tech in it, I have gotten myself some American Muscle. A V-8 Ford Mustang Fastback" I look at said car and I gotta say even at night the black car looked great. We got in and his gloating saw no end "I am pretty sure your old car wasn't that fast anyway, it was running on hopes and dreams in the first place. Oh don't look at me like that Coulson, I would say the car suited you, old, on its last leg, and spreads pollution too often..." I take out my gun and shoot four bullets making him hold his ears and duck.

"A muscle car shouldn't have side mirrors," I say and pocket my gun before I get inside the car while he shakily starts the car and says "Shall we go then sir" I grin as I tell him "You might be my partner now but I'm still your senior".

-Spiderman POV-

I swing through the streets holding Tony to my back by using my web as a kind of backpack to hold Tony. I asked Jarvis before I started swinging to open the suit, he refused a couple of times before relenting and opening the whole suit except for his left shoulder where the bone of Abomination's elbow was sticking through. The nearest hospital with the capability to operate on Tony was 4 miles away, pretty normal for a place like Hell's Kitchen but I'm sure it will get better now that there is no gang presence in the city.

I swing left and find the hospital, I land and immediately set him on an empty stretcher as I say "Get him in, he needs help" They looked at me in surprise before getting to work and taking Tony in, I walk outside and find a car pulling in faster than advised in these streets and Agent Coulson comes out "You aren't supposed to go that fast on this road" Coulson shakes his head as he says "It was a life and death situation" I frown as I tell him "To the people who were driving with you it was for sure".

He sighs as he says "I am sorry about that, we were in a rush" I nod as I ask him "Why were you in a rush?" He points to me as he says "We had to catch you" I subtly point my wrist at a building as I ask them "Are you here to arrest me, Agent Coulson?" I was ready to fire the web and escape before he said "Recruit you more like" I relaxed my tense muscles and stood with my hands crossed in front of me.

"Oh I say the same as last time, I am not interested in Spy agencies" Some guy gets out of the car as Coulson says "Why aren't you interested? Is there a real reason?" I grin as I tell him "Spy agencies hide so much that they don't even know about themselves" Coulson groans as he says "Is that your go-to phrase to tell us to go fuck ourselves" I nod and tell him "Yeah true" he sighs as he says "I am not here to recruit you to be an agent, I am here to assess if you are good enough to be an advisor in case of an emergency" I don't move or talk as I look at him before I ask "Emergencies like what"

He looks into my eyes as he says "Like today. Two super-powered incidents, three if we count my previous mission all on the same day." I nod as he continues earnestly "We need someone who is well versed in how to deal with them" and that is me because I dealt with both albeit with a little help from Ned and Tony.

I nod as I tell him "I will see what I can do about it" he sighs as he requests "I wish you will be a part of us, we need someone who has experience in dealing with weird things" I throw my hands up as I yell in indignation "Now you are calling me Weird" Coulson laughs and says "You are weird by human standards" I wince as I tell him "I am human if you still have any doubts" Coulson nods patronizingly as he says "We will be sure to update your profile once we confirm the details" I groan as I ask him "You are not going to update that until you put a couple of needles through me aren't you"

Coulson grins as he says "Yes we won't" I shake my head and tell him "I gotta go, it's getting late. The kids will love the story of today's fight" Coulson nods and I swing away while patting myself on the back for making Coulson think that I have a wife and kids.

-Agent Coulson-

I call up Nick Fury and I tell him "He said he'd consider it. Even Stark wasn't this much of an issue" Fury sighs as he says "He kind of ruined our chances with Captain and Stark joining permanently, so it isn't surprising that it's hard to get him as an advisor" I shake my head as I move into the hospital while I inquire "What should I do with Stark in the hospital?" There are a few seconds of unnecessary silence for dramatic effect before Fury says "Monitor his health and try to get any data you can on how his body is reacting to the Arc reactor"

My eyebrows rise in surprise at that as I ask him, while moving through the throng of people "We aren't going to see how it works?" Fury sighs as he says "That reactor will become a Nuke in the wrong hands, I don't think we can deal with fist-sized nukes around the world with the budget we currently have, Coulson" I nod as I request "Is Barton available yet? because New York has been hectic in the last few months and I might need more firepower than I thought"

Fury puts the call on hold and we reach the room where Stark is being treated, I look inside to find that they have copped off both ends of the bone and are currently working on taking it out. "Barton is still in his black suit mission. He won't be available for the next 6 months" I nod as the Black suit mission means Honeymoon. I am still a bachelor so I don't have any such commitments. If I take all my sick leaves at once, I'd be empty-handed for the next 6 months too.

I sit down outside Starks room as I ask Fury one last thing "What about him?" Fury thinks about it for a moment before he says "I think he is in Japan but he will be back in a week" I wonder out loud in confusion "What is he doing there?" Fury's tone turns to sadness as he says "He wants to see the points of impact himself" I sigh as I cut the call knowing full well why he went there of all places, he wants to mourn. After a moment Ricky asks me nervously "hey, I uh, well who is going to come to help us?" I smile as I tell him "A man lost in time"