11 | Reminants of Pan

I wish I could say this is the worst things could possibly get. I wish I could say the grass is greener on the other side of this shitpile, but I knew this was just the beginning.

I kissed my enemy and slept with his enemy; I don't know what to think.

After my midnight encounter with Peter I was left with my mouth agape. His words spoken to me today were still lingering in my head:

"You are mine. Never forget that. And if that isn't enough for you, then listen closely. I will strip you away of all that you know, all that you love."

"Now that I know what you taste like, know what you sound like. I want more. I'm going to take it until there nothing left for you to give. I'm going to ruin you, my little robin."

The mere memory brought chills. His words almost convinced me he was right: that I was his. I despise the way he thinks of me. That I'm an object. A toy in his game. I kept questioning why I kissed him back. He was the monster from my nightmares.

"I was once like you. So alone and unhappy. Gripping on to the ones who you cared about although they didn't need you. "

Peter's voice rang in my head again. He was right. Marcus never needed me; I gripped onto him like velcro because being his older sister seemed like the only thing I was good at. I was incapable of doing anything right, but i could make Mark happy whenever he was sad. The night he left, I failed as a sister. The only thing that kept me content at being the pathetic person I was, was gone.

Peter knew how that felt. To feel like dry dirt that was constantly being stomped at. For a brief second I saw a boy in his eyes; not the monster he makes out to be. I think that was the boy I kissed, well I hope. The story the fire pit tales when Peter was playing his pipe that night of a boy hurt from a man, most likely his father. Maybe that boy was Peter. A thought crossed me.

The devil was once an angel too.

I shook my head. I can't feel this way. He wanted innocent children to fight in a war. He had banished lost boys in the past. Killed them. I can't feel this way for him. I had to focus on my plan. I really hope Rumple sends me a message soon; I don't know how much longer I can last here.

The next morning I woke up from a dreamless sleep; Dreading to face the consequences from the events of last night. Thomas still refused to speak to me this morning and ignored my existence. I wanted to tell him the truth about the arrangement Peter and I have, but I don't want him to get hurt. If Peter found out he knew, then I don't think he would hesitate to kill him.

Once I was dressed, I left the treehouse. It was a little chilly so I wore an extra jumper. I thought Peter could control the weather? He could at least have the decency to not let us freeze to death.

Breakfast was a little quiet between Charlie, Ian, Frankie, Tom and I, because of our little screaming match yesterday. The other Lost Boys constant chatter drowned the awkwardness thankfully. Today we had training and for the first time it was something to my relief; I needed to blow off some steam. Once we all headed to the training grounds.

We ordered ourselves in a perfectly straight line in front of Pan, like if they were at some sort of military camp.

"Boys!" Pan's usual greeting, he echoed through the clearing. Suddenly, everyone quieted down as the rest of the boys silenced.

Once they were all correctly positioned, which took a surprisingly short amount of time, he then started circling us like a predator. Pan stood tall in front of his lost boys, his hands folded professionally behind his back, watching us with a stern eye.

"As you know, we are nearing a War." He smugly prowled about while the boys straightened themselves when he neared them, "Wait- where's Thomas?"

Not a word spoken.

Pan terrorised on the poor boy next to Frankie. "Tell me where he is, Ian."

His voice was hesitant, surrealistically weak and fragile in comparison to Pan's booming, dominant voice, "He said he was feeling unwell, so stayed in his treehouse." He was clearly quivering.

Pan snorted. "Last I checked, it was up to me to decide whether or not you all are fit to train. I'll be taking care of him later." Ian locked his lips shut, and even from where I was standing I could see that he was shaking.

It was gut-wrenching to stay back and watch Peter, in a dictatorial fashion, ridicule these children. When in reality, Peter is a simple cocky teenaged boy with an oversized ego. Pitiful, actually. These children who had been stolen from their broken homes with the promise of a happier life, got stuck in an inescapable island with a tyrant like Peter. What Frankie and Thomas had told me about this place feeling like home was unlikely to me. Very unlikely.

