Chapter 15

In the evening, my mum got back from the market and saw the whole house was unlocked. She hurried into the room to see me sleeping and sweating.

Rose, Rose!!

She called, but I didn't hear her since I was deep asleep.

That alone got her worried. He touched my head with the back of her palm just to check my body temperature, but according to her reaction, one could easily affirm that my temperature wasn't bad. She then tapped my hand while still mentioning my name. To me, her voice was sounding like a thousand miles away. But I recognized that it was my mum calling.

Yes, mummy!

I answered her while still feeling sleepy.

Wake up, Rose.

She said while helping me to sit up.

My daughter, why are you sleeping at this time? Hope all is well.

Yes, mummy. I'm fine. Though I was having a headache, I took the paracetamol you kept in the first aid. I guess that's what made me sleep this evening.

Headache again? It's not up to a month since you were diagnosed with malaria and typhoid. Which kind of problem is this? Or is there anything you wish to tell me, Rose?

She questioned me out of confusion.

The sleep cleared in my eyes once I heard her line of words, "IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WISH TO TELL ME".

Anything as how? I don't understand.

I couldn't allow her to gain access to my mind easily. But as I mother, I sensed that she already had some strange feelings in her.

Did you fail or had an accident of any kind? I'm asking all these questions because I don't know where or how to start. You just finished faking medication for malaria and typhoid, not quite long. Here you are at this time sleeping at this time that you're having headaches. Rose, if there's any issue, please let me know.

Mummy, I'm okay. I'm only having a headache, which, I believe, is already gone because I've taken the drug in our first aid box.

You better be okay.

She replied and left me in the room and went to prepare the dinner. I forced myself up from the bed and then joined her in the kitchen. We joined hands and speeded up (accelerate) the process. When we were done preparing the dinner, he left me in the kitchen and went to freshen up in the bathroom. Then I dished the meal and was already waiting for a hero that we would eat the meal. Just in a short while, she was done. Then she joined me as we ate our dinner. As I returned the plates to the kitchen, I picked up my towel and went into the kitchen. Then I realized that I could still perceive Eric's perfume from my cloth. As I was about to pull on my cloth, I also notice that I don't use to wear the same clothes at home. Then I confirmed that my mum must know that something fishy was going on.

I've fucked up. Why couldn't I tidy up my shit before this woman gets to know what happened? Now she's fully aware of what happened. She won't take it easier with me. Which story would I just cook up with that that may fit it? I wore a strange perfume and I wore this cloth which I do not use to wear while still staying at home. There must be a way out.

I said to myself and continued taking my bath. When I was done, I managed to make my steps orderly while avoiding any negative impressions.

It was when we were already on a bed that my mum began her talk again. She started by asking me whether I used to dress up in the cloth I wore when she came home while just staying at home. I replied to her that I initially wanted to meet with her in the market. I know not whether she was convinced by my response, but she instantly waved the question about the cloth I wore. She also made me understand that she perceived the aroma of the perfume I wore when she came home. For that one, I wasn't smart in answering her. I insisted that it was the perfume we have at home. Just that I mixed different ones. Myself, I know she wasn't convinced that we have perfumes that smell like that in our home

They let the sleeping dog lie, and she also waved the question but doubted my response repeatedly. Then, after many deliberations, she started raining down advice. That she doesn't want the street to see me as a wayward girl. She denied wanting me to make the kind of mistakes she made. She also said that because of what happened between her and my late date, people see her as a wayward person. And that's why she's been conserving herself not to continue in such a way. Her word, she also said that indirectly, people are excited to see me following in her initial footstep, but she doesn't want me to do the same. She gave me reasons why I had to prove the world wrong. Her advice struck me so hard that I almost started crying when she was advising me. She thought I was just imagining how she felt, not knowing that my cry was because I already crossed the lane. The pain of what happened at Eric's house got refreshed in my memory. I recalled the fact that I would no longer be referred to as a virgin in my entire life.

I managed to allow her to fall asleep before I quietly moved away and continued crying since I couldn't hold myself. Furthermore, I felt bad for going against her advice. But telling her about what happened would make her feel almost the way it felt that night. I bottled the feelings in me, but it wasn't easy for me that night. For some while, I used water to wash my face so that I could stop crying. I began to imagine what could become of me if, eventually, I got pregnant with what happened during the day. The feeling alone makes sent cold blood down my spine, and I began to ask God for forgiveness. I knew not that I could pray as I did that night. I began to apologize to God for what I did. And also promised that I would never repeat it if he helps to prevent me from getting pregnant from it. I attributed everything that happened to Satan. I reminded God how I have been keeping myself all those years. Furthermore, I also reminded him how I refused to allow myself to be spoiled the day when Damian wanted to make me sin.

My supplications that night weren't just as usual. It seemed as though my angels were there with me saying the prayers. I even reminded God of his words in the book of Zechariah chapter one, verse three where he promised to return to sinners when they return to him. I promised him that I have returned to stay. Furthermore, I reminded him of what was written in the book of Job chapter twenty-two, verse twenty-three where he promised to restore anyone who turns to him. Furthermore, I remind him of his promise in the same verse where he promised to keep unrighteousness far from my tent. After making those prayers, I felt a bit relieved. Thinking of the prayers I made, I knew not that I could even quote Bible verses while praying. Though I already knew that I didn't make the prayers alone because I had never been immersed in emotions while praying as I just did. As I stopped praying, I rested for a while before joining my mother on the bed.