New Boss Part 3

"I do not want to be a pirate." I muttered, tied up and hanging upside down from the main mast.

"Hahahaha! Ya gotta be faster ya stupid Nerd!" one of the newer crew members, someone who'd come on after we'd lost Oolong to the Marines.

A grunt shut the new guy up. But it wasn't from my tiny lil six-year-old ass.

"C-Captain! We was just–"

"Getting the boy back down." It was Captain Billy. My Captain. He'd been in charge of the crew ever since I could remember and probably would be for as long as we were the crew. He had two eye-patches.

Yes. Two eye-patches.

He wore both of them.

He was as blind as a bat.

Lots of people thought the big, gruff man was mystical or some shit since he could still fight and command a crew like this… but I bet it was Observation Haki. Him and Barley and momma had served on the same ship in the New World. I… honestly didn't know much, they didn't like talking about it… or even anyone else talking about it. Momma had punched the last dumbass to try it around me in the back of the face.

Yes. The back of the face.

Think about it.

My momma was scary.

*Snap!*

"Ack!"

*Thump*

"Ow." I deadpanned as I lay on the deck, looking up at the sky.

"Oi!" Captain Billy growled, "You landlubbers know better than to cut a rope! You'd better splice that back together!" The newbies scurried to comply even as I wriggled, trying to get free.

"Florida."

"Captain?" I grunted.

"Do better next session."

"Yes Captain." Eh. Freaking sparring sessions against full grown crew members. Never fun.

My Captain turned on his heel and walked straight into the mast.

The newbies snickered, but no one commented as Captain Billy took a step back and pointedly walked around the mast this time.

I hadn't learned what his real specialty had been before he'd lost his sight, nor why he wore two eyepatches rather than one blindfold, but I knew that this was just a fraction of the strength he'd had back when my mom was active before my birth and with both arms… back when he could see and aim with more than just his Haki…

And, to be fair, my Captain could still punch cannonballs out of the air.

-oOo-​

"Eh, pistols…?"

"Sure," I said, sitting on the railing of the ship as we approached Gothic Islands, "They're easier to make, and you'll probably make more use of them than rifles."

I'd never been to the Gothic Islands, which was technically an archipelago, resembling nothing so much as a spiderweb of cracks around a central lake. The islands were scattered in vaguely concentric circles of fragmented landmasses around a large, central freshwater lake, divided by significantly sized rivers.

"Eh, I was just expecting something a bit different is all." Bonney said, turning the pistol I'd added rifling to about in her hand.

But there were huge bridges over the big rivers that split up the individual islands. The archipelago was rather big as far as islands go, and was heavily populated, heavily forested, and rich in resources. It wasn't gothic in the sense of emo whiney babies, it was Gothic in the sense of Germanic barbarian tribes. While there were several port cities, the Gothic Islands were pretty lawless and had very little in the way of Marine presence. The native tribes didn't take well to the World Government. I had a feeling that there would've been more trouble if the tribes cared about sailing.

"If I stick around to the next island I'll modify them some more," I offered. They actually had this weird clip-pistol thing going on with common guns which loaded packets of a black powder derivative and ball ammo. The fire rate was shit for most guns, and reloading it took several minutes since you had to clean out the gun and very carefully load the paper wrapped packages.

"To do what?" Bonney asked curiously.

We were entering the light mist that perpetually hovered about these islands. I didn't know why, I think it had something to do with it being a Winter Island with the central spring that fed the outflowing rivers being hot… best guess though.

"Better fire rate and reload time, it'll take some practice to get used to it though." Revolvers are awesome.

"More promises?" Bonney asked in disbelief.

I pulled my recently made revolver from my pants. She frowned and I smirked a bit. Turning, I dropped the gun to hip level and with a quick motion, used my other hand to pull the hammer back and let it fall back five times in quick succession, firing out into the ocean. I popped the cylinder out with a flick of my wrist and dug some of my own special paper wrapped charges out of my pocket and loaded the five in quick sequence before another flick of my wrist sent the cylinder back into place.

Took about four seconds total.

Bonney's jaw went just a bit slack and I had to resist the urge to preen as she muttered, "That… okay, that's definitely better."