Peter continued patrolling us. Finally, after he'd completed a lap, he halted once again in front of them, his hands still bearing behind his back. In that exact pose, along with all the lost boys with straightened back in front of him in that particular manner, I finally realised he is slowly beginning to treat us like soldiers: it made my gut rench.

Pan's emerald eyes territorially swept the training grounds and landed on me at the end of the line. A pathetic attempt to avoid his attention. Especially considering the incidents of last night.

He stormed, almost excitedly, with a sadistic grin reached his ears, "Little robin, I have different plans for you today." Dominance lacing his voice.

Before I could open my mouth to speak, Adrik, who was standing two boys away from me, interrupted. "I don't see why that stupid little girl wants to train with us, she failed to prove herself at the hunt." he declared with the fullest confidence. Clearly he was still angered at me for beating him and stealing his swords, twice.

I wanted to snap back that the stupid little girl had a name, but Pan beat me to it, rounding on him like a bird sweeping down to kill its prey. "Did I give you permission to talk, Adrik?" The black haired boy looked down to his feet but was reluctant to reply. "I asked you a question," Pan growled irritatedly.

"No, you didn't," Adrik mumbled as he raised his head, meeting Pan's gaze with a hunger back.

"Good, so shut that gaping whole you've had the audacity to call a mouth up," he hissed through his teeth at him and then turned back to me while I was trying hard to suppress the embarrassment of facing him, "Now go back to camp, love."

"Why? I want to train today." His brows furrowed and without replying, he then he turned back to his boys.

"Time to train!" he ordered. "Charlie, Ian, Frankie, Daniel and Derik you're doing sword fighting today with Felix." They headed off to the shed to grab weapons. "Adrik, Maison and Dipped you're just earned yourself running, ten laps then join the others."

Maison spoke up, "But we didn't do anything."

Peter scoffed, "Great now you've earned yourself 20."

Dipper gasped, "But-"

"Do you want to make that 30?" He growled.

They groaned and started running off to the forest. Peter turned to me again. Our proximity brought up memories that, by the looks of it, both of us reminisced.

He composed himself relatively quickly and returned his stern look, "I told you to do something."

I gave him the same stern look, I refuse to be that 'stupid little girl' Adrik thinks I am, "I want to train."

He came closer, so close in fact that I could feel his heat radiating off of him, "If you have forgotten little robin, your wedding day is in five days and we still haven't gotten you a dress. So wait for me at camp, unless you want to be punished." He was referring to last night and I wanted to punch off the smug look he gave.

I refuse to falter at those words again, "Fine." I stormed off.

Once I made it back to camp, I headed to my treehouse to check on Thomas. I opened the door to find him sleeping, I sat on the beside him and asked, "Are you alright?"

I lifted himself up, not happy to see me, "What are you doing here?"

I looked at him and realised he didn't look very sick. I put my hand on his forehead, but he slapped it away. I furrowed my brows, "you're not sick Thomas. Why are you lying?"

"It's none of your business, just leave. Stop acting like you actually care about me."

"What do you mean? You're my best friend. No matter how mad we are at each other, I'll always care about you."

He mumbled, "Then why did you choose him?"

"What?" I asked, partly because I didn't hear him and partly because I couldn't believe what he said.

"Why did you choose him over me?"

I didn't know what to say. I had two options: tell him the truth and risk his life or lie and hurt him. I didn't want either option and did something else. I hugged him. Surprisingly, he hugged back. We separated, but held each other close; he was searching my eyes for answers.

"Thomas, I need you to trust me when I say that you are the only one who I will always choose. Peter and I are not-"

"I've been wondering where you went, love." There was a threatening underlying with his tone.

I turned around and found Peter leaning at the frame of the door. How long has he been listening in on us? I internally groaned at him, I was sick of lying to Thomas and at the moment I choose to tell him the truth, Peter had to ruin it.

