Chapter 5

I reach the room physically unharmed, but inside me there is a fierce struggle between the pleasure of hearing the teacher talk dirty and the horror of what is wrong. I take off my shoes that almost broke my ankles and then I take off my dress  , quickly pulling on my pyjamas. Sam, why did he never show me that he wanted me?  Does he really not want me?  Does he have to stay with me?

 Before I realize what I'm doing, I call Sam and he answers very quickly with a hoarse voice.

 -"Kate? Are you okay? It's quite late."

 -Sorry I disturbed you...

 -"You didn't bother me at all. I always like to hear your voice... Did something happen?"

 -I came back from the party.

 -"Ok...I don't think that's why you called me. You could have told me this thing in the morning when you woke up. Tell me. What is it?"

 -You asked me today if everything is okay with us and if I still want you near me, right?

 -"Yes..."

 -What about you, Sam?  What is your opinion?  Your answer?

 -"I do not understand..."

 - Are we okay?  Do you still want me with you?

 -"That's really a stupid question, Kate. What happened to ask me that?"

 -Answer me honestly, Sam.  Whatever it is, I think I can handle it.

 I hear him sighing on the phone and a tear falls while waiting for his answer.

 -"Kate...I don't know how to express in words how I feel about you, but...I'm arriving in California in two days because I have a little work to do with a contract. Can we talk more then?"

 -Sure, Sam?

 -"Yes."

 -I really miss you.

 -"I miss you too, Kate. I can't wait to see you."

 I end the call and turn off the light, putting myself to sleep and dreaming of two brown eyes saving me from the darkness.

 ***

 The morning comes early and I start to get ready. I took a shower, I fixed my hair, I got dressed... The door opens and I let out a small scream, being taken by surprise by Selena. She undresses and throws herself on the bed  , literally.

 -Are you not coming to class today?

- I'm just not in the mood for classes right now. You left the party with Chris, didn't you?

 Wow...gossip travels fast.

 -So why?

 -What happened on the way?

 - Nothing. Was something supposed to happen?

 She turns to her side to look at me and wets her lips. I'm not going to like what I hear, right?

 - Just be careful with Chris, ok? He's not exactly a model teacher.

 -You mean?

 -I mean...He likes new girls. In fact, he likes girls a lot. Half of the college had a crush on him.

 -Here you go?

 -You didn't hear from me, okay?

 - I have to go. You will be late.

 I leave the room and for the first time I'm afraid to show up to classes. I have to consider the idea of ​​moving from Chris's class. I'll talk to Sam about it.

 When I get to college, I almost run down the hall and in all my agitation I manage to bump into someone again. I curse and look up.

 - Kate? How was the party?

 I breathe a sigh of relief when I see that the person I bumped into is Karl and I hug him, taking him by surprise.

 - You don't even know how happy I am to see you.

 He laughs and I follow him too.

 -So the party was really that bad?

 -Bad?  It was horrible. The next time you call me, remember what I just said.

 - I promise. Say and we will enter the class.

 Everyone whispers and looks at me strangely. Of course I'm talking about the fact that I went alone with Chris to the dormitory.

 - Please, God, have mercy... I say and Karl laughs again, sitting us down on the bench.

 - Did you have a good time last night with the teacher?  Says the guy behind us and the rest start giggling.

 -Here you go?

 I am absolutely shocked but also scared by these rumours. If the director hears, I might kick her ass and be ashamed to ever see my mother again.  Even if the rumors are not true, my mother will not believe me.

 - We just heard about it... Adds the guy and I want to take Chris's head.

 Did he brag about something that didn't happen? I had a bad impression of him, but now I'm totally disgusted. Chris enters the class and looks at me a little... wrinkled? The bastard. He caused this. I get up from the bench and run to  exit breathing jerkily. This can't happen to me now... Not while I'm at college...

 - Kath!  Chris shouts and I stop.

 -What?  Didn't you get how much more humiliated already?  What do you want from me?

 - I'm sorry that you were dragged into something so pathetic, but it wasn't me.

 -What wasn't you?

 - I didn't say anything about last night. I think someone else did.

 -I really don't care...I don't want to see you ever again.  I say and run as far away from the institution as possible.

 I realize I'm heading to the dorm but I don't want to be there either... Maybe Selena is to blame for all this... I go to a cafe and order a hot chocolate... Maybe more... I'm not sure how much  I've been drinking until now and it's getting dark outside. I check my phone and see several calls from Sam and my mother. I haven't talked to her since I arrived and I don't want to talk now either.

My phone rings again and I see it's Sam.

 -Yes?

 I hear him sigh with relief and I refrain from crying.

 -"I arrived faster in California...Where are you?"

 After giving her the address, I hang up and try to pull myself together. I'm not weak. I've been through worse times than some gossip.