"Some practice involved obviously," I pointed out even as I pushed the gun back into my pants. Most guns could fire maybe once per two seconds and had a capacity of about four shots for pistols and about five or six for rifles, "But yeah, I can make pistols and rifles like this with some effort."

That wouldn't be a big deal, and they could run off of my mix or, with a small modification, standard flintlocks. Whether I'd make that modification or not before I left depended on how they acted.

Bonney gave me a calculating look, which I honestly found a lot more attractive than anything else she'd done, the pistol in her hand dangling, "And what would it take for you stay with us?"

I paused, looking out at the horizon, "… whether my crew is still alive or not."

---

Something occurred to me as I leaned against the railing at the prow of the ship. I turned back towards the cake-shaped cabin.

"Hey! Bonney!" we were coming to port on the northern side of the Gothic Islands, which had the smallest Marine presence. Tacitly, the pirates went to the northern islands, and the Marine's went to the southern ones.

"What is it Ironhide?!" the only woman on the crew hollered from the window to her cabin in the top layer of the 'cake'.

With my hands cupped around my mouth, I hollered, "Do you have any foundation or blush that I could borrow?!"

"What are you, some kind of pervert?!" she shouted back.

"Yes! But not that kind!" I gestured at the thin but noticeable line on my face. It was a horizontal cut going from the top of one ear to the other with an accompanying one on my nose, "This thing's pretty noticeable and I need to hide it!" She couldn't see it at this range with me at the prow, but there was no way she'd mistake what I was talking about while gesturing at my eyes.

"Oi! What are you planning on doing?!"

"Seeing if the Marines know what happened to my crew!"

"Don't bring the Marines on our heads!"

"Why do you think I want a disguise?!"

"Then get up here Ironhide!"

---

I'd borrowed one of the crew's ten gallon hats with as little embellishment as I could find to hide my short, spikey brown hair, and after some foundation and blush to hide the stark white of my facial scars against my bronzed skin I really hadn't bothered with anything else other than body language.

I mean, my classic outfit wasn't a shirt, shorts, and sandals… and I was down my usual bandolier, sword, and hat. My belt and gun were sort of iconic, but I'd hidden those beneath my untucked shirt and I wasn't a big fish regardless.

So it was with total confidence and only a small deliberate swagger that I walked right into the "bounty office" on the island. Small room in a larger 'World Government' building, it just had two benches, some potted plants, and the clerk's window with some iron bars. It was really just the place that collected and disseminated money for the World Government.

The secretary at the desk looked up briefly, eyes only glancing over me before he drolled out, "How may I help you?"

"Eh… I was wondering if a bounty's been collected on," I drawled, deliberately cleaning my ear with a pinky to give the impression of disrespect, "Been hearing something about the Eyepatch Pirates and wanted to know if someone collected on m'ah bounty."

"One moment please," the man sighed and got up and headed off into the back room behind the desk and wall.

I stood there for a moment, my heart thudding in my chest despite the casual indifference I was doing my best to portray. It'd been over three weeks since I'd been stranded on that island… what had happened to my crew, my friends, my family?

After several minutes of tense silence that I spent scratching my ass, the secretary came back with a clipboard in his hands. Standing behind the bars, he flipped through it, "It looks like the Eyepatch Pirates have been collected on…"

My chest went cold and my hands clenched as the man continued, "Captain Billy the Eyepatch, deceased. Bladed Barely, deceased. Chugo the Chopper, deceased." He flipped the clipboard's page, "Mm, looks like the bounty on Florida wasn't collected on… ah, he's declared deceased but his bounty is for him alive."

"Yeah," I said, "They wanted that one alive only." I took a breath before spitting into a nearby plant pot, putting my hands on my hips to keep them from shaking. World wasn't spinning, but it was a close thing, "Tch, been trying to track them down for a while now… who do I gotta rib about takin' my bounty?"

'Who do I need to kill?'

"Mmm…" another flip of the page, "Looks like Vice-Admiral Onigumo."

My stomach dropped out from me and my chest felt hollow, "The Spider?"

The secretary looked up, noticing my out-of-bounty-hunter-character response, "Hm? There a problem?"

"Onigumo and I have… a history." 'Understatement of the year…' "Not happy he took my bounty."

"You know the Vice-Admiral?"

"Not… personally. Tch," I snorted and failed to restrain a snarl as I turned, "Great. There… ugh… there goes that bounty."