Thomas was slightly angered by his appearance, but I gripped him arm tightly to signal I'll be okay, "I'm sorry Peter, I was worried about Thomas. He seems to be looking a little more better since this morning."

Peter hummed, "He doesn't look sick at all. You can go back to training Tom." He ordered.

Thomas and I headed out, but as I left, Peter grabbed my arm, "I need you to take your bandages off."

I froze, "what?"

He avoided my gaze, "Take the bandages around your chest off."

"No, why should I?" I tried to stay calm.

He sighed, "I gave the natives fabric for your wedding dress and we're going to their camp to check your measurements."

I tested my luck, "how do you know their not already off?"

He lifted a brow and smirked, "Do you want me to check?"

I didn't want to test that theory so told him to leave. He did and I reluctantly grabbed my pouch from under my bed. I pulled out my bra and put the little baggy back, wedged between the bed and the mattress. When I slowly took the bandages off, it felt like I was taking my skin off. I guess I wrapped it a little too tightly. It felt like my skin could breath again. It felt weird having them free again. I tried to ignore the pain and put my bra and clothes on. I stole one of Thomas's jumper to hide my figure. I really wasn't ready to feel like the self conscious girl I once was. I liked being A.J because I wanted to blend in with the boys.

Once I left the safe confines of my treehouse, Peter was nowhere to be seen. I called out for him and I heard him call me into his tent. I'd never been in there before and a part of me was curious of what was in there. I pulled the curtain and stepped inside. I was greeted by a carpet of soft green moss. In the centre there was a tree trunk that acted as a working table with a chair nearby. It was cluttered his papers. There were book shelves lining the walls, covered in memorabilia, weapons and of course books. The books were large and stained a tea-like yellow. The room seemed to be at least twice the size of our treehouse and his bed consisted of a huge bundle of soft comforters and a few fluffy pillows; there was a drawer beside the door. I couldn't help myself be slightly envious.

Peter seemed busy reading a certain letter in the corner of the room and I cleared my throat to gain his attention. Muttering words under his breath that was hard for me to hear. And then Peter just burst. He took the vase on the side table and threw it on the floor that the glass shattered into tiny little spiky crystals.

I got scared. I stuttered, "P-Peter?" He looked at me still angry.

I again asked, "Are you okay?"

He kept looking at me. More like stared at me. I could hear his breathes through his nose as his hard chest rose up and down. With bravery, I took a step closer to him. But he didn't move an inch. I took another step and stopped.

I looked into his eyes, concerned, and asked again, "Are you okay, Peter?"

Last night I saw a different side to him and I hope that was the side I could get through to.

He stayed silent; there was questioning look in his eyes. Like he was asking why I would bother to ask a heartless monster if he was okay. After no response, I attempted a different approach.

"The boy I saw in the fire last night, was that you? Is that why you're so heartless?"

"I became heartless when the people I needed the most turned their backs on me. You of all the people I know should understand how that feels." He seethed out of his teeth.

My voice was gentle, like a mother's, "Becoming heartless doesn't mean the pain will go away, if anything, it'll only make it worse..."

Without a word he just walked towards me. I got so terrified that I started taking steps back until my hip hit the dressing table behind. Out of the blue, he threw everything off of the table with his arms that made me squeal. I looked in his eyes. Terrified and shaking. Thinking maybe he will hit me; I wouldn't of been surprised.

But he bent down and picked me up, placing me on the dressing table. His body between my bruised legs. Then he grabbed my face and kissed my dry pink lips. Hard and passionately. He kissed me like it was the end of the world.

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He lightly pulled the back of my hair and started sucking on my neck. A small moan escaped my lips. The sensation of his tongue and lips made my toes curled. He pulled my jumper off of me and forcefully pulled up my shirt and kissed my right above my cleavage.

