Chapter 32: ...Will Return to The Self

"Nia! Over here!" A brown-haired girl, eyes concealed by glasses with a peculiar hypnotic swirl, waved from a table in the corner of the cafe while sporting a bright smile. Her name was Takajo Hiroki. A fellow mangaka, and, more importantly, Nia's best friend.

"Hiroki! How are you?" The gray-haired Spirit plopped down on the chair casually, raising up a hand in greeting.

"Hehe, well, my editors have been getting restless again," Hiroki laughed nervously, twiddling her hair.

"Ugh, tell me about it," Nia complained, slumping onto the table. "It's like they expect us to draw on command or something."

"Maybe if you stopped procrastinating until the day of the deadline…"

"What was that?"

"Er- nothing." The two looked at each other for a moment before sharing a smile. 

"Well then, what's the verdict on the menu?" Nia picked up the laminated sheet on the table, scrutinizing the pictures. "Hm, looks like they really didn't get creative with the naming this time. 'Jin's Skewer Set,' 'Ginrou's Deluxe Burger,' 'Hotaru's Roll Cake-'"

"Oh, don't even get me started on 'Hotaru's Roll Cake!'" Nia jumped as Hiroki suddenly let out an angry cry. "Oops, sorry…"

"No, no, it's ok. Go on, what's wrong with Hotaru getting a roll cake?" Nia asked laughingly.

"Well, you know! Hotaru shows a sweet and caring personality to her companions, but they completely neglected her cold and collected outward shell! You can't just strip away an entire aspect of a character to make them fit a dish!" Hiroki ranted, waving her arms to emphasize her point.

"Aren't you reading too much into this?" Nia pointed at another image on the menu. "For example, what does Jin really have to do with skewers?"

"Who cares about Jin?"

"Pfff!" 

————————I am the dividing line that skips time————————

"Ah, today was fun~" Nia flopped onto her bed, smiling as she let herself be enveloped in the cushy mattress. "I wonder when she's next available? Mm, [Razie-"

She stopped herself mid-sentence. Wait, can't I just text her about it? Why did I just default to asking [Raziel]? A troubled expression began to brew on her face. Come to think of it, when did I start to ask [Raziel] instead of talking to her?

Over ten years ago now, Nia had found herself suddenly manifesting into the world, armed with nothing but an Astral Dress and her omniscient Angel. Nine years ago, she finally learned to rein in her Spirit power and reintegrate into human society. And just over five years ago, she had used her Angel to see both into her own past, and the past of all the people she would meet that year. 

What she found horrified her.

Every human she indexed in [Raziel], whether they were a man or woman, twenty years old or eighty, had done some evil in their lives. There were a great deal that had done more than just some. The grandfather who worked at the ramen shop, the lady always went on the same bus as her, the young entrepreneur that had moved in next door. All of them bore something terrible in their past.

So she abandoned her faith in humanity, even though she could not abandon human society itself. Thus, she arrived at one conclusion: I'll just treat others as though they were NPCs. Necessary characters for this world to function, but otherwise useless individuals that don't deserve any further thought. This was how she functioned for another three years as she slowly created her own manga, and immersed herself in the world of 2D, a world in which its inhabitants could be guilty of malice.

That was until she met Takajo Hiroki. A seeming kindred spirit, who shared her passion and values. A person that Nia purposefully never looked into very deeply, in hopes of preserving her image of her most valued friend. And yet…

"...isn't this still a breach of privacy?" She muttered to herself worriedly. "Asking [Raziel] about the facts of her life… even if it's not to dig up her dirty laundry, it's still an invasion of her personal life, isn't it?"

That day was the day she realized something. Despite her ability to look into the sins of peoples' pasts, she was no different than the rest of them. A sinner, perhaps of the highest degree, who could invade the private lives of whomever she desired. And upon realizing that fact, that day also marked the beginning of something else.

The beginning of the end of her friendship with Takajo Hiroki.

————————I am the dividing line that skips time————————

"Hey Nia, it's Hiroki. I managed to wrestle a few hours of spare time away from my editors next Sunday. Do you wanna go try that new Collab Cafe for Chronicle? Call me back when you have time!"

BEEP-

Nia hesitated for a moment, typing in the first few numbers of Hiroki's phone number, then stopped herself. With a heavy hand, she put the phone down. No, I shouldn't. After all, despite all the kindness she's shown, I betrayed her trust. I… 

She stopped herself before more thoughts could appear.

…I need a drink.

————————I am the dividing line that skips time————————

"Nia? It's been a while. I'd, uh, like to congratulate you on your newly released volume of Silver Bullet. Do you want to maybe… grab a coffee sometime? But it's ok if you're still busy. I'd just… really appreciate it if you called back sometime…"

BEEP-

This time, her voice trailed off with evident hurt. Nia sighed shakily as she popped the tab on another beer open. I'm sorry, but you didn't know the real me. If you knew what I knew, you wouldn't be so concerned. So even though it hurts now, you'll surely forget about me. Trust me.

Downing the entire can within seconds, she slammed the can back down, letting it roll off onto the floor.

"This is for the best."

————————I am the dividing line that skips time————————

"Nia? Are you ok? You haven't responded in months, and when I talked to your landlord, they said you moved out two weeks ago… did I do something to upset you? Please, respond!"

BEEP-

Nia's eyes felt a little wet, but she attributed that to having not wiped her face down properly. Drawing the towel across her face again, albeit a little more roughly than necessary, she let off a shaky breath.

I… I don't regret this. I don't. It's for her own good, after all. And even if it isn't, haven't I already hurt her even more? There's no turning back now. It's already ruined…

Looking back up at the bathroom mirror, she saw a pair of hollow eyes staring back.

—————I am the dividing line that flashes forward—————

And now, those very same eyes stared at her once again. 

I see. So that's how it is. Nia stumbled forward silently and raised a hand. Kyo sighed, closing his eyes and surrendering himself to her judgment.

"ACK!"

"...?" Before he opened them again in utter confusion. "Did you just… try to pet me?"

Nia, holding her hand awkwardly, gave him a concerned look. "Why is your skin ice-cold?!"

"Uh, that doesn't answer my-"

"My question first!"

Kyo scratched his chin. "I just got out of a fight with two Spirits, remember? That kind of thing takes a lot of Reiryoku."

"...mou, whatever." She sighed, quickly recollecting her thoughts before speaking again. "I… I won't say I like what you did. In fact, I don't think you should've done it." But I don't have the right to berate you for it.

Kyo let himself fall heavily back onto his chair. "Yeah, that's fair enough."

"However!" Nia continued, crossing her arms. "I can tell you had good intentions. So for that… I can, at the very least, recognize your effort."

"Oh. Um, thank-"

"Don't thank me yet," she interrupted as she grabbed him by the cheek, her fingers noticeably shivering as she pulled him closer. "The next time you come up with a harebrained idea like this, you'll make sure I approve of it first, got it?" Even though I've made the same stupid plans in the past.

Kyo struggled against her fingers. "You know, this is my burden to bear. You don't have any responsibility in this matter."

"Responsibility? You never had a responsibility to help Yoshino in the first place. You never had one to come save me!"

He stopped cold at her words. Nia sighed, releasing him from her grip. I'm sorry for acting like a hypocrite. But watching you do this is like watching my past self again. And I won't just watch as you destroy yourself like I did. So…

"...Kyo, let me help you." 

"You don't need to."

"But I want to."

"..."

"Well?"

"...ok. Thank you, Nia."