"There are other active bounties you might be able to collect on," the secretary offered helpfully to my back.

I waved it off as I walked out of the room, "N'ah, not now… gonna go drink, thanks though."

\____-o(X)o-_____/​

"Mom…" I took a shuddering breath as I buried my face in her side, clinging tightly to her waist, "I… I don't wanna be a pirate…" I cried freely as I clung to her, trying to blot out the smell of smoke with her familiar, comforting smell.

"I know sweetie… I know…" her wrist softly brushed against my short hair as she stood strong.

I'd just seen someone die.

No… be killed.

My mom had killed that marine. Cut him in half with the meat cleaver. He'd come bursting into the kitchen where my mom and I hid during battles and my mom… she'd cut him in half, one stroke…

I still had blood on me… he'd… he'd just ruptured…

"Momma… I don't want to do this for a living…"

A cannon shot shook the ship and my mom hugged my little four year old body close, "I know baby… but you were born on a pirate ship, you were raised by pirates… the Marines won't let you go… it's why I want you to be strong… I don't want you to worry about having the Marine's hurt you… I don't want to worry about you getting hurt…" her arm squeezed me tight against her side, meat-cleaver held out towards the busted in door.

I whimpered and clung to her.

-oOo-​

For what felt like the fiftieth time today, I sighed and rubbed my face. I walked over the grand bridges that connected the islands as I headed back northwards. These things were over a dozen meters across and very high, high enough to allow most mid to smaller ships to pass beneath them, sails and all.

So… I guess I was sticking with Bonney for the foreseeable future… wasn't a complaint but… ugh, what a day.

Progress was halted when I bumped into someone.

"Ah, sorry," I muttered as I backed up and looked up to find a man quite deliberately blocking my path.

'… the fuck?' The man leered down at me and I raised an eyebrow at him, "May I help you?"

"Oh no, not at all," the large man said jovially, but didn't move.

I glanced around. The bridge was blocked off partially by two large carriages. The gap between the two of them was filled with several dozen men with pistols and swords. Not too far away there was a line of people going through and handing over some belly. Behind all of the men was a moderately sized man with slicked back hot pink hair in a ti-dye shirt and black pants, obviously none of them were natives.

Man, I was more out of it than I'd thought if I hadn't noticed this until the guy had stopped me. I hadn't noticed on the way to the office since I'd geppo'd my way across the islands.

This time, the sigh was one of frustration, "There's a toll to use the bridge?"

"Oh no, not at all." He kept grinning but didn't say anything else. So I rolled my eyes and made a 'get on with it' gesture. It was then the man said, "There's a toll to get off the bridge."

"Obviously." I grumbled as I pinched the bridge of my nose, 'Ugh. Not today. How tough are these guys…? Do I go around…' I paused, blinking before closing my eyes. I didn't feel any serious amounts of Haki from them, so they probably didn't have access to it…

Coming to a decision, I looked up at the man, "Look, I'm having a rough day and I've got nothing on me. Can I just go through?" It was a long shot but–

A big hand was placed on my shoulder, "We'll be the ones to say you've got nothing, otherwise your day will get a lot– AGH!"

I'd backhanded the wrist attached to the hand he'd put on me, feeling something in his wrist buckle and hearing a muffled crack, "No. You won't."

"Nng!" the big man clutched his wrist, but aside from his pained grunts, the bridge apparently had gone silent.

"Now, are we done? I've been having a bad day and you are not making it any better."

**Pulling his pistol–**

I sighed as I straightened my right hand, I started it vibrating as this guy started to pull his pistol. I stepped up as he tried to straighten his arm in aiming, his arm to the side of his head and his wrist past my back–

"Rankyaku: Chisel!"

–the glowing tips of my fingers flew upwards and plunged an inch into the man's forearm. The pistol kicked as it fired wide, the bullet flying up into the air.

The man screamed in pain as he stumbled backwards, blood pouring from the portion of his arm the vacuum chisel had gouged out. I just scowled at him as he clutched at the arm, hearing more than a few gasps from the line of civilians, but also quite a few safeties being undone.