This time I moaned louder, I just couldn't compose myself with his touch. He picked me up and I involuntarily wrapped my legs around his waist to stop myself from falling. Peter threw me in his bed like I weighed nothing. He then crawled on top of me. His eyes never leaving the sight of my swollen pink lips. He crushed his lips on mine again. My hands in his hair. It felt like the feeling of lust just exploded out of us both. Peter kissed me like I was his only breath to survive. I realised I couldn't let things go further than it already has. I don't think I could morally live with myself if i let thing between us progressed.

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I pushed him back; detaching our lips, but not our bodies. Our breaths were ragged, "I can't do this... it's not right..."

"Since when did you think that stopped me?" He said between kisses.

Being more assertive, I pushed him back roughly, "I refuse to be with a heartless monster."

In an instant, his face changed. Like before he was loving but now his anger came back. He pushed himself off of me and picked my jumper off from the floor to throw to me.

Finally he spoke again, "So be it."

I looked down, unsure what to do. He opened his top drawer and pulled out a white gown, "Wear this. I will not have the natives see you in ragged clothes."

I remembered Wendy Darling from the bedtime story of Peter Pan wore a white gown. I wondered if it was hers, I mean why else would he have a dress? I asked, "who did this dress belonged to?"

He lifted a brow and his adam's apple bobbed, "how did you know it belonged to someone?"

"Why else would you have a dress?" I got up from his bed and took the dress.

He calmed down, "It belonged to a friend."

I hesitated before asking, "Did she break your trust?"

"No."

"Then what happened to her?"

"I killed her." There was a glint of anger in his eyes, but his body didn't tense, "why does this surprise you? After all, I'm a heartless monster, aren't I?" He left, evidently offended by my words.

A part of me wanted to feel bad for calling him that, but he killed that girl. I might not know the whole story, but I had a gut feeling he didn't think twice before killing her. That thought made me shiver because what makes her any different from me. Would he think twice?

I changed into the gown that reached my ankles. It creeped me out to wear a dead person's clothes, like I was replacing her. It was very modest I thought to myself. I came out of the tent and Peter looked up and down at me. I could tell a memory resurfaced for him, a memory that anchored my curiosity. I walked up to him and he reluctantly lifted his hand for me to hold. I looked at him questioningly.

He rolled his eyes, "Either this or you walk."

I hesitantly took his cold hand, that was almost twice the size as mine. Smoke started to surround us and before I got the chance to panic, the smoke dissolved into the clear air. We were in a different part of the forest. I looked around and realised a line of trigs and leaves in front of us; separating us from the path ahead. In the distance two men, with tribal paintings on their skin, walk up to us, they began to speak in a foreign language to Peter. I stayed quiet as he spoke back to them. I was surprised he could speak their language almost fluently. By the looks of it they finished discussing and the two men went down the path with Peter following after them.

It was then I noticed I was still holding Peter's hand.

I quickly pulled away my hand from his, but his grip was hard. Too hard. He gave me a death stare; he was challenging me to disobey him. I guess he wanted to convince the natives of our 'love'. I contained a whimper as his grip got tighter; I could already feel the bruises forming. He had a piercing eye on me and a little smirk on the corner of his lips. Almost as if he liked watching me whimper in pain. Abruptly, he began to walk and I was forced to follow.

We made it to the tribe's camp and I marvelled the sight. It was much more tidy compared to our camp. There were large tepees and totem poles along with at least a fifty natives of all ages. I even saw a mother with a baby in her arms. Wait, I thought nobody ages here? Looking over to Peter, he was staring at me in the corner of his eye, but the second I noticed, his eyes focused on the biggest teepee. The two men opened the curtains for us and Peter went in. I shyly followed behind him.

I gazed around and noticed now beautiful the teepee was on the inside. Twine and patterns covered the top and there was a decaying tapestry beside Peter. I tried to get a look at it, but Peter was in my way. I looked ahead of us and noticed three people sitting on tribal painted, throne-like chairs. There was a man which I assumed was the chief, then his wife, maybe. And the one on the smallest throne was a girl around my age, if not older. I thought to myself if she's Princess Tiger Lilly, since she looked like how Frankie described to me a while back. There was a glint of anger in her eyes when they traveled to my hand, which was holding Peter's.

Peter and the chief began speaking in a foreign language again and I was forced to stand beside him awkwardly under the intensity of everyone else's gaze. Their discussion became a little heated at some point and then the chief stared at me as if he was trying to figure me out. I looked at Peter to avoid his gaze. Peter said something to the chief and he replied back with a whistle.

Suddenly two native ladies in traditional gown-like dresses came up to me and were waiting for me to go with them. I looked at Pan questioning if I should go with them and he pulled me close to whisper in my ear, "Remember, your meant to be in love with me." He then kissed my cheek.

It was clear he hated me now. He hated the fact that I refused him. That I called him a heartless monster. I didn't think it would've offended him; he seemed quite aware of how evil he was.

He idly gestured me to follow the two women. I did and they took me outside and into another smaller tepee. There were various fabrics hung up on the walls and the lady gestures for me to stand in the middle. I did so and she began to take my measurements for the dress with some chord that had markings on.

When she is finished, Peter comes in and makes me take his hand. I could tell he still resents me, but choose to ignore it. Before I realise it, were are back at our camp and Peter storms to his tent before I could say anything else. I I look over to the campfire and realise everyone is eating lunch. They notice my arrival.

Oh crap... I'm in a dress.

I blush crazily and run into the treehouse to change. I get changed and awkwardly get my lunch and sit with the lost boys. The second I sit down, Felix gets up abruptly and goes to Peter's tent. He was clearly irritated. I wondered briefly if he knew the person the dress belonged to. Their silence around me is urging me to stab myself with a dagger. Even Thomas avoided my gaze.

Thankfully, Ian breaks the silence, "what uh... happened A.J?"

I was honest, "Peter took me to the natives." I remembered to ask, "do they age?"

Ian put it simply, "Peter said that the natives had adapted to Neverland. They can age, just extremely slowly. And small few don't age at all like us."

Well, I guess that makes sense.

Frankie asked, "Why'd you wear that dress? It's looks familiar."

"Frankie..." Ian hushed.

Everyone stayed silent for a moment, looking down as if they were grieving.

Then Adrik scoffed, "Just a pathetic attempt to make her look less ugly."

"Adrik!" Charlie groaned.

"it's the truth, isn't it?" Adrik said to me.

Felix came out of Peter's tent and looked at me in hatred. He ordered, "Frankie, A.J, Daniel, Derik and Maison, all of you are on garden duty and the rest of you deal the traps and fortifications." And with that, he left. I wondered what he did whenever he was gone. He was rarely around and I wondered where he went.

After collecting vegetables from the small garden next to the stream, Frankie and I headed to the camp. He was talking about how I reminded him of his mother in the dress I wore. He then went on about his sister and how I act her. Guilt clouded my thoughts; no child should live without the love of a family.

We made it to camp and Peter was shouting at someone, I couldn't see who, from the crowd of boys. Once I shuffled through to the front, I saw Peter pointing a sword at Thomas.

"What's going on Thomas?"

Thomas's hands were held behind his back by Adrik and Maison.

Peter spoke in pure abhor, "Your 'lovely' Thomas was searching through my spell books. He was looking for a way to escape, therefore he should be banished."

Charlie stood by my side, "I'm sure he wasn't looking for a way to escape."

Dipper spoke, "What else would he be looking for?"

Ian insisted, "Thomas has always been loyal to you Pan, he loves Neverland. He would never try to escape."

Peter simply ignored them and slowly stabbed the sword into his chest, "Any last words Tom, before I send you to the mermaids?"

The sky had turned an ocean blue, darkness still blanketed over the forest. I could've sworn it was midday. My heart echoed through the forest as Thomas began to hiss at the pain.

"Peter, please. Let him go and I'll take any other form of punishment for him. I'll do anything, just please let him go." I screamed, or more like begged.