First instinct was to get the fuck out of there, but I resisted, instead clenching my insides and letting the hard sensation of steel pass through me. The pink-haired man approached calmly, and I flicked the blood off of my fingertips as I straightened out, "So, you've obviously picked a bigger fight than you intended, let me by and we're done here."

"Of couuurrrse–"

'Ugh, great, he's gonna attack me. Of couuurrrse.' I really didn't want to fight them, but I was having a bad fucking day. That and they were probably murderous jackasses. This was a good way to vent.

"I'll just escort you past my men–"

'Really wish I had my sword, because I'd be willing to bet–'

**Attacking with his arms–**

I swung my hard fast and hard over my head, "Rankyaku: Blade!"

His arms flung forward, turning into amorphous pink masses, "Jello Jello no Cage!"

The barely perceptible crescent flash of blue split the pink masses, but they continued to surge forward to envelop my head and shoulders. I started to pull away-… but I didn't feel any pain aside from a general pressure… at which point I remembered that I now had a Devil Fruit and turned my entire body slowly into metal, the pressure disappearing as I did.

"Kiiiikikikiki…" the man chuckled, the sound muffled by the… jello I guess? Couldn't see anything but blurry shadows through it… "Too bad for you… I'm a Jello-Man!"

'Oh joys. Someone hasn't read the list… by the way, is this supposed to be a threat…?' I tried to move and found myself struggling to do so… the guy moved with me so I couldn't get my head out and the resistance wasn't insignificant… at least without turning my muscles to steel… '… well, this would probably be a problem if I needed to breathe… wait, is he still talking?'

"–you'll die. Just like anyone else who gets on the wrong side of the Jello Pirates!"

*tintintinTing*

"While we're here, everyone pays the toll to get off the bridge."

*tintintinTing*

"Good day, bad day, doesn't matter. If you don't pay the toll… you'll have a very… bad… day… kiiikikiki…"

*tintintinTing*

"I hope you all learn from your helpful companion's example! He was so kind to volunteer himself to show what happens when you don't pay the toll to get off the bridge! Kiiikikikiki–"

*tintintinTing*

I was quietly drumming my steel fingers against my equally metal hip as I waited for him to finish monologuing damnit.

"Kiiii… ah… ahhh… you're… you're not dying…"

*tintintinTing*

"Oh… oh… um… this… this has never happened before."

I'm going to grab him. Hand, Infusion.

My left hand reached up and caught a hold of his jello-y arm, and with a weak infusion of will, it found true purchase in his semi-fluid body, "W-What-?!"

I ripped the pink mass of his semi-fluid arms right off of my face, finally able to see again. The jello-man's eyes were wide. A flick of my left arm, only intended to knock his jello-arm aside ripped the damn thing right off.

"N-No!" the pink haired man stumbled backwards, the masses of jello flowing back towards him –

But no. I'm done with this.

I took two quick following steps as my right hand cocked back, clenching into a fist–

I'm going to hit him. Fist, Armament.

The force of my spirit encompassed my right fist and wrist, "Falcon-! Punch!"

Lunging forward, my arm straightened right into the jello-man's stomach, his body giving way for just a moment before he went flying away. His flying body bowled over one of his men and hurtling through the air before he literally splattered into pink jello against one of the trees on the other side of the river.

I just stared, frozen in place, fist extended. He'd flown over twenty meters easy. And if I wasn't mistaken, his amorphous body had caused the tree to splinter and crack. And I hadn't even felt it.

'… right. Metal-mode is stronger.' I blinked a few times as I straightened out, '… Damn.'

**Sword swing, above left–**

"You bastard!"

A half-step to the right and the oversized sword missed, embedding in the cobblestone as I finished the motion of drawing my revolver, bringing it up to eye level with the larger man. His eyes widened and I pulled the hammer back.

The bullet put a clean hole through his head with only minimal cavitation. The seven foot man fell forward like a puppet with its strings cut, falling onto his own sword.

Without letting the barrel of my revolver drop, I aimed at the slowly reforming mass of jello. My Observation Haki wasn't good enough to pinpoint where his head would reform, so I'd err on the side of caution.

Deep breath.

Chambers: Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Armament.

"Armament: Ebony." I squeezed the trigger and the revolver kicked in my hand five times in quick succession as I unloaded the haki-infused round-shot into the vaguely human-shaped mass of pink.