Peter pulled the sword away and stepped closer; too close, eyeing me with the very eyes I had feared earlier today, almost as if he was contemplating my request. "Anything?" he smirked.

My heart ceased for a few beats, then returned to normal speed. By the expression on his face, I knew exactly what he desired, but then again, perhaps I didn't. "Yes. Anything." I whispered.

"Leave him in the cage for now." Adrik and Maison, perplexedly followed through with his request, taking the key from Peter and dragging Thomas's bleeding body.

It took time for my heart to adjust to the world without the panic for Thomas's life. Though it was no different being in of captivity, I hoped Peter would let him out early.

The air seemed clearer and crisper once my heart beat lowered. The other boys had already started to calm and head off. I didn't know why Peter had let him go, but I knew that he wouldn't go unnoticed by the 'wrath of Peter Pan'. As my eyes wandered the earth beneath my shoes, a small folded slip of paper caught my eye; the same paper that Thomas had used for his sketches on. Three little words were written in scruffy handwriting:

Meet at dawn.

Indistinctly, I picked it up and shoved it on my pocket, making sure that no one had seen me. Peter had watched Thomas being dragged away with satisfaction. Once they left the clearing, he headed for his tent, but stopped and turned around, waiting for me to catch up, then draped his arm behind me as if to subtly bind me without rope or chains. There was no escaping his grasp, though he hardly tried and neither did I.

The walk of shame.

The boys watched as Peter possessively led me into his tent. This would only confirm Adrik's accusations about me sleeping with Peter to them, although they are false. I tried to take my time, but I had already accepted my fate. We went into his tent and I stayed not far from the door; contemplating whether I should make a run for it.

Peter lit the lantern in his room and my stomach churned with nausea and anxiety. "I know what you want me for." I stated.

"What I want you for?" Peter repeated, raising a brow and clearly amused.

"My punishment. I know how you wish to... punish me." I stammered, swallowing and standing straight.

Peter chuckled. "You think I want you to... please me?"

"Well... don't you?"

Peter stared at me for a split second before laughing. "That's what you thought 'anything' meant."

Suddenly, I felt foolish and my cheeks turned fiery red. I truly hadn't known what he meant.

"Unfortunately, my little robin, that wasn't what I meant. Though I would've expected you to be more nervous." Peter said, the flat surface of his finger nail trailing down the side of my face. "It's not like it has happened before. It's almost as if you wanted it."

"I would never." I gasped, "And how would you know about what I've done before and what I haven't?" I questioned. "You assumed?"

Peter cocked his head confusedly. "It was..." he started, but then stopped himself.

"What were you going to say?" I pressed.

"Nothing."

"You're lying to me." my voice grew stern; I didn't know where this new found confidence came from.

"Well my robin, it's just I wouldn't of expected you to have done anything." I sat down in the chair next to Peter's bed.

"I'm sorry I'm not as innocent as you might think." I spoke sarcastically.

The jealousy on his face was as clear as day, "Was it with Thomas?"

"No, I mean.. nothing happened between us. That's why he... why he's been avoiding me... because of the wedding." I looked down at my hands. I felt ashamed. Maybe I was the coward for not telling him the truth.

Peter was silent for a moment. "You mean you have-"

"Yes, Peter. I have done it with someone I wasn't very close to." I admitted, unable to look him in the eye.

The silence continued as Peter stood, a twinge of anger was incontrovertible on his face. His voice was harsh, "There's something you need to know."

"Okay."

Peter paced. "Do you remember the night I played the tune on my pipe that only you could hear?"

"It's hard to forget." I admitted. I don't think I could ever forget the way he held me in his arms. I despised myself for letting someone through the barricades I built. Letting someone like him through. A monster.

Peter sighed, turning from me and fiddling with the few things that sat atop his dresser. "I never meant to have done what I did, so perhaps it would be better if you forgot."

Peter was recoiling back into his protective shell and putting his mask back on, and the very thought made my heart break. I shouldn't feel guilt for him, but in my eyes he just looked like a child. A broken child.

"I don't think I ever could, Peter." I muttered, standing up from the chair and unsure of whether I should approach him or not, so I stood awkwardly behind him.

He turned around. "Come with me." he said, pulling the curtain apart and slipping through, making sure I followed behind him.

We left the tent once more and entered the darkness-submerged late-afternoon forest as rain clouds formed above us, but still Peter continued across our camp and through the woods, down the path that lead to the beach. I didn't think it rained in Neverland. If there was one thing that I had actually truly learned about Peter today, it was that he didn't mind being in the rain.

We arrived at the beach and Peter sat on the dry sand, the waves overtaking one another as they rolled onto the darkened beach.

"Why are we here?" I questioned.

Peter didn't answer. Instead, he gestured with his eyes to sit beside him. As I sat in the sand, I expected him to speak or to scold me or maybe tell me what my punishment would be, but we sat there without saying a word to each other. Serenity gorged itself on the silence between us; it was peaceful.

As thunder cracked and lighting followed after it, rain began to drizzle, joining itself with the sea and splattering on our shoes and on our noses, but still Peter sat unaffected.

"I am a heartless monster."

I stared at his features for a moment, rain water trickling down his clenched jaw and his neck. He squinted to keep the water from running into his eyes, and he swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing.

He continued, "Babies are brought into your world already loved and cared for. A mother loves her child before it gets the chance to take its first steps or even breathe. From the moment a child is born, they experience it." he looked at his open hands as the water raced down his finger tips. "But the lost boys never have known what it is to be cherished, Robin. They were abandoned."

He faced me, "However, we are different from the lost boys. Our experiences and even our expectations never existed. Like you said, 'abandonment requires expectations'. People like us live in disbelief. We have been lied to and ignored to the point where we cling to the idea that we could possibly be at least content someday. You thought you could be content at raising Marcus because at least then you could die knowing someone might actually care. The truth is no one is there for us. I feel anger and hatred towards them. The ones who turned their backs at me. However I despise myself more. I am a beast embodied in the form of a... a child."

I didn't dare speak, but I watched as his lips moved. I watched the mask come off again as the rain brought the monster from its shell. I watched his hands and his eyes and the way they moved. For a moment, I just watched.

"If we are not cherished, how must we learn to cherish others?" his voice softened in comparison to the storm that grew stronger, "When I start to believe that I am being shown love, I push it away because I can't understand how anyone could ever even think of feeling anything other than hatred for a... a heartless monster. For once in my life, I believed I could let someone through the barriers Ive spent centuries building. That someone was you, but I was wrong. You told me you could never fall for me because of what I am and what I do."

This was my chance. There was good in him, maybe I could bring that out. I have a chance to change him; I am not wasting this opportunity.

I spoke to him the same way I do with Marcus, "Maybe, all you need to do is make yourself worthy of love. We can stop this. This war doesn't have to happen. We can take the lost boys home. You can start a new life... with me." I breathed in deeply, "I was wrong. You're not a heartless monster. We are the same. We are just broken souls trying to find a place to belong. We are lost and alone. But we don't have to be, not anymore."

In this moment, his eyes met mine. My eyes stung with grief and broken-heartedness and before me was the raw, naked heart and soul and mind of Peter. I had forgotten how to breathe as Peter's eyes never left mine. And there as the rain drenched our bodies and dripped from our lips and chins, I grew closer to him, feeling his warm breath on my eyelashes.

His eyes looked down upon my face as if there wasn't lightning flashing or thunder clapping; as if there was nothing but he and I. Slowly and delicately, I inched closer, our noses brushing as I pressed my rain drenched lips to his. Thousands of unspoken words came to life. He was tender and passionate, but as he began to move my quivering lips, he became more resentful. Almost as though he was determined to kiss his pain away.

Unfortunately, he was rendered unsuccessful...