"Aagghh!" the mass let out a brief scream as it writhed before it hacked a few times and settled back onto the ground, solidifying into a human shape. Within moments, a patch of red began to expand in the ground beneath the still form.

"Y-You bastard!" I popped the cylinder out of my revolver as one of the jello pirates shouted, his voice cracking, "That-! You killed our Captain!" I blew into the cylinder to clear out black powder residue.

I looked up at the gathered men, finding guns once more pointed at me. Making a decision, I locked the cylinder back into place with a flick of my wrist. I softly asked, "Do you really want to go there boys?" I turned towards them, tucking my pistol back into my pants, "If we do this boys, I'm gonna be killing you too."

A wielder of Conqueror's Haki I was not, because only a few even looked concerned.

**Fourth guy on the left, opening fire, center of mass–**

Hmm… I could leap away, but here was a chance to test my power… "Alright then."

They opened fire and my joints groaned as I reflexively shielded my face, bullets ricocheting off of my iron skin… it… it felt like rain. It seriously felt no worse than some heavy drops of water splashing against my skin.

'… huh.' A vicious grin appeared on my face, "Well how about that."

My legs thumped against the ground rapidly, "Soru!" I only managed six kicks against the ground, two fewer than my average, but the ground beneath my foot buckled and I flew forward. "Tekkai!"

Blood splattered against my iron skin and a body went flying off of the bridge, chest caved in.

The pirates barely had time to reorient before I was moving once more, "Soru!" Bouncing between the thugs like I was in a damn mosh pit, I slammed into their chests and sides, and one by one, they fell. A body of solid metal slamming into them at Soru speeds… there had to be more power in my tackles than a Buster Call Cannon.

**8lb. Cannon shot–**

I turned quickly and the flash of insight, a little cannon they'd had in one of the carts was being aimed at me–!

"Geppo!"

I shot straight up and brought my feet together hard… harder damnit!

For rather obvious reasons, holy shit I weighed a lot more and it was a lot harder to gain altitude, but by the time the cannon fired I was well out of the swivel cannon's firing angle.

I let my internals relax back into flesh, keeping my skin as steel, the sudden loss of weight allowing me to get even higher above the pirates. Bunny hopping in the air, each little hop making the air explode beneath my feet, I scowled down at the situation.

Where there had been about two dozen pirates standing about, there was now mostly a red stain, broken and shattered bodies were scattered wide along the bank, torn apart and crumpled by the G-forces and impacts. There were only a couple left, while a few were running away like smart people, some were still pointing shaking guns at me… and two were trying to reload that cannon…

A bullet pinged off of my skin.

'… how about no?'

Body of Steel!

"Geppo, Soru!" With a quick jack-hammering of my feet against the air I launched myself at the cannon, coming down like a missile. My eyes closed as I braced myself, tumbling those last few feet– Wood, flesh, steel, and stone all crumpled and the impact was more of an explosion, dust and fragments of stone getting thrown up into the air.

The fractured stone beneath me shifted and I froze. I'd nearly punched a hole through the bridge–! I had a moment of panic mixing in with the brief disgust at having literally blown the two men to pieces. Was I going to plunge into the river-?!

For an instant, I didn't move, afraid the bridge would buckle.

"Is… is he dead…?"

But the stone held.

A sigh of relief escaped me and, with some effort, I shifted, causing the stone to crack as I got up off of the deformed cannon, which had been distorted and twisted like a twizzler from the impact… and that was an arm wasn't it? And that was a bit of a liver?

… hoo boy. That's terrifying.

The dust cloud was settling as I stood, wiping the blood, gore, and chips of stone off of my shoulder and arms.

With a calm I didn't really feel, I strode confidently out of a damn crater I'd made.

I was the Rod from God.

"N-No way…"

I stepped out of the settling dust cloud.

"M-Monster…"

"D-Demon-!"

"Scholar." I corrected, putting my hands in my pockets. Despite the churning of my stomach at the horribly visceral bodily harm I'd just caused, I glared at them, "Now get lost."

With a terrified and wordless sound, the few remaining men broke and ran. A satisfied smile appearing on my face.

I turned to look at the civilians, "Oi!" They flinched away, not that I could blame them honestly, "Did anyone get hit by a ricochet?"

---

New Boss Part 3 End